Prayer, Purpose, and Power: Spiritual Dimensions of Leadership

1 00:00:00,590 --> 00:00:01,780 Dr. William T Choctaw, MD, JD: Reverend Andrew Collins. 2 00:00:02,590 --> 00:00:05,130 Okay, what I want to do, I want to give you a scripture this morning, 3 00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:09,020 starting at Mark chapter 9, verse 23. 4 00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:13,419 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are 5 00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,369 possible to him that believeth. 6 00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:20,619 And straightway the father of the child cried out, And said with tears, 7 00:00:20,749 --> 00:00:25,170 Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief, let us go to the Lord in prayer. 8 00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:28,300 Father God Almighty, we come to you this morning, my father, knowing my father 9 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:32,800 that you are in control of our lives, my father, knowing that you, you let us 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,649 sleep last night and then you touched us with the finger of love this morning. 11 00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:39,250 You woke us up in closing our right mind, you know, our spiritual, physical, 12 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,640 mental capacity is far too involved. 13 00:00:40,850 --> 00:00:43,000 And we know you did it all because you love us, my father. 14 00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:44,210 All because you love grace. 15 00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,119 And we thank you for that, and we thank you for bringing us to 16 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,410 this point in time, my father. 17 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:53,009 As we go through this masterclass today, we pray that you would help us all, my 18 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,629 father, to constantly believe in you. 19 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,670 Not only that, but believe in the things that you have sent people to tell us. 20 00:00:57,970 --> 00:01:00,609 Knowing, my father, that all things are possible with you, my father. 21 00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:03,220 We love you, we praise you, we glorify and edify you. 22 00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:05,155 Bless my father, our speaker. 23 00:01:05,714 --> 00:01:07,354 Fill him with your Holy Spirit, wisdom, and honesty. 24 00:01:07,354 --> 00:01:09,195 We speak the words that you've given him to speak. 25 00:01:10,175 --> 00:01:12,294 We ask this of you and we thank this of you in your daughter's 26 00:01:12,294 --> 00:01:13,624 name, Jesus Christ, Holy Name. 27 00:01:14,024 --> 00:01:14,425 Amen. 28 00:01:16,794 --> 00:01:17,405 Good morning. 29 00:01:17,714 --> 00:01:19,364 Happy to have you all here. 30 00:01:19,945 --> 00:01:22,005 Today we're going to talk about wellness. 31 00:01:22,484 --> 00:01:25,334 Wellness you've heard it in many contexts. 32 00:01:26,424 --> 00:01:29,714 But we're going to talk about wellness in terms of your health and in terms 33 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:34,274 of the health of those that you love and those that are around you. 34 00:01:34,274 --> 00:01:35,994 So first, Happy New Year. 35 00:01:39,944 --> 00:01:42,344 Welcome to 2024. 36 00:01:43,939 --> 00:01:51,099 This is the year that's new, and we haven't seen it 37 00:01:51,099 --> 00:01:53,809 before, as you can imagine. 38 00:01:54,319 --> 00:01:56,099 So welcome to 2024. 39 00:01:56,109 --> 00:01:56,929 Happy New Year. 40 00:01:57,999 --> 00:02:01,009 I believe life is about being of service to others. 41 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,279 I believe knowledge is power. 42 00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:06,064 I believe leaders can change the world. 43 00:02:06,484 --> 00:02:10,714 You are in this room today and on zoom because you're leaders. 44 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:15,114 This is part of our leadership masterclass series and most of this has to do 45 00:02:15,114 --> 00:02:17,624 with what I call masterclass medicine. 46 00:02:18,324 --> 00:02:20,804 Now you've heard about medicine in different contexts. 47 00:02:21,169 --> 00:02:25,159 But this is leaders learning how to do better and how to grow the 48 00:02:25,159 --> 00:02:29,929 healthcare delivery system and to help others in in medicine. 49 00:02:30,469 --> 00:02:34,529 Much of what we're going to talk about today is going to be based on my, I now 50 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:42,119 can say 76 years of service, of life, and seven and 51 years of medical practice. 51 00:02:43,629 --> 00:02:45,299 And these are my opinions. 52 00:02:45,519 --> 00:02:51,899 I encourage you to use your computer browser liberally, meaning that feel 53 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:56,819 free to look up information that we may talk about, because I think that's how 54 00:02:56,829 --> 00:02:59,369 we all learn, and that's how we all grow. 55 00:03:00,339 --> 00:03:02,529 And certainly, you'll be able to ask. 56 00:03:02,924 --> 00:03:04,734 and answer questions as you need to. 57 00:03:05,314 --> 00:03:06,164 I have to know. 58 00:03:06,574 --> 00:03:11,734 Well, it's not uncommon, every January, that there's a tradition in this country, 59 00:03:11,964 --> 00:03:14,334 and we call it New Year's Resolutions. 60 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:19,654 And if you look at television, you're going to see ads about how to lose weight, 61 00:03:20,424 --> 00:03:24,234 how to be healthier, et cetera, et cetera. 62 00:03:24,894 --> 00:03:26,924 We're going to talk about that, but we're going to do it 63 00:03:26,924 --> 00:03:28,324 from a different perspective. 64 00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:31,594 We're going to talk about something called wellness. 65 00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:33,884 And we'll describe what that is. 66 00:03:34,094 --> 00:03:39,034 We're going to talk about, I would say, a good solid three to four resolutions 67 00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:41,634 that we recommend that you consider. 68 00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:46,824 And included in that is something called radical self help. 69 00:03:46,824 --> 00:03:48,265 And we'll describe what that is. 70 00:03:48,504 --> 00:03:51,544 And then we'll leave you with some suggestions about what 71 00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:53,124 you can do to stay healthy. 72 00:03:53,684 --> 00:03:57,624 So, as we talked about the New Year's weather looseness, most 73 00:03:57,624 --> 00:03:59,569 of them will involve Eating. 74 00:04:00,119 --> 00:04:05,109 And what I'm going to suggest to you, to put it in context, basically, 75 00:04:05,389 --> 00:04:09,579 when we talk about being healthier or wellness, we're talking about 76 00:04:09,589 --> 00:04:11,069 controlling the controllables. 77 00:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,959 What do I mean by controlling the controllables? 78 00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:16,429 Basically controlling yourself. 79 00:04:16,969 --> 00:04:18,649 You cannot control other people. 80 00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,499 And I've said it many times, I used to thought, think that 81 00:04:22,499 --> 00:04:23,989 I was controlling my children. 82 00:04:24,179 --> 00:04:25,019 I was not. 83 00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:29,249 I would make suggestions to them, but they basically did what they did. 84 00:04:29,609 --> 00:04:34,944 And, and it's sort of like, It's about you controlling yourself, basically. 85 00:04:34,954 --> 00:04:36,764 This, this is really what we're talking about. 86 00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:41,444 And it's based on the theory that if you get yourself in order, you can then 87 00:04:41,454 --> 00:04:46,024 help to help others to get themselves to the level that they should be. 88 00:04:46,434 --> 00:04:49,594 And one of the things, one of my favorite prayers that I've learned many, many 89 00:04:49,594 --> 00:04:53,844 years ago, I think back when I was in college is the serenity prayer. 90 00:04:54,614 --> 00:04:58,744 And I've, I've had this on my office wall many times. 91 00:04:59,069 --> 00:05:02,149 And basically it's the, and many of you have heard it, it's the 92 00:05:02,149 --> 00:05:06,039 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. 93 00:05:06,644 --> 00:05:11,334 The courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know 94 00:05:11,334 --> 00:05:12,794 the difference between the two. 95 00:05:13,184 --> 00:05:13,904 What's my point? 96 00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:20,554 My point is, it is a full time job, 24 7, for you to be in charge of 97 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:24,114 making sure you are doing the right things when they should be done. 98 00:05:24,474 --> 00:05:26,834 You don't have time to try to change other people. 99 00:05:27,099 --> 00:05:30,469 Because changing yourself and taking care of yourself is, is 100 00:05:30,469 --> 00:05:33,889 a 25 24 hour a day a situation. 101 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:38,379 When we talk about change and when we talk about wellness and we talk 102 00:05:38,389 --> 00:05:43,239 about self or the individual, I refer to it as the person in the mirror. 103 00:05:43,579 --> 00:05:47,449 And this is the person I have a conversation with every day in terms of 104 00:05:47,449 --> 00:05:49,309 what I should or should not be doing. 105 00:05:49,609 --> 00:05:53,749 And I would suggest or recommend that, that you basically do the same. 106 00:05:54,804 --> 00:05:59,984 And when we talk about change and we talk about the individual, I'm talking 107 00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:05,214 about it on three different levels, mental, physical, and spiritual. 108 00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:08,834 So what do we mean by that or why are they connected? 109 00:06:09,014 --> 00:06:14,274 Well, our beliefs, what we think, and if we go back to what I call the 110 00:06:14,294 --> 00:06:18,244 prefrontal cortex, the right side of the upper part of the brain here. 111 00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:24,369 Our belief affects how we think and how we think affects how we feel 112 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:27,159 and how we feel affects how we act. 113 00:06:27,529 --> 00:06:32,339 My point is, if you're not feeling well mentally, if you're a little 114 00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:36,019 down, if things aren't working well for you, go back and look 115 00:06:36,019 --> 00:06:37,639 at what your belief system is. 116 00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:40,834 What do you believe that may or may not be true? 117 00:06:41,374 --> 00:06:47,464 Because what you may find out is that your belief is in error. 118 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:51,824 And just by changing your belief, flipping the switch, I like to say, 119 00:06:52,124 --> 00:06:53,934 you can change the way you feel. 120 00:06:54,144 --> 00:06:55,214 There's wellness. 121 00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:58,194 You've, you've heard this term a lot, wellness. 122 00:06:58,574 --> 00:07:00,674 A lot of times when I send an email. 123 00:07:01,119 --> 00:07:03,039 I'll say stay safe. 124 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:03,889 Be well. 125 00:07:04,909 --> 00:07:10,889 What does being well mean being well means being at your very best 126 00:07:11,129 --> 00:07:14,379 mentally, physically and spiritually. 127 00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:17,359 Yes, we think about ourselves physically all the time. 128 00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:18,649 We want to stay healthy. 129 00:07:18,649 --> 00:07:19,579 We want to eat right. 130 00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:20,659 We want to exercise. 131 00:07:20,699 --> 00:07:21,549 We want to lose weight. 132 00:07:21,729 --> 00:07:22,399 That's great. 133 00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:28,079 But I will submit to you that the two other forms of wellness are just as 134 00:07:28,079 --> 00:07:31,149 important as physical, if not even more. 135 00:07:31,359 --> 00:07:34,629 And that's the mental part and the spiritual part. 136 00:07:34,789 --> 00:07:37,469 The mental part and the spiritual part. 137 00:07:38,239 --> 00:07:42,189 Mentally, obviously, is what you think, or how you view other people. 138 00:07:42,189 --> 00:07:43,429 Again, your beliefs. 139 00:07:43,739 --> 00:07:49,999 Spiritual, many times, is how you think, how you feel in an alignment. 140 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:53,129 with a spiritual belief system, right? 141 00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:56,049 As a Christian, you believe certain things. 142 00:07:56,379 --> 00:08:01,439 And you know when you are or are not in alignment with those beliefs. 143 00:08:01,589 --> 00:08:04,919 And so, you want to put all those together, and what I like 144 00:08:04,929 --> 00:08:06,389 to say, you want to be balanced. 145 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,589 You want to be balanced. 146 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,659 You want to have each one of those three areas. 147 00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:15,779 So when we talk about wellness and if we were to do a wordle, this 148 00:08:15,779 --> 00:08:19,669 is sort of like what we have here, it talks about it in all those 149 00:08:19,669 --> 00:08:21,769 different, all those different areas. 150 00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:27,664 Happiness, relaxation, enjoyment, science, hygiene, care, mental 151 00:08:27,664 --> 00:08:30,274 and physical exercise, et cetera. 152 00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:36,544 And again, wellness therapy then is treating ourselves mentally, 153 00:08:36,544 --> 00:08:41,124 physically, and spiritually, and thereby being able to help others. 154 00:08:41,314 --> 00:08:43,174 Because again, remember the beliefs. 155 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,914 Life is about being of service to others. 156 00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:52,244 So this is not just about This is about us getting ourselves together so that we can 157 00:08:52,244 --> 00:08:54,944 then reach out and be helpful to others. 158 00:08:55,359 --> 00:08:59,309 So one of the, one of the resolutions that I'm going to suggest to you is 159 00:08:59,309 --> 00:09:02,259 something called radical self help. 160 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,719 And you may not have heard the phrase before, but radical self help 161 00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:13,889 means being serious and, and, and committed to taking care of yourself. 162 00:09:14,049 --> 00:09:18,109 Being serious and committed to taking care of yourself. 163 00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:21,179 And why, why is this such a big deal? 164 00:09:21,189 --> 00:09:25,669 Because many times we are taught, well, you know, it's selfish. 165 00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:27,684 to think about taking care of yourself. 166 00:09:28,064 --> 00:09:30,979 And I'm going to suggest that it is not. 167 00:09:31,299 --> 00:09:37,389 Yes, you can be selfish, but radical self care means that if I stay healthy, 168 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:42,149 I can help other people stay healthy, mentally, physically, and spiritually. 169 00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:46,819 If I'm balanced, I can help other people be balanced, mentally, 170 00:09:46,869 --> 00:09:48,529 physically, and spiritually. 171 00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,069 It's sort of caring for the caregivers. 172 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,089 If I'm a, if, assume that we're all caregivers. 173 00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:58,749 as leaders, then if we take care of ourselves, we can help 174 00:09:58,749 --> 00:10:00,019 to take care of other people. 175 00:10:00,229 --> 00:10:05,119 So what can you do to bring more radical self care to your life? 176 00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:08,079 You can see this young lady on the screen. 177 00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:10,559 She is obviously happy. 178 00:10:10,869 --> 00:10:13,919 Because she's involved with the radical self care. 179 00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:16,299 So what are some of the elements of self care? 180 00:10:16,489 --> 00:10:17,909 Let's just talk about them. 181 00:10:18,189 --> 00:10:20,889 And the way, one way to think about it is sort of the 182 00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,429 conscious and the subconscious. 183 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:28,049 Our bodies, and I, I say this all the time, are like the most sophisticated 184 00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:29,769 computer you can ever imagine. 185 00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:32,284 It does so many things when we're awake. 186 00:10:32,284 --> 00:10:36,794 It does so many things when we're asleep, and all those things cumulatively 187 00:10:37,034 --> 00:10:38,924 make us effective as human beings. 188 00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:40,264 It's just extraordinary. 189 00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:44,354 And those of you young people or, or even not young people who are 190 00:10:44,374 --> 00:10:46,994 interested in a career, go into medicine. 191 00:10:47,004 --> 00:10:49,204 The, the body is just extraordinary. 192 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,744 And so the body operates on two levels. 193 00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:55,664 It operates on the conscious level and the unconscious or the subconscious level. 194 00:10:55,894 --> 00:10:58,454 Think about it being awake and being asleep, right? 195 00:10:58,644 --> 00:11:00,254 When we're awake, we're conscious. 196 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:05,954 We, we do things purposefully but when we're asleep we are not conscious. 197 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:12,249 We're not awake, but our body functions remarkably, and studies are now showing 198 00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:16,889 that the body is much more active when we're asleep than we ever thought it was. 199 00:11:16,949 --> 00:11:18,969 We used to think that everything sort of shut down. 200 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:19,769 Well it doesn't. 201 00:11:19,769 --> 00:11:21,719 It doesn't shut down at all. 202 00:11:21,909 --> 00:11:24,799 As a matter of fact, some things speed up when, when, when we're asleep. 203 00:11:25,279 --> 00:11:31,774 So some, some of the, some of the Elements to look at with self care is getting rest. 204 00:11:31,794 --> 00:11:33,234 Now, this is obvious, right? 205 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:38,114 You know, if you have any kind of system, you have to rest that system. 206 00:11:38,404 --> 00:11:42,144 So again, think of your body as a super duper computer. 207 00:11:42,154 --> 00:11:43,254 You've got arrested. 208 00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:46,144 You've got to give a chance to repair itself. 209 00:11:46,489 --> 00:11:48,129 You've got to do analytics on it. 210 00:11:48,129 --> 00:11:51,999 You've got to make sure it's functioning properly, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 211 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,799 Fuel, you've got to eat properly. 212 00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:58,739 You need food to put into the body, and ideally it should be 213 00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:02,179 good food or proper food, and so you've got to nourish the body. 214 00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:08,549 It would not help you to go, to not eat for six months or three months. 215 00:12:08,809 --> 00:12:12,239 And that's why when I hear the word fasting, I get nervous. 216 00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:16,464 As a physician being very honest, I hear the word fasting. 217 00:12:16,464 --> 00:12:21,534 I get nervous because I'm saying, you know what, my machine is like my car. 218 00:12:21,794 --> 00:12:26,184 Now I can say, Okay, I'm going to let that dial get all the way to zero. 219 00:12:26,694 --> 00:12:28,064 And I'm not going to put gas in. 220 00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:30,314 I'm just gonna, I'm just going to take that risk. 221 00:12:30,354 --> 00:12:34,154 That's the way sometimes I sort of view fasting, but that's just me. 222 00:12:34,364 --> 00:12:35,124 That's just me. 223 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:38,124 But, but you got to provide fuel for the body. 224 00:12:38,314 --> 00:12:39,304 That makes sense, right? 225 00:12:39,314 --> 00:12:39,334 Yeah. 226 00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:40,669 You gotta move. 227 00:12:41,079 --> 00:12:42,449 The body has to be active. 228 00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:45,829 The body was not meant to be sedentary 24 7. 229 00:12:46,129 --> 00:12:49,619 It is a functioning, active, living being. 230 00:12:49,819 --> 00:12:53,529 And that's the way God made us, and so that, that's our job to do. 231 00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:56,429 And that sometimes we want to be still. 232 00:12:57,129 --> 00:12:58,969 All right, sounds a little paradoxical. 233 00:12:59,209 --> 00:13:00,109 What does that mean? 234 00:13:00,269 --> 00:13:02,809 That means that sometimes you just need to take a break. 235 00:13:03,119 --> 00:13:07,399 Sometimes you just need to sit, and you can call it meditation, you can 236 00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:11,199 call it prayer, you can call it yoga, you can call it anything you want. 237 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:17,459 But sometimes you just need to sit and be, and be still and be at peace, be at peace. 238 00:13:17,629 --> 00:13:18,669 I call it prayer. 239 00:13:19,159 --> 00:13:22,699 You know, where I, I just have my, my, my little prayer for whatever 240 00:13:22,699 --> 00:13:24,439 I want to talk to God about. 241 00:13:24,449 --> 00:13:29,099 But, but, but sometimes you just need to stop, just need to stop and be still. 242 00:13:30,249 --> 00:13:31,829 Sometimes you need to speak up. 243 00:13:32,319 --> 00:13:35,759 Now this may be difficult for a lot of people who are uncomfortable speaking 244 00:13:35,759 --> 00:13:40,419 up particularly in certain situations, but I'm going to encourage you to speak 245 00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,289 up and you can do it respectfully. 246 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,609 Speaking up does not mean that you're rude. 247 00:13:44,609 --> 00:13:46,139 It does not mean that you're mean. 248 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,399 It does not mean that you're a bad person. 249 00:13:48,609 --> 00:13:53,049 It means that you believe that there's been a misinterpretation or maybe 250 00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:56,499 someone has said something or done something that, that, that bothers you. 251 00:13:56,909 --> 00:13:59,369 And it may be helpful to speak up at the time. 252 00:13:59,909 --> 00:14:02,229 And number six is extremely important. 253 00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:04,147 You gotta enjoy yourself. 254 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,064 You gotta enjoy yourself. 255 00:14:06,064 --> 00:14:11,814 So, radical self help, one of our New Year resolutions for 2024. 256 00:14:12,474 --> 00:14:18,294 is a balanced approach to mental and physical health, conscious 257 00:14:18,514 --> 00:14:20,054 and subconscious health. 258 00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:24,274 Many times, individuals who have trouble dealing with this or giving 259 00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:29,014 themselves permission tend to be what I call responsible people. 260 00:14:29,624 --> 00:14:34,754 And what I mean by responsible people, they're the person in the family, 261 00:14:34,814 --> 00:14:38,754 many times the oldest, not always, but many times the oldest, but they're 262 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,194 the ones who take care of everything. 263 00:14:40,719 --> 00:14:42,769 You know, they take care of mom and dad, they take care of the other 264 00:14:42,769 --> 00:14:45,019 kids, they, they just run things. 265 00:14:45,189 --> 00:14:48,259 And so they're the ones that mom and dad go to and says, okay, I need you 266 00:14:48,259 --> 00:14:49,509 to get your sister, blah, blah, blah. 267 00:14:49,509 --> 00:14:52,909 And I need you to send your brother over here and I need you to pick this up and I 268 00:14:52,909 --> 00:14:54,219 need you to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 269 00:14:54,379 --> 00:14:55,989 Oh, by the way, I need to go to the doctor. 270 00:14:55,989 --> 00:14:57,359 So you need to take me to the doctor. 271 00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:58,999 They're the ones who do everything. 272 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,139 And if you're not that person, you know, people like that. 273 00:15:02,414 --> 00:15:02,784 Right? 274 00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:07,544 Many times, they're the individuals who get burned out the most, is my point. 275 00:15:08,144 --> 00:15:11,804 They're the ones who are most used because they're very, very good at what they do. 276 00:15:11,814 --> 00:15:12,704 That's why they do it. 277 00:15:13,174 --> 00:15:18,044 But they many times end up getting burned out most or faster than everybody else. 278 00:15:18,374 --> 00:15:22,194 And so if you're one of those people, I don't want you to get burned out. 279 00:15:22,404 --> 00:15:23,674 You know, we need you. 280 00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:27,264 We need you to help all of us to do things that we want to do. 281 00:15:27,864 --> 00:15:32,294 Sometimes they may be single parents who feel like that my job 282 00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:34,184 is to take care of everybody else. 283 00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:38,124 And so I've heard the music term, I take care of myself last. 284 00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:42,039 You know, I feed myself last, I blah, blah, blah myself last. 285 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:47,809 I'm going to suggest that, that you, you take a look at radical self care 286 00:15:47,969 --> 00:15:50,169 and you don't have to put yourself last. 287 00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:54,199 You know, you can just put yourself in the middle, just, just do it at the same time. 288 00:15:54,369 --> 00:15:58,649 That is okay, is what I'm trying to say, because many of us as children, 289 00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:02,389 it's sort of put this guilt on us, on ourselves, because we've always 290 00:16:02,389 --> 00:16:06,379 done it, and so that's why we always do it, and it ends up being a problem 291 00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:11,389 for us as we get older, as we get into relationships, as we as we have to 292 00:16:11,399 --> 00:16:13,449 deal with illnesses on and on and on. 293 00:16:13,729 --> 00:16:16,549 So just think about that as a part of radical self help. 294 00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:18,159 Or radical self care. 295 00:16:19,329 --> 00:16:23,559 So again, the physical, mental, and spiritual, I won't go into every 296 00:16:23,559 --> 00:16:27,979 single detail, but again, remember to sort of physically take a walk, 297 00:16:28,249 --> 00:16:31,879 again, it's giving yourself permission, and that's the term that I use. 298 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,839 I'm going to give myself permission to do nothing today. 299 00:16:36,889 --> 00:16:40,819 I'm just going to sit, I'm going to watch TV, I'm going to, I don't know, 300 00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:42,879 take a walk, go to a movie, whatever. 301 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,859 But I'm going to give myself permission. 302 00:16:44,999 --> 00:16:46,879 And I use that phraseology. 303 00:16:47,159 --> 00:16:48,549 Because only you can do it. 304 00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:51,839 No, you don't, you don't get permission from somebody else to do stuff. 305 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:56,469 You have to give yourself permission because you're your own worst enemy. 306 00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,279 Believe it or not, and maybe enemy is too strong a term, but 307 00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:05,599 you're your own, your own worst deterrent or, or, or, or problem. 308 00:17:05,929 --> 00:17:10,489 And that's why you need to give yourself permission to eat a little ice 309 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,569 cream because it makes me feel good. 310 00:17:12,979 --> 00:17:15,179 I'm not a bad person if I eat ice cream. 311 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,790 You know, and so my point is, give yourself permission to do things, 312 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,760 walk on the beach, climb a mountain. 313 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,410 I have a good friend who, who likes to ride bikes on mountains, you 314 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,600 know, mountain bikes and stuff. 315 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:30,940 And so he frequently posted on, on Facebook, his mountain bike rides. 316 00:17:31,335 --> 00:17:32,805 You know, that makes him feel good. 317 00:17:32,815 --> 00:17:35,495 So he gives himself permission to do that. 318 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:39,155 He's, he's an attorney, a retired attorney friend of mine, member of St. 319 00:17:39,155 --> 00:17:40,275 Stephen's, I might add. 320 00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:43,345 So, so, so give yourself permission to do those things. 321 00:17:43,615 --> 00:17:46,565 The same thing with mental and the same thing with emotional. 322 00:17:46,725 --> 00:17:51,755 So, so my, my point about radical self care, it is not being selfish. 323 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,725 Many times we were taught, oh, you're doing this for yourself. 324 00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:57,655 Oh, you know, you, you shouldn't be selfish. 325 00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,260 You can do both. 326 00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:00,900 You can do both. 327 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:05,790 You can help others, but you can also concomitantly at the same time 328 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,350 help yourself, and that's okay. 329 00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:13,200 Because we need you to be healthy and wealthy and wise. 330 00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:15,910 We need you to be spiritually stable. 331 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,480 We need you to be physically and mentally okay, because you're 332 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,350 human, and we humans are limited. 333 00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:24,650 We're limited. 334 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,080 So take care of yourself and be okay with that. 335 00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:32,920 Finally, in terms of just dealing with self care, then I'll move on is spending 336 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,510 time with other people that make you feel better, that make you feel good. 337 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:42,250 And, and notice, I, what, what I mean by that is one of the things that I do is 338 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:45,150 that I stay away from negative people. 339 00:18:45,610 --> 00:18:46,320 This is just me. 340 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,130 This is just me. 341 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,590 My definition of a negative person is, as you might imagine, 342 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,060 somebody who's always negative. 343 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:56,490 You know, anytime you ask them a question, so how you doing? 344 00:18:56,490 --> 00:18:57,770 Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 345 00:18:58,010 --> 00:19:01,020 You know, they always have something bad to say about somebody else or whatever. 346 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:03,350 I tend to stay away from folks like that. 347 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:08,530 I, so, and concomitantly, I tend to gravitate toward positive people. 348 00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,120 You know, because positive people make me feel good. 349 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,970 And so what I'm saying is, you can use some intentionality 350 00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:15,310 with that, and that's okay. 351 00:19:17,575 --> 00:19:19,025 Practice gratitude. 352 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,145 Simple, simple, simple, simple, simple. 353 00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:22,715 I call it the thank you. 354 00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:24,325 Just say thank you. 355 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:25,960 Don't have to make a speech. 356 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,280 Don't have to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 357 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,790 Just say, thank you. 358 00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,180 I, I've told this story before. 359 00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:34,800 One of the things that I learned and my patients taught me is, you 360 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,840 know, I'd operate on somebody or treat some, some medical condition 361 00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:41,030 and the patients say, Oh, Dr. 362 00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:43,280 Choctaw, do you like blah, blah, blah? 363 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:47,255 Do you like tamales, or do you like cornbread, or whatever, 364 00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:48,805 I, you know, and I said, sure. 365 00:19:49,015 --> 00:19:51,145 And they said, oh, I'm, I'm gonna make you some cornbread. 366 00:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,015 I'm, I'm gonna bring you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 367 00:19:53,015 --> 00:19:54,675 I'm gonna do whatever. 368 00:19:55,035 --> 00:19:57,055 And, and they would do that when I first started praying. 369 00:19:57,055 --> 00:19:58,645 I said, oh, no, no, no, that's okay. 370 00:19:58,645 --> 00:19:59,465 You don't have to do that. 371 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:00,125 No, please. 372 00:20:00,385 --> 00:20:01,215 It's, it's all right. 373 00:20:01,215 --> 00:20:01,984 It's all right. 374 00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:03,385 You know, that's fine. 375 00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:10,370 And what I learned was, that I was denying that person the opportunity to give to me. 376 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,140 It's a big deal for patients 377 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:12,260 to 378 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:13,570 Dr. William T Choctaw, MD, JD: give to their physician. 379 00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:17,290 And I would, I would argue you can plug anything in that blank for 380 00:20:17,290 --> 00:20:22,020 physicians, minister, friend, caregiver church member, blah, blah, blah, blah. 381 00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:24,250 Giving is a joy. 382 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:27,070 And those of you, and most of us in this room, if not all of 383 00:20:27,070 --> 00:20:29,440 us do give, we know that joy. 384 00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:31,580 You volunteer for the food bank. 385 00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:32,150 You feel good. 386 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,990 You're tired at the end of the day. 387 00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,290 But you feel good. 388 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,590 You feel good because, oh, I saw Mrs. 389 00:20:37,590 --> 00:20:38,180 So and so, Mrs. 390 00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,760 So and so, and they were so happy, and you should have seen 391 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,820 the kids, and blah, blah, blah. 392 00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:42,950 It's a joy. 393 00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:46,100 And so my point is, let people give to you. 394 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,390 And when they give to you, just say thank you. 395 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,450 Just say thank you. 396 00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,340 Don't need to make a speech. 397 00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,370 Just say thank you. 398 00:20:56,085 --> 00:21:00,195 So always practice gratitude because believe it or not, when you give 399 00:21:00,195 --> 00:21:03,885 something out that's positive, you really do get that back. 400 00:21:04,235 --> 00:21:05,705 You really do get that back. 401 00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:07,305 Cut out the toxic stuff. 402 00:21:07,335 --> 00:21:09,625 Now that's, that's probably self explanatory. 403 00:21:09,995 --> 00:21:13,215 If you practice it or if you're around people who practice it, 404 00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:14,675 just sort of stay away from that. 405 00:21:14,935 --> 00:21:16,375 And that tends to be negative stuff. 406 00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:20,295 tearing people down, ridiculing people, et cetera, et cetera. 407 00:21:20,805 --> 00:21:24,575 And have a change of environment, you know, get in your car and 408 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,215 take a drive or take a walk. 409 00:21:26,645 --> 00:21:28,465 All those things are important. 410 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:33,425 Self care the ability to say no, and I won't go through all of this. 411 00:21:33,850 --> 00:21:36,420 But one of the things that I would tell my patients who would come in 412 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,650 who were very stressed, and sometimes patients would come in and I'd 413 00:21:39,650 --> 00:21:40,830 say, what's the problem with Dave? 414 00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:43,390 And they would talk for like 30 minutes. 415 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:46,140 And the reason is that they just wanted to talk to someone. 416 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,455 And many times, I would say to them, well, you know what? 417 00:21:51,095 --> 00:21:54,485 I think you need to develop the ability to say no. 418 00:21:54,715 --> 00:21:56,225 As simple as that appears. 419 00:21:56,405 --> 00:21:59,315 You just need to say no, because you're the go to person. 420 00:21:59,315 --> 00:22:01,705 You're the one that everybody comes to and says, can you do this for me? 421 00:22:01,725 --> 00:22:02,575 Can you do that for me? 422 00:22:02,775 --> 00:22:03,395 How about this? 423 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,825 How should, what should I do about this? 424 00:22:05,065 --> 00:22:06,325 I need you to come over here. 425 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,905 I need you to have, I need you to be a part of this meeting or this 426 00:22:09,255 --> 00:22:10,555 organization or this and this. 427 00:22:10,725 --> 00:22:12,395 And sometimes they'll say, you know what? 428 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:13,780 No, thank you. 429 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,160 I, I appreciate it. 430 00:22:15,370 --> 00:22:18,370 Next time, maybe I'll, I'll be able to help you or I'll be able to participate, 431 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,500 but I, I just need a little quiet time. 432 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:25,180 I just need to rest or what, whatever the words are, because a lot of times 433 00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:31,480 our stress is us trying to please too many people at the same time, and we 434 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,130 can't physically and mentally do it. 435 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,860 It's not that we don't wanna do it, but it's, but we have 436 00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:37,360 limits is what I'm trying to say. 437 00:22:37,570 --> 00:22:42,190 That we, humans have limitations and we have to recognize those limitations. 438 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:47,550 And to make things better, sleep, get more sleep. 439 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,810 Now, I'm a big believer in sleep, and I certainly have much more 440 00:22:50,810 --> 00:22:52,680 respect for sleep than I used to. 441 00:22:52,940 --> 00:22:56,050 And I say this parenthetically, we physicians, particularly 442 00:22:56,050 --> 00:22:58,270 we surgeons, pride ourselves. 443 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,030 Pride ourselves in not sleeping. 444 00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,390 We would brag about, well, how many hours of sleep did you get last night? 445 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,870 Well, I just got two and I did a six hour operation and blah, blah, blah. 446 00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:11,910 And, you know, that, that was an odd badge of courage. 447 00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:13,300 Stupidity! 448 00:23:13,930 --> 00:23:15,269 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 449 00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:16,270 Stupidity! 450 00:23:16,860 --> 00:23:18,270 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 451 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:23,020 Sleep is one of the most important gifts that God gives to us. 452 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:28,000 And, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out That the more rested 453 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,910 you are, the better you perform. 454 00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,810 But anyway, I, I, I digress. 455 00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:33,620 I digress. 456 00:23:33,990 --> 00:23:35,210 But, but true, true. 457 00:23:35,270 --> 00:23:37,120 I, you know, it's certainly true of surgeons. 458 00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:41,200 Now, obviously we had the job that where, where many times you, you don't 459 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,890 get a lot of sleep, but, but you want to get as much sleep as you can because 460 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:47,770 you can't nearly perform as well. 461 00:23:47,890 --> 00:23:50,220 And I used to pride myself, my goal was four hours. 462 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,050 I said, if I can get four hours, I can do it. 463 00:23:53,250 --> 00:23:54,530 I can do any operation. 464 00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:56,040 I can, I can drive anywhere. 465 00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:56,680 Don't know. 466 00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:59,190 If I get less than four hours, now, now I've got problems. 467 00:23:59,835 --> 00:24:00,615 Now, I've got problems. 468 00:24:01,105 --> 00:24:04,085 So my point is, don't have silly things like that. 469 00:24:04,325 --> 00:24:09,995 Just get your 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night, even if you are a 470 00:24:09,995 --> 00:24:12,355 surgeon, even if you are a surgeon. 471 00:24:12,645 --> 00:24:15,235 Now, I know sometimes you get calls in the middle of the night or whatever, 472 00:24:15,235 --> 00:24:17,325 but, but that, that should be your goal. 473 00:24:17,515 --> 00:24:21,415 Sleep, by the way, and we continue to learn about sleep, as I mentioned 474 00:24:21,445 --> 00:24:23,655 before, two things happen during sleep. 475 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,560 One is a process of the day's event. 476 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,000 Now you unconscious, right? 477 00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:32,110 You've cuddled up with your, your teddy bear or, you know, however 478 00:24:32,110 --> 00:24:33,270 you go to sleep or whatever. 479 00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,830 And, but, but your brain is still going. 480 00:24:36,270 --> 00:24:38,590 Your brain does not shut down when you sleep. 481 00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:39,840 You're unconscious. 482 00:24:40,495 --> 00:24:41,465 You don't know what's going on. 483 00:24:41,465 --> 00:24:42,165 You're sleeping. 484 00:24:42,405 --> 00:24:44,865 Your brain is going through everything you did that day. 485 00:24:45,135 --> 00:24:49,225 Organizing what it needs to organize, throwing out stuff you probably need 486 00:24:49,225 --> 00:24:54,165 to forget, you know, and setting you up and preparing for the next day. 487 00:24:54,365 --> 00:24:55,125 Think about that. 488 00:24:55,505 --> 00:25:00,565 Think about the amazing God made computer that does this sort of stuff, right? 489 00:25:01,415 --> 00:25:04,275 And the other part of that is restoration energy. 490 00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:07,620 Rest, rest, rest. 491 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:13,130 We all need rest, mental, physical, spiritual because once we get that 492 00:25:13,130 --> 00:25:17,930 rest, now we're ready when we wake up and the sun is rises to take on that 493 00:25:17,930 --> 00:25:20,450 next day and do the best job possible. 494 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:24,170 There are many different types of techniques you can 495 00:25:24,170 --> 00:25:25,450 practice to go to sleep. 496 00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:30,420 You know, some people like to do yoga, meditation some people play music it's 497 00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:32,090 suggested not to look at the clock. 498 00:25:32,090 --> 00:25:34,180 I must admit, I always look at the clock. 499 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,670 I always know what time I go to sleep. 500 00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:39,810 I always know what time I wake up. 501 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,810 I'm a clock type person. 502 00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:43,060 I'm just, I'm just that way. 503 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,870 I, you know, I tell people, I've said this before also. 504 00:25:46,205 --> 00:25:48,545 You know, if I have to be at a meeting, I'm going to get there 505 00:25:48,575 --> 00:25:50,625 early because I hate being late. 506 00:25:50,805 --> 00:25:52,335 I'm just one of those time people. 507 00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:53,785 And limit caffeine. 508 00:25:53,795 --> 00:25:55,035 Now, caffeine is interesting. 509 00:25:55,035 --> 00:25:57,415 Some people say, well, you know, I can't drink coffee at 510 00:25:57,415 --> 00:25:58,725 night because it keeps me awake. 511 00:25:59,055 --> 00:26:01,045 I can drink three cups of coffee a night. 512 00:26:01,325 --> 00:26:03,575 If I drink, let me, let me qualify. 513 00:26:03,575 --> 00:26:05,985 If I drink a watermelon coffee, right? 514 00:26:06,085 --> 00:26:09,905 If I drink, if I drink water, if I drink regular coffee, then it's not any good. 515 00:26:10,085 --> 00:26:12,495 But if I drink watermelon coffee, I can sleep like a baby. 516 00:26:12,885 --> 00:26:14,115 It doesn't matter. 517 00:26:14,135 --> 00:26:14,905 It doesn't matter. 518 00:26:15,135 --> 00:26:19,265 And so one of the things that you've heard people say, and I think 519 00:26:19,265 --> 00:26:23,275 it does sum up what we're saying today is pray more, worry less. 520 00:26:24,005 --> 00:26:26,555 You've heard that, you know, a lot of people say. 521 00:26:26,675 --> 00:26:27,915 And I think that's true. 522 00:26:27,985 --> 00:26:33,045 I think, I think simplicity many times is the essence of greatness. 523 00:26:33,630 --> 00:26:35,430 Pray more worry less. 524 00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:38,340 If I'm worrying, then that means I'm not praying enough. 525 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,460 And if I'm praying, that means I'm not really worried, right? 526 00:26:43,090 --> 00:26:46,600 Because at the end of the day, only you can take care of you. 527 00:26:47,430 --> 00:26:48,710 Only you can take care of you. 528 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:49,964 Other people can try to help. 529 00:26:50,385 --> 00:26:53,875 And they can give you advice, and they can say nice things to you. 530 00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:59,535 But it's ultimately your decision about how you feel and how you interreact. 531 00:26:59,885 --> 00:27:01,545 My opinion, okay? 532 00:27:02,135 --> 00:27:04,465 Be intentional about cell phone use. 533 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:06,295 Be intentional about cell phone use. 534 00:27:06,295 --> 00:27:12,605 Now I will admit, I will admit because my wife is in the room, I will admit, 535 00:27:12,775 --> 00:27:17,945 I'm one of those people that it took me a while to get to the smartphone. 536 00:27:18,545 --> 00:27:22,595 And when I say took me a while, there was a time when my wife and I were 537 00:27:22,595 --> 00:27:24,895 with the kids and the grandkids. 538 00:27:25,735 --> 00:27:29,885 These are grandkids from San Diego and I brought out my 539 00:27:29,885 --> 00:27:32,562 silver flip phone that I adored. 540 00:27:32,562 --> 00:27:34,348 I adored that phone. 541 00:27:34,348 --> 00:27:36,133 But it stopped working. 542 00:27:36,133 --> 00:27:41,934 I'd flip it on and I'd push the buttons and it wouldn't work. 543 00:27:41,934 --> 00:27:43,719 And my grandkids sing. 544 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:47,470 Grandpa, you know, what, what is it? 545 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,310 That was, you know, I said, it's my cell phone. 546 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,530 And my son, Preston, just laughed at me. 547 00:27:51,850 --> 00:27:55,350 But I couldn't get it fixed because they didn't have any more parts for that. 548 00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:56,640 And it was that old. 549 00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,320 I, I know it's, it's embarrassing, but it was that, but it, it was a 550 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,560 gorgeous phone and I, and I loved it. 551 00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:08,350 But, but anyway, anyway but so, so I, I, and I then gravitated to the iPhone thing. 552 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,065 But my point is, We can get to the point that the machinery controls us and 553 00:28:14,065 --> 00:28:18,185 we need, my personal opinion, we need to always be in control, not only of 554 00:28:18,185 --> 00:28:20,885 ourselves, but our environment around us. 555 00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:24,830 And that's where the pray more, worry less comes in. 556 00:28:24,850 --> 00:28:26,120 Can't control other people. 557 00:28:26,420 --> 00:28:28,050 Don't, don't even waste your time with it. 558 00:28:28,230 --> 00:28:29,890 It doesn't mean that you don't give advice. 559 00:28:29,890 --> 00:28:31,360 It doesn't mean that you don't help. 560 00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:34,460 But you can't control them, is what I'm trying to say. 561 00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:38,540 But, but so just, just be intentional about cell phone use. 562 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,505 That, that and there are different ways to do that, you know, you can 563 00:28:42,515 --> 00:28:44,365 turn it off certain times or whatever. 564 00:28:44,605 --> 00:28:48,264 Now, a lot of you have jobs where you are on call 24 7. 565 00:28:48,445 --> 00:28:51,275 I did that most of my life, I, I, I get that. 566 00:28:51,685 --> 00:28:53,535 But still, just, just be aware of that. 567 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,420 It starts with with our young people. 568 00:28:56,670 --> 00:29:01,630 And if you think that you are controlled by the cell phone, I guarantee you that 569 00:29:01,630 --> 00:29:03,850 the kids are even more controlled by it. 570 00:29:04,050 --> 00:29:06,230 And maybe control is too strong a word. 571 00:29:06,230 --> 00:29:07,660 And I'll admit that. 572 00:29:07,860 --> 00:29:10,170 And that may very well be one of my prejudices. 573 00:29:10,675 --> 00:29:11,895 But just be aware of it. 574 00:29:11,895 --> 00:29:12,915 Just be aware of it. 575 00:29:13,235 --> 00:29:17,605 Because when we get into the whole chatbot thing or the artificial intelligence 576 00:29:17,605 --> 00:29:22,035 thing, you may want to be able to have some, some distinction between 577 00:29:22,035 --> 00:29:26,815 what you do and what the, what, what, what the artificial intelligence does. 578 00:29:27,205 --> 00:29:29,485 And a lot of times you ask yourself, well, sort of what, what, 579 00:29:29,525 --> 00:29:30,775 what's wrong with this picture? 580 00:29:31,195 --> 00:29:34,535 You know, if you have three kids that are out in the, in the sun and 581 00:29:34,545 --> 00:29:38,595 beautiful grass, but everybody's got their face buried in a cell phone. 582 00:29:39,185 --> 00:29:41,995 I, you know, I'm going to leave it up for you to decide whether that's a 583 00:29:41,995 --> 00:29:47,485 good thing or not a good thing, but I'm just saying, be aware, be aware, right? 584 00:29:48,655 --> 00:29:49,675 Just about done. 585 00:29:50,125 --> 00:29:56,835 Matthew 18, 22 takes you in, in, and most of you know this, to a conversation that 586 00:29:56,835 --> 00:30:00,995 Jesus was having with his disciples where they were talking about forgiveness. 587 00:30:01,255 --> 00:30:07,165 And I have always believed that one of the most important gifts that we're 588 00:30:07,175 --> 00:30:10,705 given is the ability to forgive, you know and I think it's probably one 589 00:30:10,705 --> 00:30:12,375 of the ones that we use the least. 590 00:30:13,015 --> 00:30:16,465 I struggle with it and I think all of us struggle with it, but I 591 00:30:16,475 --> 00:30:18,085 think it's important, is my point. 592 00:30:18,455 --> 00:30:23,675 That one of the reasons why many times that we are stressed 593 00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:25,525 is the inability to forgive. 594 00:30:25,555 --> 00:30:28,765 Someone, again, cuts you off on the freeway, or says something to 595 00:30:28,775 --> 00:30:32,515 you in a meeting, or says something to you at work, or whatever, I'm 596 00:30:32,535 --> 00:30:34,984 just making up stuff let it go. 597 00:30:35,364 --> 00:30:36,104 Just let it go. 598 00:30:36,284 --> 00:30:37,534 Don't try to figure it out. 599 00:30:37,534 --> 00:30:37,619 Let it go. 600 00:30:37,819 --> 00:30:39,359 Because then you just get more upset. 601 00:30:40,109 --> 00:30:41,319 Why did he cut me off? 602 00:30:41,319 --> 00:30:42,469 I haven't done anything to him. 603 00:30:42,469 --> 00:30:43,039 I don't even know. 604 00:30:43,319 --> 00:30:44,369 Don't even go there. 605 00:30:44,429 --> 00:30:44,879 Don't even go. 606 00:30:44,879 --> 00:30:48,749 Just say, God bless you or whatever you want, but just forgive. 607 00:30:49,009 --> 00:30:49,639 Just forgive. 608 00:30:50,129 --> 00:30:53,749 That if you were able to do that then that would just be one less thing 609 00:30:53,749 --> 00:30:55,289 that you have to be concerned about. 610 00:30:55,779 --> 00:31:01,119 So as you look at your new year and as you look at this year being better than 611 00:31:01,199 --> 00:31:04,209 last year, because I think every new year should be better than the last. 612 00:31:04,669 --> 00:31:09,509 I think we should always grow, and that's what I consider growth to be that, that, 613 00:31:09,509 --> 00:31:14,469 that we look at being more well that we look at taking better care of ourselves 614 00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:20,029 mentally, physically, and spiritually that we forgive and that we all practice this. 615 00:31:20,279 --> 00:31:21,119 being well. 616 00:31:21,609 --> 00:31:24,109 I always like to end with my basic principles that I've said it 617 00:31:24,109 --> 00:31:26,049 before, but that God is in charge. 618 00:31:26,339 --> 00:31:29,569 And again, worry more, I mean, worry less and pray more. 619 00:31:29,889 --> 00:31:30,969 No bad days. 620 00:31:30,969 --> 00:31:32,069 I don't have bad days. 621 00:31:32,069 --> 00:31:33,969 I got rid of them about 30 years ago. 622 00:31:34,289 --> 00:31:37,904 Cause I figured the days were only good were only bad if I said they were. 623 00:31:38,334 --> 00:31:42,224 That I define what my days were, just like you define what your days are. 624 00:31:42,504 --> 00:31:44,314 Why in the world would you want to have a bad day? 625 00:31:44,924 --> 00:31:45,424 I don't. 626 00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:46,434 So get rid of them. 627 00:31:46,634 --> 00:31:47,734 Just, just get rid of them. 628 00:31:48,074 --> 00:31:51,284 You'll be amazed if you change your life to the extent that 629 00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:52,744 you never have another bad day. 630 00:31:52,774 --> 00:31:53,494 Think about that. 631 00:31:53,814 --> 00:31:57,884 Think about that awesome power that, that, that God has given 632 00:31:57,884 --> 00:31:59,184 us to say, you know what? 633 00:31:59,444 --> 00:32:01,704 Things, things are good and, and you embrace that. 634 00:32:02,204 --> 00:32:03,464 Don't sweat the small stuff. 635 00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:04,784 Most stuff is small. 636 00:32:05,134 --> 00:32:08,094 I've said this before also, the most of the times I've figured out 637 00:32:08,464 --> 00:32:12,184 that when I get upset or about to get upset about something, over 638 00:32:12,184 --> 00:32:14,624 90 percent of the time I am wrong. 639 00:32:15,154 --> 00:32:19,544 Not 50 50, 65 45, 90 percent of the time. 640 00:32:19,904 --> 00:32:22,114 So it's not even worth it, right? 641 00:32:22,264 --> 00:32:24,404 So I said, just let that go. 642 00:32:24,434 --> 00:32:26,124 I mean, that just didn't make sense. 643 00:32:26,669 --> 00:32:29,399 As I mentioned before, forgiveness really is therapy. 644 00:32:30,089 --> 00:32:32,069 You want to give a treatment to yourself? 645 00:32:32,519 --> 00:32:33,879 Just go around forgiving folks. 646 00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:36,849 Forget those folks that irritate you or bother you. 647 00:32:37,349 --> 00:32:39,389 And finally, everything is a relationship. 648 00:32:39,399 --> 00:32:41,229 Relationships are based on three things. 649 00:32:41,529 --> 00:32:45,399 Mutual respect, mutual trust, good communication. 650 00:32:45,629 --> 00:32:48,579 If you have those three things, you have a good relationship. 651 00:32:48,924 --> 00:32:51,174 If you do not, you've got work to do. 652 00:32:52,184 --> 00:32:55,674 This Masterclass series is also in podcast form. 653 00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:59,724 I would encourage you, if you want to be able to go back and review these 654 00:32:59,724 --> 00:33:03,324 series and many others to go to patron. 655 00:33:03,844 --> 00:33:05,214 podbean. 656 00:33:05,264 --> 00:33:08,134 com forward slash h w w p. 657 00:33:08,514 --> 00:33:11,204 And that's the Health and Wealth and Wives podcast with Dr. 658 00:33:11,204 --> 00:33:11,714 Choctaw. 659 00:33:12,094 --> 00:33:17,804 And we have done over 40 podcasts in the last year or so and you would be 660 00:33:17,804 --> 00:33:19,984 able to get more of this information. 661 00:33:20,304 --> 00:33:23,604 And finally, be the change you want to see in the world. 662 00:33:23,804 --> 00:33:24,934 Are there any questions? 663 00:33:25,234 --> 00:33:25,684 Yes, sir. 664 00:33:29,524 --> 00:33:32,304 Oh, help, help, self help and self care are basically the same. 665 00:33:32,504 --> 00:33:33,234 Any other questions? 666 00:33:34,094 --> 00:33:34,784 Okay. 667 00:33:35,424 --> 00:33:38,004 Yeah, any questions from, from, from the Zoom audience? 668 00:33:39,069 --> 00:33:44,149 While we're waiting, I would encourage you to to really listen to us on podcasts. 669 00:33:45,049 --> 00:33:47,359 There'll be some very interesting interviews. 670 00:33:47,829 --> 00:33:53,109 The distinguished Reverend John Nickens is one of those interviewees, and you'll 671 00:33:53,109 --> 00:33:58,069 learn about all of his secrets and why he's the great person that he is, well, 672 00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,870 try not to fall asleep on that one. 673 00:33:59,870 --> 00:34:03,990 Oh, I, oh, Reverend Nickens, are you with us? 674 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,220 Always. 675 00:34:06,610 --> 00:34:08,280 Thank you so much for joining us. 676 00:34:08,950 --> 00:34:12,370 But other people that have been interviewed are Pastor Dockery, 677 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:16,440 Tony Dockery is one of the persons interviewed, Sister Lorena 678 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,940 Chalkshaw has been interviewed. 679 00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:20,500 You really don't want to miss the podcast. 680 00:34:20,870 --> 00:34:23,269 So again, go to podbean. 681 00:34:23,309 --> 00:34:23,679 com. 682 00:34:23,689 --> 00:34:28,380 You can download the app in your app store, the Podbean app, and 683 00:34:28,380 --> 00:34:29,900 you can access all the podcasts. 684 00:34:32,390 --> 00:34:36,950 If there is nothing else, again, I want to thank you for being with us today and 685 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:39,450 wish you a very, very happy new year. 686 00:34:39,759 --> 00:34:44,350 And we'd like to ask Pastor Rivas to come and dismiss us with a word of prayer. 687 00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:47,990 It's okay. 688 00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:50,180 We're family here. 689 00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:52,530 Amen. 690 00:34:53,010 --> 00:34:53,440 Thank you, Dr. 691 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,340 Jackow, for helping us. 692 00:34:56,710 --> 00:34:57,080 Amen. 693 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,660 And helping us too. 694 00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:02,660 Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day. 695 00:35:03,110 --> 00:35:03,940 You've given us a lot. 696 00:35:04,290 --> 00:35:07,010 We understand that this is the day that you have made. 697 00:35:07,350 --> 00:35:11,069 And it is our choice, oh Lord God, to enjoy it, to delight in 698 00:35:11,070 --> 00:35:13,389 it, and to have dominion over it. 699 00:35:13,740 --> 00:35:15,129 For you even made it for us. 700 00:35:15,765 --> 00:35:17,835 Oh God, not us for this day. 701 00:35:18,015 --> 00:35:20,715 Therefore, Lord God, to you, we'll give you all the praise. 702 00:35:21,455 --> 00:35:23,765 I thank you for the life of Dr. 703 00:35:24,515 --> 00:35:28,835 Au, his ministry, Lord God, his family, and for the opportunity you've 704 00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:33,875 given us, Lord God, to enjoy him and to be bene beneficiary of his now. 705 00:35:34,505 --> 00:35:36,665 Thank you for all the people who participated. 706 00:35:36,825 --> 00:35:39,165 Give us that, what we have heard. 707 00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:40,755 That power, oh Lord God. 708 00:35:41,255 --> 00:35:46,555 For even you said that you have given us not a spirit of powerness, but of 709 00:35:46,805 --> 00:35:49,465 power, of love, and of a sound mind. 710 00:35:49,714 --> 00:35:55,354 In the name of Jesus, let us be that light, being healthy, being well. 711 00:35:55,554 --> 00:35:56,785 In your name we pray. 712 00:35:57,275 --> 00:35:57,705 Amen. 713 00:35:58,365 --> 00:35:58,465 Amen.