Navigating Life’s Crescendo with Rudy Chavarria Wisdom

1 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:01,340 Dr. William T. Choctaw: My birthday. 2 00:00:01,910 --> 00:00:06,980 Oh, and so it's always been my favorite holiday, obviously, for the year. 3 00:00:07,420 --> 00:00:07,629 Absolutely. 4 00:00:08,010 --> 00:00:13,110 I have two sons between us, two on each side, two on my side and two on her side. 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:18,599 And on my side my youngest son with his three kids, who are all boys, 6 00:00:19,199 --> 00:00:23,160 came up a few days before Christmas and spent some time with us. 7 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:29,235 And then this past week on her side our son and, and daughter in law and two kids 8 00:00:29,235 --> 00:00:31,585 came and spent the whole week with us. 9 00:00:32,105 --> 00:00:33,815 And they just left yesterday. 10 00:00:34,595 --> 00:00:40,385 So we, we, we've sort of had a whirlwind type of period of time to say the least. 11 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:46,895 Well, listen, I am very grateful and appreciative of you taking out of 12 00:00:46,905 --> 00:00:51,125 your busy schedule to spend a couple of times with us and my hope is 13 00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:53,265 that we can do this more than once. 14 00:00:53,765 --> 00:00:58,105 I just think that this is an important title in terms of the work 15 00:00:58,105 --> 00:01:02,745 that you do and the work that you do with, with, with young people. 16 00:01:04,225 --> 00:01:08,765 So what, what I'll do, I'll just sort of, I'll throw out some general questions 17 00:01:08,765 --> 00:01:13,535 that, that we ask, and then we'll go into the formal, into the formal interview. 18 00:01:13,905 --> 00:01:17,735 I used to start off with just sort of asking the interviewee to talk about 19 00:01:17,735 --> 00:01:21,515 themselves, you know, whatever you want to tell about your background, 20 00:01:21,555 --> 00:01:23,125 I'll leave that completely up to you. 21 00:01:23,615 --> 00:01:23,795 Okay. 22 00:01:24,425 --> 00:01:29,975 Then I'll have you tell me about what you do, you know, what what college mentors 23 00:01:29,975 --> 00:01:33,085 are and what, what does that mean exactly? 24 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,400 And then usually, I usually end up with the, on the other side 25 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,340 about what, what lessons learned. 26 00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:43,110 What, what have you learned over these years of doing what you do? 27 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,280 And then if you have any advice that you would give to others, and 28 00:01:47,510 --> 00:01:52,075 those are usually the Three or four different questions that I sort of 29 00:01:52,085 --> 00:01:53,915 structure all the interviews around. 30 00:01:54,275 --> 00:01:57,435 But we, but there, there's no set way to do this. 31 00:01:57,475 --> 00:01:59,095 We can do it the way you want. 32 00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:05,115 And I think that free flow per interviewee is what adds to the richness 33 00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:07,015 of these types of interreactions. 34 00:02:07,645 --> 00:02:07,815 So 35 00:02:07,815 --> 00:02:09,266 Rudy: does that make sense? 36 00:02:09,266 --> 00:02:09,740 Absolutely. 37 00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:10,213 Absolutely. 38 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:15,051 If I can, if I can preface this by saying if the dog starts to yap or 39 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:16,741 something and I have to excuse myself. 40 00:02:17,461 --> 00:02:20,141 Just for a second, because our son is still asleep. 41 00:02:20,231 --> 00:02:22,441 I already woke him and told him I was doing an interview. 42 00:02:23,031 --> 00:02:24,251 I already took the dog out. 43 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:29,501 Sorry, now that fed him to let you know, 44 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:33,231 Dr. William T. Choctaw: but we basically go with the flow. 45 00:02:33,231 --> 00:02:39,301 I have a very good chief production officer named Jesse Hammons, and 46 00:02:39,301 --> 00:02:42,741 he can get rid of any sound that we don't want him to interview. 47 00:02:42,741 --> 00:02:44,431 So it's not a problem. 48 00:02:44,971 --> 00:02:45,421 Okay. 49 00:02:46,251 --> 00:02:50,041 Welcome ladies and gentlemen, again, to the Health and Wealth and Wise podcast. 50 00:02:50,071 --> 00:02:51,631 We're absolutely delighted. 51 00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:57,151 Absolutely delighted to have a very special guest with us Mr. 52 00:02:57,151 --> 00:03:02,081 Rudy Chavarria and he's going to talk about, he's going to talk about some 53 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:06,111 exciting things that he's doing that quite honestly, I had never heard of, 54 00:03:06,381 --> 00:03:09,746 you know, as a formal type of activity. 55 00:03:09,746 --> 00:03:12,461 And so I'm learning along with our audience. 56 00:03:12,471 --> 00:03:13,671 So welcome, Rudy. 57 00:03:14,046 --> 00:03:14,586 Rudy: Thank you. 58 00:03:14,616 --> 00:03:15,456 It's a pleasure to be here. 59 00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:18,006 It's an honor to to be in your presence, Dr. 60 00:03:18,396 --> 00:03:18,996 Choctaw. 61 00:03:19,516 --> 00:03:25,316 For all the viewers and listeners to talk about my background I actually met Dr. 62 00:03:25,316 --> 00:03:28,046 Choctaw back in 1985. 63 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:33,626 I would just graduate as a high school senior, and I was working with peer 64 00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,076 counseling at Walnut High School. 65 00:03:36,256 --> 00:03:44,096 I actually started it there, and I, we got invited by public TV at the local Walnut 66 00:03:44,096 --> 00:03:49,046 TV station, and it was our principal, Donald, Donald Skraba, who asked me 67 00:03:49,426 --> 00:03:55,496 if I wanted to participate in, in this discussion about drugs and teens and such, 68 00:03:55,726 --> 00:04:01,636 and that's when I first and you, you had such a profound impact on me back then in 69 00:04:01,636 --> 00:04:10,216 85 and that when I saw you at this event in November, I immediately recognized you 70 00:04:10,686 --> 00:04:16,306 because you just made such an impact on my life in very little time I had known 71 00:04:16,316 --> 00:04:20,266 you and then, you know, driving around locally and seeing your doctor's office 72 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:24,866 with your name, I just always knew you and I just always, yeah, it was brilliant. 73 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:25,656 So. 74 00:04:26,191 --> 00:04:30,931 To start way back I I always wanted to be in the entertainment industry, but 75 00:04:30,931 --> 00:04:34,491 I did not have a, have a direction. 76 00:04:35,711 --> 00:04:42,261 And so, and I'd always been a people person and that's why and I'd 77 00:04:42,261 --> 00:04:43,621 always been in student government. 78 00:04:44,611 --> 00:04:48,711 And when I graduated, well, at high school, I went to Mount 79 00:04:48,711 --> 00:04:52,691 San Antonio college, I had no idea what I was going for. 80 00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,061 I just wanted to be in the business. 81 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:57,031 I was in a band, we were writing songs. 82 00:04:57,681 --> 00:05:00,961 And I, I just dropped out of Mt. 83 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:03,701 SAC because I had no direction. 84 00:05:03,711 --> 00:05:07,651 I had no no no guidance. 85 00:05:08,626 --> 00:05:11,206 I didn't even know who to go to and the counselors that I spoke to 86 00:05:11,206 --> 00:05:14,436 at the time just were like, okay, this is, what do you want to do? 87 00:05:14,636 --> 00:05:16,186 Well, I'm thinking about this, this. 88 00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:18,536 All right, well, you need to take these general ed courses. 89 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:22,666 This is what you do for the semester and come back and visit us during the summer. 90 00:05:22,676 --> 00:05:25,646 It was more, you know, like, and frankly, it's still that way. 91 00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:26,346 Colors. 92 00:05:28,831 --> 00:05:33,821 And so from there, I kind of floundered a bit, went from job to job, and it was 93 00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:41,951 in 1987 that a friend of mine she was a student of psychology at UCLA and she 94 00:05:41,951 --> 00:05:44,041 was working a summer job at Home Depot. 95 00:05:45,091 --> 00:05:47,811 She said to me, you know, Rudy, if you want to be in the entertainment industry, 96 00:05:47,811 --> 00:05:49,461 what are you doing working at Home Depot? 97 00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:52,841 And I was just like, oh my God, yeah, what am I doing? 98 00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:55,941 So I quit Home Depot, got a job at Chili's to bust some. 99 00:05:56,476 --> 00:05:57,856 Tables become a food service. 100 00:05:57,866 --> 00:06:01,266 So during the day I could go look for work in the industry. 101 00:06:02,056 --> 00:06:07,466 And and then I ended up getting a job at A& M records and it 102 00:06:07,946 --> 00:06:09,066 pretty much started there. 103 00:06:09,876 --> 00:06:13,926 And then I went to a school called Musicians Institute in 104 00:06:13,926 --> 00:06:18,916 Hollywood, the VIT program to teach vocals and learn how to sing. 105 00:06:19,506 --> 00:06:23,796 And it was there that I got into internships there through MI 106 00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,316 for Warren Chapel publishing. 107 00:06:26,411 --> 00:06:32,751 GIant Records, Warner Brother Records, and then I started my own independent record 108 00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:37,831 company, and then my independent record company, I was making money, working with 109 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:43,341 a bunch of ska punk bands out of Orange County, and I ended up shutting that down, 110 00:06:43,341 --> 00:06:50,951 but in the process, and this was during 95, 93, 93 to 95, I shut it down and I 111 00:06:50,951 --> 00:06:55,371 got a lot of people starting to ask me if I would market their materials because, 112 00:06:55,421 --> 00:06:59,691 or their product, because they saw my flyers everywhere, stickers, posters. 113 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:03,991 And this is before the internet, and email was just starting. 114 00:07:05,111 --> 00:07:05,141 So 115 00:07:05,181 --> 00:07:06,891 Dr. William T. Choctaw: you started your own business, you 116 00:07:06,891 --> 00:07:10,131 went from working at Home Depot to starting your own record company. 117 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:11,451 Yes. 118 00:07:14,611 --> 00:07:19,901 Rudy: And this is when, to, what started me was my confidence. 119 00:07:20,996 --> 00:07:26,566 What started me, or started my confidence was the fact that I had done internships. 120 00:07:27,386 --> 00:07:29,896 And I tell all college students and all high school students, 121 00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:33,186 if you want to get involved in something, start an internship. 122 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,266 Start shadowing somebody immediately, whether you want to be a doctor 123 00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,466 or you want to go work with NASA. 124 00:07:38,616 --> 00:07:42,936 As a matter of fact, over the weekend I was talking to a girl who's part 125 00:07:42,936 --> 00:07:47,726 of the family and told her she wants to be an aerospace engineer. 126 00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:52,556 And I said, well, you need to get involved now for two reasons. 127 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,246 One, you need to start networking, which is really important. 128 00:07:56,646 --> 00:07:59,776 And number two, you need to find out of whether or not this is 129 00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:03,576 really what you like and really what you think it is all about. 130 00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:07,506 Because a lot of what I do now, counseling with college students. 131 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:13,686 They realize this isn't what I want to do, but they're so far in to 132 00:08:13,686 --> 00:08:18,246 their education that they have no choice but to keep going with it. 133 00:08:18,686 --> 00:08:23,386 And in some cases, a lot of parents tell their children, if you don't 134 00:08:23,396 --> 00:08:26,056 do this, if you don't become that doctor, if you don't become that 135 00:08:26,056 --> 00:08:30,356 lawyer, we're not paying for your education, which is, which is horrible. 136 00:08:31,146 --> 00:08:33,856 So again, internships. 137 00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:38,986 At any age or shadowing somebody at any age, high school, definitely 138 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:45,786 college is is something that I feel really helps people decide what 139 00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,116 they want to do with their career. 140 00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:51,316 And this is where I see, I see as a counselor now that 141 00:08:51,316 --> 00:08:53,256 it funnels down into life. 142 00:08:55,406 --> 00:08:56,966 And what I mean by that is. 143 00:08:58,556 --> 00:09:02,556 If you're going to do something for the rest of your life and you're miserable, it 144 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,886 will funnel down into your personal life. 145 00:09:04,946 --> 00:09:06,316 It just will. 146 00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,876 If, because you're not happy, so you look for happiness somewhere else, whether you 147 00:09:09,886 --> 00:09:13,236 start to have infidelity in your marriage. 148 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:20,256 Or you're just a verbally or physically abusive husband or father, or you 149 00:09:20,256 --> 00:09:23,026 start drinking alcohol or drugs. 150 00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:25,306 You're just unhappy. 151 00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:30,106 So I try to tell students now, hey, look, you need to do what's going to 152 00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:33,876 make you happy, or this is the path you are most likely going to go to. 153 00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:36,706 And even, you know, of course, you know, depression, 154 00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:36,976 Dr. William T. Choctaw: so. 155 00:09:37,556 --> 00:09:40,606 Well, when I was growing up, I, I grew up in Nashville, Tennessee, 156 00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:43,826 and, and I was just thinking about what you said about the importance of 157 00:09:43,826 --> 00:09:47,146 internship, and, and I never really thought about it until you just said it. 158 00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:53,261 But I remember, at least in Nashville, local colleges would have, like, 159 00:09:53,261 --> 00:09:57,371 summer programs where they would invite high school students who were 160 00:09:57,381 --> 00:10:01,101 interested in certain areas to do, I don't know, three or four weeks 161 00:10:01,121 --> 00:10:03,471 or a month in those summer programs. 162 00:10:03,631 --> 00:10:07,701 Now, I'm sure it was a recruitment process for them, but I think, going 163 00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:12,416 by what you said, For the student, for us, it was invaluable because it did 164 00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:16,606 give us an idea about what it might be like on the other side of that 165 00:10:16,606 --> 00:10:18,776 fence and, and, and give you ideas. 166 00:10:18,776 --> 00:10:20,156 Is this really what you wanted? 167 00:10:20,176 --> 00:10:21,436 Don't, what's not what you want? 168 00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:22,166 And that sort of thing. 169 00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:26,006 I think that's next is, is what I'm trying to say. 170 00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:28,926 And I think a lot of us don't even think about that. 171 00:10:30,036 --> 00:10:30,506 Rudy: Yeah. 172 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:32,926 Kind of a jettison a bit. 173 00:10:33,356 --> 00:10:34,906 I've run into so many different. 174 00:10:36,126 --> 00:10:41,776 Doctors, lawyers in my profession, and and throughout life that they have told me 175 00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:47,876 that really good doctors and really good lawyers have told me, and you can tell 176 00:10:47,876 --> 00:10:52,936 what I mean because you can tell they just love what they do, and I'm staying with 177 00:10:52,946 --> 00:10:58,336 doctors and lawyers as a topic subject right now, but those really good ones, 178 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:02,886 after I explain what I'm telling you and your audience, they themselves have said. 179 00:11:03,221 --> 00:11:07,501 Yeah, I've run into a lot of doctors and a lot of other lawyers that they 180 00:11:07,581 --> 00:11:13,161 absolutely hate what they do, but they do it because they're so involved and 181 00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:19,471 so in debt and they have a lifestyle and it's just like, my gosh, I had no idea. 182 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:24,441 And then I think to myself, as a, as, as doctors who are surgeons 183 00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:27,771 and, and you're, you're performing these services on people who. 184 00:11:28,691 --> 00:11:32,901 who really need your help, you know, and you hate what you do. 185 00:11:32,911 --> 00:11:34,761 I mean, yes, many of 186 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,871 Dr. William T. Choctaw: them feel trapped going back to your previous work, whether 187 00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:43,091 it's by mom or dad, or whatever the circumstances are, and they can't get out. 188 00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:46,911 You know, I, I, I was in medical school, yeah, with, with students 189 00:11:46,911 --> 00:11:48,251 who wanted to be musicians. 190 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,446 They said, I don't want to come to medical 191 00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:50,906 Rudy: school. 192 00:11:50,906 --> 00:11:53,146 I 193 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,666 Dr. William T. Choctaw: don't want to play in a band, I want to play in a symphony. 194 00:11:56,436 --> 00:12:01,716 And I didn't appreciate it as much then as I do now. 195 00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:05,916 To your point, that once you're stuck as an adult, or feel stuck 196 00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:09,906 as an adult, you are miserable, and not only are you miserable, you 197 00:12:09,906 --> 00:12:11,536 make everybody around you miserable. 198 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:16,831 Rudy: Yes, that that negative energy spreads like wildfire to the point to 199 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:24,911 to if I if I may even militarily, they tell you, or you ask any drill sergeant, 200 00:12:25,231 --> 00:12:29,151 they'll tell you if there's a sign of fear, any one of their soldiers. 201 00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:33,911 Immediately they take them out of combat and remove them because that stuff 202 00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:39,111 spreads quickly to all of the soldiers and then the machine doesn't work anymore. 203 00:12:39,471 --> 00:12:40,341 It just starts. 204 00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:40,851 Yeah. 205 00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:43,181 And so, but that's with everything in life. 206 00:12:43,181 --> 00:12:46,071 So yeah, I mean, yeah. 207 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:49,201 So that just that negative energy, that bad energy 208 00:12:50,641 --> 00:12:52,391 Dr. William T. Choctaw: let me ask you another question before you go on. 209 00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:55,186 I have, and this is just me and you can help me with this. 210 00:12:55,856 --> 00:13:00,966 All of my life I was, I was told by my mother quite young, the 211 00:13:00,966 --> 00:13:02,446 importance of going to medical school. 212 00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:04,676 So I've always thought medical school. 213 00:13:05,006 --> 00:13:10,956 But in general, I felt that counselors, and this is just me, were not 214 00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:17,196 always as supportive of students to do what the student wants to do. 215 00:13:17,206 --> 00:13:19,576 I'm talking about students who want to go to college. 216 00:13:19,911 --> 00:13:23,471 Or go to medical school or law school, and they said, Well, I don't know, you should 217 00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:25,701 probably think about blah, blah, blah. 218 00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:28,771 And, and, and I don't know whether it's just, just my own 219 00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:30,681 prejudice, which may be true. 220 00:13:31,031 --> 00:13:35,381 But I just never felt, or I felt that they were not nearly as helpful as they 221 00:13:35,391 --> 00:13:38,171 should be to get students into college. 222 00:13:38,201 --> 00:13:40,601 Because I have this thing about getting people into college. 223 00:13:40,911 --> 00:13:44,961 And I, I, I felt, and you can correct me here, that that's particularly 224 00:13:44,961 --> 00:13:46,041 true with minority students. 225 00:13:46,831 --> 00:13:47,681 Rudy: Absolutely. 226 00:13:47,931 --> 00:13:48,651 Absolutely. 227 00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:57,421 And so I'm 57 years old and you and I kind of are within the same generation of, you 228 00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,751 know, there's no Archie Bunkers anymore. 229 00:14:00,091 --> 00:14:01,791 You know, it's not politically correct. 230 00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:06,041 There's, there's no more of, of there's no more Fred Sanford's. 231 00:14:07,811 --> 00:14:08,221 Yeah. 232 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:12,561 And for those of those of you who are a younger audience, these are, these are 233 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,811 characters in TV shows that were very. 234 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:21,601 They would push the limit as far as, you know, the LGBT, the, the race? 235 00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:22,081 Yes. 236 00:14:22,201 --> 00:14:22,891 I mean, oh boy. 237 00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:27,921 You know, they just would be up in arms in today's 2024. 238 00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:32,331 But in 19 72, 19 74, it was just the norm. 239 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:32,801 Yeah. 240 00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:36,641 And so I wanna preface this by answer, by by saying that we come 241 00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:39,641 from that generation where it's not that it was accepted, it was 242 00:14:39,641 --> 00:14:41,471 just like, ah, it is what it is. 243 00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:45,826 You know, we were moving forward and as a minority myself, my mother's 244 00:14:45,906 --> 00:14:51,806 Native American Spaniard and my dad is Mexican and my wife is full blooded 245 00:14:51,806 --> 00:14:54,116 Japanese because her mom is Japanese. 246 00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:59,186 Her parents actually were in the Manzanar camp during World War II. 247 00:14:59,686 --> 00:15:00,031 Yeah. 248 00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:02,306 And her aunt was born in Manzanar. 249 00:15:03,196 --> 00:15:07,226 She just turned, she just turned 80 and and then her dad is from Mexico. 250 00:15:07,226 --> 00:15:09,006 So yeah, definitely a lot of prejudice. 251 00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:17,781 And yes, counselors, including back then, and I'd have to say even now there is 252 00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:20,131 prejudice and it's not so much anymore. 253 00:15:20,151 --> 00:15:24,281 I think of course, I'm not 19 to 23 anymore and I don't talk to counselors. 254 00:15:24,976 --> 00:15:30,266 But from what I see everything's changed in the generation now which I love you 255 00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:36,086 know, you can talk to a 15, 16 year old, or 18 year old, and they'll just be 256 00:15:36,086 --> 00:15:42,666 like, eh, LGBT, no big deal, as opposed to when I was 15, 16, you know, ooh, 257 00:15:42,686 --> 00:15:47,936 that guy, ooh, that girl, or, but now this generation is like, eh, whatever, 258 00:15:47,936 --> 00:15:52,086 who's, who's winning the game, or hey, well, did you see that, that TikTok 259 00:15:52,086 --> 00:15:56,906 video, and nobody Kind of cares anymore because it's being so much more accepted 260 00:15:57,506 --> 00:16:03,076 and and God bless that definitely God bless it and to take it a step further 261 00:16:03,686 --> 00:16:09,236 before I talk about the prejudice with counselors to take it a step further. 262 00:16:09,496 --> 00:16:13,456 One of the main reasons why I was so compelled to start 263 00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,876 college with mentor was. 264 00:16:16,996 --> 00:16:22,156 You know, you get all that negative energy and then you compounded from 265 00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:26,186 negative from from counselors peers. 266 00:16:26,496 --> 00:16:26,786 Yes. 267 00:16:27,101 --> 00:16:32,981 Society, and that if you are a minority you get it from your friends. 268 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:39,441 Yeah, and, and it's what's interesting and even the younger people who are 269 00:16:39,671 --> 00:16:43,721 viewing this, you know what we're talking about because you can be in sixth grade. 270 00:16:44,151 --> 00:16:47,561 And you can just tell people don't like you when you walk into a room and 271 00:16:47,561 --> 00:16:49,201 you've never even said anything to them. 272 00:16:50,221 --> 00:16:53,271 And it's the same thing as when you're 40 years old and you walk 273 00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:57,381 into an executive meeting and you can still feel that nobody likes you. 274 00:16:58,311 --> 00:17:00,741 So I guess what I'm saying is get used to it, guys. 275 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:08,601 It's not going away, but here's, here's my, my punchline is all of 276 00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:14,701 that energy that's bad and prejudice can really push a human being to 277 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,911 the point where you're suicidal. 278 00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:21,511 And I've had a few friends of mine who have been, who have killed themselves. 279 00:17:22,181 --> 00:17:26,381 One who was 17, one who was 22, another one who was 54, and these 280 00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:28,831 were all close to me people. 281 00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:33,311 And the common denominator in every one of them was there was something 282 00:17:33,311 --> 00:17:37,521 that they felt that tore apart their self confidence, their self confidence, 283 00:17:37,521 --> 00:17:42,481 then trickled down to their self worth and their reason for living. 284 00:17:44,661 --> 00:17:45,451 And that was it. 285 00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:49,301 And once you cross that line mentally, that, that's it. 286 00:17:49,941 --> 00:17:56,551 Then it becomes painful, and the pain then turns into anxiety, and then the 287 00:17:56,551 --> 00:18:02,091 anxiety is, I think, what exacerbates the depression towards physically 288 00:18:02,091 --> 00:18:04,321 painful, because you're getting anxious. 289 00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:10,491 And then that's when, when one of the people that I know, she was 17, 290 00:18:10,491 --> 00:18:13,941 who said, I just can't stand the pain, and I could never understand 291 00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:15,021 what she was talking about. 292 00:18:15,646 --> 00:18:20,986 But being someone myself who went through an anxiety period, at that point as 293 00:18:20,986 --> 00:18:24,846 I was going through my anxiety and my panic attacks, my anxiety attacks, I 294 00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:26,996 knew exactly what she was talking about. 295 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:32,236 Now I was never suicidal, but I knew what she was talking about now. 296 00:18:32,926 --> 00:18:33,736 anD so I got it. 297 00:18:33,876 --> 00:18:34,646 I got it. 298 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:35,326 Totally got it. 299 00:18:36,161 --> 00:18:40,181 Again, to go back to your statement of prejudice from counselors, 300 00:18:40,861 --> 00:18:43,981 especially people you think are there to help you, they get 301 00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:44,011 Dr. William T. Choctaw: paid. 302 00:18:44,671 --> 00:18:49,551 So it ends up being a double whammy, you know, you think they're there to help you. 303 00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:52,571 And so you tend to put more emphasis on what they say. 304 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,691 But either because of their limitation, mentally, psychologically, 305 00:18:57,401 --> 00:18:59,291 or whatever, Or their jealousy. 306 00:19:00,101 --> 00:19:01,011 Or jealousy. 307 00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:01,711 You 308 00:19:01,711 --> 00:19:05,171 Rudy: can feel when someone's jealous of you, even when they're older than you. 309 00:19:05,181 --> 00:19:06,951 You just feel like, wow, really? 310 00:19:07,631 --> 00:19:12,321 I looked up to you and now you're And I went through that when I was at school 311 00:19:12,321 --> 00:19:17,151 at Musicians Institute because people were telling me I was really good. 312 00:19:17,561 --> 00:19:21,921 And I, and it started to get around in school, of course, this was back 313 00:19:21,921 --> 00:19:27,181 then and there were like two or three different teachers that I could just, 314 00:19:27,181 --> 00:19:30,261 they would look at me and I could just feel that they didn't want me to 315 00:19:30,261 --> 00:19:32,821 succeed because they weren't succeeding. 316 00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:38,451 And whether it's Musicians Institute, UCLA, USC Cal State Fullerton, Harvard, 317 00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:42,121 it didn't matter because there will always be those types of people. 318 00:19:42,121 --> 00:19:43,681 So it's, it's important. 319 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,786 To get back to your statement on that. 320 00:19:45,786 --> 00:19:46,886 Definitely prejudice. 321 00:19:46,946 --> 00:19:47,666 Definitely. 322 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,116 And the people that I talked that I've brought up who are 323 00:19:50,126 --> 00:19:52,276 suicidal, they weren't in mind. 324 00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:53,516 They weren't just minority. 325 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,296 Some of them were. 326 00:19:55,781 --> 00:19:59,951 Jewish Christian white, black African American. 327 00:20:01,051 --> 00:20:06,261 So it, it goes beyond, it transcends color, transcends all of that. 328 00:20:06,681 --> 00:20:13,541 And I love to, to, to think that like, I play a trick with when I do go guest 329 00:20:13,571 --> 00:20:17,741 speak, I tell all the students, okay, I want all of you to close your eyes. 330 00:20:17,871 --> 00:20:23,281 And when we, when I talked to them about, but what we're talking about, and so 331 00:20:23,281 --> 00:20:24,801 they all close their eyes and I say. 332 00:20:25,821 --> 00:20:32,761 I want you to tell me what color am I and I'll say, Oh, then I'll break into like, 333 00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,171 Hey, you say, you know, and blah, blah. 334 00:20:36,181 --> 00:20:40,521 And then they start to smile and I'll say, and then I'll start to say. 335 00:20:40,921 --> 00:20:44,781 Now, if everybody would please turn to page forty five, and I'd like you 336 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:50,071 all to start reading we're gonna start with this chapter, and let's proceed. 337 00:20:50,781 --> 00:20:54,931 And then they smile, and then I'll say, yeah, brother, you know what I'm saying? 338 00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:58,451 And then they smile, and then I say, now open your eyes. 339 00:20:58,911 --> 00:21:01,041 And they look at me and they're just like, and they all kind of 340 00:21:01,351 --> 00:21:06,021 laugh and it's like, so it really is just your perception of yourself. 341 00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,121 You can be whoever you want to be. 342 00:21:09,881 --> 00:21:10,321 Yes. 343 00:21:10,321 --> 00:21:14,781 And I even tell people that are musicians to take an, or who are 344 00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:21,041 entrepreneurs or business people, marketers, or frankly, any student take 345 00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:23,561 an acting class, acting one on one. 346 00:21:23,906 --> 00:21:27,086 Because that will give you techniques to pull yourself out of your 347 00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,516 shell if you are a shy person. 348 00:21:29,816 --> 00:21:34,026 It will give you techniques that only an acting professor can teach you. 349 00:21:34,576 --> 00:21:38,916 And once you turn it on, when they say, okay, read your script, go ahead, do your 350 00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:41,746 monologue, you're like and they say go. 351 00:21:42,036 --> 00:21:43,686 And you learn how to turn it on. 352 00:21:44,196 --> 00:21:47,846 And then you learn how to turn it off and it's important to be successful, 353 00:21:47,846 --> 00:21:51,376 I believe, is to have that capability and that ability to do that. 354 00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:51,946 So, yeah, 355 00:21:52,346 --> 00:21:52,906 Dr. William T. Choctaw: it's interesting. 356 00:21:52,916 --> 00:21:57,476 You say that and it's amazing because you're sort of like a mirror to me. 357 00:21:57,726 --> 00:22:01,946 And this is the first time we've talked about this and yes, and all of that. 358 00:22:02,271 --> 00:22:06,191 But I have concluded, similar to what you've already suggested, 359 00:22:06,651 --> 00:22:09,801 that the most important thing for young people to get is confidence. 360 00:22:11,441 --> 00:22:14,031 And there are different ways to get that confidence, there are also different 361 00:22:14,031 --> 00:22:17,581 ways to lose that confidence, you know, depending on whether you live 362 00:22:17,581 --> 00:22:19,421 in a toxic environment or whatever. 363 00:22:20,271 --> 00:22:24,051 But interestingly, going back to what you just reminded me of, I had 364 00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:28,681 an English teacher named Gertrude Britton in my high school in Nashville, 365 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,281 Tennessee and my high school was not an opposite African American. 366 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:38,871 Who felt it very important to teach us how to speak, you know, and 367 00:22:38,871 --> 00:22:43,311 that's, oh yeah, she said, you will not go out of my classroom, because 368 00:22:43,341 --> 00:22:44,651 we were in the deep south, right? 369 00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:48,661 You will not go out of my classroom with, with, with this, this 370 00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,211 southern accent and all that. 371 00:22:50,211 --> 00:22:54,531 So I said, no, and her point was, you have enough points against you. 372 00:22:54,821 --> 00:22:57,131 And we certainly are going to add that as another. 373 00:22:57,141 --> 00:23:00,721 So her mission In life, for all of her students, was you 374 00:23:00,721 --> 00:23:02,331 would speak proper English. 375 00:23:02,331 --> 00:23:04,311 You would speak good diction. 376 00:23:04,311 --> 00:23:05,951 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 377 00:23:06,681 --> 00:23:09,071 Because that then adds to your confidence. 378 00:23:09,101 --> 00:23:13,071 And she did that by having a public speaking group. 379 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:18,126 You know, we used to do orations in competition to teach us how to 380 00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:23,016 articulate words and sentences and paragraphs to build up our self 381 00:23:23,016 --> 00:23:23,756 Rudy: confidence. 382 00:23:23,896 --> 00:23:26,476 And I couldn't agree with you more. 383 00:23:26,626 --> 00:23:27,996 Speaking is so important. 384 00:23:29,046 --> 00:23:35,675 I tell students I tell, I tell students all the time. 385 00:23:35,675 --> 00:23:37,772 I tell them. 386 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:52,082 Make sure you read and I also tell them make sure you understand and build your 387 00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:57,312 vocabulary and, and, you know, to go along with what she was doing and I tell them 388 00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,352 why it's important because it's one thing to be like, yeah, I know what I'm saying. 389 00:24:00,902 --> 00:24:06,202 And then another thing to say, like to be able to say, you know, let's jettison to 390 00:24:06,202 --> 00:24:10,692 the next topic and, and they kind of like look at me and I'm like, I'm telling you, 391 00:24:10,692 --> 00:24:15,682 you know, if I talk to you in one way, and then I talk to you another way, you're 392 00:24:15,682 --> 00:24:17,352 going to look at me completely different. 393 00:24:17,812 --> 00:24:19,942 And I, and so I tell students. 394 00:24:20,962 --> 00:24:21,152 Sorry. 395 00:24:22,142 --> 00:24:22,712 Oh, go ahead. 396 00:24:22,832 --> 00:24:23,992 I'll take a look around. 397 00:24:25,032 --> 00:24:25,212 Okay. 398 00:24:28,077 --> 00:24:29,107 Leave him in the cage, please. 399 00:24:29,137 --> 00:24:30,247 I'll be right there. 400 00:24:30,847 --> 00:24:31,567 Leave him in the cage. 401 00:24:32,807 --> 00:24:33,067 I'm sorry. 402 00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:39,547 So I, so as I was saying, I tell students to expand your vocabulary because it's 403 00:24:39,547 --> 00:24:46,072 really important to be able to articulate and know how to Articulate what you're 404 00:24:46,072 --> 00:24:46,952 trying to communicate to people. 405 00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:49,902 The better your vocabulary, the easier it will become. 406 00:24:51,392 --> 00:24:52,622 And the more confident you'll get. 407 00:24:54,972 --> 00:24:58,052 Dr. William T. Choctaw: But when you advise students, and you work with a lot 408 00:24:58,052 --> 00:25:04,752 of students in different areas college and high school, what are some of the most 409 00:25:04,752 --> 00:25:10,722 common issues that you see come up from the students that they have to deal with? 410 00:25:10,732 --> 00:25:14,422 That maybe, if they had done some things before that time, 411 00:25:14,422 --> 00:25:15,882 it would be easier for them. 412 00:25:17,672 --> 00:25:23,602 Rudy: Well, the first thing is like you had said confidence because I'm working 413 00:25:23,602 --> 00:25:28,902 with a student who's 33 in medical school in Arkansas, and I'm working with a 414 00:25:28,902 --> 00:25:31,972 high school student who's in Cincinnati. 415 00:25:32,272 --> 00:25:35,052 She's going to be going to she actually met I met her 416 00:25:35,052 --> 00:25:36,512 out here about two months ago. 417 00:25:37,172 --> 00:25:39,172 She was looking at different universities to go to. 418 00:25:42,852 --> 00:25:47,182 And it's confidence and certain mentors. 419 00:25:48,012 --> 00:25:55,772 We'll take you so far and I tell that to my mentors that they have to know when 420 00:25:55,772 --> 00:25:57,532 the student doesn't need them anymore. 421 00:25:58,382 --> 00:26:03,422 And the student will eventually know when I need to move to a new mentor. 422 00:26:04,422 --> 00:26:09,392 And I think that's really important to be selfless. 423 00:26:09,672 --> 00:26:09,772 Thank you. 424 00:26:11,437 --> 00:26:15,987 As a mentor, to be able to say, you don't need me anymore. 425 00:26:16,757 --> 00:26:21,027 It's nice to get the money, but to be able to say, you don't need me anymore. 426 00:26:21,467 --> 00:26:26,347 And for a student to be able to realize, I don't need this mentor anymore. 427 00:26:26,767 --> 00:26:29,037 So again, it would be confidence. 428 00:26:29,307 --> 00:26:33,447 And whether it's the student in medical school or the high school 429 00:26:33,447 --> 00:26:35,857 student, there's that certain level of. 430 00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:40,902 Confidence that they need to push themselves through to the next level. 431 00:26:42,722 --> 00:26:46,222 And so I, sorry, self esteem. 432 00:26:47,547 --> 00:26:47,897 Dr. William T. Choctaw: Right. 433 00:26:48,237 --> 00:26:51,697 How do you advise students many times who are in an environment where maybe 434 00:26:51,697 --> 00:26:56,137 they may be the first one in their family to go to college, potentially 435 00:26:56,137 --> 00:27:01,177 go to college, but yet there's a lot of negative energy around them either say 436 00:27:01,187 --> 00:27:05,767 mom or dad may not have gone to college and may or may not be as supportive as 437 00:27:05,767 --> 00:27:09,682 they should be certainly their friends have nodded their sort of Teasing 438 00:27:09,682 --> 00:27:12,802 them a lot or you think you're better than us, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 439 00:27:13,282 --> 00:27:18,052 How do you, how do you help them to get out of that, that level 440 00:27:18,102 --> 00:27:19,432 and get to that next level? 441 00:27:20,132 --> 00:27:26,082 Rudy: Yes you have to show them the better life. 442 00:27:26,742 --> 00:27:27,172 Okay. 443 00:27:27,772 --> 00:27:31,232 You have to show them so they can see and they can hear it. 444 00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:35,432 And when I first started the company, I met with a couple of people up in 445 00:27:35,672 --> 00:27:39,042 Palo Alto, California, good friends of mine helping me with the company. 446 00:27:40,087 --> 00:27:43,647 And one of them brought their their son, 17 year old, who was a 447 00:27:43,647 --> 00:27:45,867 student of Berkeley Chinese kid. 448 00:27:46,617 --> 00:27:52,547 And as myself, his dad, and my business partner were talking at dinner, he 449 00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:57,637 was sitting there quiet in the table, and he had one thing to say to me. 450 00:27:57,637 --> 00:27:59,607 He said, how do you plan on mentoring us? 451 00:28:00,967 --> 00:28:04,687 And this kind of goes along with my answer to the question you're asking. 452 00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:10,372 I, I, I leaned in towards him and I said, stories, I said, because 453 00:28:10,372 --> 00:28:14,702 if I sit here and I tell you, you need to do this, you should consider 454 00:28:14,702 --> 00:28:16,792 this, you need to think about this. 455 00:28:17,337 --> 00:28:18,997 It's going to go right over your head. 456 00:28:19,637 --> 00:28:21,907 You're going to think, who's this dude trying to tell me? 457 00:28:22,727 --> 00:28:25,657 I go, the guy, and you know, who's this dude trying to tell me about the 458 00:28:25,657 --> 00:28:29,057 future or my future when he probably doesn't even have a Snapchat account. 459 00:28:29,447 --> 00:28:31,587 He probably doesn't have a TikTok account and he's going 460 00:28:31,587 --> 00:28:33,177 to tell me about the future. 461 00:28:34,127 --> 00:28:38,157 And he smiled and I said, but if I tell you a story, I said like 462 00:28:38,157 --> 00:28:41,007 the stories that your dad just shared with me, I go, did you know 463 00:28:41,007 --> 00:28:42,367 your dad went through all of that? 464 00:28:43,237 --> 00:28:46,207 And he looked at his dad and his dad smiled and he goes, no, I didn't. 465 00:28:47,002 --> 00:28:48,402 I go, that was a story. 466 00:28:48,742 --> 00:28:50,082 I go, what about all the other things? 467 00:28:50,082 --> 00:28:51,202 You're hearing these stories. 468 00:28:52,012 --> 00:28:53,672 I go, your mind is spinning. 469 00:28:54,272 --> 00:28:58,562 I go, if I tell you a story, you know, maybe you should hear, maybe you should, 470 00:28:59,082 --> 00:29:03,232 you know, if I tell you a story about something I went through, then you're 471 00:29:03,232 --> 00:29:04,932 going to apply it to your own life. 472 00:29:05,752 --> 00:29:07,822 And then you'll start to ask me questions. 473 00:29:07,922 --> 00:29:09,892 I go, that's how I plan on doing it. 474 00:29:09,952 --> 00:29:11,602 Everybody's going to have their own story. 475 00:29:11,872 --> 00:29:13,482 Their own testimony, if you will. 476 00:29:14,172 --> 00:29:18,192 And that is what's going to make you feel like, okay, not only can 477 00:29:18,192 --> 00:29:22,737 I trust you, But yeah, now I'm, now I'm curious, how can you, what do 478 00:29:22,737 --> 00:29:24,317 you think about this situation, Rudy? 479 00:29:24,807 --> 00:29:26,127 And that's where it begins. 480 00:29:26,137 --> 00:29:31,877 So, so so that's one part of it, by telling stories but also for the 481 00:29:31,877 --> 00:29:36,197 person who is trying to escape the negative energy, whether it's parents, 482 00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:39,317 and one of the schools that I spoke to, Santa Ana High School, one of 483 00:29:39,317 --> 00:29:44,217 the biggest problems they have is the dropout rate for community college. 484 00:29:45,197 --> 00:29:45,677 Yes. 485 00:29:45,957 --> 00:29:49,477 It's 50 percent and more on the first semester. 486 00:29:50,052 --> 00:29:53,222 And a lot of it is because the Hispanic family that they come from, 487 00:29:53,852 --> 00:29:57,742 they rely on the high school student to make an extra income working at 488 00:29:57,742 --> 00:30:01,072 McDonald's or wherever, wherever it is. 489 00:30:01,422 --> 00:30:06,892 So this way they can help feed the family, which is a huge burden on, on on kids. 490 00:30:07,442 --> 00:30:09,812 And so to answer your question is to show them. 491 00:30:10,232 --> 00:30:14,722 The better life that they feel that they don't deserve, but the better life 492 00:30:14,722 --> 00:30:20,902 that is out there that they totally deserve that, that so they can see 493 00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:26,472 that if they, they do the time in school, this is what you'll get for it. 494 00:30:27,042 --> 00:30:29,252 If they do the time in a trade school. 495 00:30:29,962 --> 00:30:31,402 This is what you'll get from it. 496 00:30:32,042 --> 00:30:36,592 And then I take it a step further, and I'm, I'm actually going into, I spoke at 497 00:30:36,592 --> 00:30:42,652 a continuation school in early December, and a couple of the students were just 498 00:30:42,652 --> 00:30:46,432 kind of, yeah, yeah, whatever dude, but I focused on three or four of them, 499 00:30:47,162 --> 00:30:48,822 and I, and I call them out by name. 500 00:30:48,822 --> 00:30:49,692 What do you like doing? 501 00:30:50,742 --> 00:30:52,182 Well, I like this. 502 00:30:52,462 --> 00:30:53,882 What are you going to do when you graduate? 503 00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:57,982 Well, I'm probably going to be an electrician and I'm brilliant. 504 00:30:58,502 --> 00:30:58,962 Excellent. 505 00:30:59,492 --> 00:31:03,612 And then I go to the whiteboard and I said, this is what his name was Daniel. 506 00:31:03,622 --> 00:31:07,202 This is what Daniel can expect when he graduates. 507 00:31:07,312 --> 00:31:08,952 And I said, now all of you follow this. 508 00:31:09,662 --> 00:31:15,022 I told him how much rent costs nowadays, $2,600 for a two bedroom apartment. 509 00:31:15,802 --> 00:31:18,322 And I wrote it all down a month, times 12. 510 00:31:18,412 --> 00:31:23,322 And then I wrote down electricity, $200 a month, times 12 gas, blah, blah, blah. 511 00:31:23,792 --> 00:31:28,862 And then I wrote down, Daniel's gonna make 30, $33 a month, or 512 00:31:28,862 --> 00:31:33,382 sorry, an hour as an electrician starting out for 28 to $33 a month. 513 00:31:33,412 --> 00:31:36,922 And I wrote that out times 12 times four times, 40 times 514 00:31:37,572 --> 00:31:39,177 four weeks times 12 months. 515 00:31:40,087 --> 00:31:43,537 And then I wrote down, if you don't have a degree, or you don't have 516 00:31:43,537 --> 00:31:47,397 a trade school, you're gonna make probably 18 to 20 dollars an hour. 517 00:31:47,937 --> 00:31:50,857 But I wrote that down, and they can see it. 518 00:31:50,967 --> 00:31:52,847 They can see that, wow. 519 00:31:53,337 --> 00:31:55,197 And then I said, oh, and you wanna go to the movies? 520 00:31:55,842 --> 00:31:55,872 Yes. 521 00:31:55,882 --> 00:31:59,279 You're going to drop 100 to go to the movies. 522 00:31:59,279 --> 00:32:03,972 And you're going to, and then gas for your car and you want, you want a nice car. 523 00:32:04,012 --> 00:32:04,362 Okay. 524 00:32:04,362 --> 00:32:06,602 And you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and you have all this, 525 00:32:06,942 --> 00:32:08,632 and I'm like, this is your life. 526 00:32:09,412 --> 00:32:10,952 This is where you guys are headed. 527 00:32:11,552 --> 00:32:15,312 And I said, now Daniel, on the other hand, goes to trade school, becomes 528 00:32:15,312 --> 00:32:19,212 an electrician, works with his dad, his dad gets him into the company. 529 00:32:19,682 --> 00:32:21,022 He starts to make money. 530 00:32:22,072 --> 00:32:24,592 He lives with his parents, which is totally cool because he's saving 531 00:32:24,592 --> 00:32:29,652 money and he saves enough money to buy an apartment complex, a duplex. 532 00:32:29,922 --> 00:32:35,522 He rents one out and he lives in the other and the mortgage comes, 533 00:32:35,552 --> 00:32:37,772 the mortgage payment comes from the one that he's renting out. 534 00:32:37,772 --> 00:32:39,362 So he's essentially living rent free. 535 00:32:39,542 --> 00:32:40,462 He's an electrician. 536 00:32:40,712 --> 00:32:42,432 He knows how to fix things around the house. 537 00:32:42,442 --> 00:32:44,432 He doesn't have to call anybody to fix anything. 538 00:32:44,952 --> 00:32:48,702 He lives there until he and his girlfriend or his partner decide 539 00:32:48,702 --> 00:32:49,742 they're going to get married. 540 00:32:50,382 --> 00:32:55,292 Then they take out a loan on the apartment and they go buy their own home. 541 00:32:55,612 --> 00:32:57,112 They both have good jobs. 542 00:32:57,502 --> 00:32:59,402 They live there for maybe seven years. 543 00:32:59,402 --> 00:33:02,312 Then they take out another loan against the apartment and 544 00:33:02,312 --> 00:33:03,332 against the house they own. 545 00:33:03,372 --> 00:33:05,962 And they buy another building apartment. 546 00:33:06,712 --> 00:33:10,062 And then by the time they're 50, they own four apartments. 547 00:33:10,152 --> 00:33:14,012 They sell them all and buy one big building that has 60 tenants. 548 00:33:14,647 --> 00:33:20,747 At 4, 000 a month, when I write down 60 times 4, 000 people, I'm like, 549 00:33:20,837 --> 00:33:23,347 this is what Daniel's life can be. 550 00:33:24,407 --> 00:33:27,187 60, I said, 4, 000 times 60 tenants. 551 00:33:27,227 --> 00:33:29,197 You guys tell me what he's going to make a month. 552 00:33:29,407 --> 00:33:35,167 And I'm like, wow, over 200, 000 a month is what he's going to be making. 553 00:33:36,067 --> 00:33:38,287 And I say to him, this is your life. 554 00:33:38,832 --> 00:33:42,182 So, to answer your question, how do you pull somebody out of that? 555 00:33:42,842 --> 00:33:44,072 You show it to them. 556 00:33:44,362 --> 00:33:45,822 You show them a better life. 557 00:33:45,942 --> 00:33:49,352 And then they start to feel like, I can do this. 558 00:33:49,362 --> 00:33:50,142 That it's doable. 559 00:33:51,732 --> 00:33:52,412 Doable. 560 00:33:52,872 --> 00:33:53,804 Because of the math. 561 00:33:53,804 --> 00:33:54,852 Dr. William T. Choctaw: But you know what? 562 00:33:56,102 --> 00:34:00,827 That's just a brilliant point, because what I see, and again, I'll get this. 563 00:34:02,177 --> 00:34:07,457 I've had this belief system that a lot of students, and I'm talking about my 564 00:34:07,457 --> 00:34:11,377 students who, who have to struggle, you know, whether it's because they're, 565 00:34:11,407 --> 00:34:16,207 they're from families that, that are poor or they're minority or both or whatever. 566 00:34:16,577 --> 00:34:20,217 And many times, they, they want the better life. 567 00:34:20,247 --> 00:34:21,357 They want to do well. 568 00:34:21,377 --> 00:34:22,857 They're willing to work well. 569 00:34:22,857 --> 00:34:24,897 But there are traps for them. 570 00:34:25,077 --> 00:34:26,277 There are traps out there for them. 571 00:34:26,937 --> 00:34:27,747 One of the traps. 572 00:34:28,557 --> 00:34:32,827 Is these places they call themselves colleges and universities and they're 573 00:34:32,837 --> 00:34:37,627 not colleges and universities and they take our best and our brightest 574 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:42,197 who save what little they have when they get into a place, and I'll 575 00:34:42,207 --> 00:34:44,247 throw a name out Trump University. 576 00:34:44,672 --> 00:34:49,442 And thinking that they're going to a university, but it's not a university. 577 00:34:49,442 --> 00:34:51,632 They can't transfer those credits. 578 00:34:51,822 --> 00:34:56,412 They can't take that and take an exam and go up into a different profession. 579 00:34:56,812 --> 00:35:00,152 How do you protect students from the traps? 580 00:35:00,672 --> 00:35:05,002 out there where people try to take advantage of them, which ends up then 581 00:35:05,022 --> 00:35:08,732 either pushing them into depression or make them give up altogether. 582 00:35:11,402 --> 00:35:12,452 Rudy: That's a very good question. 583 00:35:13,502 --> 00:35:17,792 And, and I'll give two examples. 584 00:35:17,802 --> 00:35:22,422 One and I only give it religiously. 585 00:35:22,902 --> 00:35:31,227 What I mean by that is in Christianity God blesses you with gifts and talents, 586 00:35:32,067 --> 00:35:37,747 and he wants you to be the light of the world for you to go up to the tallest 587 00:35:37,757 --> 00:35:48,887 tree, and so people will see you, and then you will selflessly say, I am blessed, 588 00:35:48,997 --> 00:35:53,667 and it's not from me, it's from God, but I am here to spread positive energy 589 00:35:54,117 --> 00:35:55,837 with the gifts and talents that I have. 590 00:35:57,057 --> 00:36:05,017 And so that, I got so lost in that, that visual that I forgot your question. 591 00:36:05,027 --> 00:36:05,387 That's okay. 592 00:36:06,727 --> 00:36:06,807 Dr. William T. Choctaw: Forgive me. 593 00:36:06,947 --> 00:36:10,177 And I am Christian, by the way, so you're, you're, you're, you're, you're in good, 594 00:36:10,197 --> 00:36:11,527 you're, you're in good company here. 595 00:36:11,527 --> 00:36:12,047 It's okay. 596 00:36:12,097 --> 00:36:12,567 Okay. 597 00:36:12,617 --> 00:36:17,392 Rudy: So how, how, you, you had asked, how does a person, How does a student 598 00:36:19,012 --> 00:36:27,432 get beyond, you know that trap and so the example I just gave you, you know, to be, 599 00:36:27,752 --> 00:36:32,482 use the God given gifts that you have and talents and, and whatever God it might 600 00:36:32,482 --> 00:36:36,012 be, it could be Buddha, it could be Allah. 601 00:36:36,437 --> 00:36:37,437 It doesn't matter. 602 00:36:38,187 --> 00:36:43,667 It's just God given talent that you have that can not be buried. 603 00:36:44,147 --> 00:36:47,977 And there are plenty of stories, as you know, in the Bible of the, of the 604 00:36:47,977 --> 00:36:51,537 three sons that the father said to one of the son, I'm going to give you all, 605 00:36:51,537 --> 00:36:53,647 I'm just going to paraphrase this. 606 00:36:53,647 --> 00:36:56,687 I'm going to give you all 10, 000 and I want you to, it's your money. 607 00:36:56,697 --> 00:36:57,337 Do what you want. 608 00:36:57,337 --> 00:36:59,757 One son goes out and blows it in parties. 609 00:37:00,197 --> 00:37:06,047 The other goes out and, and, and invests it into a business because bankrupt, but 610 00:37:07,037 --> 00:37:11,907 And then the other son takes the 10, 000 and he buries it because he doesn't want 611 00:37:11,907 --> 00:37:13,397 to touch it, doesn't want to lose it. 612 00:37:13,827 --> 00:37:17,477 And then the father comes back and is praising the other two sons, one who 613 00:37:17,477 --> 00:37:22,287 blew it, it parted away, the other one who tried to be an entrepreneur, 614 00:37:22,677 --> 00:37:26,367 and he gets angry at the son who took his talent and buried it in the dirt. 615 00:37:27,732 --> 00:37:29,992 So how to avoid getting into that trap. 616 00:37:31,702 --> 00:37:35,412 And I tell that story because that was a very selfless act of those two 617 00:37:35,412 --> 00:37:37,842 boys who, two sons who just blew it. 618 00:37:39,012 --> 00:37:44,252 But on another hand, it wasn't, it wasn't selfish of them because 619 00:37:44,732 --> 00:37:46,102 they were given that money. 620 00:37:46,212 --> 00:37:51,852 So it wasn't selfish of them to do what they wanted with it without having any 621 00:37:52,322 --> 00:37:54,912 guilt or responsibility to their dad. 622 00:37:55,012 --> 00:37:56,742 And that's what their dad loved. 623 00:37:57,777 --> 00:38:00,627 Because he wanted to give it to him and said, do what you want with it. 624 00:38:00,937 --> 00:38:04,227 And they did what they want with it without any parental guilt. 625 00:38:04,567 --> 00:38:06,577 And that's, so that's to tap onto your question. 626 00:38:06,587 --> 00:38:09,137 How do you pull up, get out of that trap? 627 00:38:09,437 --> 00:38:10,957 Because parents are that way too. 628 00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,977 They can put their children into a trap of, you need to do this. 629 00:38:14,557 --> 00:38:17,847 And even though the son or daughter may feel like, well, this is what I want to 630 00:38:17,847 --> 00:38:22,397 do, they will stop from doing it because they feel that guilt of their parent. 631 00:38:23,537 --> 00:38:27,867 And they won't do it because their parent has drilled in them so much. 632 00:38:29,342 --> 00:38:33,442 aNd, and helicopter parents in particular, or bulldozer parents in 633 00:38:33,442 --> 00:38:38,202 particular, that their child grows up thinking, I'd love to, but I can't. 634 00:38:38,492 --> 00:38:41,552 And that again, funnels down into their marriage because their spouse 635 00:38:41,552 --> 00:38:43,472 might be very, Hey, let's go do this. 636 00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:45,052 Hey, I'm going to do this. 637 00:38:45,522 --> 00:38:49,142 But the, but they will be like, Oh, I can't because of my mom and dad. 638 00:38:49,582 --> 00:38:50,862 And they're like, Hey, we're married. 639 00:38:51,432 --> 00:38:53,332 You know, we're going to do what we want to do. 640 00:38:53,342 --> 00:38:56,862 We're going to raise our kids the way we want to raise our kids to 641 00:38:56,862 --> 00:38:58,272 pull yourself out of the trap. 642 00:38:58,272 --> 00:38:59,092 It's not only. 643 00:38:59,662 --> 00:39:01,042 Collegiate, if you will. 644 00:39:01,042 --> 00:39:03,082 It's also parental. 645 00:39:03,732 --> 00:39:03,822 Mm-Hmm. 646 00:39:04,062 --> 00:39:05,202 . And as an individual. 647 00:39:05,582 --> 00:39:13,362 So to answer that question, to funnel all down, to answer one question and 648 00:39:13,362 --> 00:39:19,422 give you one word, and that is selfish because you have to be a selfish 649 00:39:19,422 --> 00:39:21,462 individual, a selfish human being. 650 00:39:21,732 --> 00:39:28,882 Knowing that I only have one life, God gave me the talents to do what I can do. 651 00:39:29,892 --> 00:39:34,272 So when I am on my deathbed, I can say I lived a happy life. 652 00:39:34,277 --> 00:39:35,322 I have no regrets. 653 00:39:36,112 --> 00:39:40,442 And I used what God gave me and granted people called me 654 00:39:40,452 --> 00:39:43,162 selfish, but I know I'm not. 655 00:39:44,312 --> 00:39:46,932 I just did what I wanted to do with what God gave me. 656 00:39:47,632 --> 00:39:50,392 So to answer your question, you have to be a selfish human being. 657 00:39:50,862 --> 00:39:54,932 Now there are people who, who take it to the limit, like Steve Jobs or, or 658 00:39:54,972 --> 00:40:02,342 Elon Musk, who, you know, people are just like, have been portrayed as just 659 00:40:02,422 --> 00:40:05,382 mean human beings, but think about it. 660 00:40:05,392 --> 00:40:07,112 Those people are so focused. 661 00:40:07,532 --> 00:40:10,432 That there's nothing that matters to them, but their goal. 662 00:40:11,282 --> 00:40:15,062 And they'll frankly crap on everybody around them, family and 663 00:40:15,062 --> 00:40:16,932 friends to get what they want. 664 00:40:17,802 --> 00:40:20,512 bUt I, but to answer your question, you have to be a selfish person. 665 00:40:21,322 --> 00:40:24,542 And I don't think the word selfish in this case is a, is 666 00:40:24,542 --> 00:40:26,172 a bad word or a negative word. 667 00:40:26,172 --> 00:40:32,522 I think it's a very, it's a word that I believe that people should, should say 668 00:40:32,522 --> 00:40:34,212 to themselves, I'm going to be selfish. 669 00:40:34,392 --> 00:40:37,762 And as you can probably know, one of the key things of being successful. 670 00:40:38,512 --> 00:40:43,182 Is having the ability to say, no, Hey we're going to go do this when, you know, 671 00:40:43,182 --> 00:40:49,492 we want you to come and you as a son or daughter say, no, I'm going to go do this. 672 00:40:50,432 --> 00:40:56,192 Or you as, you know, a parent, you say, no, I'm not going, I need to 673 00:40:56,192 --> 00:41:02,592 work on our taxes or you as, but the ability to be selfish and the ability 674 00:41:02,592 --> 00:41:06,942 to say no, that to me to answer your question is the way to avoid that trap. 675 00:41:07,297 --> 00:41:11,027 When people try to put up boundaries, you say, no, I'm not doing it. 676 00:41:11,377 --> 00:41:12,877 I'm, no, I'm not doing it. 677 00:41:12,997 --> 00:41:15,907 And that's one of the things that I tell students that I'm mentoring. 678 00:41:16,627 --> 00:41:18,897 You have to have a list of standards. 679 00:41:19,457 --> 00:41:24,577 You have to write down my list of standards as an, as, yes, as a friend. 680 00:41:24,957 --> 00:41:26,327 This is my standards list. 681 00:41:26,327 --> 00:41:29,317 If you're going to be a friend of mine, you're going to live by my standards. 682 00:41:29,317 --> 00:41:32,107 If you're going to be my spouse, these are my standards. 683 00:41:32,697 --> 00:41:35,557 If you're going to be my business partner, these are my standards. 684 00:41:35,907 --> 00:41:41,447 And if you're going to be, you know my, well, I said it, my spouse, whatever, 685 00:41:42,397 --> 00:41:46,357 there's a list of standards where you yourself will say, I will not cross these 686 00:41:46,357 --> 00:41:52,467 lines because then it affects me as a human being and I can't be 100 percent me. 687 00:41:53,917 --> 00:41:59,367 So yeah, that's your question to, to get out of that trap, to be selfish. 688 00:41:59,967 --> 00:42:02,417 Have your list of standards that 689 00:42:02,427 --> 00:42:04,027 Dr. William T. Choctaw: makes perfect sense that the students 690 00:42:04,027 --> 00:42:05,587 have to be focused and relentless. 691 00:42:05,937 --> 00:42:10,407 I mean, I'm sure we can all remember in college, you know, when we wanted to go 692 00:42:10,407 --> 00:42:11,887 to the part of it to say, you know what? 693 00:42:11,887 --> 00:42:17,487 I got, I got a chemistry exam tomorrow and I'm not doing well on chemistry. 694 00:42:18,217 --> 00:42:22,927 I really need to stay here and study and it's making those choices and 695 00:42:22,927 --> 00:42:27,947 giving yourself permission to make those choices that that are okay. 696 00:42:27,977 --> 00:42:28,707 That's okay. 697 00:42:29,017 --> 00:42:32,357 And, and I, and you touched on another thing that I think is important also. 698 00:42:32,597 --> 00:42:37,237 I think there should be some, some religious connection there, you know, 699 00:42:37,237 --> 00:42:42,247 and as I said, you can choose what you like, but I think that to, to your point 700 00:42:42,487 --> 00:42:47,437 helps you maintain those standards, you know, or helps you create them. 701 00:42:47,657 --> 00:42:50,767 So, no, no, no, I'm not just out here doing X, Y, and Z. 702 00:42:50,957 --> 00:42:51,977 I have a purpose. 703 00:42:52,562 --> 00:42:56,772 And either this is in alignment with my purpose or it's not in alignment with, 704 00:42:57,772 --> 00:42:59,832 and if it's not, then I need to let it go. 705 00:42:59,972 --> 00:43:00,952 And that includes people. 706 00:43:01,332 --> 00:43:03,092 I'm sorry, I need to let it go. 707 00:43:03,562 --> 00:43:08,012 I'm on my way to law school or medical school or graduate school. 708 00:43:08,042 --> 00:43:10,822 I can't get involved with drugs right now. 709 00:43:11,292 --> 00:43:12,702 I won't even get out of college. 710 00:43:13,712 --> 00:43:14,992 I think that's excellent advice. 711 00:43:15,762 --> 00:43:16,122 Excellent advice. 712 00:43:16,122 --> 00:43:19,532 Rudy: And you bring up friends. 713 00:43:21,702 --> 00:43:26,242 That whether it's friends or family, they may hate you, may talk about you, 714 00:43:26,242 --> 00:43:29,952 but in the end, yes, we'll respect you. 715 00:43:30,222 --> 00:43:30,782 Yes. 716 00:43:30,892 --> 00:43:33,982 And they won't let anybody talk bad about you because it's true. 717 00:43:34,052 --> 00:43:39,012 And it's always, yeah, they will be like, like, Hey man, you know, Hey bro. 718 00:43:39,012 --> 00:43:43,612 Hey, you know, like, Hey, hey, they'll just talk so good about you in the end. 719 00:43:43,612 --> 00:43:46,762 And whether that's family, friends or colleagues. 720 00:43:47,122 --> 00:43:51,122 And like you had said, you know You cut the people out of your life who, 721 00:43:52,552 --> 00:43:54,372 who deserve to be, who need to be cut. 722 00:43:54,692 --> 00:43:55,002 Yes. 723 00:43:56,192 --> 00:43:56,582 You. 724 00:43:56,632 --> 00:43:56,922 Yeah. 725 00:43:56,952 --> 00:43:59,592 And if I may, on the, on the religious Christian thing. 726 00:44:01,352 --> 00:44:06,602 Someone asked me what is the best book that I, that I would advise and I would, 727 00:44:06,662 --> 00:44:12,992 I would say for a book of stories, the Bible, both New and Old Testament, because 728 00:44:12,992 --> 00:44:17,052 there are so many stories in there that you, even if you don't believe, you 729 00:44:17,052 --> 00:44:18,442 just want to read it for entertainment. 730 00:44:18,857 --> 00:44:23,487 You'll read these stories and be like, wow, or you'll read the if you like 731 00:44:23,487 --> 00:44:29,407 poetry, just pick up psalms, pick up psalms, and you'll just be like, wow, 732 00:44:29,577 --> 00:44:32,247 you know, I don't need to read T. 733 00:44:32,247 --> 00:44:32,417 S. 734 00:44:32,417 --> 00:44:33,577 Eliot or anybody like that. 735 00:44:33,587 --> 00:44:39,457 Just the stuff here is just fascinating and just and, and again, I say this 736 00:44:39,457 --> 00:44:42,147 because if you're not a Christian, you're not religious and you just read it. 737 00:44:42,502 --> 00:44:43,272 For face value. 738 00:44:43,812 --> 00:44:45,562 You will pull something out of that. 739 00:44:46,192 --> 00:44:51,422 And you'll just be blown away like, wow, you know, so, yeah, you know, 740 00:44:51,722 --> 00:44:54,432 Dr. William T. Choctaw: well, you know, you, you have been absolutely 741 00:44:55,092 --> 00:44:58,632 excellent in terms of giving us good advice and things to do and we 742 00:44:58,632 --> 00:45:00,172 want to be respectful of your time. 743 00:45:00,632 --> 00:45:02,282 Let me ask you one question. 744 00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:06,962 What advice would you give to young people who you normally mentor 745 00:45:07,292 --> 00:45:10,602 or who you're presently mentoring or will mentor in the future? 746 00:45:11,017 --> 00:45:15,727 Because I think that gap between home and college is huge. 747 00:45:16,017 --> 00:45:20,247 And I think, to your point, I think it many times will dictate whether 748 00:45:20,247 --> 00:45:24,987 you succeed or you don't succeed, how well you navigate that transition from 749 00:45:24,987 --> 00:45:28,847 high school to college, or high school to whatever is after high school. 750 00:45:29,077 --> 00:45:33,477 But what advice in general would you give, you know, to all of the parents on the 751 00:45:33,477 --> 00:45:35,277 parents side and on the students side? 752 00:45:37,677 --> 00:45:44,737 Rudy: First of all, I, I think, Humility, if you're a parent humility in, in, in 753 00:45:44,807 --> 00:45:50,197 the way where you can say as a parent, I don't know everything, where you as 754 00:45:50,197 --> 00:45:56,247 a parent can say to your child, I don't know everything, and I am not perfect. 755 00:45:56,397 --> 00:46:00,717 When you can say those two lines to your son or daughter, the anxiety, 756 00:46:00,747 --> 00:46:07,807 the, the expectation, it becomes more what your son or daughter will be like. 757 00:46:10,897 --> 00:46:12,957 Cause they, sons and daughters need to realize. 758 00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:18,012 And I'm sure that there was a point for you with your parents that my 759 00:46:18,012 --> 00:46:22,732 parents don't know everything and that's best for me as an individual. 760 00:46:23,502 --> 00:46:26,632 And my mom, my dad isn't Superman. 761 00:46:27,192 --> 00:46:29,602 Like I thought he was, he's a human being. 762 00:46:29,802 --> 00:46:35,452 He's just like me trying to figure it out, but trying to be the best as you can. 763 00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:37,712 And same with my mom. 764 00:46:38,512 --> 00:46:43,802 But if a parent can just be humble and admit these things to their child, the. 765 00:46:44,672 --> 00:46:48,252 The expectations, the anxiety, just, ah, the weight on your 766 00:46:48,252 --> 00:46:50,032 shoulders just, ooh, goes away. 767 00:46:50,562 --> 00:46:52,572 There's that saying, let go and let God. 768 00:46:54,082 --> 00:46:55,322 And it's kind of the same thing. 769 00:46:55,542 --> 00:46:59,192 Let go of thinking you have to be the perfect parent and tell your son or 770 00:46:59,192 --> 00:47:00,882 daughter that, I don't know everything. 771 00:47:00,942 --> 00:47:02,022 I had to figure it out. 772 00:47:02,032 --> 00:47:04,102 I went exactly what you're going through. 773 00:47:04,642 --> 00:47:07,262 But, but here's where I can help as your parent. 774 00:47:07,662 --> 00:47:09,202 I am here for you. 775 00:47:10,022 --> 00:47:12,272 Give them a hug or let them hug you. 776 00:47:12,842 --> 00:47:15,362 And here's another last thing for the parents. 777 00:47:15,957 --> 00:47:22,747 Is to tell them, we are a team, you and me are a team and your brother and 778 00:47:22,747 --> 00:47:26,747 your dad were a team, even if they're divorced, it doesn't matter because you 779 00:47:26,747 --> 00:47:30,987 still parents and you can rely on me. 780 00:47:31,157 --> 00:47:31,707 We are a team. 781 00:47:31,727 --> 00:47:35,587 Now, if that parent can't do that, then I'd have to say that parent 782 00:47:35,597 --> 00:47:36,887 needs to work on themselves. 783 00:47:37,767 --> 00:47:38,777 And there's nothing wrong with that. 784 00:47:39,307 --> 00:47:42,927 And for the, the, the child, the student to realize. 785 00:47:43,827 --> 00:47:47,367 tHat my mom and dad aren't perfect, and there are some 786 00:47:47,367 --> 00:47:48,817 things that I can't tell them. 787 00:47:49,307 --> 00:47:51,957 It's best that they don't know, and I'm talking about the good 788 00:47:51,957 --> 00:47:53,187 things you want to do in your life. 789 00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:58,417 If you're doing, I'm not talking about drinking or drugs or any of that stuff. 790 00:47:58,757 --> 00:48:01,847 I'm talking about things that you know you want to do with your life, you 791 00:48:01,847 --> 00:48:03,397 want to study, you want to become. 792 00:48:03,637 --> 00:48:10,017 Sometimes it's best that parents don't know, and then you do it, and then while 793 00:48:10,017 --> 00:48:11,457 you're doing it, your parents like. 794 00:48:12,717 --> 00:48:14,187 Wow, you did all this. 795 00:48:14,187 --> 00:48:15,087 And I'm like, yeah, I did. 796 00:48:15,757 --> 00:48:16,147 I did. 797 00:48:16,187 --> 00:48:17,247 I did it myself. 798 00:48:18,307 --> 00:48:22,157 And then your parents starts to have that respect for you because you did it. 799 00:48:22,157 --> 00:48:25,717 And and it goes again, being selfish. 800 00:48:26,147 --> 00:48:31,557 So advice that I would give to a high school student or a college student is 801 00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,397 do what you want to do with your life. 802 00:48:33,437 --> 00:48:35,267 Well, I don't know what I want to do, Rudy. 803 00:48:35,597 --> 00:48:37,547 Well, start with what are your talents? 804 00:48:37,942 --> 00:48:38,862 What are you good at? 805 00:48:38,872 --> 00:48:40,442 What do your teachers tell you you're good at? 806 00:48:40,452 --> 00:48:41,902 What do you know you're good at? 807 00:48:42,272 --> 00:48:42,912 Are you good at math? 808 00:48:42,952 --> 00:48:43,942 No, I'm terrible at math. 809 00:48:44,412 --> 00:48:47,132 Alright, well, I could never be a business owner. 810 00:48:47,142 --> 00:48:50,472 Yeah, you can, because you might be a people person. 811 00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:53,352 You might be, and then what do you do if you don't know math? 812 00:48:53,382 --> 00:48:55,652 You hire the best math people. 813 00:48:57,042 --> 00:48:59,332 Yeah, and you tell them what to do. 814 00:48:59,772 --> 00:49:02,142 Just because you don't know math doesn't mean you're not smart enough 815 00:49:02,142 --> 00:49:03,512 to be your own business owner. 816 00:49:04,512 --> 00:49:07,102 And so follow your talents, follow your passion. 817 00:49:07,622 --> 00:49:09,682 Do what you want to do as an individual. 818 00:49:09,792 --> 00:49:10,642 Be selfish. 819 00:49:10,752 --> 00:49:11,342 It's okay. 820 00:49:12,312 --> 00:49:13,772 And and the money will come. 821 00:49:13,772 --> 00:49:16,212 And you'll realize it's not about the money. 822 00:49:16,302 --> 00:49:18,862 It's about me doing things. 823 00:49:18,982 --> 00:49:20,302 And the money's just gonna come. 824 00:49:20,962 --> 00:49:21,432 So, yeah. 825 00:49:22,442 --> 00:49:22,672 So, 826 00:49:22,952 --> 00:49:25,032 Dr. William T. Choctaw: for the parents and the students who are 827 00:49:25,032 --> 00:49:28,492 listening to this podcast, how do they get in touch with you? 828 00:49:29,422 --> 00:49:31,442 If they want to follow up or 829 00:49:31,682 --> 00:49:33,162 Rudy: Yeah. 830 00:49:33,942 --> 00:49:39,402 Yeah, they can contact me Well, you can go to college web mentor.com Okay. 831 00:49:39,402 --> 00:49:41,082 That's college.com. 832 00:49:42,092 --> 00:49:42,662 Dot com. 833 00:49:42,872 --> 00:49:47,402 And you can reach out to me personally at Rudy, R-U-D-Y-A-M-P, 834 00:49:47,552 --> 00:49:49,562 Adam Michael paul@gmail.com. 835 00:49:50,242 --> 00:49:51,672 And you know what's interesting? 836 00:49:52,612 --> 00:49:56,182 Since I brought up my website, I used to have prices up there, like, you know, 837 00:49:56,182 --> 00:49:57,832 cookie cutter pulled up to McDonald's. 838 00:49:57,832 --> 00:50:01,682 I'll take them number one grilled onions, or number two, or number three. 839 00:50:03,007 --> 00:50:04,547 But I realized that wasn't working. 840 00:50:04,547 --> 00:50:05,887 I wasn't getting any sales. 841 00:50:06,847 --> 00:50:10,017 And then I took the prices off and then people started calling. 842 00:50:11,167 --> 00:50:12,147 sO there's no prices. 843 00:50:12,147 --> 00:50:17,557 But actually, it hit me that this is such a delicate situation 844 00:50:17,557 --> 00:50:20,917 and trying to, to help somebody, you can't put a price on it. 845 00:50:20,917 --> 00:50:24,957 So really it's, I mean, there's hourly rates, but each individual 846 00:50:24,967 --> 00:50:27,747 mentor is, is, is has their own rates. 847 00:50:29,407 --> 00:50:33,697 And it's more of where you meet somebody for 20 minutes. 848 00:50:34,377 --> 00:50:37,427 Every other week, and then you can educate through, through 849 00:50:37,477 --> 00:50:40,157 through Google Docs and journal. 850 00:50:40,157 --> 00:50:42,527 Journaling is really important, and that's another thing for a parent 851 00:50:42,527 --> 00:50:45,597 and for a student to journal about what you're going through in life. 852 00:50:46,007 --> 00:50:48,897 Because as you read it and you're writing it, you're figuring things out. 853 00:50:48,987 --> 00:50:50,627 How to figure problems, how to problem solve. 854 00:50:51,687 --> 00:50:54,427 A lot of that happens between the mentors and the students. 855 00:50:55,047 --> 00:50:59,127 And that's I know I'm totally transitioning here, but but that is 856 00:50:59,137 --> 00:51:02,837 the, the way to get ahold of me through email and just check out the website. 857 00:51:03,037 --> 00:51:07,527 So, yeah, and I'd love to come back anytime you want to talk to me. 858 00:51:08,067 --> 00:51:10,077 Dr. William T. Choctaw: We definitely want to have you back. 859 00:51:10,077 --> 00:51:13,847 And so what I, my request of you is look at your schedule. 860 00:51:14,737 --> 00:51:18,837 Okay, next few months and see which month is good for you, but and just 861 00:51:18,837 --> 00:51:22,887 just this shoot me a text on emails that I'm available during the month 862 00:51:23,477 --> 00:51:28,367 of and we will because I really do believe this is so important and I 863 00:51:28,367 --> 00:51:32,977 don't think anybody else is talking about this the way we agree with. 864 00:51:33,497 --> 00:51:34,307 Rudy: I totally agree with 865 00:51:35,357 --> 00:51:35,407 Dr. William T. Choctaw: you. 866 00:51:35,407 --> 00:51:38,697 Everybody just assumes, well, it's all handled and everybody takes care of it. 867 00:51:38,857 --> 00:51:43,517 It's not all handled because I, to that point, I have a grandson, my first 868 00:51:43,517 --> 00:51:45,887 grandson who's applying to college. 869 00:51:45,897 --> 00:51:47,507 He's, he's a 3. 870 00:51:47,507 --> 00:51:48,047 8 student. 871 00:51:48,387 --> 00:51:51,037 He's applying to most of the UC schools. 872 00:51:52,012 --> 00:51:56,152 And you know, he's in that, in that transition, so I'm going 873 00:51:56,162 --> 00:52:00,237 back through this again with him, you know, and you're right, you 874 00:52:00,237 --> 00:52:03,442 know, he talks in the Instagram, which I never heard of back then. 875 00:52:04,017 --> 00:52:08,217 But I think a lot of parents go through this every year and they 876 00:52:08,217 --> 00:52:12,807 need help and I think the resources are very limited to help them. 877 00:52:12,827 --> 00:52:13,417 Rudy: Yes. 878 00:52:14,227 --> 00:52:14,367 Yes. 879 00:52:14,667 --> 00:52:17,437 Dr. William T. Choctaw: We want to help to make you available on a 880 00:52:17,437 --> 00:52:20,447 regular basis as as as possible to 881 00:52:20,447 --> 00:52:20,627 Rudy: help. 882 00:52:21,677 --> 00:52:25,837 Well, I'd come back every month and we can talk about one thing in particular that. 883 00:52:26,262 --> 00:52:29,352 Like maybe next month, what should a student be doing for 884 00:52:29,352 --> 00:52:31,552 spring break, you know, to okay. 885 00:52:31,692 --> 00:52:31,912 Okay. 886 00:52:32,022 --> 00:52:34,212 And then and then yeah. 887 00:52:34,212 --> 00:52:35,742 And then what should a student be doing? 888 00:52:35,742 --> 00:52:39,202 That's about to graduate high school or graduate college. 889 00:52:39,222 --> 00:52:40,442 What should they be doing? 890 00:52:41,012 --> 00:52:43,302 That they can't get from their counselors advice, or they 891 00:52:43,302 --> 00:52:44,422 can't get from their parents. 892 00:52:44,832 --> 00:52:46,662 Yeah, what should they be doing? 893 00:52:46,662 --> 00:52:47,562 What should they be focusing on? 894 00:52:48,612 --> 00:52:51,192 So yeah, I'm, I'm whenever you want me back. 895 00:52:51,192 --> 00:52:51,862 Dr. William T. Choctaw: Why don't we do that? 896 00:52:51,862 --> 00:52:53,412 We'll set up a monthly thing. 897 00:52:53,552 --> 00:52:56,792 You can send a list of topics that, that, that you think would be 898 00:52:56,792 --> 00:53:01,562 appropriate, but, but we'll coordinate monthly for the next 11 months. 899 00:53:02,622 --> 00:53:03,812 Rudy: That sounds perfect to me. 900 00:53:03,812 --> 00:53:06,652 Right. 901 00:53:06,832 --> 00:53:08,222 Dr. William T. Choctaw: I honestly think that this is an 902 00:53:08,232 --> 00:53:12,462 area that's weak in our education development system for the students. 903 00:53:12,722 --> 00:53:15,832 I think either we have counselors who don't understand the students, 904 00:53:15,842 --> 00:53:20,372 all the students, and maybe are not providing the help that they should 905 00:53:20,392 --> 00:53:23,912 be because of their own, I don't know, limited experience or whatever. 906 00:53:24,417 --> 00:53:26,367 Yeah, I think there's a need is my point. 907 00:53:26,507 --> 00:53:29,767 I think there's a need absolutely for all students regardless 908 00:53:29,767 --> 00:53:30,347 Rudy: of who you are. 909 00:53:31,117 --> 00:53:31,677 Yes. 910 00:53:31,727 --> 00:53:35,247 And, you know, you bring up a very good point about counselors because like Mt. 911 00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:38,857 SAC has I think over 42, 000 students and how can 25 912 00:53:38,857 --> 00:53:41,787 counselors help 42, 000 students. 913 00:53:41,807 --> 00:53:42,757 It's not possible. 914 00:53:43,407 --> 00:53:45,787 And there are some counselors that don't want to help you. 915 00:53:46,197 --> 00:53:48,117 I mean, unfortunately, they think they already 916 00:53:48,117 --> 00:53:49,307 Dr. William T. Choctaw: know they look at you and say, Oh, 917 00:53:49,307 --> 00:53:50,507 no, no, no, you in this group. 918 00:53:50,677 --> 00:53:51,657 Oh, no, no, no, you're in that. 919 00:53:52,177 --> 00:53:52,737 Exactly. 920 00:53:52,757 --> 00:53:53,027 And then 921 00:53:53,027 --> 00:53:57,587 Rudy: which brings up the whole prejudice thing, you know, that sometimes slips in. 922 00:53:57,587 --> 00:54:00,837 We're like, Oh, well, you're African American, you should be doing this. 923 00:54:01,127 --> 00:54:03,427 I mean, Hilda Solis is a perfect example. 924 00:54:03,667 --> 00:54:07,137 When she talks to students, she says, Yeah, I went to my counselor and the 925 00:54:07,137 --> 00:54:11,157 counselor told me I should be a secretary and I should go to Rio Hondo for secretary 926 00:54:11,157 --> 00:54:12,927 classes and she ended up becoming. 927 00:54:13,247 --> 00:54:17,547 The Secretary of Labor for President Obama and everybody 928 00:54:17,737 --> 00:54:20,747 laughs in the audience, I love that. 929 00:54:20,747 --> 00:54:25,617 But you know, think beyond, you know, so yeah, I'm here for you and your audience. 930 00:54:25,867 --> 00:54:27,737 Dr. William T. Choctaw: We will set that up, we will do that 931 00:54:28,077 --> 00:54:30,287 once a year for that reason. 932 00:54:30,507 --> 00:54:35,747 And again, thank you so much, you know, God bless you and continue 933 00:54:35,747 --> 00:54:36,699 with the work that you do. 934 00:54:36,699 --> 00:54:37,257 Of course, likewise. 935 00:54:37,567 --> 00:54:40,177 And we'll both be in touch for february. 936 00:54:42,167 --> 00:54:42,587 Okay. 937 00:54:43,037 --> 00:54:43,347 Rudy: Thank you, sir. 938 00:54:43,427 --> 00:54:43,877 Take care. 939 00:54:43,877 --> 00:54:44,527 Take care. 940 00:54:44,527 --> 00:54:44,817 All right. 941 00:54:45,037 --> 00:54:46,087 Bye bye You too