Transcript
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: My birthday.
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Oh, and so it's always been my favorite
holiday, obviously, for the year.
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Absolutely.
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I have two sons between us, two on each
side, two on my side and two on her side.
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And on my side my youngest son with
his three kids, who are all boys,
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came up a few days before Christmas
and spent some time with us.
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And then this past week on her side our
son and, and daughter in law and two kids
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came and spent the whole week with us.
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And they just left yesterday.
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So we, we, we've sort of had a whirlwind
type of period of time to say the least.
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Well, listen, I am very grateful and
appreciative of you taking out of
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your busy schedule to spend a couple
of times with us and my hope is
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that we can do this more than once.
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I just think that this is an
important title in terms of the work
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that you do and the work that you
do with, with, with young people.
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So what, what I'll do, I'll just sort
of, I'll throw out some general questions
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that, that we ask, and then we'll go into
the formal, into the formal interview.
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I used to start off with just sort of
asking the interviewee to talk about
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themselves, you know, whatever you
want to tell about your background,
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I'll leave that completely up to you.
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Okay.
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Then I'll have you tell me about what you
do, you know, what what college mentors
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are and what, what does that mean exactly?
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And then usually, I usually end
up with the, on the other side
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about what, what lessons learned.
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What, what have you learned over
these years of doing what you do?
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And then if you have any advice
that you would give to others, and
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those are usually the Three or four
different questions that I sort of
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structure all the interviews around.
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But we, but there, there's
no set way to do this.
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We can do it the way you want.
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And I think that free flow per
interviewee is what adds to the richness
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of these types of interreactions.
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So
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Rudy: does that make sense?
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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If I can, if I can preface this by
saying if the dog starts to yap or
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something and I have to excuse myself.
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Just for a second, because
our son is still asleep.
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I already woke him and told
him I was doing an interview.
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I already took the dog out.
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Sorry, now that fed him to let you know,
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: but
we basically go with the flow.
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I have a very good chief production
officer named Jesse Hammons, and
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he can get rid of any sound that
we don't want him to interview.
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So it's not a problem.
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Okay.
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Welcome ladies and gentlemen, again, to
the Health and Wealth and Wise podcast.
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We're absolutely delighted.
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Absolutely delighted to have a
very special guest with us Mr.
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Rudy Chavarria and he's going to talk
about, he's going to talk about some
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exciting things that he's doing that
quite honestly, I had never heard of,
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you know, as a formal type of activity.
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And so I'm learning
along with our audience.
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So welcome, Rudy.
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Rudy: Thank you.
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It's a pleasure to be here.
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It's an honor to to be
in your presence, Dr.
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Choctaw.
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For all the viewers and listeners to talk
about my background I actually met Dr.
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Choctaw back in 1985.
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I would just graduate as a high school
senior, and I was working with peer
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counseling at Walnut High School.
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I actually started it there, and I, we got
invited by public TV at the local Walnut
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TV station, and it was our principal,
Donald, Donald Skraba, who asked me
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if I wanted to participate in, in this
discussion about drugs and teens and such,
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and that's when I first and you, you had
such a profound impact on me back then in
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85 and that when I saw you at this event
in November, I immediately recognized you
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because you just made such an impact on
my life in very little time I had known
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you and then, you know, driving around
locally and seeing your doctor's office
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with your name, I just always knew you
and I just always, yeah, it was brilliant.
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So.
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To start way back I I always wanted to
be in the entertainment industry, but
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I did not have a, have a direction.
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And so, and I'd always been a
people person and that's why and I'd
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always been in student government.
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And when I graduated, well, at
high school, I went to Mount
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San Antonio college, I had
no idea what I was going for.
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I just wanted to be in the business.
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I was in a band, we were writing songs.
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And I, I just dropped out of Mt.
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SAC because I had no direction.
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I had no no no guidance.
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I didn't even know who to go to
and the counselors that I spoke to
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at the time just were like, okay,
this is, what do you want to do?
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Well, I'm thinking about this, this.
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All right, well, you need to
take these general ed courses.
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This is what you do for the semester and
come back and visit us during the summer.
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It was more, you know, like, and
frankly, it's still that way.
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Colors.
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And so from there, I kind of floundered
a bit, went from job to job, and it was
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in 1987 that a friend of mine she was
a student of psychology at UCLA and she
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was working a summer job at Home Depot.
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She said to me, you know, Rudy, if you
want to be in the entertainment industry,
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what are you doing working at Home Depot?
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And I was just like, oh my
God, yeah, what am I doing?
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So I quit Home Depot, got a
job at Chili's to bust some.
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Tables become a food service.
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So during the day I could go
look for work in the industry.
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And and then I ended up getting
a job at A& M records and it
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pretty much started there.
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And then I went to a school
called Musicians Institute in
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Hollywood, the VIT program to
teach vocals and learn how to sing.
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And it was there that I got into
internships there through MI
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for Warren Chapel publishing.
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GIant Records, Warner Brother Records, and
then I started my own independent record
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company, and then my independent record
company, I was making money, working with
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a bunch of ska punk bands out of Orange
County, and I ended up shutting that down,
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but in the process, and this was during
95, 93, 93 to 95, I shut it down and I
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got a lot of people starting to ask me if
I would market their materials because,
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or their product, because they saw my
flyers everywhere, stickers, posters.
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And this is before the internet,
and email was just starting.
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So
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: you
started your own business, you
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went from working at Home Depot to
starting your own record company.
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Yes.
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Rudy: And this is when, to, what
started me was my confidence.
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What started me, or started my confidence
was the fact that I had done internships.
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And I tell all college students
and all high school students,
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if you want to get involved in
something, start an internship.
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Start shadowing somebody immediately,
whether you want to be a doctor
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or you want to go work with NASA.
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As a matter of fact, over the weekend
I was talking to a girl who's part
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of the family and told her she
wants to be an aerospace engineer.
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And I said, well, you need to
get involved now for two reasons.
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One, you need to start networking,
which is really important.
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And number two, you need to find
out of whether or not this is
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really what you like and really
what you think it is all about.
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Because a lot of what I do now,
counseling with college students.
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They realize this isn't what I want
to do, but they're so far in to
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their education that they have no
choice but to keep going with it.
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And in some cases, a lot of parents
tell their children, if you don't
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do this, if you don't become that
doctor, if you don't become that
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lawyer, we're not paying for your
education, which is, which is horrible.
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So again, internships.
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At any age or shadowing somebody
at any age, high school, definitely
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college is is something that I feel
really helps people decide what
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they want to do with their career.
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And this is where I see, I
see as a counselor now that
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it funnels down into life.
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And what I mean by that is.
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If you're going to do something for the
rest of your life and you're miserable, it
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will funnel down into your personal life.
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It just will.
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If, because you're not happy, so you look
for happiness somewhere else, whether you
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start to have infidelity in your marriage.
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Or you're just a verbally or physically
abusive husband or father, or you
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start drinking alcohol or drugs.
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You're just unhappy.
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So I try to tell students now, hey,
look, you need to do what's going to
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make you happy, or this is the path
you are most likely going to go to.
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And even, you know, of
course, you know, depression,
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: so.
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Well, when I was growing up, I, I
grew up in Nashville, Tennessee,
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and, and I was just thinking about
what you said about the importance of
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internship, and, and I never really
thought about it until you just said it.
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But I remember, at least in Nashville,
local colleges would have, like,
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summer programs where they would
invite high school students who were
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interested in certain areas to do,
I don't know, three or four weeks
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or a month in those summer programs.
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Now, I'm sure it was a recruitment
process for them, but I think, going
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by what you said, For the student, for
us, it was invaluable because it did
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give us an idea about what it might
be like on the other side of that
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fence and, and, and give you ideas.
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Is this really what you wanted?
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Don't, what's not what you want?
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And that sort of thing.
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I think that's next is,
is what I'm trying to say.
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And I think a lot of us
don't even think about that.
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Rudy: Yeah.
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Kind of a jettison a bit.
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I've run into so many different.
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Doctors, lawyers in my profession, and
and throughout life that they have told me
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that really good doctors and really good
lawyers have told me, and you can tell
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what I mean because you can tell they just
love what they do, and I'm staying with
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doctors and lawyers as a topic subject
right now, but those really good ones,
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after I explain what I'm telling you and
your audience, they themselves have said.
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Yeah, I've run into a lot of doctors
and a lot of other lawyers that they
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absolutely hate what they do, but they
do it because they're so involved and
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so in debt and they have a lifestyle and
it's just like, my gosh, I had no idea.
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And then I think to myself, as a,
as, as doctors who are surgeons
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and, and you're, you're performing
these services on people who.
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who really need your help, you
know, and you hate what you do.
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I mean, yes, many of
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: them feel trapped
going back to your previous work, whether
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it's by mom or dad, or whatever the
circumstances are, and they can't get out.
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You know, I, I, I was in medical
school, yeah, with, with students
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who wanted to be musicians.
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They said, I don't want to come to medical
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Rudy: school.
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I
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: don't want to play
in a band, I want to play in a symphony.
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And I didn't appreciate it
as much then as I do now.
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To your point, that once you're
stuck as an adult, or feel stuck
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as an adult, you are miserable,
and not only are you miserable, you
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make everybody around you miserable.
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Rudy: Yes, that that negative energy
spreads like wildfire to the point to
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to if I if I may even militarily, they
tell you, or you ask any drill sergeant,
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they'll tell you if there's a sign
of fear, any one of their soldiers.
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Immediately they take them out of combat
and remove them because that stuff
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spreads quickly to all of the soldiers
and then the machine doesn't work anymore.
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It just starts.
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Yeah.
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And so, but that's with
everything in life.
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So yeah, I mean, yeah.
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So that just that negative
energy, that bad energy
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: let me ask
you another question before you go on.
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I have, and this is just me
and you can help me with this.
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All of my life I was, I was told
by my mother quite young, the
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importance of going to medical school.
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So I've always thought medical school.
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But in general, I felt that counselors,
and this is just me, were not
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always as supportive of students
to do what the student wants to do.
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I'm talking about students
who want to go to college.
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Or go to medical school or law school, and
they said, Well, I don't know, you should
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probably think about blah, blah, blah.
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And, and, and I don't know
whether it's just, just my own
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prejudice, which may be true.
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But I just never felt, or I felt that
they were not nearly as helpful as they
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should be to get students into college.
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Because I have this thing about
getting people into college.
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And I, I, I felt, and you can correct
me here, that that's particularly
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true with minority students.
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Rudy: Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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And so I'm 57 years old and you and I kind
of are within the same generation of, you
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know, there's no Archie Bunkers anymore.
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You know, it's not politically correct.
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00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:06,041
There's, there's no more of, of
there's no more Fred Sanford's.
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Yeah.
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And for those of those of you who are a
younger audience, these are, these are
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characters in TV shows that were very.
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They would push the limit as far as,
you know, the LGBT, the, the race?
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Yes.
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I mean, oh boy.
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You know, they just would be
up in arms in today's 2024.
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But in 19 72, 19 74, it was just the norm.
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Yeah.
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And so I wanna preface this by
answer, by by saying that we come
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from that generation where it's
not that it was accepted, it was
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just like, ah, it is what it is.
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You know, we were moving forward and
as a minority myself, my mother's
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Native American Spaniard and my dad
is Mexican and my wife is full blooded
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Japanese because her mom is Japanese.
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Her parents actually were in the
Manzanar camp during World War II.
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Yeah.
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And her aunt was born in Manzanar.
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She just turned, she just turned 80
and and then her dad is from Mexico.
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So yeah, definitely a lot of prejudice.
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And yes, counselors, including back then,
and I'd have to say even now there is
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prejudice and it's not so much anymore.
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I think of course, I'm not 19 to 23
anymore and I don't talk to counselors.
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But from what I see everything's changed
in the generation now which I love you
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know, you can talk to a 15, 16 year
old, or 18 year old, and they'll just be
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like, eh, LGBT, no big deal, as opposed
to when I was 15, 16, you know, ooh,
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that guy, ooh, that girl, or, but now
this generation is like, eh, whatever,
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who's, who's winning the game, or hey,
well, did you see that, that TikTok
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video, and nobody Kind of cares anymore
because it's being so much more accepted
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and and God bless that definitely God
bless it and to take it a step further
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before I talk about the prejudice with
counselors to take it a step further.
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One of the main reasons why
I was so compelled to start
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college with mentor was.
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You know, you get all that negative
energy and then you compounded from
265
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negative from from counselors peers.
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Yes.
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Society, and that if you are a
minority you get it from your friends.
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Yeah, and, and it's what's interesting
and even the younger people who are
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viewing this, you know what we're talking
about because you can be in sixth grade.
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And you can just tell people don't
like you when you walk into a room and
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you've never even said anything to them.
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And it's the same thing as when
you're 40 years old and you walk
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into an executive meeting and you
can still feel that nobody likes you.
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So I guess what I'm saying
is get used to it, guys.
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It's not going away, but here's,
here's my, my punchline is all of
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that energy that's bad and prejudice
can really push a human being to
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the point where you're suicidal.
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And I've had a few friends of mine who
have been, who have killed themselves.
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One who was 17, one who was 22,
another one who was 54, and these
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were all close to me people.
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And the common denominator in every
one of them was there was something
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that they felt that tore apart their
self confidence, their self confidence,
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then trickled down to their self
worth and their reason for living.
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And that was it.
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And once you cross that line
mentally, that, that's it.
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Then it becomes painful, and the pain
then turns into anxiety, and then the
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00:17:56,551 --> 00:18:02,091
anxiety is, I think, what exacerbates
the depression towards physically
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00:18:02,091 --> 00:18:04,321
painful, because you're getting anxious.
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00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:10,491
And then that's when, when one of
the people that I know, she was 17,
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00:18:10,491 --> 00:18:13,941
who said, I just can't stand the
pain, and I could never understand
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00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:15,021
what she was talking about.
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00:18:15,646 --> 00:18:20,986
But being someone myself who went through
an anxiety period, at that point as
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I was going through my anxiety and my
panic attacks, my anxiety attacks, I
294
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knew exactly what she was talking about.
295
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Now I was never suicidal, but I
knew what she was talking about now.
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anD so I got it.
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I got it.
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Totally got it.
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Again, to go back to your statement
of prejudice from counselors,
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especially people you think
are there to help you, they get
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: paid.
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00:18:44,671 --> 00:18:49,551
So it ends up being a double whammy, you
know, you think they're there to help you.
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And so you tend to put more
emphasis on what they say.
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But either because of their
limitation, mentally, psychologically,
305
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or whatever, Or their jealousy.
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Or jealousy.
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You
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Rudy: can feel when someone's jealous of
you, even when they're older than you.
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You just feel like, wow, really?
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I looked up to you and now you're And I
went through that when I was at school
311
00:19:12,321 --> 00:19:17,151
at Musicians Institute because people
were telling me I was really good.
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00:19:17,561 --> 00:19:21,921
And I, and it started to get around
in school, of course, this was back
313
00:19:21,921 --> 00:19:27,181
then and there were like two or three
different teachers that I could just,
314
00:19:27,181 --> 00:19:30,261
they would look at me and I could
just feel that they didn't want me to
315
00:19:30,261 --> 00:19:32,821
succeed because they weren't succeeding.
316
00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:38,451
And whether it's Musicians Institute,
UCLA, USC Cal State Fullerton, Harvard,
317
00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:42,121
it didn't matter because there will
always be those types of people.
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So it's, it's important.
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To get back to your statement on that.
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Definitely prejudice.
321
00:19:46,946 --> 00:19:47,666
Definitely.
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And the people that I talked
that I've brought up who are
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suicidal, they weren't in mind.
324
00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:53,516
They weren't just minority.
325
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Some of them were.
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00:19:55,781 --> 00:19:59,951
Jewish Christian white,
black African American.
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00:20:01,051 --> 00:20:06,261
So it, it goes beyond, it transcends
color, transcends all of that.
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00:20:06,681 --> 00:20:13,541
And I love to, to, to think that like,
I play a trick with when I do go guest
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00:20:13,571 --> 00:20:17,741
speak, I tell all the students, okay,
I want all of you to close your eyes.
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And when we, when I talked to them about,
but what we're talking about, and so
331
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they all close their eyes and I say.
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I want you to tell me what color am I and
I'll say, Oh, then I'll break into like,
333
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,171
Hey, you say, you know, and blah, blah.
334
00:20:36,181 --> 00:20:40,521
And then they start to smile and
I'll say, and then I'll start to say.
335
00:20:40,921 --> 00:20:44,781
Now, if everybody would please turn
to page forty five, and I'd like you
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00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:50,071
all to start reading we're gonna start
with this chapter, and let's proceed.
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And then they smile, and then I'll say,
yeah, brother, you know what I'm saying?
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00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:58,451
And then they smile, and then
I say, now open your eyes.
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00:20:58,911 --> 00:21:01,041
And they look at me and they're
just like, and they all kind of
340
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laugh and it's like, so it really
is just your perception of yourself.
341
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You can be whoever you want to be.
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Yes.
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And I even tell people that are
musicians to take an, or who are
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entrepreneurs or business people,
marketers, or frankly, any student take
345
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an acting class, acting one on one.
346
00:21:23,906 --> 00:21:27,086
Because that will give you techniques
to pull yourself out of your
347
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shell if you are a shy person.
348
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It will give you techniques that only
an acting professor can teach you.
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And once you turn it on, when they say,
okay, read your script, go ahead, do your
350
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monologue, you're like and they say go.
351
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And you learn how to turn it on.
352
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And then you learn how to turn it off
and it's important to be successful,
353
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I believe, is to have that capability
and that ability to do that.
354
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So, yeah,
355
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Dr. William T. Choctaw: it's interesting.
356
00:21:52,916 --> 00:21:57,476
You say that and it's amazing because
you're sort of like a mirror to me.
357
00:21:57,726 --> 00:22:01,946
And this is the first time we've talked
about this and yes, and all of that.
358
00:22:02,271 --> 00:22:06,191
But I have concluded, similar to
what you've already suggested,
359
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that the most important thing for
young people to get is confidence.
360
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And there are different ways to get that
confidence, there are also different
361
00:22:14,031 --> 00:22:17,581
ways to lose that confidence, you
know, depending on whether you live
362
00:22:17,581 --> 00:22:19,421
in a toxic environment or whatever.
363
00:22:20,271 --> 00:22:24,051
But interestingly, going back to
what you just reminded me of, I had
364
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an English teacher named Gertrude
Britton in my high school in Nashville,
365
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,281
Tennessee and my high school was
not an opposite African American.
366
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:38,871
Who felt it very important to teach
us how to speak, you know, and
367
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that's, oh yeah, she said, you will
not go out of my classroom, because
368
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we were in the deep south, right?
369
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:48,661
You will not go out of my classroom
with, with, with this, this
370
00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,211
southern accent and all that.
371
00:22:50,211 --> 00:22:54,531
So I said, no, and her point was,
you have enough points against you.
372
00:22:54,821 --> 00:22:57,131
And we certainly are going
to add that as another.
373
00:22:57,141 --> 00:23:00,721
So her mission In life, for
all of her students, was you
374
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would speak proper English.
375
00:23:02,331 --> 00:23:04,311
You would speak good diction.
376
00:23:04,311 --> 00:23:05,951
Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
377
00:23:06,681 --> 00:23:09,071
Because that then adds to your confidence.
378
00:23:09,101 --> 00:23:13,071
And she did that by having
a public speaking group.
379
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:18,126
You know, we used to do orations
in competition to teach us how to
380
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:23,016
articulate words and sentences and
paragraphs to build up our self
381
00:23:23,016 --> 00:23:23,756
Rudy: confidence.
382
00:23:23,896 --> 00:23:26,476
And I couldn't agree with you more.
383
00:23:26,626 --> 00:23:27,996
Speaking is so important.
384
00:23:29,046 --> 00:23:35,675
I tell students I tell, I
tell students all the time.
385
00:23:35,675 --> 00:23:37,772
I tell them.
386
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:52,082
Make sure you read and I also tell them
make sure you understand and build your
387
00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:57,312
vocabulary and, and, you know, to go along
with what she was doing and I tell them
388
00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,352
why it's important because it's one thing
to be like, yeah, I know what I'm saying.
389
00:24:00,902 --> 00:24:06,202
And then another thing to say, like to be
able to say, you know, let's jettison to
390
00:24:06,202 --> 00:24:10,692
the next topic and, and they kind of like
look at me and I'm like, I'm telling you,
391
00:24:10,692 --> 00:24:15,682
you know, if I talk to you in one way,
and then I talk to you another way, you're
392
00:24:15,682 --> 00:24:17,352
going to look at me completely different.
393
00:24:17,812 --> 00:24:19,942
And I, and so I tell students.
394
00:24:20,962 --> 00:24:21,152
Sorry.
395
00:24:22,142 --> 00:24:22,712
Oh, go ahead.
396
00:24:22,832 --> 00:24:23,992
I'll take a look around.
397
00:24:25,032 --> 00:24:25,212
Okay.
398
00:24:28,077 --> 00:24:29,107
Leave him in the cage, please.
399
00:24:29,137 --> 00:24:30,247
I'll be right there.
400
00:24:30,847 --> 00:24:31,567
Leave him in the cage.
401
00:24:32,807 --> 00:24:33,067
I'm sorry.
402
00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:39,547
So I, so as I was saying, I tell students
to expand your vocabulary because it's
403
00:24:39,547 --> 00:24:46,072
really important to be able to articulate
and know how to Articulate what you're
404
00:24:46,072 --> 00:24:46,952
trying to communicate to people.
405
00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:49,902
The better your vocabulary,
the easier it will become.
406
00:24:51,392 --> 00:24:52,622
And the more confident you'll get.
407
00:24:54,972 --> 00:24:58,052
Dr. William T. Choctaw: But when you
advise students, and you work with a lot
408
00:24:58,052 --> 00:25:04,752
of students in different areas college
and high school, what are some of the most
409
00:25:04,752 --> 00:25:10,722
common issues that you see come up from
the students that they have to deal with?
410
00:25:10,732 --> 00:25:14,422
That maybe, if they had done
some things before that time,
411
00:25:14,422 --> 00:25:15,882
it would be easier for them.
412
00:25:17,672 --> 00:25:23,602
Rudy: Well, the first thing is like you
had said confidence because I'm working
413
00:25:23,602 --> 00:25:28,902
with a student who's 33 in medical school
in Arkansas, and I'm working with a
414
00:25:28,902 --> 00:25:31,972
high school student who's in Cincinnati.
415
00:25:32,272 --> 00:25:35,052
She's going to be going to
she actually met I met her
416
00:25:35,052 --> 00:25:36,512
out here about two months ago.
417
00:25:37,172 --> 00:25:39,172
She was looking at different
universities to go to.
418
00:25:42,852 --> 00:25:47,182
And it's confidence and certain mentors.
419
00:25:48,012 --> 00:25:55,772
We'll take you so far and I tell that to
my mentors that they have to know when
420
00:25:55,772 --> 00:25:57,532
the student doesn't need them anymore.
421
00:25:58,382 --> 00:26:03,422
And the student will eventually know
when I need to move to a new mentor.
422
00:26:04,422 --> 00:26:09,392
And I think that's really
important to be selfless.
423
00:26:09,672 --> 00:26:09,772
Thank you.
424
00:26:11,437 --> 00:26:15,987
As a mentor, to be able to
say, you don't need me anymore.
425
00:26:16,757 --> 00:26:21,027
It's nice to get the money, but to be
able to say, you don't need me anymore.
426
00:26:21,467 --> 00:26:26,347
And for a student to be able to realize,
I don't need this mentor anymore.
427
00:26:26,767 --> 00:26:29,037
So again, it would be confidence.
428
00:26:29,307 --> 00:26:33,447
And whether it's the student in
medical school or the high school
429
00:26:33,447 --> 00:26:35,857
student, there's that certain level of.
430
00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:40,902
Confidence that they need to push
themselves through to the next level.
431
00:26:42,722 --> 00:26:46,222
And so I, sorry, self esteem.
432
00:26:47,547 --> 00:26:47,897
Dr. William T. Choctaw: Right.
433
00:26:48,237 --> 00:26:51,697
How do you advise students many times
who are in an environment where maybe
434
00:26:51,697 --> 00:26:56,137
they may be the first one in their
family to go to college, potentially
435
00:26:56,137 --> 00:27:01,177
go to college, but yet there's a lot of
negative energy around them either say
436
00:27:01,187 --> 00:27:05,767
mom or dad may not have gone to college
and may or may not be as supportive as
437
00:27:05,767 --> 00:27:09,682
they should be certainly their friends
have nodded their sort of Teasing
438
00:27:09,682 --> 00:27:12,802
them a lot or you think you're better
than us, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
439
00:27:13,282 --> 00:27:18,052
How do you, how do you help them
to get out of that, that level
440
00:27:18,102 --> 00:27:19,432
and get to that next level?
441
00:27:20,132 --> 00:27:26,082
Rudy: Yes you have to
show them the better life.
442
00:27:26,742 --> 00:27:27,172
Okay.
443
00:27:27,772 --> 00:27:31,232
You have to show them so they
can see and they can hear it.
444
00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:35,432
And when I first started the company,
I met with a couple of people up in
445
00:27:35,672 --> 00:27:39,042
Palo Alto, California, good friends
of mine helping me with the company.
446
00:27:40,087 --> 00:27:43,647
And one of them brought their
their son, 17 year old, who was a
447
00:27:43,647 --> 00:27:45,867
student of Berkeley Chinese kid.
448
00:27:46,617 --> 00:27:52,547
And as myself, his dad, and my business
partner were talking at dinner, he
449
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:57,637
was sitting there quiet in the table,
and he had one thing to say to me.
450
00:27:57,637 --> 00:27:59,607
He said, how do you plan on mentoring us?
451
00:28:00,967 --> 00:28:04,687
And this kind of goes along with my
answer to the question you're asking.
452
00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:10,372
I, I, I leaned in towards him and
I said, stories, I said, because
453
00:28:10,372 --> 00:28:14,702
if I sit here and I tell you, you
need to do this, you should consider
454
00:28:14,702 --> 00:28:16,792
this, you need to think about this.
455
00:28:17,337 --> 00:28:18,997
It's going to go right over your head.
456
00:28:19,637 --> 00:28:21,907
You're going to think, who's
this dude trying to tell me?
457
00:28:22,727 --> 00:28:25,657
I go, the guy, and you know, who's
this dude trying to tell me about the
458
00:28:25,657 --> 00:28:29,057
future or my future when he probably
doesn't even have a Snapchat account.
459
00:28:29,447 --> 00:28:31,587
He probably doesn't have a
TikTok account and he's going
460
00:28:31,587 --> 00:28:33,177
to tell me about the future.
461
00:28:34,127 --> 00:28:38,157
And he smiled and I said, but if
I tell you a story, I said like
462
00:28:38,157 --> 00:28:41,007
the stories that your dad just
shared with me, I go, did you know
463
00:28:41,007 --> 00:28:42,367
your dad went through all of that?
464
00:28:43,237 --> 00:28:46,207
And he looked at his dad and his dad
smiled and he goes, no, I didn't.
465
00:28:47,002 --> 00:28:48,402
I go, that was a story.
466
00:28:48,742 --> 00:28:50,082
I go, what about all the other things?
467
00:28:50,082 --> 00:28:51,202
You're hearing these stories.
468
00:28:52,012 --> 00:28:53,672
I go, your mind is spinning.
469
00:28:54,272 --> 00:28:58,562
I go, if I tell you a story, you know,
maybe you should hear, maybe you should,
470
00:28:59,082 --> 00:29:03,232
you know, if I tell you a story about
something I went through, then you're
471
00:29:03,232 --> 00:29:04,932
going to apply it to your own life.
472
00:29:05,752 --> 00:29:07,822
And then you'll start to ask me questions.
473
00:29:07,922 --> 00:29:09,892
I go, that's how I plan on doing it.
474
00:29:09,952 --> 00:29:11,602
Everybody's going to have their own story.
475
00:29:11,872 --> 00:29:13,482
Their own testimony, if you will.
476
00:29:14,172 --> 00:29:18,192
And that is what's going to make
you feel like, okay, not only can
477
00:29:18,192 --> 00:29:22,737
I trust you, But yeah, now I'm, now
I'm curious, how can you, what do
478
00:29:22,737 --> 00:29:24,317
you think about this situation, Rudy?
479
00:29:24,807 --> 00:29:26,127
And that's where it begins.
480
00:29:26,137 --> 00:29:31,877
So, so so that's one part of it,
by telling stories but also for the
481
00:29:31,877 --> 00:29:36,197
person who is trying to escape the
negative energy, whether it's parents,
482
00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:39,317
and one of the schools that I spoke
to, Santa Ana High School, one of
483
00:29:39,317 --> 00:29:44,217
the biggest problems they have is the
dropout rate for community college.
484
00:29:45,197 --> 00:29:45,677
Yes.
485
00:29:45,957 --> 00:29:49,477
It's 50 percent and more
on the first semester.
486
00:29:50,052 --> 00:29:53,222
And a lot of it is because the
Hispanic family that they come from,
487
00:29:53,852 --> 00:29:57,742
they rely on the high school student
to make an extra income working at
488
00:29:57,742 --> 00:30:01,072
McDonald's or wherever, wherever it is.
489
00:30:01,422 --> 00:30:06,892
So this way they can help feed the family,
which is a huge burden on, on on kids.
490
00:30:07,442 --> 00:30:09,812
And so to answer your
question is to show them.
491
00:30:10,232 --> 00:30:14,722
The better life that they feel that
they don't deserve, but the better life
492
00:30:14,722 --> 00:30:20,902
that is out there that they totally
deserve that, that so they can see
493
00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:26,472
that if they, they do the time in
school, this is what you'll get for it.
494
00:30:27,042 --> 00:30:29,252
If they do the time in a trade school.
495
00:30:29,962 --> 00:30:31,402
This is what you'll get from it.
496
00:30:32,042 --> 00:30:36,592
And then I take it a step further, and
I'm, I'm actually going into, I spoke at
497
00:30:36,592 --> 00:30:42,652
a continuation school in early December,
and a couple of the students were just
498
00:30:42,652 --> 00:30:46,432
kind of, yeah, yeah, whatever dude,
but I focused on three or four of them,
499
00:30:47,162 --> 00:30:48,822
and I, and I call them out by name.
500
00:30:48,822 --> 00:30:49,692
What do you like doing?
501
00:30:50,742 --> 00:30:52,182
Well, I like this.
502
00:30:52,462 --> 00:30:53,882
What are you going to
do when you graduate?
503
00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:57,982
Well, I'm probably going to be
an electrician and I'm brilliant.
504
00:30:58,502 --> 00:30:58,962
Excellent.
505
00:30:59,492 --> 00:31:03,612
And then I go to the whiteboard and I
said, this is what his name was Daniel.
506
00:31:03,622 --> 00:31:07,202
This is what Daniel can
expect when he graduates.
507
00:31:07,312 --> 00:31:08,952
And I said, now all of you follow this.
508
00:31:09,662 --> 00:31:15,022
I told him how much rent costs nowadays,
$2,600 for a two bedroom apartment.
509
00:31:15,802 --> 00:31:18,322
And I wrote it all down a month, times 12.
510
00:31:18,412 --> 00:31:23,322
And then I wrote down electricity, $200
a month, times 12 gas, blah, blah, blah.
511
00:31:23,792 --> 00:31:28,862
And then I wrote down, Daniel's
gonna make 30, $33 a month, or
512
00:31:28,862 --> 00:31:33,382
sorry, an hour as an electrician
starting out for 28 to $33 a month.
513
00:31:33,412 --> 00:31:36,922
And I wrote that out times
12 times four times, 40 times
514
00:31:37,572 --> 00:31:39,177
four weeks times 12 months.
515
00:31:40,087 --> 00:31:43,537
And then I wrote down, if you don't
have a degree, or you don't have
516
00:31:43,537 --> 00:31:47,397
a trade school, you're gonna make
probably 18 to 20 dollars an hour.
517
00:31:47,937 --> 00:31:50,857
But I wrote that down,
and they can see it.
518
00:31:50,967 --> 00:31:52,847
They can see that, wow.
519
00:31:53,337 --> 00:31:55,197
And then I said, oh, and
you wanna go to the movies?
520
00:31:55,842 --> 00:31:55,872
Yes.
521
00:31:55,882 --> 00:31:59,279
You're going to drop
100 to go to the movies.
522
00:31:59,279 --> 00:32:03,972
And you're going to, and then gas for your
car and you want, you want a nice car.
523
00:32:04,012 --> 00:32:04,362
Okay.
524
00:32:04,362 --> 00:32:06,602
And you have a girlfriend or a
boyfriend and you have all this,
525
00:32:06,942 --> 00:32:08,632
and I'm like, this is your life.
526
00:32:09,412 --> 00:32:10,952
This is where you guys are headed.
527
00:32:11,552 --> 00:32:15,312
And I said, now Daniel, on the other
hand, goes to trade school, becomes
528
00:32:15,312 --> 00:32:19,212
an electrician, works with his dad,
his dad gets him into the company.
529
00:32:19,682 --> 00:32:21,022
He starts to make money.
530
00:32:22,072 --> 00:32:24,592
He lives with his parents, which
is totally cool because he's saving
531
00:32:24,592 --> 00:32:29,652
money and he saves enough money to
buy an apartment complex, a duplex.
532
00:32:29,922 --> 00:32:35,522
He rents one out and he lives in
the other and the mortgage comes,
533
00:32:35,552 --> 00:32:37,772
the mortgage payment comes from
the one that he's renting out.
534
00:32:37,772 --> 00:32:39,362
So he's essentially living rent free.
535
00:32:39,542 --> 00:32:40,462
He's an electrician.
536
00:32:40,712 --> 00:32:42,432
He knows how to fix
things around the house.
537
00:32:42,442 --> 00:32:44,432
He doesn't have to call
anybody to fix anything.
538
00:32:44,952 --> 00:32:48,702
He lives there until he and his
girlfriend or his partner decide
539
00:32:48,702 --> 00:32:49,742
they're going to get married.
540
00:32:50,382 --> 00:32:55,292
Then they take out a loan on the
apartment and they go buy their own home.
541
00:32:55,612 --> 00:32:57,112
They both have good jobs.
542
00:32:57,502 --> 00:32:59,402
They live there for maybe seven years.
543
00:32:59,402 --> 00:33:02,312
Then they take out another
loan against the apartment and
544
00:33:02,312 --> 00:33:03,332
against the house they own.
545
00:33:03,372 --> 00:33:05,962
And they buy another building apartment.
546
00:33:06,712 --> 00:33:10,062
And then by the time they're
50, they own four apartments.
547
00:33:10,152 --> 00:33:14,012
They sell them all and buy one
big building that has 60 tenants.
548
00:33:14,647 --> 00:33:20,747
At 4, 000 a month, when I write down
60 times 4, 000 people, I'm like,
549
00:33:20,837 --> 00:33:23,347
this is what Daniel's life can be.
550
00:33:24,407 --> 00:33:27,187
60, I said, 4, 000 times 60 tenants.
551
00:33:27,227 --> 00:33:29,197
You guys tell me what he's
going to make a month.
552
00:33:29,407 --> 00:33:35,167
And I'm like, wow, over 200, 000 a
month is what he's going to be making.
553
00:33:36,067 --> 00:33:38,287
And I say to him, this is your life.
554
00:33:38,832 --> 00:33:42,182
So, to answer your question, how
do you pull somebody out of that?
555
00:33:42,842 --> 00:33:44,072
You show it to them.
556
00:33:44,362 --> 00:33:45,822
You show them a better life.
557
00:33:45,942 --> 00:33:49,352
And then they start to
feel like, I can do this.
558
00:33:49,362 --> 00:33:50,142
That it's doable.
559
00:33:51,732 --> 00:33:52,412
Doable.
560
00:33:52,872 --> 00:33:53,804
Because of the math.
561
00:33:53,804 --> 00:33:54,852
Dr. William T. Choctaw: But you know what?
562
00:33:56,102 --> 00:34:00,827
That's just a brilliant point, because
what I see, and again, I'll get this.
563
00:34:02,177 --> 00:34:07,457
I've had this belief system that a lot
of students, and I'm talking about my
564
00:34:07,457 --> 00:34:11,377
students who, who have to struggle,
you know, whether it's because they're,
565
00:34:11,407 --> 00:34:16,207
they're from families that, that are poor
or they're minority or both or whatever.
566
00:34:16,577 --> 00:34:20,217
And many times, they,
they want the better life.
567
00:34:20,247 --> 00:34:21,357
They want to do well.
568
00:34:21,377 --> 00:34:22,857
They're willing to work well.
569
00:34:22,857 --> 00:34:24,897
But there are traps for them.
570
00:34:25,077 --> 00:34:26,277
There are traps out there for them.
571
00:34:26,937 --> 00:34:27,747
One of the traps.
572
00:34:28,557 --> 00:34:32,827
Is these places they call themselves
colleges and universities and they're
573
00:34:32,837 --> 00:34:37,627
not colleges and universities and
they take our best and our brightest
574
00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:42,197
who save what little they have when
they get into a place, and I'll
575
00:34:42,207 --> 00:34:44,247
throw a name out Trump University.
576
00:34:44,672 --> 00:34:49,442
And thinking that they're going to a
university, but it's not a university.
577
00:34:49,442 --> 00:34:51,632
They can't transfer those credits.
578
00:34:51,822 --> 00:34:56,412
They can't take that and take an exam
and go up into a different profession.
579
00:34:56,812 --> 00:35:00,152
How do you protect
students from the traps?
580
00:35:00,672 --> 00:35:05,002
out there where people try to take
advantage of them, which ends up then
581
00:35:05,022 --> 00:35:08,732
either pushing them into depression
or make them give up altogether.
582
00:35:11,402 --> 00:35:12,452
Rudy: That's a very good question.
583
00:35:13,502 --> 00:35:17,792
And, and I'll give two examples.
584
00:35:17,802 --> 00:35:22,422
One and I only give it religiously.
585
00:35:22,902 --> 00:35:31,227
What I mean by that is in Christianity
God blesses you with gifts and talents,
586
00:35:32,067 --> 00:35:37,747
and he wants you to be the light of the
world for you to go up to the tallest
587
00:35:37,757 --> 00:35:48,887
tree, and so people will see you, and then
you will selflessly say, I am blessed,
588
00:35:48,997 --> 00:35:53,667
and it's not from me, it's from God,
but I am here to spread positive energy
589
00:35:54,117 --> 00:35:55,837
with the gifts and talents that I have.
590
00:35:57,057 --> 00:36:05,017
And so that, I got so lost in that,
that visual that I forgot your question.
591
00:36:05,027 --> 00:36:05,387
That's okay.
592
00:36:06,727 --> 00:36:06,807
Dr. William T. Choctaw: Forgive me.
593
00:36:06,947 --> 00:36:10,177
And I am Christian, by the way, so you're,
you're, you're, you're, you're in good,
594
00:36:10,197 --> 00:36:11,527
you're, you're in good company here.
595
00:36:11,527 --> 00:36:12,047
It's okay.
596
00:36:12,097 --> 00:36:12,567
Okay.
597
00:36:12,617 --> 00:36:17,392
Rudy: So how, how, you, you had asked,
how does a person, How does a student
598
00:36:19,012 --> 00:36:27,432
get beyond, you know that trap and so the
example I just gave you, you know, to be,
599
00:36:27,752 --> 00:36:32,482
use the God given gifts that you have and
talents and, and whatever God it might
600
00:36:32,482 --> 00:36:36,012
be, it could be Buddha, it could be Allah.
601
00:36:36,437 --> 00:36:37,437
It doesn't matter.
602
00:36:38,187 --> 00:36:43,667
It's just God given talent that
you have that can not be buried.
603
00:36:44,147 --> 00:36:47,977
And there are plenty of stories, as
you know, in the Bible of the, of the
604
00:36:47,977 --> 00:36:51,537
three sons that the father said to one
of the son, I'm going to give you all,
605
00:36:51,537 --> 00:36:53,647
I'm just going to paraphrase this.
606
00:36:53,647 --> 00:36:56,687
I'm going to give you all 10, 000
and I want you to, it's your money.
607
00:36:56,697 --> 00:36:57,337
Do what you want.
608
00:36:57,337 --> 00:36:59,757
One son goes out and blows it in parties.
609
00:37:00,197 --> 00:37:06,047
The other goes out and, and, and invests
it into a business because bankrupt, but
610
00:37:07,037 --> 00:37:11,907
And then the other son takes the 10, 000
and he buries it because he doesn't want
611
00:37:11,907 --> 00:37:13,397
to touch it, doesn't want to lose it.
612
00:37:13,827 --> 00:37:17,477
And then the father comes back and is
praising the other two sons, one who
613
00:37:17,477 --> 00:37:22,287
blew it, it parted away, the other
one who tried to be an entrepreneur,
614
00:37:22,677 --> 00:37:26,367
and he gets angry at the son who took
his talent and buried it in the dirt.
615
00:37:27,732 --> 00:37:29,992
So how to avoid getting into that trap.
616
00:37:31,702 --> 00:37:35,412
And I tell that story because that
was a very selfless act of those two
617
00:37:35,412 --> 00:37:37,842
boys who, two sons who just blew it.
618
00:37:39,012 --> 00:37:44,252
But on another hand, it wasn't,
it wasn't selfish of them because
619
00:37:44,732 --> 00:37:46,102
they were given that money.
620
00:37:46,212 --> 00:37:51,852
So it wasn't selfish of them to do what
they wanted with it without having any
621
00:37:52,322 --> 00:37:54,912
guilt or responsibility to their dad.
622
00:37:55,012 --> 00:37:56,742
And that's what their dad loved.
623
00:37:57,777 --> 00:38:00,627
Because he wanted to give it to him
and said, do what you want with it.
624
00:38:00,937 --> 00:38:04,227
And they did what they want with
it without any parental guilt.
625
00:38:04,567 --> 00:38:06,577
And that's, so that's to
tap onto your question.
626
00:38:06,587 --> 00:38:09,137
How do you pull up, get out of that trap?
627
00:38:09,437 --> 00:38:10,957
Because parents are that way too.
628
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,977
They can put their children into
a trap of, you need to do this.
629
00:38:14,557 --> 00:38:17,847
And even though the son or daughter may
feel like, well, this is what I want to
630
00:38:17,847 --> 00:38:22,397
do, they will stop from doing it because
they feel that guilt of their parent.
631
00:38:23,537 --> 00:38:27,867
And they won't do it because their
parent has drilled in them so much.
632
00:38:29,342 --> 00:38:33,442
aNd, and helicopter parents in
particular, or bulldozer parents in
633
00:38:33,442 --> 00:38:38,202
particular, that their child grows up
thinking, I'd love to, but I can't.
634
00:38:38,492 --> 00:38:41,552
And that again, funnels down into
their marriage because their spouse
635
00:38:41,552 --> 00:38:43,472
might be very, Hey, let's go do this.
636
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:45,052
Hey, I'm going to do this.
637
00:38:45,522 --> 00:38:49,142
But the, but they will be like, Oh,
I can't because of my mom and dad.
638
00:38:49,582 --> 00:38:50,862
And they're like, Hey, we're married.
639
00:38:51,432 --> 00:38:53,332
You know, we're going to
do what we want to do.
640
00:38:53,342 --> 00:38:56,862
We're going to raise our kids the
way we want to raise our kids to
641
00:38:56,862 --> 00:38:58,272
pull yourself out of the trap.
642
00:38:58,272 --> 00:38:59,092
It's not only.
643
00:38:59,662 --> 00:39:01,042
Collegiate, if you will.
644
00:39:01,042 --> 00:39:03,082
It's also parental.
645
00:39:03,732 --> 00:39:03,822
Mm-Hmm.
646
00:39:04,062 --> 00:39:05,202
. And as an individual.
647
00:39:05,582 --> 00:39:13,362
So to answer that question, to funnel
all down, to answer one question and
648
00:39:13,362 --> 00:39:19,422
give you one word, and that is selfish
because you have to be a selfish
649
00:39:19,422 --> 00:39:21,462
individual, a selfish human being.
650
00:39:21,732 --> 00:39:28,882
Knowing that I only have one life, God
gave me the talents to do what I can do.
651
00:39:29,892 --> 00:39:34,272
So when I am on my deathbed, I
can say I lived a happy life.
652
00:39:34,277 --> 00:39:35,322
I have no regrets.
653
00:39:36,112 --> 00:39:40,442
And I used what God gave me
and granted people called me
654
00:39:40,452 --> 00:39:43,162
selfish, but I know I'm not.
655
00:39:44,312 --> 00:39:46,932
I just did what I wanted to
do with what God gave me.
656
00:39:47,632 --> 00:39:50,392
So to answer your question, you
have to be a selfish human being.
657
00:39:50,862 --> 00:39:54,932
Now there are people who, who take it
to the limit, like Steve Jobs or, or
658
00:39:54,972 --> 00:40:02,342
Elon Musk, who, you know, people are
just like, have been portrayed as just
659
00:40:02,422 --> 00:40:05,382
mean human beings, but think about it.
660
00:40:05,392 --> 00:40:07,112
Those people are so focused.
661
00:40:07,532 --> 00:40:10,432
That there's nothing that
matters to them, but their goal.
662
00:40:11,282 --> 00:40:15,062
And they'll frankly crap on
everybody around them, family and
663
00:40:15,062 --> 00:40:16,932
friends to get what they want.
664
00:40:17,802 --> 00:40:20,512
bUt I, but to answer your question,
you have to be a selfish person.
665
00:40:21,322 --> 00:40:24,542
And I don't think the word
selfish in this case is a, is
666
00:40:24,542 --> 00:40:26,172
a bad word or a negative word.
667
00:40:26,172 --> 00:40:32,522
I think it's a very, it's a word that I
believe that people should, should say
668
00:40:32,522 --> 00:40:34,212
to themselves, I'm going to be selfish.
669
00:40:34,392 --> 00:40:37,762
And as you can probably know, one of
the key things of being successful.
670
00:40:38,512 --> 00:40:43,182
Is having the ability to say, no, Hey
we're going to go do this when, you know,
671
00:40:43,182 --> 00:40:49,492
we want you to come and you as a son or
daughter say, no, I'm going to go do this.
672
00:40:50,432 --> 00:40:56,192
Or you as, you know, a parent, you
say, no, I'm not going, I need to
673
00:40:56,192 --> 00:41:02,592
work on our taxes or you as, but the
ability to be selfish and the ability
674
00:41:02,592 --> 00:41:06,942
to say no, that to me to answer your
question is the way to avoid that trap.
675
00:41:07,297 --> 00:41:11,027
When people try to put up boundaries,
you say, no, I'm not doing it.
676
00:41:11,377 --> 00:41:12,877
I'm, no, I'm not doing it.
677
00:41:12,997 --> 00:41:15,907
And that's one of the things that
I tell students that I'm mentoring.
678
00:41:16,627 --> 00:41:18,897
You have to have a list of standards.
679
00:41:19,457 --> 00:41:24,577
You have to write down my list of
standards as an, as, yes, as a friend.
680
00:41:24,957 --> 00:41:26,327
This is my standards list.
681
00:41:26,327 --> 00:41:29,317
If you're going to be a friend of mine,
you're going to live by my standards.
682
00:41:29,317 --> 00:41:32,107
If you're going to be my
spouse, these are my standards.
683
00:41:32,697 --> 00:41:35,557
If you're going to be my business
partner, these are my standards.
684
00:41:35,907 --> 00:41:41,447
And if you're going to be, you know my,
well, I said it, my spouse, whatever,
685
00:41:42,397 --> 00:41:46,357
there's a list of standards where you
yourself will say, I will not cross these
686
00:41:46,357 --> 00:41:52,467
lines because then it affects me as a
human being and I can't be 100 percent me.
687
00:41:53,917 --> 00:41:59,367
So yeah, that's your question to, to
get out of that trap, to be selfish.
688
00:41:59,967 --> 00:42:02,417
Have your list of standards that
689
00:42:02,427 --> 00:42:04,027
Dr. William T. Choctaw: makes
perfect sense that the students
690
00:42:04,027 --> 00:42:05,587
have to be focused and relentless.
691
00:42:05,937 --> 00:42:10,407
I mean, I'm sure we can all remember in
college, you know, when we wanted to go
692
00:42:10,407 --> 00:42:11,887
to the part of it to say, you know what?
693
00:42:11,887 --> 00:42:17,487
I got, I got a chemistry exam tomorrow
and I'm not doing well on chemistry.
694
00:42:18,217 --> 00:42:22,927
I really need to stay here and study
and it's making those choices and
695
00:42:22,927 --> 00:42:27,947
giving yourself permission to make
those choices that that are okay.
696
00:42:27,977 --> 00:42:28,707
That's okay.
697
00:42:29,017 --> 00:42:32,357
And, and I, and you touched on another
thing that I think is important also.
698
00:42:32,597 --> 00:42:37,237
I think there should be some, some
religious connection there, you know,
699
00:42:37,237 --> 00:42:42,247
and as I said, you can choose what you
like, but I think that to, to your point
700
00:42:42,487 --> 00:42:47,437
helps you maintain those standards,
you know, or helps you create them.
701
00:42:47,657 --> 00:42:50,767
So, no, no, no, I'm not just
out here doing X, Y, and Z.
702
00:42:50,957 --> 00:42:51,977
I have a purpose.
703
00:42:52,562 --> 00:42:56,772
And either this is in alignment with my
purpose or it's not in alignment with,
704
00:42:57,772 --> 00:42:59,832
and if it's not, then I need to let it go.
705
00:42:59,972 --> 00:43:00,952
And that includes people.
706
00:43:01,332 --> 00:43:03,092
I'm sorry, I need to let it go.
707
00:43:03,562 --> 00:43:08,012
I'm on my way to law school or
medical school or graduate school.
708
00:43:08,042 --> 00:43:10,822
I can't get involved with drugs right now.
709
00:43:11,292 --> 00:43:12,702
I won't even get out of college.
710
00:43:13,712 --> 00:43:14,992
I think that's excellent advice.
711
00:43:15,762 --> 00:43:16,122
Excellent advice.
712
00:43:16,122 --> 00:43:19,532
Rudy: And you bring up friends.
713
00:43:21,702 --> 00:43:26,242
That whether it's friends or family,
they may hate you, may talk about you,
714
00:43:26,242 --> 00:43:29,952
but in the end, yes, we'll respect you.
715
00:43:30,222 --> 00:43:30,782
Yes.
716
00:43:30,892 --> 00:43:33,982
And they won't let anybody talk
bad about you because it's true.
717
00:43:34,052 --> 00:43:39,012
And it's always, yeah, they will be
like, like, Hey man, you know, Hey bro.
718
00:43:39,012 --> 00:43:43,612
Hey, you know, like, Hey, hey, they'll
just talk so good about you in the end.
719
00:43:43,612 --> 00:43:46,762
And whether that's family,
friends or colleagues.
720
00:43:47,122 --> 00:43:51,122
And like you had said, you know You
cut the people out of your life who,
721
00:43:52,552 --> 00:43:54,372
who deserve to be, who need to be cut.
722
00:43:54,692 --> 00:43:55,002
Yes.
723
00:43:56,192 --> 00:43:56,582
You.
724
00:43:56,632 --> 00:43:56,922
Yeah.
725
00:43:56,952 --> 00:43:59,592
And if I may, on the, on the
religious Christian thing.
726
00:44:01,352 --> 00:44:06,602
Someone asked me what is the best book
that I, that I would advise and I would,
727
00:44:06,662 --> 00:44:12,992
I would say for a book of stories, the
Bible, both New and Old Testament, because
728
00:44:12,992 --> 00:44:17,052
there are so many stories in there that
you, even if you don't believe, you
729
00:44:17,052 --> 00:44:18,442
just want to read it for entertainment.
730
00:44:18,857 --> 00:44:23,487
You'll read these stories and be like,
wow, or you'll read the if you like
731
00:44:23,487 --> 00:44:29,407
poetry, just pick up psalms, pick up
psalms, and you'll just be like, wow,
732
00:44:29,577 --> 00:44:32,247
you know, I don't need to read T.
733
00:44:32,247 --> 00:44:32,417
S.
734
00:44:32,417 --> 00:44:33,577
Eliot or anybody like that.
735
00:44:33,587 --> 00:44:39,457
Just the stuff here is just fascinating
and just and, and again, I say this
736
00:44:39,457 --> 00:44:42,147
because if you're not a Christian, you're
not religious and you just read it.
737
00:44:42,502 --> 00:44:43,272
For face value.
738
00:44:43,812 --> 00:44:45,562
You will pull something out of that.
739
00:44:46,192 --> 00:44:51,422
And you'll just be blown away like,
wow, you know, so, yeah, you know,
740
00:44:51,722 --> 00:44:54,432
Dr. William T. Choctaw: well, you
know, you, you have been absolutely
741
00:44:55,092 --> 00:44:58,632
excellent in terms of giving us
good advice and things to do and we
742
00:44:58,632 --> 00:45:00,172
want to be respectful of your time.
743
00:45:00,632 --> 00:45:02,282
Let me ask you one question.
744
00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:06,962
What advice would you give to young
people who you normally mentor
745
00:45:07,292 --> 00:45:10,602
or who you're presently mentoring
or will mentor in the future?
746
00:45:11,017 --> 00:45:15,727
Because I think that gap between
home and college is huge.
747
00:45:16,017 --> 00:45:20,247
And I think, to your point, I think
it many times will dictate whether
748
00:45:20,247 --> 00:45:24,987
you succeed or you don't succeed, how
well you navigate that transition from
749
00:45:24,987 --> 00:45:28,847
high school to college, or high school
to whatever is after high school.
750
00:45:29,077 --> 00:45:33,477
But what advice in general would you give,
you know, to all of the parents on the
751
00:45:33,477 --> 00:45:35,277
parents side and on the students side?
752
00:45:37,677 --> 00:45:44,737
Rudy: First of all, I, I think, Humility,
if you're a parent humility in, in, in
753
00:45:44,807 --> 00:45:50,197
the way where you can say as a parent,
I don't know everything, where you as
754
00:45:50,197 --> 00:45:56,247
a parent can say to your child, I don't
know everything, and I am not perfect.
755
00:45:56,397 --> 00:46:00,717
When you can say those two lines to
your son or daughter, the anxiety,
756
00:46:00,747 --> 00:46:07,807
the, the expectation, it becomes more
what your son or daughter will be like.
757
00:46:10,897 --> 00:46:12,957
Cause they, sons and
daughters need to realize.
758
00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:18,012
And I'm sure that there was a point
for you with your parents that my
759
00:46:18,012 --> 00:46:22,732
parents don't know everything and
that's best for me as an individual.
760
00:46:23,502 --> 00:46:26,632
And my mom, my dad isn't Superman.
761
00:46:27,192 --> 00:46:29,602
Like I thought he was, he's a human being.
762
00:46:29,802 --> 00:46:35,452
He's just like me trying to figure it
out, but trying to be the best as you can.
763
00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:37,712
And same with my mom.
764
00:46:38,512 --> 00:46:43,802
But if a parent can just be humble and
admit these things to their child, the.
765
00:46:44,672 --> 00:46:48,252
The expectations, the anxiety,
just, ah, the weight on your
766
00:46:48,252 --> 00:46:50,032
shoulders just, ooh, goes away.
767
00:46:50,562 --> 00:46:52,572
There's that saying, let go and let God.
768
00:46:54,082 --> 00:46:55,322
And it's kind of the same thing.
769
00:46:55,542 --> 00:46:59,192
Let go of thinking you have to be the
perfect parent and tell your son or
770
00:46:59,192 --> 00:47:00,882
daughter that, I don't know everything.
771
00:47:00,942 --> 00:47:02,022
I had to figure it out.
772
00:47:02,032 --> 00:47:04,102
I went exactly what you're going through.
773
00:47:04,642 --> 00:47:07,262
But, but here's where I
can help as your parent.
774
00:47:07,662 --> 00:47:09,202
I am here for you.
775
00:47:10,022 --> 00:47:12,272
Give them a hug or let them hug you.
776
00:47:12,842 --> 00:47:15,362
And here's another last
thing for the parents.
777
00:47:15,957 --> 00:47:22,747
Is to tell them, we are a team, you
and me are a team and your brother and
778
00:47:22,747 --> 00:47:26,747
your dad were a team, even if they're
divorced, it doesn't matter because you
779
00:47:26,747 --> 00:47:30,987
still parents and you can rely on me.
780
00:47:31,157 --> 00:47:31,707
We are a team.
781
00:47:31,727 --> 00:47:35,587
Now, if that parent can't do that,
then I'd have to say that parent
782
00:47:35,597 --> 00:47:36,887
needs to work on themselves.
783
00:47:37,767 --> 00:47:38,777
And there's nothing wrong with that.
784
00:47:39,307 --> 00:47:42,927
And for the, the, the child,
the student to realize.
785
00:47:43,827 --> 00:47:47,367
tHat my mom and dad aren't
perfect, and there are some
786
00:47:47,367 --> 00:47:48,817
things that I can't tell them.
787
00:47:49,307 --> 00:47:51,957
It's best that they don't know,
and I'm talking about the good
788
00:47:51,957 --> 00:47:53,187
things you want to do in your life.
789
00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:58,417
If you're doing, I'm not talking about
drinking or drugs or any of that stuff.
790
00:47:58,757 --> 00:48:01,847
I'm talking about things that you know
you want to do with your life, you
791
00:48:01,847 --> 00:48:03,397
want to study, you want to become.
792
00:48:03,637 --> 00:48:10,017
Sometimes it's best that parents don't
know, and then you do it, and then while
793
00:48:10,017 --> 00:48:11,457
you're doing it, your parents like.
794
00:48:12,717 --> 00:48:14,187
Wow, you did all this.
795
00:48:14,187 --> 00:48:15,087
And I'm like, yeah, I did.
796
00:48:15,757 --> 00:48:16,147
I did.
797
00:48:16,187 --> 00:48:17,247
I did it myself.
798
00:48:18,307 --> 00:48:22,157
And then your parents starts to have
that respect for you because you did it.
799
00:48:22,157 --> 00:48:25,717
And and it goes again, being selfish.
800
00:48:26,147 --> 00:48:31,557
So advice that I would give to a high
school student or a college student is
801
00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,397
do what you want to do with your life.
802
00:48:33,437 --> 00:48:35,267
Well, I don't know what
I want to do, Rudy.
803
00:48:35,597 --> 00:48:37,547
Well, start with what are your talents?
804
00:48:37,942 --> 00:48:38,862
What are you good at?
805
00:48:38,872 --> 00:48:40,442
What do your teachers
tell you you're good at?
806
00:48:40,452 --> 00:48:41,902
What do you know you're good at?
807
00:48:42,272 --> 00:48:42,912
Are you good at math?
808
00:48:42,952 --> 00:48:43,942
No, I'm terrible at math.
809
00:48:44,412 --> 00:48:47,132
Alright, well, I could
never be a business owner.
810
00:48:47,142 --> 00:48:50,472
Yeah, you can, because you
might be a people person.
811
00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:53,352
You might be, and then what do
you do if you don't know math?
812
00:48:53,382 --> 00:48:55,652
You hire the best math people.
813
00:48:57,042 --> 00:48:59,332
Yeah, and you tell them what to do.
814
00:48:59,772 --> 00:49:02,142
Just because you don't know math
doesn't mean you're not smart enough
815
00:49:02,142 --> 00:49:03,512
to be your own business owner.
816
00:49:04,512 --> 00:49:07,102
And so follow your talents,
follow your passion.
817
00:49:07,622 --> 00:49:09,682
Do what you want to do as an individual.
818
00:49:09,792 --> 00:49:10,642
Be selfish.
819
00:49:10,752 --> 00:49:11,342
It's okay.
820
00:49:12,312 --> 00:49:13,772
And and the money will come.
821
00:49:13,772 --> 00:49:16,212
And you'll realize it's
not about the money.
822
00:49:16,302 --> 00:49:18,862
It's about me doing things.
823
00:49:18,982 --> 00:49:20,302
And the money's just gonna come.
824
00:49:20,962 --> 00:49:21,432
So, yeah.
825
00:49:22,442 --> 00:49:22,672
So,
826
00:49:22,952 --> 00:49:25,032
Dr. William T. Choctaw: for the
parents and the students who are
827
00:49:25,032 --> 00:49:28,492
listening to this podcast, how
do they get in touch with you?
828
00:49:29,422 --> 00:49:31,442
If they want to follow up or
829
00:49:31,682 --> 00:49:33,162
Rudy: Yeah.
830
00:49:33,942 --> 00:49:39,402
Yeah, they can contact me Well, you
can go to college web mentor.com Okay.
831
00:49:39,402 --> 00:49:41,082
That's college.com.
832
00:49:42,092 --> 00:49:42,662
Dot com.
833
00:49:42,872 --> 00:49:47,402
And you can reach out to me
personally at Rudy, R-U-D-Y-A-M-P,
834
00:49:47,552 --> 00:49:49,562
Adam Michael paul@gmail.com.
835
00:49:50,242 --> 00:49:51,672
And you know what's interesting?
836
00:49:52,612 --> 00:49:56,182
Since I brought up my website, I used
to have prices up there, like, you know,
837
00:49:56,182 --> 00:49:57,832
cookie cutter pulled up to McDonald's.
838
00:49:57,832 --> 00:50:01,682
I'll take them number one grilled
onions, or number two, or number three.
839
00:50:03,007 --> 00:50:04,547
But I realized that wasn't working.
840
00:50:04,547 --> 00:50:05,887
I wasn't getting any sales.
841
00:50:06,847 --> 00:50:10,017
And then I took the prices off
and then people started calling.
842
00:50:11,167 --> 00:50:12,147
sO there's no prices.
843
00:50:12,147 --> 00:50:17,557
But actually, it hit me that
this is such a delicate situation
844
00:50:17,557 --> 00:50:20,917
and trying to, to help somebody,
you can't put a price on it.
845
00:50:20,917 --> 00:50:24,957
So really it's, I mean, there's
hourly rates, but each individual
846
00:50:24,967 --> 00:50:27,747
mentor is, is, is has their own rates.
847
00:50:29,407 --> 00:50:33,697
And it's more of where you
meet somebody for 20 minutes.
848
00:50:34,377 --> 00:50:37,427
Every other week, and then you
can educate through, through
849
00:50:37,477 --> 00:50:40,157
through Google Docs and journal.
850
00:50:40,157 --> 00:50:42,527
Journaling is really important, and
that's another thing for a parent
851
00:50:42,527 --> 00:50:45,597
and for a student to journal about
what you're going through in life.
852
00:50:46,007 --> 00:50:48,897
Because as you read it and you're
writing it, you're figuring things out.
853
00:50:48,987 --> 00:50:50,627
How to figure problems,
how to problem solve.
854
00:50:51,687 --> 00:50:54,427
A lot of that happens between
the mentors and the students.
855
00:50:55,047 --> 00:50:59,127
And that's I know I'm totally
transitioning here, but but that is
856
00:50:59,137 --> 00:51:02,837
the, the way to get ahold of me through
email and just check out the website.
857
00:51:03,037 --> 00:51:07,527
So, yeah, and I'd love to come back
anytime you want to talk to me.
858
00:51:08,067 --> 00:51:10,077
Dr. William T. Choctaw: We
definitely want to have you back.
859
00:51:10,077 --> 00:51:13,847
And so what I, my request of
you is look at your schedule.
860
00:51:14,737 --> 00:51:18,837
Okay, next few months and see which
month is good for you, but and just
861
00:51:18,837 --> 00:51:22,887
just this shoot me a text on emails
that I'm available during the month
862
00:51:23,477 --> 00:51:28,367
of and we will because I really do
believe this is so important and I
863
00:51:28,367 --> 00:51:32,977
don't think anybody else is talking
about this the way we agree with.
864
00:51:33,497 --> 00:51:34,307
Rudy: I totally agree with
865
00:51:35,357 --> 00:51:35,407
Dr. William T. Choctaw: you.
866
00:51:35,407 --> 00:51:38,697
Everybody just assumes, well, it's all
handled and everybody takes care of it.
867
00:51:38,857 --> 00:51:43,517
It's not all handled because I, to
that point, I have a grandson, my first
868
00:51:43,517 --> 00:51:45,887
grandson who's applying to college.
869
00:51:45,897 --> 00:51:47,507
He's, he's a 3.
870
00:51:47,507 --> 00:51:48,047
8 student.
871
00:51:48,387 --> 00:51:51,037
He's applying to most of the UC schools.
872
00:51:52,012 --> 00:51:56,152
And you know, he's in that, in
that transition, so I'm going
873
00:51:56,162 --> 00:52:00,237
back through this again with him,
you know, and you're right, you
874
00:52:00,237 --> 00:52:03,442
know, he talks in the Instagram,
which I never heard of back then.
875
00:52:04,017 --> 00:52:08,217
But I think a lot of parents go
through this every year and they
876
00:52:08,217 --> 00:52:12,807
need help and I think the resources
are very limited to help them.
877
00:52:12,827 --> 00:52:13,417
Rudy: Yes.
878
00:52:14,227 --> 00:52:14,367
Yes.
879
00:52:14,667 --> 00:52:17,437
Dr. William T. Choctaw: We want
to help to make you available on a
880
00:52:17,437 --> 00:52:20,447
regular basis as as as possible to
881
00:52:20,447 --> 00:52:20,627
Rudy: help.
882
00:52:21,677 --> 00:52:25,837
Well, I'd come back every month and we can
talk about one thing in particular that.
883
00:52:26,262 --> 00:52:29,352
Like maybe next month, what
should a student be doing for
884
00:52:29,352 --> 00:52:31,552
spring break, you know, to okay.
885
00:52:31,692 --> 00:52:31,912
Okay.
886
00:52:32,022 --> 00:52:34,212
And then and then yeah.
887
00:52:34,212 --> 00:52:35,742
And then what should a student be doing?
888
00:52:35,742 --> 00:52:39,202
That's about to graduate high
school or graduate college.
889
00:52:39,222 --> 00:52:40,442
What should they be doing?
890
00:52:41,012 --> 00:52:43,302
That they can't get from their
counselors advice, or they
891
00:52:43,302 --> 00:52:44,422
can't get from their parents.
892
00:52:44,832 --> 00:52:46,662
Yeah, what should they be doing?
893
00:52:46,662 --> 00:52:47,562
What should they be focusing on?
894
00:52:48,612 --> 00:52:51,192
So yeah, I'm, I'm
whenever you want me back.
895
00:52:51,192 --> 00:52:51,862
Dr. William T. Choctaw:
Why don't we do that?
896
00:52:51,862 --> 00:52:53,412
We'll set up a monthly thing.
897
00:52:53,552 --> 00:52:56,792
You can send a list of topics
that, that, that you think would be
898
00:52:56,792 --> 00:53:01,562
appropriate, but, but we'll coordinate
monthly for the next 11 months.
899
00:53:02,622 --> 00:53:03,812
Rudy: That sounds perfect to me.
900
00:53:03,812 --> 00:53:06,652
Right.
901
00:53:06,832 --> 00:53:08,222
Dr. William T. Choctaw: I
honestly think that this is an
902
00:53:08,232 --> 00:53:12,462
area that's weak in our education
development system for the students.
903
00:53:12,722 --> 00:53:15,832
I think either we have counselors
who don't understand the students,
904
00:53:15,842 --> 00:53:20,372
all the students, and maybe are not
providing the help that they should
905
00:53:20,392 --> 00:53:23,912
be because of their own, I don't
know, limited experience or whatever.
906
00:53:24,417 --> 00:53:26,367
Yeah, I think there's a need is my point.
907
00:53:26,507 --> 00:53:29,767
I think there's a need absolutely
for all students regardless
908
00:53:29,767 --> 00:53:30,347
Rudy: of who you are.
909
00:53:31,117 --> 00:53:31,677
Yes.
910
00:53:31,727 --> 00:53:35,247
And, you know, you bring up a very good
point about counselors because like Mt.
911
00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:38,857
SAC has I think over 42,
000 students and how can 25
912
00:53:38,857 --> 00:53:41,787
counselors help 42, 000 students.
913
00:53:41,807 --> 00:53:42,757
It's not possible.
914
00:53:43,407 --> 00:53:45,787
And there are some counselors
that don't want to help you.
915
00:53:46,197 --> 00:53:48,117
I mean, unfortunately,
they think they already
916
00:53:48,117 --> 00:53:49,307
Dr. William T. Choctaw: know
they look at you and say, Oh,
917
00:53:49,307 --> 00:53:50,507
no, no, no, you in this group.
918
00:53:50,677 --> 00:53:51,657
Oh, no, no, no, you're in that.
919
00:53:52,177 --> 00:53:52,737
Exactly.
920
00:53:52,757 --> 00:53:53,027
And then
921
00:53:53,027 --> 00:53:57,587
Rudy: which brings up the whole prejudice
thing, you know, that sometimes slips in.
922
00:53:57,587 --> 00:54:00,837
We're like, Oh, well, you're African
American, you should be doing this.
923
00:54:01,127 --> 00:54:03,427
I mean, Hilda Solis is a perfect example.
924
00:54:03,667 --> 00:54:07,137
When she talks to students, she says,
Yeah, I went to my counselor and the
925
00:54:07,137 --> 00:54:11,157
counselor told me I should be a secretary
and I should go to Rio Hondo for secretary
926
00:54:11,157 --> 00:54:12,927
classes and she ended up becoming.
927
00:54:13,247 --> 00:54:17,547
The Secretary of Labor for
President Obama and everybody
928
00:54:17,737 --> 00:54:20,747
laughs in the audience, I love that.
929
00:54:20,747 --> 00:54:25,617
But you know, think beyond, you know, so
yeah, I'm here for you and your audience.
930
00:54:25,867 --> 00:54:27,737
Dr. William T. Choctaw: We will
set that up, we will do that
931
00:54:28,077 --> 00:54:30,287
once a year for that reason.
932
00:54:30,507 --> 00:54:35,747
And again, thank you so much, you
know, God bless you and continue
933
00:54:35,747 --> 00:54:36,699
with the work that you do.
934
00:54:36,699 --> 00:54:37,257
Of course, likewise.
935
00:54:37,567 --> 00:54:40,177
And we'll both be in touch for february.
936
00:54:42,167 --> 00:54:42,587
Okay.
937
00:54:43,037 --> 00:54:43,347
Rudy: Thank you, sir.
938
00:54:43,427 --> 00:54:43,877
Take care.
939
00:54:43,877 --> 00:54:44,527
Take care.
940
00:54:44,527 --> 00:54:44,817
All right.
941
00:54:45,037 --> 00:54:46,087
Bye bye You too
