Managing the People Puzzle: Navigating Leadership Challenges with Emotional Intelligence

0:00 Coming up on this episode of the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise podcast. Okay. And I would advise anyone, you know, if you have kids and if your kids, you know, are in sports or have any type of skill or, or if they play music or if there's anything, I would suggest that they really help them to be successful in that skill or. Or technique or whatever that they're doing, because you never know how that can help them down the line, not just with getting into getting into his particular school or welcome to the healthy, wealthy, and wise podcast with Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD, this podcast will provide you with tools and actionable information you can use to help live a more healthy, wealthy, and wise life.

0:50 It's powered by the over 50 years of medical experience of this. medical school trained surgeon who is also a western state law school trained attorney with executive experience being a former mayor of walnut california as well as the current chairman of the non profit servants arms and as president of chaka medical group incorporated this is the leadership masterclass edition already in progress Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our next episode of the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise podcast. We are absolutely delighted to have one of our unique leaders.

1:31 And we indeed view this podcast as an offshoot of the Leadership Masterclass. And one of the things that we try to do on a regular basis is have leaders in different levels of leadership and have them to stop by and share their words of wisdom with us. Uh, we are absolutely Uh, thrilled, uh, to have, uh, Mr. Preston Choctaw. Now you may say, wait a second, wait a second, Choctaw? And I would say, yes, you heard that right. Uh, he is indeed one of my progeny.

2:11 And we will, we will have him, uh, to tell us about himself, but welcome Preston. Welcome to the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise podcast. Well, thank you very much. Very glad to be here. Glad to be here. Give us your thoughts about leadership and what has been your experience over, uh, your, your, uh, lifespan, uh, in terms of, uh, what you think leadership is and, and how you've been involved with it. Yeah. Um, so, you know, it's, it's, it's kind of funny actually, because I, I never, you know, growing up, uh, and when you have, say, you know, parents and when you have a, You know, a father who's, who's always talked about leadership and talked about, you know, what it is to be a leader and you're a leader and this, this and this.

3:04 Um, you know, I, I didn't really understand what that really meant. You know, what is it, you know, is it just that you just, you know, take the first step or you just tell people what to do or, or, you know, what, what exactly does that, does that mean? Um, and, uh, I would say my first, my first starting, when I started to really understand or at least have a concept of what it is was through sports, you know, a lot of kids start playing, you know, different, you know, sports and my sport was, was soccer, or I'll say it still is soccer, um, and, um, there are a variety of times, whereas, uh, because of, I would say my, my Tenacity of how I played on the field when I first started playing, even though I wasn't, I didn't, I never considered myself really, like, really, really good when I first started, but, you know, I had a drive.

4:00 I had a motivation. I had. You know, I was, I was short. So I was too, too short to really be good at basketball. I was too light to be really that good at football, but for soccer, I can, I can be fat. I will. So I can run. Um, but, and I was aggressive. Um, and as I began to keep playing, I started to understand that, you know, the other players on the field, my teammates, they started to look, look to me for guidance. Mm-Hmm. . Um, and I, I didn't understand what that was at first. I didn't understand why that was, but they they did. Yes. So then I began to look at, okay, well then how can I guide them?

4:41 How, how can I help them? Right? And there were different things that I did for myself, like I would. Um, there are many times where I would go in like my backyard or go to the park with just a soccer ball and I would just work on stuff and I would just keep working and working and working until I could master certain skills. And then when my teammates would come to me for guidance about, Hey, Preston, what do you think we should do here? What do you think we should do there? Um, you know, I would look at my own experiences on the field, I would look at the type of work that I've done individually, and then I would kind of combine those together and come up with some sort of a plan, like, Oh, hey, so, you know, since you're good at this, maybe you should go, you know, on this left side and then watch this guy who's coming down the right flank, because he tends to do this, or, or be careful of this side because he tends to do that.

5:29 So, what I began to understand was, um, being able to observe how others are, and then, and others, I mean, my teammates, and then I mean, then also the, the opposition, and then myself, uh, and then kind of put together a, I guess, a strategy or a plan for then how, how we move forward on, on the soccer field. So, um, you know, that was just me just doing it because, you know, Hey, you know, they're asking me a question about how I can help. I'm like, okay, great. You know, this, this is how I can help. Okay. So you fast forward a little bit, you fast forward, you know, throughout, you know, playing soccer and all that jazz.

6:15 And then you get into, you know, myself in the professional realm. You know, I'm getting into my first real job as a service coordinator at the regional center of Orange County, which is basically, I was a case manager, like, like a social worker, almost for, um, Uh, uh, individual, individuals who had, uh, developmental, uh, uh, disabilities. Okay. So I, I would help manage their case, making sure they got services. I would meet with their parents and we would have like these group meetings with, you know, the county and all that stuff. And we would try to make sure that, that, that, that, that they were set up with the services and the things that they, that they need.

6:58 Okay. Um, so that was my first real job. And in that real, in that job, you know, You know, I was coming in with the mindset of, Oh, you know, I mean, this is, this is nice, you know, I'm, I'm finally getting some money, right. Cause I'm working 40 hours a week, you know, I'm on my own. I'm living with roommates, you know, everything's great. It's fun. Um, but then, As I begin to understand that, you know what, um, there's, there's a barrier for me to go further. And that barrier was that, you know, one, of course I didn't have the experience because I was still learning, but two, um, when I had gotten this job, I, I had a bachelor's and having a bachelor's degree is great.

7:46 I mean, I think probably most, I mean, I think that's kind of like one of the. Fundamentals of when you're from high school, and you do all the basic requisites, and then when you get into the professional realm, you know, the bachelor's part, that really sets you aside from others, because now you've gone that you get your bachelor's? Oh, uh, University of California, Irvine. UC Irvine. Okay. Yes. Yes. Uh, which was a fantastic experience. Um, and, and also it, it, it helped that I, I, I had my quote unquote tenacity on the soccer field helped me to be able to, to go to UC Irvine cause I ended up playing, playing soccer there for the first two, two years.

8:34 Okay. And I would advise anyone. You know, if you have kids, and if your kids, you know, are in sports, or have any type of skill, or, or if they play music, or if there's anything, I would suggest that they really help them to be successful in that skill, or whatever. Yeah. Or technique or whatever that they're doing, because you never know how that can help them down the line, not just with getting into getting into a particular school or it, but it also give them certain skills, skill sets, how to work hard, how to practice, how to have determination.

9:15 Dedication, all that stuff matters because then that stuff bolsters you in, in, in your life. You know, when you started having that job, you know, you know, if you, if you were a band major and you're playing the trumpet all the time and you're practicing, you know, you know, five hours after you come home from school or whatever, when you get yourself that job, you're going to know, Hey, look, you know, I know that if I work hard, like I did hitting that. But five hours after work, I mean, five hours after school, if I put that dedication into my job, you know, I could be really, really successful there. So, um, the, the, the fact of you putting in the extra work, that's what, Doing extra extracurricular activities does for you.

10:03 Got it, got it. So, so anyway, I, I digress. Um, that's okay. That's okay. No, that's good. I'm, I'm kind of taking, take, taking us along a journey, so That's all right. We, we, we'll just follow you, you right along. Keep going on the journey. I'll, I'll keep on going. Keep on going. It's your journey. It's all good. , no. Um, uh, so, so yeah. So what I was talking about it. Yeah, the regional center, which was a great experience, mind you, and I will put a plug out there. You know, people with developmental disabilities, um, we need to make sure that they have the services that they need to live the lives that they want to live. Okay. We, we don't, we shouldn't.

10:44 You know, think of them as different. We need to think of them as, uh, as people who have their own aspirations and their own goals. And we need to understand what those goals are and help them to achieve those. Yes. Just want to put that plug in there. Okay. I completely agree. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Fair enough. Uh, so what I realized though, is that, um, as a service coordinator, Um, uh, I was only going to go so far with my career, so I decided to, to, to go to graduate school. So I ended up going to graduate school, uh, getting, uh, uh, getting a dual, a dual master's, uh, master's in social work and a master's in public health.

11:27 Um, uh, and what that did was, with that additional education, what that did was, um, was that Uh, I learned a certain set of skills by doing both of those. What were those skills that you learned? Well, one, um, I learned, you know, how to be responsible. . Okay, that's a good skill. Make a plain and simple. Um, I learned that, um, uh, when I'm supposed to do something and when I have. A deadline to do it. Yes, I need to make sure that I get that done, but even beyond that, I need to make sure I'm preparing for that, you know, maybe a week to two weeks to three weeks ahead of the time.

12:11 Uh, ahead of time. So you learn time management learned plan among other things? Yes. Okay, got it. Time management and how to plan everything out. And I also learned that when you do that, you know. One, it relieves stress because you wait until you know, going on, it's, it's going to stress you out. And then, and then also once you do produce what you're producing, it's not going to be that good either because you're, you're already stressed out in a way and you don't have enough time to really make it good. But if you plan it out, then say, if you have something to do, like, like three weeks before something else is due. If you. Okay. Thanks. Have it basically done by the first week, then those rest of those two weeks are just fine. Fine tuning, making sure it's as good as it can be.

12:55 Even you can reach out to your professor or whomever and say, Oh, Hey, I have this done already. Can you please look at this and tell me if this is what you're looking for? You know, that, that type of stuff that I learned, that has been essential for, for me in my professional life because, because that's how I operate now. When I have something that's due, say, a week from now, I'm really trying to get it done, you know, two, like, two, three days in, and then I'm trying to get it over to my supervisor for them to review, you know, and then get other input by people, so by the time I get it actually officially done, I would have kind of covered all my bases and making sure that it's everything that it's supposed to be.

13:39 So that is, that's kind of that skill set that the real essential skill set that I learned. Um, but, um, but we're talking about leadership, right? So, so let me get back into. So, I'm going to fast, fast, fast forward. We'll press the fast forward button. Okay. Okay. We'll zip through a couple of years. Okay. Uh, and we'll get to the point, um, of, um, I was working for, um, a, uh, a managed care company and managed care means that, uh, we were basically, um, basically an insurance company.

14:20 Okay. Um, uh, and. I had the opportunity of moving into a management position. It was my first management, real official management position in my career that I ever had. And what was the difference between when you got that management position as compared to your other career experiences? So, uh, I will tell you, um, I've always thought that, you know, As someone who's worked under managers, of course, and you work with supervisors, you know, it can't be that hard.

15:02 You know, I mean, look, I'm seeing what they're doing. I mean, come on. All you do is just kind of tell people what to do for a little bit here and there. You know, you kind of look, you look at what you're supposed to turn in and then you turn that in. But, you know, it can't be that hard. You know, um, And of course you can already tell what the punchline is, like, man, it was hard, man. It was real hard. And the part that's hard is it's never about the work. Okay. Hardest part about management is always the people. And it's not that, and it's not that, um, uh, you know, it's not that people are bad or what it is is you, you have a goal.

15:53 And your job as a manager for the most part is to make sure that everyone else is kind of rowing in the same direction to get to that goal. So your key thing is getting everyone rowing in the same direction. And, but people are not, you know, it's not, uh, uh, what's the word? Um, uh. Monolithic. It's not like everyone's not all the same. No, no one is, uh, homo homogeneous. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. I understand. Like everyone is different and everyone has their own individual goals and everyone are, are working there for a different reason. Thank you for listening to the Healthy, wealthy and Wise podcast with Dr. William t Choctaw, md, jd. You can listen again to this in any of the previous episodes.

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