Holiday Harmony: Mastering the Art of Family Gatherings

1 00:00:01,180 --> 00:00:03,790 Welcome to the Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise podcast with Dr. 2 00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:04,410 William T. 3 00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:09,470 Choctaw, MD, JD, where the doctor helps you unlock your full potential by 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:14,320 equipping you with tools and knowledge in the areas of health, wealth, and wisdom. 5 00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:18,499 Anchored in his experience as a business executive, a physician 6 00:00:18,529 --> 00:00:23,410 surveyor for the joint commission, a former mayor, and over 50 years 7 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:25,279 of experience as a general surgeon. 8 00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:27,960 You've got questions, he's got answers. 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,279 So let's get started. 10 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:30,490 Here's Dr. 11 00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:31,020 William T. 12 00:00:34,510 --> 00:00:35,240 Good morning. 13 00:00:37,150 --> 00:00:40,110 Welcome to the leadership masterclass. 14 00:00:40,650 --> 00:00:43,890 Um today we have a very interesting topic. 15 00:00:44,559 --> 00:00:45,720 Uh what? 16 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,089 What we're going to talk about today and one of my favorite subjects is holiday 17 00:00:50,089 --> 00:00:56,220 stress, and so we're going to provide a little holiday therapy for you and 18 00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:59,900 for all our listeners out there today. 19 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:00,530 Next, please. 20 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,969 I believe life is about being of service to others. 21 00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,230 I believe knowledge is power. 22 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:10,270 I believe leaders can change the world and you notice that I have my 23 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:14,710 beliefs and I say it every single time I give any presentation. 24 00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:16,010 Why do I do that? 25 00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:19,330 I do that because it lets you know the why. 26 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,210 Behind what we're talking about. 27 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,750 Um, and what are the beliefs behind what we're talking about? 28 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,630 We're talking about service to others. 29 00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:32,060 Um, we're talking about knowledge and growing with that knowledge. 30 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:36,750 Um, and then we're talking about taking that knowledge and changing the world. 31 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:40,140 We can all agree that we don't necessarily like the way things 32 00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,310 are going on in the world. 33 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:42,650 So what are we going to do about it? 34 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:43,840 What are we going to do about it? 35 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,460 We can change it and we can change it by acquiring more knowledge. 36 00:01:48,130 --> 00:01:48,820 Next, please. 37 00:01:49,179 --> 00:01:52,989 Now, I always like to put up an outline and the purpose of the 38 00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:55,810 outline is sort of let you know what we're going to talk about. 39 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,210 Um, and to let you know what order we're going to talk about it. 40 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,929 And as importantly to let you know, when we're just about done. 41 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:09,550 So when we get down to mental exercises, then, you know, we're just about done. 42 00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:11,920 I am one of those time people. 43 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:14,339 And let me explain. 44 00:02:14,549 --> 00:02:15,549 I'm one of those people. 45 00:02:15,549 --> 00:02:19,239 If you tell me to be somewhere at 10, I'll get there at 930 46 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,299 because I don't want to be late. 47 00:02:20,775 --> 00:02:22,195 So I'm always early. 48 00:02:22,465 --> 00:02:24,115 Uh, I hate being late. 49 00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:30,095 Uh, so I, I have this thing about always respecting other people's time that you're 50 00:02:30,095 --> 00:02:32,415 just as busy if not busier than I am. 51 00:02:32,675 --> 00:02:35,175 So I always want to let you know what we're going to talk about. 52 00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:42,375 Um, so we're going to talk about, um, how we think about, um, um, 53 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:47,245 the holidays and we're going to talk about rules around gatherings 54 00:02:47,245 --> 00:02:50,065 with the family rules about guests. 55 00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:53,110 And then we'll end up with some mental exercises. 56 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:53,960 Next, please. 57 00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:58,715 This presentation is part of the masterclass series. 58 00:02:59,105 --> 00:03:04,414 Um, and let me sort of, um, take you back to how this started. 59 00:03:04,414 --> 00:03:07,565 Because today, this month is a very special month. 60 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:09,565 This is our one year anniversary. 61 00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:11,034 And quite honestly, 62 00:03:14,835 --> 00:03:15,885 The way this started. 63 00:03:15,935 --> 00:03:16,644 True story. 64 00:03:16,954 --> 00:03:19,285 I'm a member of the men's class. 65 00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:22,855 I under the tutelage of Robin Collins and Robin Nickens. 66 00:03:23,225 --> 00:03:26,055 And one day after class, I approached Robin Collins. 67 00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:28,174 This is doing the covert thing time. 68 00:03:28,495 --> 00:03:32,685 Uh, and we were in in Simpson Hall, different parts of the auditorium. 69 00:03:33,035 --> 00:03:36,545 And I said, Robin Collins, I have an idea about setting up a master class, 70 00:03:36,545 --> 00:03:37,645 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 71 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,515 And he said, that's a great idea. 72 00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:40,505 That's a great idea. 73 00:03:40,515 --> 00:03:42,615 He didn't even ask me about details. 74 00:03:42,905 --> 00:03:45,345 Um, and my point is, I share that story. 75 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:48,425 If he had said no, that would have been no masterclass. 76 00:03:48,765 --> 00:03:50,725 This whole year would not have occurred. 77 00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:53,204 But he immediately embraced it. 78 00:03:53,384 --> 00:03:58,174 I also presented it to Reverend Nickens, um, uh, one, one, one Saturday. 79 00:03:58,174 --> 00:04:00,524 There was an affair here at the church and we were talking about it. 80 00:04:00,765 --> 00:04:02,825 And he said to say, oh, so that's a great idea. 81 00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:03,685 It's a great idea. 82 00:04:04,024 --> 00:04:05,244 I mentioned it to. 83 00:04:05,505 --> 00:04:07,475 Uh, Robin Reeves is also great. 84 00:04:07,475 --> 00:04:08,285 I just great idea. 85 00:04:08,285 --> 00:04:16,205 So my point is, because of the support of many of our leaders here at church, 86 00:04:16,785 --> 00:04:21,734 we have all been able to experience this 12 months of leadership masterclass. 87 00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:23,165 And so I'm very grateful for that. 88 00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:24,465 Next slide, please. 89 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,685 So much of the. 90 00:04:27,135 --> 00:04:30,975 Uh, masterclass, all of the masterclass is based on my years of 91 00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:37,355 lessons learned more specifically, uh, my 50 years of medical practice. 92 00:04:37,635 --> 00:04:41,745 And these are things my patients have taught me that my patients have taught me. 93 00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:42,325 Yes. 94 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,745 I went to school, good school, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 95 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:48,165 But what I learned was school can only teach you so much. 96 00:04:48,794 --> 00:04:50,085 Could only teach you so much. 97 00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:57,785 My patients have taught me 50 years worth of, of advice and important issues. 98 00:04:57,974 --> 00:05:01,064 And these are some of the things that I'm going to share with you today. 99 00:05:01,445 --> 00:05:02,085 Next slide, please. 100 00:05:02,965 --> 00:05:08,234 So, personal note, this is my favorite holiday of the year 101 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:15,825 because Christmas, because Christmas is my birthday, my birthday. 102 00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:22,695 And it being when I was born, uh, a number of years ago, my mother told me I was 103 00:05:22,695 --> 00:05:25,545 special and my mother never lies to me. 104 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:32,120 And so . So when she told me I was, I believed her, I said, yes ma'am. 105 00:05:32,340 --> 00:05:32,840 Yes ma'am. 106 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:33,400 Yes ma'am. 107 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,875 I think people say, you know, brought on Christmas, you know, did you get like 108 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,585 one gift and that was for Christmas? 109 00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:40,880 No, I got two gifts. 110 00:05:41,595 --> 00:05:42,415 I got two gifts. 111 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,095 So I was not cheated on Christmas. 112 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,125 I was rewarded on Christmas. 113 00:05:46,665 --> 00:05:52,645 So, so my, my point very quickly is this is my favorite holiday, right? 114 00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:57,934 This is my favorite holiday next week, in addition to being my birthday. 115 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:04,190 So let, let me go back, take you back to one of the other presentations that we've 116 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:10,630 made and let me say that the masterclass is a combination of lecture on second 117 00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:13,350 Saturday in each month and podcasts. 118 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,920 So the masterclass occurs once a month, the podcasts occur once a week. 119 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,590 So the two are together, but we'll talk about that later. 120 00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:24,620 But one of the things that we talked about some months ago, when 121 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:25,989 we talked about mental health. 122 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,890 is that it is our beliefs that affect how we feel. 123 00:06:32,489 --> 00:06:33,260 Think about that. 124 00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:40,799 If I believe people who wear black shoes are bad people every time I 125 00:06:40,799 --> 00:06:44,649 see somebody with black shoes, I'm going to say, Oh, that's a bad person. 126 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:45,849 That's a bad person. 127 00:06:45,859 --> 00:06:46,579 That's a bad person. 128 00:06:46,599 --> 00:06:47,650 That's not true. 129 00:06:47,859 --> 00:06:48,999 That's just my belief. 130 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,140 What's my point? 131 00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:54,950 My, my, my point is it if you're going through life and you're not happy, 132 00:06:55,320 --> 00:07:00,840 or if you're always uncomfortable, if you're always suspicious, if, if, if 133 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:05,979 you always think the worst of what's going on, go back and evaluate what 134 00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:10,450 your beliefs are and ask yourself, well, why did those beliefs come from? 135 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,950 Did something happen to me when I was a kid? 136 00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:14,700 Did somebody tell me? 137 00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:17,290 And reevaluate those beliefs. 138 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:21,020 And many times what you will find out is those beliefs are not true. 139 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,040 Here's my point. 140 00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:25,190 You can change them because they belong to you. 141 00:07:25,409 --> 00:07:25,819 Right? 142 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:29,790 So my point is our beliefs affect how we think. 143 00:07:30,119 --> 00:07:32,460 Think about people who are walking down the street. 144 00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:36,770 They see somebody across the street or somebody is coming toward them, say, 145 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:42,375 maybe of a different race, And they sort of move over to the side because 146 00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,945 they're a little uncomfortable and they don't know whether this person 147 00:07:44,945 --> 00:07:46,775 is going to rob them or whatever. 148 00:07:46,995 --> 00:07:49,195 Our beliefs affect how we think. 149 00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,685 Doesn't mean that the beliefs are right, it's just they're our beliefs. 150 00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:55,915 How we think affects how we feel. 151 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,924 Have you ever talked to people? 152 00:07:58,155 --> 00:07:59,155 who were never happy. 153 00:07:59,165 --> 00:08:00,485 You said, well, how are you doing? 154 00:08:00,675 --> 00:08:01,505 So, oh, it's terrible. 155 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,895 Then they tell you all the bad things about why it's terrible. 156 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:09,105 Uh, and it doesn't matter because they will always think that things are bad. 157 00:08:09,764 --> 00:08:15,034 So, my point very simply is, if you're one of those people who's always miserable, 158 00:08:15,765 --> 00:08:20,575 nothing is never good, there's always a problem, go back to your belief system. 159 00:08:20,784 --> 00:08:23,494 Go back to your belief system and ask yourself, well, 160 00:08:23,515 --> 00:08:25,015 why, why do I feel this way? 161 00:08:25,044 --> 00:08:27,384 You know, why am I not happy? 162 00:08:27,384 --> 00:08:30,730 Like, You know, John or somebody else. 163 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,180 Why am I always miserable? 164 00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:35,510 Many times that is within your control. 165 00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:38,110 It is not that people are doing things to you. 166 00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,780 Nobody is doing anything to you. 167 00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,550 It is what you perceive. 168 00:08:42,145 --> 00:08:42,605 Okay. 169 00:08:42,975 --> 00:08:46,325 Matter of fact, I would argue it doesn't matter what people do to you. 170 00:08:46,445 --> 00:08:47,915 It's what you perceive. 171 00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,545 And we'll talk about that later. 172 00:08:49,545 --> 00:08:53,595 So to summarize, what I'm trying to say is our beliefs affect how we 173 00:08:53,624 --> 00:08:59,704 think, how we think affect how we feel, how we feel affect how we act. 174 00:09:00,555 --> 00:09:02,585 Have you ever seen people who are always acting up? 175 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:10,280 That's a reason for that because they feel a certain way they either feel 176 00:09:10,319 --> 00:09:12,409 paranoid or they feel uncomfortable. 177 00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:15,020 They feel upset or whatever, whatever, whatever. 178 00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:19,369 I can go on and on and on, but it's based on certain thoughts, right? 179 00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:24,560 And those thoughts are based on certain beliefs and those beliefs may not be true. 180 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,410 My point very simply is you can change that. 181 00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:29,560 Give an example. 182 00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,180 I have a fear of heights. 183 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:36,329 I am not one of those people you want to take to the Grand Canyon or where I know. 184 00:09:36,349 --> 00:09:37,810 No, I'm not one of those people. 185 00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:40,390 Now, I might add my wife is very opposite. 186 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,150 My wife will go up to the Grand Canyon and even jump off. 187 00:09:44,379 --> 00:09:47,609 I mean, she's braver than I am, but I am afraid of heights. 188 00:09:47,839 --> 00:09:51,719 So if you want me to go, I'll give you, I'll give you a classic example. 189 00:09:51,719 --> 00:09:55,099 I've used this example before, you know, downtown Los Angeles has a 190 00:09:55,109 --> 00:09:56,459 building called the Bonaventure. 191 00:09:56,609 --> 00:09:56,879 Okay. 192 00:09:57,270 --> 00:09:59,569 You go down to the Bonaventure and when you get into the 193 00:09:59,579 --> 00:10:01,380 elevator, it's a glass elevator. 194 00:10:01,995 --> 00:10:03,925 Bonaventure is very tall, right? 195 00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:08,285 So when I get to the Bonaventure, I do not look out the window. 196 00:10:08,505 --> 00:10:09,185 Does that make sense? 197 00:10:09,545 --> 00:10:11,595 You know, I, I turn my back to the window. 198 00:10:11,614 --> 00:10:12,675 I look at the door. 199 00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:18,545 My best friend, who loves to give me a hard time, would say, Oh, look at that. 200 00:10:18,555 --> 00:10:18,825 Look at that. 201 00:10:21,395 --> 00:10:22,095 Look at that. 202 00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:23,135 Oh, you just missed it. 203 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:24,045 You just missed it. 204 00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:26,345 So my point is. 205 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:30,910 Now, there's nothing bad that's going to happen to me by being in the Bonaventure. 206 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:32,270 That's just how I think. 207 00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:36,629 Now, I don't know when I first became afraid of heights or whatever, but 208 00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:38,469 my point is, I can change that. 209 00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,240 I can change that. 210 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:44,239 And many times, individuals who are afraid of flying, who are afraid of heights, or 211 00:10:44,239 --> 00:10:48,300 whatever, whatever, we call them neuroses, not psychosis, that's a different 212 00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,530 issue, but they're relatively mild. 213 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,900 Usually, a psychologist or psychiatrist can work with them. 214 00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:59,280 And change a lot of those fears or anxieties, we call them, but my point 215 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:03,679 is it really is all in your head when people say, Oh, that's just it. 216 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,439 Yeah, it is all in your head. 217 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:06,239 Okay. 218 00:11:06,509 --> 00:11:08,170 My point is you can change it. 219 00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:09,420 You can change it. 220 00:11:09,689 --> 00:11:13,099 And that's the point I want to get want to get across that. 221 00:11:13,109 --> 00:11:16,149 In effect, I am in control of me. 222 00:11:16,369 --> 00:11:18,469 I am in control of my happiness. 223 00:11:18,999 --> 00:11:20,760 I am in control how I feel. 224 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,910 I can't blame that on somebody else, but why don't you make me happy? 225 00:11:24,189 --> 00:11:26,140 No, I have to make myself happy. 226 00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,619 You can't make me happy. 227 00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:32,479 If I don't want to be happy because my mind will always be in control. 228 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,429 So my point is we are in control of ourselves. 229 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:39,499 And if we don't like what's going on with us, change it. 230 00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:41,035 Change it. 231 00:11:41,455 --> 00:11:43,015 Nobody else can but you. 232 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,055 Okay, next slide, please. 233 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,135 So, a little anatomy here. 234 00:11:47,344 --> 00:11:48,814 Uh, this is a picture of the brain. 235 00:11:48,814 --> 00:11:50,604 These are the different parts of the brain. 236 00:11:50,854 --> 00:11:54,024 I want you to concentrate on the red area, what we call the prefrontal 237 00:11:54,064 --> 00:11:55,604 cortex, or the frontal lobe. 238 00:11:56,275 --> 00:12:00,584 I, I, I, analogize this to, uh, if you're flying in an airplane, 239 00:12:00,584 --> 00:12:02,175 this is where the pilots would sit. 240 00:12:02,545 --> 00:12:05,555 Remember, they sit in the front of the airplane, up high. 241 00:12:05,865 --> 00:12:08,275 Uh, I call the prefrontal area. 242 00:12:08,714 --> 00:12:10,844 This is where our memory is. 243 00:12:10,844 --> 00:12:13,155 This is where our thoughts are. 244 00:12:13,445 --> 00:12:18,425 This is where our beliefs are, and this is what we control as human beings. 245 00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:20,045 This is what we control. 246 00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:25,444 So your, you control your brain, your control, your brain controls, how 247 00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:30,094 you think, what you believe, how you feel, and ultimately how you act. 248 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:30,755 Okay? 249 00:12:31,705 --> 00:12:35,975 I used to say many times when I was growing up, uh, or particularly 250 00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:39,185 in college, educate me and you can change my behavior. 251 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,870 If you don't like the way I'm acting, educate me, educate me, put a book in 252 00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:49,669 my hand, send, send, send me to a class or, or a treat or sit down and teach 253 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:54,070 me, you know, read beside me, educate me and you can change my behavior. 254 00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:55,669 But my point is. 255 00:12:56,065 --> 00:13:01,165 We're in control of this prefrontal lobe, prefrontal contacts in the frontal lobe. 256 00:13:01,565 --> 00:13:03,065 This is where our memory is. 257 00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:04,625 This is where our thoughts are. 258 00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:07,225 Um, and so we control those thoughts. 259 00:13:07,225 --> 00:13:08,045 Next slide, please. 260 00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:11,785 The bottom line, particularly about the holiday season. 261 00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:13,535 Uh, it's to stay positive. 262 00:13:14,005 --> 00:13:15,455 Why do I say stay positive? 263 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,615 I mentioned earlier that my birthday was on Christmas and 264 00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:20,135 this is my favorite holiday. 265 00:13:20,405 --> 00:13:23,425 And I love the Christmas season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever. 266 00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:26,535 But what I learned from my patients, a lot of people hate it. 267 00:13:26,545 --> 00:13:28,104 A lot of people do not love it. 268 00:13:28,615 --> 00:13:28,884 Do it. 269 00:13:28,885 --> 00:13:30,195 It stresses them out. 270 00:13:30,515 --> 00:13:33,965 Um, something bad happened maybe five or 10 years ago. 271 00:13:33,965 --> 00:13:34,965 They remember it. 272 00:13:35,474 --> 00:13:39,365 And every time that season comes back around out, those feelings 273 00:13:39,365 --> 00:13:41,314 of concern come back up again. 274 00:13:41,915 --> 00:13:46,645 So, so my, my point is, enjoy the holidays, but be respectful. 275 00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:50,425 And and appreciate the fact that everybody may not feel the 276 00:13:50,425 --> 00:13:50,615 way 277 00:13:50,615 --> 00:13:53,005 Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD: you feel and that that's okay. 278 00:13:53,555 --> 00:13:54,155 That's okay. 279 00:13:54,155 --> 00:13:55,735 People can feel however they want to feel. 280 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,465 Whatever works for them is is okay. 281 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:03,275 But because we are our brother's keeper, we are our sister's keeper. 282 00:14:03,665 --> 00:14:05,005 We want to stay positive. 283 00:14:05,015 --> 00:14:10,555 We want to make sure that we're not the reason for people to have a bad 284 00:14:10,555 --> 00:14:15,325 time or the bad experience that we want to be that that that shine and light. 285 00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:18,660 Uh, that that that helps to make people feel better. 286 00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:19,660 Next slide, please. 287 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,010 So some some basic and I'll call them Dr. 288 00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,010 Choctaw rules. 289 00:14:25,290 --> 00:14:28,810 When you get together with friends and family or coworkers or whoever, 290 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,260 avoid political disagreements. 291 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:37,010 Okay, if you want to have a nice time and not get into arguments 292 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:40,309 and people fussing and fighting, try to stay away from politics. 293 00:14:40,309 --> 00:14:41,510 Now, this is not new. 294 00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:47,420 We've all been told, you know, avoid discussions about politics and religion, 295 00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,680 you know, so you don't get into fights and everybody's happy, whatever, but 296 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,140 particularly during the holidays. 297 00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:55,370 And partly because there's a lot going on in the world. 298 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,810 There's a lot going on in the world. 299 00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:01,290 If you do have those discussions, again, be respectful. 300 00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:03,390 Doesn't mean everybody have to agree with you. 301 00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:08,629 Um, I would even go back to the, to the men's class and, and, uh, God bless 302 00:15:08,629 --> 00:15:12,840 Robin Collins, but sometimes we get into discussions in the men's class and he has 303 00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:15,385 to sort of stand up and Calm the waters. 304 00:15:15,385 --> 00:15:20,735 And then we all, we all sort of sit down and then we're okay. 305 00:15:23,905 --> 00:15:25,044 And he knows what I'm talking about. 306 00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,185 I'm not going into detail. 307 00:15:27,415 --> 00:15:32,795 But my point is during the holidays where you want to have a nice time and 308 00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:34,714 you want to, you want it to be positive. 309 00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:36,155 You be the leader. 310 00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:37,814 Don't expect anybody else to do it. 311 00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:38,334 You do it. 312 00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:39,125 You do it. 313 00:15:39,385 --> 00:15:42,195 Uh, you, you, you be the lead and leaders go out front. 314 00:15:42,629 --> 00:15:43,079 Okay. 315 00:15:43,139 --> 00:15:44,649 That's the difference between leaders and followers. 316 00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:45,550 Followers follow. 317 00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:46,639 Leaders go out front. 318 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,030 Leaders go out front. 319 00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:51,110 And so be, be, be the leader with that and go out front. 320 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,160 Next slide, please. 321 00:15:52,719 --> 00:16:00,420 So, let me go over one, one, one of my favorite issues about, um, um, Christmas. 322 00:16:01,299 --> 00:16:04,609 The financial stress of gift giving. 323 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,650 Now, if you. 324 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:13,550 I'm born with a silver spoon in your mouth, and you have always had, um, uh, 325 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,620 well, there's not a problem for you. 326 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,880 So you, you can just close your ears at this point, 327 00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:19,330 because I'm not talking to you. 328 00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:20,369 All right. 329 00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:25,689 But if you're like most of us, and, and you do have to decide the left hand or the 330 00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:30,772 right hand or however you want to do it, Christmas time can be extremely stressful. 331 00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:37,579 I can remember in, in, in my school, um, Nashville, uh, we used to give gifts. 332 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:41,780 Among among the classes, I didn't have anything to give gifts, 333 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,190 you know, to my fellow class. 334 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,150 I was, I was a foster kid from one foster home to another 335 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,080 very stressful time for me. 336 00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:55,469 And my point is that even among families, um, many times we feel like, 337 00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:57,319 oh, so and so got me this last year. 338 00:16:57,319 --> 00:16:59,280 So I need to get something bigger for them this year. 339 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:00,219 Don't do that. 340 00:17:00,349 --> 00:17:00,740 Don't do it. 341 00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:01,810 It's not necessary. 342 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,110 It's not necessary. 343 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,210 Um, yeah. 344 00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:09,750 Give yourself permission should you choose to opt out of gift giving. 345 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:10,300 It's okay. 346 00:17:11,109 --> 00:17:12,089 Just say, you know what? 347 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:16,380 2023, I just decided, you know, I love you. 348 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,220 I really do love you, but I just decided I'm just not going to 349 00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:20,540 do the gift thing this year. 350 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,369 I'm just, I'm just not going to do that. 351 00:17:22,739 --> 00:17:23,169 Okay? 352 00:17:23,749 --> 00:17:28,569 And, and, and you don't have to go over, you don't have to explain why a lot. 353 00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:32,220 Just say, I just decided, you know, not, not to do this year. 354 00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:36,070 The ones who love you and care about you will be okay with that. 355 00:17:36,399 --> 00:17:38,925 The ones who don't, um, You don't have to worry about them. 356 00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:39,895 Okay. 357 00:17:40,215 --> 00:17:40,955 Does that make sense? 358 00:17:41,775 --> 00:17:43,255 And what's my point? 359 00:17:43,735 --> 00:17:46,555 You will be amazed at the stress. 360 00:17:47,415 --> 00:17:52,995 That folks undergo about spending money and particularly when it has 361 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,445 to do with being like everybody else. 362 00:17:55,445 --> 00:17:57,645 And so they don't stand out, whatever. 363 00:17:57,855 --> 00:18:01,334 Again, if you've never been poor, you have no idea what I'm talking about. 364 00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:04,475 But those of you who have, you know what I'm talking about. 365 00:18:04,695 --> 00:18:05,855 And it's not a good feeling. 366 00:18:05,924 --> 00:18:09,275 And my point is, it doesn't have to be that way. 367 00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:13,175 Celebrate being together, not about spending money, but 368 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,565 just about being together. 369 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:20,970 But for the grace of God, we are alive today, and we're able to stand 370 00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,590 and sing, et cetera, et cetera. 371 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:25,260 So just make it about that. 372 00:18:25,925 --> 00:18:26,195 Next. 373 00:18:26,395 --> 00:18:28,425 So, so you have my permission. 374 00:18:29,814 --> 00:18:34,254 If you decide not to give a gift and somebody gets mad at you and 375 00:18:34,254 --> 00:18:39,375 say, well, you know, I went to one of those masterclass and Dr Chaka 376 00:18:39,415 --> 00:18:40,675 said I don't have to give a gift. 377 00:18:40,675 --> 00:18:43,105 So I decided not to. 378 00:18:43,105 --> 00:18:45,264 So you can blame me. 379 00:18:45,304 --> 00:18:45,995 It's okay. 380 00:18:46,044 --> 00:18:47,324 I don't mind that. 381 00:18:48,274 --> 00:18:53,725 Another point as you get with family and or friends That may very well 382 00:18:53,735 --> 00:18:57,635 be different people in that group who don't believe what you believe. 383 00:18:58,465 --> 00:18:59,935 Be respectful of that. 384 00:19:00,065 --> 00:19:00,895 Be respectful. 385 00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:04,685 Not saying you have to agree with them and not saying you change anything, 386 00:19:05,325 --> 00:19:07,485 but just be respectful, number one. 387 00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:08,974 Number two, be honest. 388 00:19:09,655 --> 00:19:12,225 You know, I believe blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 389 00:19:12,364 --> 00:19:14,985 Honestly, you know, no problem with that. 390 00:19:16,095 --> 00:19:21,205 If possible, abort arguments, mainly because if you have an argument, 391 00:19:21,404 --> 00:19:24,384 you aren't going to change anybody's opinion because if you're yelling and 392 00:19:24,384 --> 00:19:28,334 screaming at me, you certainly aren't going to convert me if that's your goal. 393 00:19:28,644 --> 00:19:32,954 Um, but on the other hand, if you're respectful with me and you 394 00:19:32,955 --> 00:19:36,785 have a conversation with me and you educate me and blah, blah, 395 00:19:36,785 --> 00:19:40,504 blah, and show me some things that I may be more open to listening 396 00:19:40,504 --> 00:19:41,895 to what you're trying to tell me. 397 00:19:42,195 --> 00:19:45,665 But just, just some general, some general rules, okay? 398 00:19:46,325 --> 00:19:47,145 Next slide, please. 399 00:19:47,325 --> 00:19:53,004 Remember in social gatherings, and this is one of my favorite things. 400 00:19:53,205 --> 00:20:01,644 There are two basic general types of people, two categories, and you all know 401 00:20:01,644 --> 00:20:03,194 this, but I'll just go over it anyway. 402 00:20:03,634 --> 00:20:05,009 They are introverts, introverts, and introverts. 403 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,940 And there are extroverts. 404 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:07,750 Okay. 405 00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:11,990 So if you're at a family gathering and you have a party with your family and 406 00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:17,550 there are people who are, um, um, uh, putting caps on their heads and jumping 407 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:23,529 on the table and seeing an old anxiety, you may not be one of those people 408 00:20:25,019 --> 00:20:31,129 who's sitting up against the wall by yourself, uh, with your arms folded. 409 00:20:31,615 --> 00:20:33,125 And you're listening and watching. 410 00:20:33,345 --> 00:20:35,095 It doesn't mean you're not enjoying it. 411 00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:40,625 My point is, everybody's not going to jump on the table and sing Auld Lang Syne. 412 00:20:40,895 --> 00:20:46,605 Some people will enjoy the party just as well by sitting and listening. 413 00:20:47,134 --> 00:20:50,284 And, and a lot of times we have this tendency to believe, Well, if you 414 00:20:50,284 --> 00:20:53,545 aren't doing it the way I'm doing it, there must be something wrong with you. 415 00:20:53,555 --> 00:20:54,575 Well, that's not true. 416 00:20:55,475 --> 00:20:58,554 God in his infinite wisdom made us different. 417 00:20:59,365 --> 00:21:03,794 Uh, and it's that difference that I think that diversity that gives us our 418 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:08,484 strength and our specialness, but I put it be respectful of those folks who 419 00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:10,534 don't celebrate the way you celebrate. 420 00:21:10,964 --> 00:21:11,735 It's okay. 421 00:21:12,234 --> 00:21:16,314 And if you're one of those people who just sits and listens, don't feel 422 00:21:16,324 --> 00:21:17,964 like you have to explain anything. 423 00:21:17,974 --> 00:21:18,414 You don't. 424 00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:20,870 You don't have to explain anything then about it. 425 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:25,330 You know who you are and who's you are, uh, you know, but if, 426 00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:27,560 if you're one of those actually, because usually experts are the 427 00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:29,030 ones that run around grabbing folks. 428 00:21:29,060 --> 00:21:30,500 Oh, come on, come on, give me this, that. 429 00:21:30,799 --> 00:21:35,619 But if you're one of those people, just take a breath, take a breath. 430 00:21:36,070 --> 00:21:41,260 And, and if at your first Nonverbal communication with this person, 431 00:21:41,699 --> 00:21:43,790 you're sort of getting the feeling that they don't want to go. 432 00:21:43,919 --> 00:21:45,660 Don't push it is my point. 433 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,560 Don't push it because even if you make them go, they are going to enjoy 434 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,730 it because they don't want to do it. 435 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,189 Right, right. 436 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,620 Now, it may very well be that after a period of time, they may say, you 437 00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:57,449 know what, maybe I will come over. 438 00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:58,720 You know, how do I get there? 439 00:21:58,919 --> 00:21:59,810 Then that's okay. 440 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:03,049 But again, it goes back to the basic principle of being 441 00:22:03,049 --> 00:22:05,210 respectful, being respectful. 442 00:22:05,429 --> 00:22:08,080 Everybody is not an extrovert. 443 00:22:08,329 --> 00:22:10,080 Everybody doesn't do backflips. 444 00:22:11,070 --> 00:22:15,765 They don't, um, speaking by, I'm an introvert. 445 00:22:16,405 --> 00:22:17,405 I am not an introvert. 446 00:22:17,585 --> 00:22:17,805 I'm, 447 00:22:36,145 --> 00:22:38,080 but, but just, just be respectful. 448 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:39,550 Next slide, please. 449 00:22:41,379 --> 00:22:43,110 Okay, sensitive topic. 450 00:22:43,110 --> 00:22:44,409 I'm going to go there anyway. 451 00:22:45,419 --> 00:22:46,610 We all know. 452 00:22:46,689 --> 00:22:47,750 We all know. 453 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,199 Okay, family. 454 00:22:49,199 --> 00:22:51,050 Now, family gets together. 455 00:22:51,050 --> 00:22:55,909 There's always one or two, but at least one in the family who's 456 00:22:55,909 --> 00:22:57,149 not going to follow the rules. 457 00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:58,390 We know this. 458 00:22:58,390 --> 00:23:03,590 He may be that uncle or that aunt or whoever, but there's always one. 459 00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:08,000 These are my, my personal approaches and I share them with you. 460 00:23:08,769 --> 00:23:13,909 Uh, now this one person at the group gathering, particularly after a 461 00:23:13,909 --> 00:23:17,850 while, after they've been drinking, let's, let's Stay the way it is. 462 00:23:18,090 --> 00:23:22,250 Um, one of the reasons why I don't drink and I recommend others not 463 00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:26,629 drink is that alcohol does bad things to you on multiple levels. 464 00:23:26,759 --> 00:23:28,449 But I'll just start with the mind. 465 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,309 It does things with your mind so that you either do or say things that 466 00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,139 you wouldn't ordinarily do or say. 467 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,759 And, you know, if you've had friends who've gone through, 468 00:23:36,819 --> 00:23:38,030 they'll tell you the next day. 469 00:23:38,030 --> 00:23:38,800 Oh, my God. 470 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,419 What did I do? 471 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:41,030 What did I say? 472 00:23:41,030 --> 00:23:41,669 What did I say? 473 00:23:41,919 --> 00:23:42,560 True story. 474 00:23:43,425 --> 00:23:47,065 When I joined, when I was in college, I went to Tennessee State University, 475 00:23:47,485 --> 00:23:52,785 favorite HBCU, I might add, uh, and I joined a fraternity, Alpha 476 00:23:52,785 --> 00:23:54,124 Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated. 477 00:23:54,125 --> 00:23:59,875 Matter of fact, we just celebrated our 117th anniversary, founded 478 00:23:59,875 --> 00:24:02,554 in 1906 at Cornell University. 479 00:24:02,955 --> 00:24:04,844 But I digress, I digress. 480 00:24:05,234 --> 00:24:09,770 Uh, but But, but one of the things I, you know, and I told my brothers, I 481 00:24:09,770 --> 00:24:11,840 said, I don't drink, that's just me. 482 00:24:12,219 --> 00:24:14,620 And of course, they would give me a hard time about this and that, 483 00:24:14,730 --> 00:24:16,509 but I said, I just don't do it. 484 00:24:16,909 --> 00:24:21,500 Um, and, and, and they, they would tease me to no end about it. 485 00:24:22,049 --> 00:24:28,959 But after about six months or a year, when we would go to a, uh, let's say a social 486 00:24:28,959 --> 00:24:34,290 gathering, When we would go to a social gathering, they would come up to me and 487 00:24:34,290 --> 00:24:40,099 they say, chalk talk, you know, I'm sure I'm going to do X, Y, Z tonight, uh, could 488 00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:41,770 you, could you keep my wallet for me? 489 00:24:42,629 --> 00:24:44,589 Cause I, I don't want anybody to steal it. 490 00:24:44,770 --> 00:24:46,909 And could you get my car keys for me? 491 00:24:46,910 --> 00:24:48,409 Because I don't want to lose them. 492 00:24:48,589 --> 00:24:51,679 And what I figured out, what happened was that in spite of 493 00:24:51,689 --> 00:24:54,609 the fact that they gave me a hard time, they respected my position. 494 00:24:54,984 --> 00:24:55,444 Amen. 495 00:24:55,564 --> 00:25:00,024 I'm still, I was still, you know, a strong brother in the fraternity, 496 00:25:00,304 --> 00:25:04,294 uh, and they recognized that they needed help because they were going to 497 00:25:04,494 --> 00:25:09,574 purposely put themselves in a situation where they were not in control. 498 00:25:10,174 --> 00:25:13,354 And my whole thing is why in the world would I want to do that for 499 00:25:13,384 --> 00:25:17,605 any reason, for any reason, not that I'm a controller, but I am. 500 00:25:19,634 --> 00:25:20,685 That's why I was searching. 501 00:25:23,694 --> 00:25:24,714 So my point is. 502 00:25:25,194 --> 00:25:31,875 Uh, you do not have to go along with the group just because the group is 503 00:25:31,875 --> 00:25:34,145 doing it just because you're afraid. 504 00:25:34,145 --> 00:25:35,364 He said, Well, what's wrong with you? 505 00:25:35,364 --> 00:25:36,685 And who do you think you are? 506 00:25:36,685 --> 00:25:38,464 And you think you better than us? 507 00:25:38,464 --> 00:25:41,375 And I remember when you were blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 508 00:25:41,664 --> 00:25:43,394 Now you are ignore all that. 509 00:25:43,394 --> 00:25:45,414 Just just pray for just just pray for him. 510 00:25:45,424 --> 00:25:46,204 Just pray for him. 511 00:25:46,554 --> 00:25:53,284 Um, Uh, but remember that as people start imbibing more and more and more, 512 00:25:53,484 --> 00:25:55,665 they start losing that natural self. 513 00:25:56,084 --> 00:25:59,484 You know, they're going to start getting loud and laughing more and 514 00:25:59,484 --> 00:26:01,314 screaming more and blah, blah, blah. 515 00:26:01,654 --> 00:26:04,565 Uh, many times they can get annoying depending on how large 516 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:06,504 the, the, the, the group is. 517 00:26:06,904 --> 00:26:10,264 Uh, many times they can get a bit aggressive, male, female, 518 00:26:10,295 --> 00:26:11,714 female, male, et cetera. 519 00:26:12,114 --> 00:26:16,989 Um, Um, and so, you know, just try to avoid them if you can, but 520 00:26:16,989 --> 00:26:18,580 if not, prepare to leave early. 521 00:26:19,060 --> 00:26:25,889 Say, thank you so much, love the food, God bless you, gotta go, or whatever, 522 00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,509 whatever terms that you want to use. 523 00:26:28,830 --> 00:26:32,529 And one of the things that I like to say, and this is just me, I don't 524 00:26:32,539 --> 00:26:34,179 think there is a middle ground here. 525 00:26:34,549 --> 00:26:36,159 If you permit it, you promote it. 526 00:26:37,034 --> 00:26:38,315 You know, that's just me. 527 00:26:38,324 --> 00:26:39,984 If you permit it, you promote it. 528 00:26:40,395 --> 00:26:43,804 You know, if you, you're a participant and blah, blah, blah, and say, well, 529 00:26:43,804 --> 00:26:46,335 I'm just doing it because it's the holidays and whatever, whatever. 530 00:26:46,625 --> 00:26:49,775 Well, you know, I, I just don't agree, but that, that's just me. 531 00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:56,124 So just be aware that there will be that person at your gathering. 532 00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:59,354 There will probably be at least one, and there may be more than one. 533 00:26:59,754 --> 00:27:01,274 Just have a plan, is my point. 534 00:27:01,784 --> 00:27:04,734 Just have a plan, um, you don't have to be rude, you don't have 535 00:27:04,734 --> 00:27:09,364 to be mean, just say yeah, I'm sorry, uh, time, time, time to go. 536 00:27:09,534 --> 00:27:10,314 Next slide please. 537 00:27:10,504 --> 00:27:14,544 Another one of my favorite topics, because I think this is a topic that is not 538 00:27:14,564 --> 00:27:21,434 nearly addressed as much, both medically and non medically, is how we deal with, 539 00:27:21,624 --> 00:27:24,364 uh, those who are older around us. 540 00:27:25,024 --> 00:27:27,714 They, they, family, friends, church members, et cetera. 541 00:27:28,245 --> 00:27:30,094 Many times we don't understand them. 542 00:27:30,404 --> 00:27:34,034 And so we tend not to be as patient with them as we should. 543 00:27:34,545 --> 00:27:35,295 And we say, Oh, Mrs. 544 00:27:35,295 --> 00:27:36,514 So and so is so mean. 545 00:27:36,525 --> 00:27:37,614 You know, or Mrs. 546 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:38,965 So and so is so mean, or whatever. 547 00:27:39,315 --> 00:27:44,344 If they are over 70 or 80 or whatever years of age, and I've even said 548 00:27:44,645 --> 00:27:48,334 65 and older, um, things change. 549 00:27:48,944 --> 00:27:52,125 Things change in terms of, of, of how people think. 550 00:27:52,725 --> 00:27:55,145 Things change in terms of people's attitude. 551 00:27:55,589 --> 00:27:59,230 Things change in terms of how people interreact with others and 552 00:27:59,230 --> 00:28:01,060 a lot of times as we get older. 553 00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:05,750 This is leaving aside medical conditions now like Dementia and 554 00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,480 Alzheimer's and all that sort of thing. 555 00:28:08,109 --> 00:28:09,359 Just be aware of that. 556 00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:13,380 Just remember that older patients Older people present with different 557 00:28:13,389 --> 00:28:15,970 symptoms than younger people when they're, when they become 558 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,929 ill, they may be on medication. 559 00:28:17,929 --> 00:28:19,510 They may need to take their medication. 560 00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:23,499 A lot of times if they're at a gathering, excuse me, they may 561 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,420 forget to take their medication. 562 00:28:25,939 --> 00:28:28,969 Older people many times have reduced energy reserves. 563 00:28:29,239 --> 00:28:31,859 They may be, they may be some of those people who are sitting on 564 00:28:31,859 --> 00:28:34,179 the side watching everybody else. 565 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,920 Don't necessarily think that you have to go and grab them and pull 566 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,389 them to the center of the circle. 567 00:28:41,630 --> 00:28:45,739 If they say no, except no, you know, don't make them have 568 00:28:45,739 --> 00:28:47,359 to say it two or three times. 569 00:28:47,620 --> 00:28:49,239 You know, no, I don't want to. 570 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,289 I don't want to dance. 571 00:28:50,289 --> 00:28:51,600 No, I don't want to whatever, whatever. 572 00:28:51,929 --> 00:28:53,169 Be respectful. 573 00:28:54,830 --> 00:29:01,699 Remember that as you get older, cognition, which is thinking, slows, slows. 574 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,179 So if you're trying to communicate with them and there's a lot of 575 00:29:04,179 --> 00:29:07,879 noise and there's a lot of crowd, whatever, whatever, be more direct 576 00:29:08,239 --> 00:29:10,609 and be and speak more slowly. 577 00:29:10,630 --> 00:29:12,109 Many times you have to repeat it. 578 00:29:12,549 --> 00:29:14,240 They're not being rude to you. 579 00:29:14,259 --> 00:29:16,749 They just don't understand what you're trying to say to them. 580 00:29:17,214 --> 00:29:18,915 So, so be aware of that. 581 00:29:19,435 --> 00:29:23,304 Be aware that musculoskeletal systems in the elderly is less flexible. 582 00:29:23,634 --> 00:29:27,264 Eyesight and hearing change, falls are common. 583 00:29:27,795 --> 00:29:30,584 If there are a lot of people running around, particularly little kids running 584 00:29:30,594 --> 00:29:35,754 around, people going upstairs, downstairs, be aware that if you've got that elderly 585 00:29:35,784 --> 00:29:41,645 person in your, in your midst, That you need to pay special attention to them. 586 00:29:42,145 --> 00:29:45,585 Um, uh, just just just to be a good host or good hostess. 587 00:29:46,065 --> 00:29:50,484 Um, many times, elderly folks may seem to be disinterested. 588 00:29:50,834 --> 00:29:53,594 A lot of times they they're not hearing everything. 589 00:29:53,794 --> 00:29:55,574 So they don't really know what's going on. 590 00:29:56,114 --> 00:29:58,484 Um, look for signs of depression. 591 00:29:58,990 --> 00:30:03,840 among the elderly, particularly if they have lost a life partner 592 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,030 recently last six months last year. 593 00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:11,360 And maybe this is the first Christmas that they are by themselves. 594 00:30:11,699 --> 00:30:15,300 It's a big deal for them and not on them for anybody. 595 00:30:15,639 --> 00:30:19,420 And it's just one thing to keep in mind as we celebrate the Christmas season. 596 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:24,520 This season may be a lot different for a lot of people than last Christmas. 597 00:30:25,095 --> 00:30:27,015 And we just need to be aware of that. 598 00:30:28,775 --> 00:30:32,675 One of the things I like to recommend, particularly with gatherings of the 599 00:30:32,675 --> 00:30:38,445 family, is to assign a member of the family to the most elderly person there. 600 00:30:39,135 --> 00:30:39,905 Trust me on this. 601 00:30:40,135 --> 00:30:42,645 Teenagers and pre teens love this. 602 00:30:43,184 --> 00:30:46,185 If you go to little Johnny and say, you know what, I want you to sit with 603 00:30:46,195 --> 00:30:49,765 Grandma, and whatever she wants, I want you to make sure she gets it. 604 00:30:50,145 --> 00:30:54,255 You know, and if she has any issues, you come and tell me the kid will love 605 00:30:54,255 --> 00:30:58,645 that because now you've given him or her responsibility, you know, usually 606 00:30:59,025 --> 00:31:00,725 most folks like their grandparents. 607 00:31:00,955 --> 00:31:01,255 Come on. 608 00:31:01,715 --> 00:31:02,665 I'm a grandparent. 609 00:31:02,705 --> 00:31:02,995 Come on. 610 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:05,035 We're the ones they like. 611 00:31:05,205 --> 00:31:06,654 They may not like mom and dad. 612 00:31:07,445 --> 00:31:08,685 They like their grandparents. 613 00:31:08,715 --> 00:31:09,175 All right. 614 00:31:09,445 --> 00:31:15,025 So I assigned them to the grandparents or maybe it's a grand aunt or 615 00:31:15,025 --> 00:31:19,845 somebody, but that that way you engage them in what's going on. 616 00:31:20,555 --> 00:31:24,814 This is particularly true if you were in a gathering where there 617 00:31:24,815 --> 00:31:26,184 are multiple languages spoken. 618 00:31:26,715 --> 00:31:29,625 Okay, let's say Spanish, English, right? 619 00:31:29,845 --> 00:31:33,225 And let's say there's a group of folks who are speaking Spanish only. 620 00:31:33,635 --> 00:31:38,405 Um, grab one of those teenagers or preteens who's bilingual, and 621 00:31:38,405 --> 00:31:39,975 say, I want you to sit by Mr. 622 00:31:39,975 --> 00:31:43,754 So and so, and whatever we say, I want you to let him know what we're saying. 623 00:31:44,244 --> 00:31:44,694 Okay? 624 00:31:44,975 --> 00:31:46,485 Uh, they will love that. 625 00:31:46,525 --> 00:31:49,315 They will love that, because again, you're showing them respect. 626 00:31:49,825 --> 00:31:53,145 Um, and also the other member who's there who doesn't speak 627 00:31:53,145 --> 00:31:54,455 the language appreciates it. 628 00:31:54,845 --> 00:31:58,595 Because the hardest thing is when folks tell jokes, you know, somebody tells 629 00:31:58,605 --> 00:32:02,005 jokes, it takes three minutes to tell it, then everybody laughs and then they 630 00:32:02,005 --> 00:32:06,745 tell you and you don't know what to do because they've got on to the next joke. 631 00:32:07,554 --> 00:32:10,945 All right, so, so just just think about the little things that can end 632 00:32:10,945 --> 00:32:16,235 up making those holiday gatherings more, more, more beneficial. 633 00:32:16,555 --> 00:32:17,175 Next, please. 634 00:32:18,965 --> 00:32:19,645 Basically. 635 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,280 Stay focused. 636 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,420 And this is not just in the holiday time. 637 00:32:23,850 --> 00:32:26,650 Life really is too short not to enjoy it. 638 00:32:26,990 --> 00:32:29,340 Um, joy is up to us. 639 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:35,979 I define joy as, as happiness, uh, repeatedly, um, stay in 640 00:32:35,980 --> 00:32:37,939 good health and stay happy. 641 00:32:38,150 --> 00:32:38,864 Next, please. 642 00:32:39,245 --> 00:32:42,575 There will always be negatives that will come up every single day. 643 00:32:42,575 --> 00:32:43,675 You will think negatives. 644 00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:50,935 You know, somebody may say, uh, um, whatever to you. 645 00:32:50,945 --> 00:32:53,725 You may say, are they, are they dissing me? 646 00:32:53,735 --> 00:32:56,144 Did they, did, did she just criticize me? 647 00:32:56,305 --> 00:32:57,964 Did he just criticize me? 648 00:32:58,455 --> 00:33:02,524 Uh, I, I have a thing I say, you know, most of that stuff, when 649 00:33:02,525 --> 00:33:05,365 you think somebody is saying stuff, most times you're wrong. 650 00:33:05,905 --> 00:33:07,125 It's just what you think. 651 00:33:07,645 --> 00:33:10,035 You know, but people aren't even thinking about you, but 652 00:33:10,035 --> 00:33:11,255 yeah, you, you're perceived. 653 00:33:11,295 --> 00:33:12,125 So you get it all. 654 00:33:12,315 --> 00:33:13,355 You get in a lather. 655 00:33:13,525 --> 00:33:14,425 Oh, my goodness. 656 00:33:14,475 --> 00:33:16,245 Roman Collins said X about me. 657 00:33:16,425 --> 00:33:18,755 So the next time I see him, blah, blah, blah. 658 00:33:18,755 --> 00:33:20,114 I'm just going to stay away from him. 659 00:33:20,434 --> 00:33:21,194 Don't do that. 660 00:33:21,565 --> 00:33:23,795 Number 1, you're wasting time, your time. 661 00:33:24,405 --> 00:33:26,274 Number 2, you're wasting energy. 662 00:33:26,544 --> 00:33:28,705 Number 3, Roman Collins didn't do anything to you anyway. 663 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:34,285 Okay, so, so just be aware that the most of the times the negatives that we think 664 00:33:34,525 --> 00:33:37,595 are our perceptions, they're not real. 665 00:33:37,745 --> 00:33:39,095 They're our perception. 666 00:33:39,365 --> 00:33:40,975 I know because I do it. 667 00:33:41,375 --> 00:33:42,494 I'm better at it. 668 00:33:42,585 --> 00:33:44,035 I do it all the time. 669 00:33:44,384 --> 00:33:46,895 Um, and so it's something that we can all stop. 670 00:33:47,045 --> 00:33:47,885 Next slide please. 671 00:33:48,624 --> 00:33:49,974 Mental health exercise. 672 00:33:49,974 --> 00:33:50,954 Remember what I said. 673 00:33:51,235 --> 00:33:52,035 Just about done. 674 00:33:52,715 --> 00:33:57,025 We frequently talk about physical exercise, you know, so many times for 675 00:33:57,025 --> 00:33:59,525 me walking, running so many steps. 676 00:33:59,924 --> 00:34:03,935 Um, um, cardio exercises, blah, blah, blah. 677 00:34:05,065 --> 00:34:08,604 This is something I came up a few months ago, um, that I 678 00:34:08,604 --> 00:34:10,235 call mental health exercises. 679 00:34:10,765 --> 00:34:11,495 Easy to do. 680 00:34:11,985 --> 00:34:14,295 Um, and I think you should do them every day. 681 00:34:14,295 --> 00:34:16,495 Number one, think good thoughts every day. 682 00:34:16,715 --> 00:34:18,854 Now that, that can't, that can't be that hard to do. 683 00:34:19,375 --> 00:34:21,615 Um, just, just think a good thought. 684 00:34:22,195 --> 00:34:24,275 Think good about good. 685 00:34:24,525 --> 00:34:27,625 Think about good people daily in addition to the thought. 686 00:34:27,645 --> 00:34:32,145 Think about a person can be somebody who's a family member, not a family member, but 687 00:34:32,145 --> 00:34:36,264 who's just a good person who makes you feel good when you see him or her, they 688 00:34:36,265 --> 00:34:41,945 smile, they do stuff, they laugh, they tell you a joke, whatever, think about 689 00:34:41,975 --> 00:34:45,205 at least one positive event per day. 690 00:34:45,425 --> 00:34:49,605 Think about something that's happened to you today on Saturday. 691 00:34:49,874 --> 00:34:50,694 That's been good. 692 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:53,990 What are you grateful for? 693 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,870 You know, as we used to say down south, count your many blessings, 694 00:34:57,870 --> 00:35:01,939 name them one by one, and you will be amazed at what God has done. 695 00:35:02,220 --> 00:35:03,290 Just, just think about it. 696 00:35:03,489 --> 00:35:03,959 Okay. 697 00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:08,300 Um, a process, this is a process that takes time. 698 00:35:08,310 --> 00:35:12,270 Now you are going to suffer, uh, suddenly become positive overnight, 699 00:35:12,270 --> 00:35:16,660 but if you practice it again, like going out and trying to run 700 00:35:17,070 --> 00:35:20,040 or trying to exercise, you'll get better and better and better with it. 701 00:35:20,310 --> 00:35:21,150 Next slide please. 702 00:35:21,390 --> 00:35:26,760 Many years ago there was . Some of you may, some i, I, I may be dating myself, 703 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:31,320 but, but, but some of you may be too young to, to remember that, but that was 704 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:36,180 a singer called Bobby McFaren, uh, who put our, a song called Don't Worry Be Happy. 705 00:35:36,540 --> 00:35:37,955 And we used to all hung that Do. 706 00:35:40,655 --> 00:35:41,400 And that's sort thing. 707 00:35:41,535 --> 00:35:44,730 And my point is, it's, it's, it's a, it's a good, it's a good. 708 00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:48,460 model to follow to keep that song with you. 709 00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:52,860 And when you get up in the morning or midday or before you go to bed at night, 710 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:59,249 just remember how happy, how many happy things have occurred to you on this day. 711 00:35:59,300 --> 00:35:59,800 Next slide. 712 00:36:00,549 --> 00:36:05,060 In summary, command and control. 713 00:36:05,269 --> 00:36:09,320 We have command and control of ourselves, and that is physically 714 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,930 lodged in the frontal lobe of our brain. 715 00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:12,069 Next slide. 716 00:36:12,230 --> 00:36:14,900 in the area called the prefrontal cortex. 717 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,240 We are in control of us. 718 00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:20,350 Be aware of rules around family gatherings. 719 00:36:20,690 --> 00:36:22,940 Be aware of rules around gift giving. 720 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:29,209 Um, uh, make sure that we mentally exercise daily, just like we 721 00:36:29,209 --> 00:36:31,009 physically exercise daily. 722 00:36:31,459 --> 00:36:33,809 Um, and don't worry, be happy. 723 00:36:33,959 --> 00:36:34,509 Next slide. 724 00:36:35,459 --> 00:36:37,599 Always with these talks. 725 00:36:37,965 --> 00:36:41,745 Uh, and with the podcast, I always add in my basic principles. 726 00:36:41,775 --> 00:36:42,475 This is me. 727 00:36:43,275 --> 00:36:44,965 In my life, God is in charge. 728 00:36:46,225 --> 00:36:47,625 I am a physician of faith. 729 00:36:48,095 --> 00:36:53,555 Um, indeed it has been the, the, the influence and the training and the 730 00:36:53,575 --> 00:36:57,165 protection of, of, of God in my life. 731 00:36:57,485 --> 00:37:00,095 That's allowed me to do the things that I've been able to do. 732 00:37:01,665 --> 00:37:04,605 Second, basic principle, no bad days. 733 00:37:04,695 --> 00:37:05,785 I don't have bad days. 734 00:37:05,895 --> 00:37:11,035 I used to, I used to, I stopped having bad days about 30 years ago, because I 735 00:37:11,035 --> 00:37:13,155 figured out my day was either good or bad. 736 00:37:13,155 --> 00:37:14,155 If I said it was. 737 00:37:14,690 --> 00:37:16,790 So I just said, I don't want them. 738 00:37:17,030 --> 00:37:17,770 They're all good. 739 00:37:17,950 --> 00:37:18,830 Simple as that. 740 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,390 It didn't cost anything. 741 00:37:21,390 --> 00:37:22,020 I just did it. 742 00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:27,279 Um, uh, and so I pass that on to you that whether your day is good 743 00:37:27,279 --> 00:37:29,709 or bad, it's whether you say it is. 744 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,599 If it is raining when you wake up in the morning, you can either say, Oh, 745 00:37:34,599 --> 00:37:38,770 my God, it is raining and I'm going to get wet and I'm going to get a 746 00:37:38,790 --> 00:37:42,240 cold and then I'm going to get sick and you can go on and on and on. 747 00:37:42,460 --> 00:37:43,709 Or you can say, Hmm. 748 00:37:44,070 --> 00:37:45,030 It is raining. 749 00:37:45,290 --> 00:37:46,890 Oh, what a beautiful day. 750 00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:50,420 It's cleaning off the leaves and the sun is brighter, blah, 751 00:37:50,420 --> 00:37:51,660 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 752 00:37:51,810 --> 00:37:52,870 Your choice. 753 00:37:53,215 --> 00:37:53,935 You're a choice. 754 00:37:54,145 --> 00:37:59,555 It's the old thing about is my glass half half full or half empty, right? 755 00:38:00,195 --> 00:38:01,185 I'm one of those people. 756 00:38:01,215 --> 00:38:03,675 I don't even go to the half full or half empty. 757 00:38:03,845 --> 00:38:05,604 I'm just happy to have a glass. 758 00:38:06,255 --> 00:38:07,295 Give me a glass. 759 00:38:07,534 --> 00:38:09,775 I'll work out the rest, right? 760 00:38:10,075 --> 00:38:15,425 So, so my point is if you're fortunate enough to have a glass, uh, be 761 00:38:15,425 --> 00:38:16,985 grateful for what you have in it. 762 00:38:17,615 --> 00:38:18,985 Don't sweat the small stuff. 763 00:38:19,025 --> 00:38:20,165 Most stuff is small. 764 00:38:20,325 --> 00:38:25,085 I guarantee you going back to me misperceiving something 765 00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:26,615 that somebody says it does. 766 00:38:27,404 --> 00:38:28,525 Principle number four. 767 00:38:28,564 --> 00:38:31,124 Forgiveness is therapy. 768 00:38:31,545 --> 00:38:33,215 Forgiveness is therapy. 769 00:38:33,215 --> 00:38:37,355 I learned this 100 different times that again, if I perceive 770 00:38:37,575 --> 00:38:41,735 somebody has said or done something to me, forgive them immediately. 771 00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:42,965 Don't think about it. 772 00:38:43,215 --> 00:38:44,545 Don't look at the facts. 773 00:38:44,545 --> 00:38:45,675 The facts don't matter. 774 00:38:45,895 --> 00:38:47,395 Just forgive, forgive, forgive. 775 00:38:47,595 --> 00:38:49,865 Do it quickly and do it often. 776 00:38:50,715 --> 00:38:55,755 You'll be amazed at how that allows your command and control to keep you 777 00:38:55,755 --> 00:38:58,615 on a positive path where you don't worry about all that other stuff 778 00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:01,625 that you can't control anyway, right? 779 00:39:02,855 --> 00:39:06,485 And the last principle, number five, everything is a relationship. 780 00:39:06,815 --> 00:39:08,555 Everything is relationship. 781 00:39:08,815 --> 00:39:10,765 Relationships are based on three things. 782 00:39:11,115 --> 00:39:15,140 Mutual respect, Mutual trust and good communication. 783 00:39:15,290 --> 00:39:18,140 If you have those three things, you have a good relationship. 784 00:39:18,380 --> 00:39:21,030 If you do not, you have work to do. 785 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:21,920 Next slide. 786 00:39:22,620 --> 00:39:27,120 Just want to mention, I mentioned earlier that this series is part of a podcast. 787 00:39:27,419 --> 00:39:32,190 Uh, the masterclass is done once a month, every second Saturday in the month. 788 00:39:32,540 --> 00:39:35,310 The podcast is done once a week on average. 789 00:39:35,670 --> 00:39:39,480 Um, we've done over 35, 36 podcasts. 790 00:39:39,870 --> 00:39:43,590 Uh, so I would encourage you to go into our library of 791 00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,960 podcasts and look up subjects. 792 00:39:46,230 --> 00:39:51,120 Um, uh, and the way to do that is to go to Paton, become a Paton, 793 00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:56,925 P-A-T-R-O-N, dot pod bean.com, us slash. 794 00:39:57,375 --> 00:39:58,855 H W W P. 795 00:39:59,115 --> 00:40:02,875 That H W W P stands for Healthy, Wealthy and Wise Podcast. 796 00:40:03,895 --> 00:40:13,574 That's Patreon, P A T R O N dot podbean, P O D B E A N dot com forward slash H W W P. 797 00:40:14,405 --> 00:40:16,485 The other thing, too, we were talking about earlier. 798 00:40:16,795 --> 00:40:22,235 This month is the one year anniversary of our podcast, uh, and we're so delighted. 799 00:40:22,445 --> 00:40:26,774 And again, the podcast and the masterclass of one and this again, if 800 00:40:27,005 --> 00:40:31,634 Robin Collins back in individuals who are on what we call our production 801 00:40:31,634 --> 00:40:36,505 team, including Jesse and Robin Collins, but also Tony McClendon, 802 00:40:37,925 --> 00:40:42,350 excuse me, Robin Revis, um, um, Mr. 803 00:40:42,350 --> 00:40:45,940 Stella was very helpful when Pastor Dockery called him 804 00:40:45,940 --> 00:40:47,780 in our first three months. 805 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,369 We were struggling because we couldn't get the we couldn't get the sound right. 806 00:40:52,899 --> 00:40:55,529 And you can't have a podcast if you can't people can't hear 807 00:40:55,529 --> 00:40:57,188 you and we just won't work. 808 00:40:57,188 --> 00:40:59,160 And so we tried everything. 809 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,450 And so I, I finally went to Pastor Dockery. 810 00:41:01,450 --> 00:41:03,310 I said, can you help us please? 811 00:41:03,660 --> 00:41:05,570 Do you have any ideas? 812 00:41:05,860 --> 00:41:07,940 And so we thought he said, yeah, I have an idea. 813 00:41:08,140 --> 00:41:09,539 I'm gonna I'm gonna send Mr. 814 00:41:09,539 --> 00:41:10,330 Stella over. 815 00:41:10,565 --> 00:41:11,295 God bless him. 816 00:41:11,305 --> 00:41:11,615 Mr. 817 00:41:11,615 --> 00:41:17,435 Stella came over, pushed a few buttons and he said, do this, this and this and left. 818 00:41:17,485 --> 00:41:19,604 I said, call me if you, if you need me. 819 00:41:20,055 --> 00:41:20,865 And he was right. 820 00:41:20,874 --> 00:41:21,334 It worked. 821 00:41:21,824 --> 00:41:22,354 It worked. 822 00:41:22,664 --> 00:41:24,324 So, you know, God bless Mr. 823 00:41:24,324 --> 00:41:24,814 Stella. 824 00:41:25,135 --> 00:41:30,155 Um, uh, so I'm, I'm, I'm very, very pleased, pleased about that. 825 00:41:31,225 --> 00:41:34,385 Pam also came to one of our meetings and she was very helpful. 826 00:41:34,695 --> 00:41:37,585 Um, so, so God has blessed us is what I'm trying to say. 827 00:41:38,045 --> 00:41:39,345 Most podcasts. 828 00:41:39,910 --> 00:41:42,010 Uh, fail within the first year. 829 00:41:42,210 --> 00:41:45,090 Most of them, 90 percent fail within the first year. 830 00:41:45,430 --> 00:41:50,619 We're in that 10 percent that survived because we're going into January 2024. 831 00:41:51,100 --> 00:41:58,765 Um, And so, so thanks to all of you and that's it, but please sign up as a patron 832 00:41:58,775 --> 00:42:02,584 so you can listen to the podcast anytime and go back and listen to old podcast. 833 00:42:02,865 --> 00:42:06,294 There are a lot of people when you listen to those podcasts, you're going 834 00:42:06,295 --> 00:42:12,915 to be, you're going to hear comments from people like, um, um, brother Katron. 835 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:17,640 Who had a story to tell, and he thought it important that he tell his story. 836 00:42:18,060 --> 00:42:20,890 It was a good story, and I encourage you to listen to it. 837 00:42:21,210 --> 00:42:25,159 Um, Brother Nichols, some of you may not know Brother Nichols. 838 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,610 Brother Nichols is your photographer, Stephen. 839 00:42:27,919 --> 00:42:29,570 He just goes around doing his thing. 840 00:42:29,959 --> 00:42:32,119 Um, has a very interesting story. 841 00:42:32,130 --> 00:42:33,760 He's been interviewed on the podcast. 842 00:42:34,180 --> 00:42:35,150 Very interesting. 843 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,620 Uh, I would encourage you, uh, to listen. 844 00:42:39,085 --> 00:42:44,605 Um, uh, Robin, um, uh, uh, Nickens is the name of the title of his 845 00:42:44,625 --> 00:42:46,615 podcast is symphony of life. 846 00:42:47,055 --> 00:42:48,205 I just like the title. 847 00:42:48,205 --> 00:42:52,504 It's like you've said, um, but I would encourage you to listen that there are 848 00:42:52,504 --> 00:42:57,205 leaders among you who are doing stuff, you know, it's not just the people, 849 00:42:57,414 --> 00:43:01,295 you know, with this and the degrees and this and that there are people you don't 850 00:43:01,295 --> 00:43:02,785 have to have a degree to be a leader. 851 00:43:03,255 --> 00:43:06,795 There are people who are doing stuff every day, you know, the people who 852 00:43:06,805 --> 00:43:11,735 I, you know, throughout my life, uh, who had the biggest impact are social 853 00:43:11,735 --> 00:43:16,975 workers and teachers who got me to where I am now, social workers and teachers. 854 00:43:17,534 --> 00:43:23,225 So my point is, there's a lot of wealth and people in St. 855 00:43:23,225 --> 00:43:25,135 Stephen's that we don't even know. 856 00:43:25,470 --> 00:43:26,080 Brother Bernie. 857 00:43:26,900 --> 00:43:28,140 Uh, thank you. 858 00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:34,130 Uh, Brother Bernie Brown, member of our church, sits on the, uh, the, 859 00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:39,680 the, the Board of Service Arms, attorney, retired, uh, prosecutor, L. 860 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:39,770 A. 861 00:43:39,770 --> 00:43:43,449 County, um, did two podcasts with us. 862 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:44,620 Because he had a couple things. 863 00:43:44,630 --> 00:43:45,620 He just wrote a book. 864 00:43:45,970 --> 00:43:48,210 So we did one on the book that he had written, then we 865 00:43:48,210 --> 00:43:49,670 just just did one on his life. 866 00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:56,930 Fascinating about the advice he gives growing up in South Central LA, UCLA, you 867 00:43:56,930 --> 00:44:00,060 know, Hastings Law School, etc, etc, etc. 868 00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:04,170 Um, but there's a, there's richness in our stories. 869 00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:08,595 In our stories, uh, and they're right here among us. 870 00:44:08,785 --> 00:44:09,615 They're right here among us. 871 00:44:09,615 --> 00:44:14,645 So I would encourage you to to please, um, sign up as a patron and 872 00:44:14,645 --> 00:44:16,304 and and and and check things out. 873 00:44:17,475 --> 00:44:20,775 Let me also say there is a very special story. 874 00:44:21,425 --> 00:44:23,724 I'm going to put it out there right now. 875 00:44:23,724 --> 00:44:26,445 She's throwing things at the at the at the TV. 876 00:44:26,835 --> 00:44:33,274 Uh, there's a very special podcast that we just did a week ago, uh, called Lorena. 877 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:42,690 If you want to know, if you want to know about the that special person, my best 878 00:44:42,690 --> 00:44:45,869 friend, listen to it in her own words. 879 00:44:46,329 --> 00:44:47,799 And just think about this. 880 00:44:47,970 --> 00:44:53,120 What if you say, you know, I thought about writing a book, but I don't want to write 881 00:44:53,130 --> 00:44:55,340 a book, but I do want to leave a legacy. 882 00:44:55,770 --> 00:44:59,460 You know, for, I don't know, my family, my friends, whatever, 883 00:44:59,460 --> 00:45:05,480 whatever, maybe a podcast, 20 or 30 minutes, just say what you think. 884 00:45:06,499 --> 00:45:10,660 Two podcasts that are coming up, two outstanding folks, which is 885 00:45:10,660 --> 00:45:14,809 why we're saving them for last, um, you may wonder about this 886 00:45:14,809 --> 00:45:17,579 young man by the name of Jesse L. 887 00:45:17,579 --> 00:45:18,199 Hammonds. 888 00:45:18,550 --> 00:45:22,690 Nice guy, you know, just sort of floats around helping people, 889 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,420 you know, you don't notice him unless you say something to him. 890 00:45:26,450 --> 00:45:27,250 I want you to listen. 891 00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:29,450 I want you to listen to his podcast. 892 00:45:29,450 --> 00:45:30,700 It's coming up in about a week. 893 00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:31,925 Okay. 894 00:45:32,225 --> 00:45:36,925 Um, uh, did you know that he worked for AT& T for 15 years, 895 00:45:37,295 --> 00:45:40,034 which is where his is 25. 896 00:45:40,035 --> 00:45:40,555 Thank you. 897 00:45:40,805 --> 00:45:43,635 Which is where his, his tech savviness came about. 898 00:45:43,755 --> 00:45:46,405 Of course, you do know the, the relationship that just I'll do 899 00:45:46,405 --> 00:45:49,324 this real quick because I, I don't want to hold you got one minute. 900 00:45:49,325 --> 00:45:54,895 After I had asked Roman Collins and the folks about the masterclass 901 00:45:54,895 --> 00:45:56,265 in the park, uh, masterclass. 902 00:45:57,255 --> 00:46:00,135 Uh, Brother Hammonds, who's in the same men's Sunday school 903 00:46:00,155 --> 00:46:02,495 class, came up to me and said, Dr. 904 00:46:02,495 --> 00:46:05,665 Choctaw, uh, who's this po who's this math class for? 905 00:46:06,065 --> 00:46:07,785 And I said, it's for everybody. 906 00:46:07,785 --> 00:46:08,955 He said, just for St. 907 00:46:08,955 --> 00:46:09,265 Stephen's? 908 00:46:09,304 --> 00:46:11,724 I said, no, no, no, no, everybody, everybody. 909 00:46:12,104 --> 00:46:13,794 He said, then you should do a podcast. 910 00:46:14,660 --> 00:46:19,430 And I said to him, I know what a podcast is, but I don't know how to do it. 911 00:46:20,210 --> 00:46:22,500 He said to me, I can help you with that. 912 00:46:24,210 --> 00:46:28,670 Fast forward, you know, 12, 12 months later, here we are 913 00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:35,869 going to January, uh, 2024. 914 00:46:36,930 --> 00:46:40,330 And, and finally, some of you may not know this, but I'm going 915 00:46:40,330 --> 00:46:41,600 to put it out there anyway. 916 00:46:42,065 --> 00:46:48,755 Uh, our leader of our church, Pastor Dockery, has agreed, uh, to, uh, set down 917 00:46:48,795 --> 00:46:51,345 for an interview for a podcast this month. 918 00:46:51,595 --> 00:46:52,155 Mm hmm. 919 00:46:52,305 --> 00:46:53,805 So that will also be coming up. 920 00:46:54,704 --> 00:46:58,595 I don't know why all these things happened, but clearly 921 00:46:58,634 --> 00:47:00,224 there's somebody in charge. 922 00:47:00,744 --> 00:47:01,304 It's not me. 923 00:47:02,325 --> 00:47:07,095 I mean, it's not Jesse, even though Jesse is chief production officer, 924 00:47:11,865 --> 00:47:12,775 but it's not him. 925 00:47:12,845 --> 00:47:13,495 It's not him. 926 00:47:13,935 --> 00:47:16,564 But anyway, anyway, just sort of keep us in your prayers. 927 00:47:16,765 --> 00:47:17,605 Next slide, please. 928 00:47:18,175 --> 00:47:22,055 So, finally, be the change that you want to see in the world. 929 00:47:22,255 --> 00:47:25,335 If the world is not what you want to be, want it to be, change it. 930 00:47:25,925 --> 00:47:27,585 Don't sit down waiting for somebody else. 931 00:47:27,785 --> 00:47:28,255 You do it. 932 00:47:28,805 --> 00:47:30,105 Because that's what leaders do. 933 00:47:30,325 --> 00:47:30,865 Thank you. 934 00:47:31,315 --> 00:47:32,095 Have a great day. 935 00:47:34,445 --> 00:47:35,585 Are there any questions? 936 00:47:38,075 --> 00:47:41,075 They always taught me to count to 10 seconds. 937 00:47:42,945 --> 00:47:43,815 Okay. 938 00:47:44,044 --> 00:47:46,044 Well, I have one, Dr. 939 00:47:46,044 --> 00:47:46,304 Chakta. 940 00:47:47,055 --> 00:47:48,075 Oh, yes, sir. 941 00:47:48,165 --> 00:47:49,075 Roman Nickens. 942 00:47:49,295 --> 00:47:50,145 How are you, sir? 943 00:47:50,165 --> 00:47:51,135 How is everyone? 944 00:47:51,475 --> 00:47:52,275 I am well. 945 00:47:53,545 --> 00:47:58,214 You may have covered this in past sessions or I am driving and I 946 00:47:58,255 --> 00:47:59,785 stepped out of the car for a moment. 947 00:48:00,325 --> 00:48:03,375 However, um, and if you covered it, please forgive me. 948 00:48:03,455 --> 00:48:04,585 I would like to know. 949 00:48:04,925 --> 00:48:06,475 Because you said Dr. 950 00:48:06,475 --> 00:48:09,934 Dockery and you're going to interview him so forth and brother Hammonds. 951 00:48:09,935 --> 00:48:11,155 You just went on mute. 952 00:48:12,075 --> 00:48:12,955 Hit your spacebar. 953 00:48:12,995 --> 00:48:13,605 Oh, okay. 954 00:48:13,704 --> 00:48:14,235 There you go. 955 00:48:14,744 --> 00:48:17,985 When will someone have the opportunity to interview you for your story? 956 00:48:19,214 --> 00:48:24,198 No, no, no, no, no one's interviewed me. 957 00:48:24,198 --> 00:48:29,375 I, I, no, I, I, but I have told my story. 958 00:48:29,635 --> 00:48:30,845 Uh, in a podcast. 959 00:48:30,885 --> 00:48:32,995 And the name of the podcast is Amanda. 960 00:48:33,305 --> 00:48:33,565 Yeah. 961 00:48:33,875 --> 00:48:33,995 Okay. 962 00:48:34,405 --> 00:48:35,504 Fair enough. 963 00:48:35,505 --> 00:48:37,145 In those 35 that I mentioned. 964 00:48:37,315 --> 00:48:39,805 And this was a podcast I did for my mother. 965 00:48:41,084 --> 00:48:41,354 Splendid. 966 00:48:41,355 --> 00:48:43,214 And like I said, I may have missed it. 967 00:48:43,244 --> 00:48:44,315 Thank you so much for that. 968 00:48:44,624 --> 00:48:45,335 I will review that. 969 00:48:46,135 --> 00:48:50,085 I might say, I know that you're one of our subscribers. 970 00:48:50,385 --> 00:48:53,465 Uh, you, you, you can go and just pull that one down. 971 00:48:53,825 --> 00:48:55,015 But it's okay. 972 00:48:55,535 --> 00:48:57,085 It's one of one of my favorites. 973 00:48:58,605 --> 00:48:58,995 Okay. 974 00:48:59,035 --> 00:48:59,535 Splendid. 975 00:48:59,765 --> 00:49:00,815 Thank you so much, sir. 976 00:49:01,235 --> 00:49:02,735 No, thank you for the questions. 977 00:49:02,735 --> 00:49:04,605 That was it for me. 978 00:49:05,725 --> 00:49:06,195 Okay. 979 00:49:06,665 --> 00:49:07,555 Any other questions? 980 00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:14,094 If not, then all of you have a terrific, terrific Saturday and have a wonderful 981 00:49:14,105 --> 00:49:16,314 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 982 00:49:16,494 --> 00:49:17,124 God bless. 983 00:49:18,075 --> 00:49:18,595 God bless. 984 00:49:19,695 --> 00:49:22,325 Thank you for listening to this episode of the Healthy, Wealthy, 985 00:49:22,325 --> 00:49:24,405 and Wise podcast with Dr. 986 00:49:24,405 --> 00:49:25,035 William T. 987 00:49:25,035 --> 00:49:27,345 Choctaw, MD, JD. 988 00:49:27,635 --> 00:49:31,144 Be sure to check out other great episodes covering areas of health, 989 00:49:31,365 --> 00:49:35,714 wealth, and wisdom at thwwp. 990 00:49:35,714 --> 00:49:40,095 com, and while you're there, be sure to check out the books, blogs, and other 991 00:49:40,095 --> 00:49:44,485 literature in your preferred format, and don't forget to leave a review, 992 00:49:44,504 --> 00:49:47,835 subscribe, share, and support the podcast. 993 00:49:48,124 --> 00:49:48,384 That's it. 994 00:49:48,575 --> 00:49:50,525 That t h w w p. 995 00:49:50,965 --> 00:49:51,575 com. 996 00:49:51,905 --> 00:49:55,775 You've been listening to the healthy, wealthy, and wise podcast with Dr. 997 00:49:55,775 --> 00:49:56,315 William T. 998 00:49:56,315 --> 00:50:00,119 Choctaw, MD, JD.