Exploring the Connection Between Mind, Emotions, and Effective Leadership

100:00:00,401 --> 00:00:02,044Speaker 1: Welcome to the Healthy, wealthy and Wise 200:00:02,084 --> 00:00:07,182podcast with Dr William Choctaw,MD, JD. In this episode, Dr. 300:00:07,222 --> 00:00:10,449Choctaw begins his Leadership Masterclass series by covering 400:00:10,529 --> 00:00:14,284mental health matters. Dr Choctaw will discuss mental 500:00:14,324 --> 00:00:18,233health issues and challenges andthe differences between the two600:00:18,233 --> 00:00:22,628. He will also explore multiple topics, from depression to 700:00:22,827 --> 00:00:29,347anxiety and many more. Question how can we help someone navigate800:00:29,347 --> 00:00:32,843mental health challenges or issues? What if that person is 900:00:32,923 --> 00:00:37,286ourself? Well, these and other questions will be answered and 1000:00:37,345 --> 00:00:41,253addressed in this podcast episode. So let's get started. 1100:00:41,902 --> 00:00:44,799Here's Dr William Choctaw, MD, JD. 1200:00:45,923 --> 00:00:49,664Speaker 2: Good morning. I'm Dr William T Choctaw and I will be 1300:00:49,743 --> 00:00:55,142your host today for the Leadership Masterclass. I want 1400:00:55,161 --> 00:00:59,003to welcome all of you. We have avery interesting topic, and our1500:00:59,003 --> 00:01:05,087topic is mental health issues, and we want to go over that and 1600:01:05,168 --> 00:01:08,581hopefully, at the end of this session, you will have learned 1700:01:08,620 --> 00:01:13,643some things that maybe you did not know. I believe life is 1800:01:13,703 --> 00:01:18,120about being of service. I believe knowledge is power. I 1900:01:18,161 --> 00:01:22,864believe leaders can change the world. Let me start off with an 2000:01:22,965 --> 00:01:25,459outline, and I always like to give an outline whenever I'm 2100:01:25,498 --> 00:01:28,284going to make a presentation, and I do the outline for two 2200:01:28,405 --> 00:01:31,465reasons. One reason is I want you to know what I'm going to 2300:01:31,506 --> 00:01:34,405talk about, and the second reason is I want you to know 2400:01:34,444 --> 00:01:38,625what I'm just about done. I've always learned that your time is2500:01:38,625 --> 00:01:42,221important, if not more important than my time, and so I2600:01:42,221 --> 00:01:45,481want to make sure that we're insync. We're going to start off 2700:01:45,522 --> 00:01:49,802by talking about brain anatomy, and we're going to go back to 2800:01:49,923 --> 00:01:52,840some of your biology maybe from high school, college or maybe 2900:01:52,881 --> 00:01:57,149even medical school for some of you and talk about the anatomy 3000:01:57,269 --> 00:02:02,426of the brain and all the mind. We're also going to talk about 3100:02:02,546 --> 00:02:05,781mental health disorders and mental health illnesses and try 3200:02:05,820 --> 00:02:10,956to make a distinction between the two to help us to avoid 3300:02:10,997 --> 00:02:14,527oversimplification. We're going to talk about symptoms and 3400:02:14,587 --> 00:02:20,604treatments for at least one major type of mental illness And3500:02:20,604 --> 00:02:26,236how that can be a benefit to you going forward in terms of 3600:02:26,277 --> 00:02:28,925taking care of different problems and taking care of 3700:02:29,306 --> 00:02:32,888different issues. And, finally, we'll conclude with me sharing 3800:02:32,948 --> 00:02:37,644with you some of my basic principles that, in my 50 years 3900:02:37,723 --> 00:02:45,498of medical practice and at leastseven years of work as an 4000:02:45,579 --> 00:02:50,715executive in the hospital environment, just share with you4100:02:50,715 --> 00:02:53,082some of the things that I have learned that you may find 4200:02:53,503 --> 00:02:57,867interesting and important. Well,let's take a look at the brain.4300:02:57,867 --> 00:03:01,963Let's start with the brain, andthe brain is divided into 4400:03:02,745 --> 00:03:06,721multiple layers and multiple lobes. To be exact, there are 4500:03:06,741 --> 00:03:09,228six lobes of the brain and I'll just go over them very quickly 4600:03:09,268 --> 00:03:12,887with you. There's the frontal lobe, which, as the name implies4700:03:12,887 --> 00:03:15,521, is in the front part of the head. The frontal lobe is, like 4800:03:15,542 --> 00:03:18,629the CEO of the brain, if you will, the chief executive 4900:03:18,729 --> 00:03:22,847officer, and it's involved with thinking, memory, behavior, 5000:03:22,888 --> 00:03:27,187movement. The temporal lobe is right under the frontal lobe. 5100:03:28,020 --> 00:03:31,881It's responsible for hearing, learning and feelings And we'll 5200:03:31,901 --> 00:03:36,298get to that feelings a little later. The parietal lobe is 5300:03:36,377 --> 00:03:41,325adjacent to the frontal lobe, onthe top, and it's responsible 5400:03:41,366 --> 00:03:45,198for language and touch. Next to the parietal lobe is the 5500:03:45,337 --> 00:03:49,084occipital lobe, which is the back part of the head or the 5600:03:49,104 --> 00:03:54,758brain, and it is responsible forsight. Contiguous with the 5700:03:54,897 --> 00:03:58,802occipital lobe is the cerebrum. It's responsible for balance and5800:03:58,802 --> 00:04:03,909coordination, and contiguous tothe cerebrum is the brain stem.5900:04:03,909 --> 00:04:08,179The brain stem is responsible for breathing, heart rate and 6000:04:08,218 --> 00:04:12,704temperature. The brain stem is extraordinarily important, as 6100:04:12,743 --> 00:04:16,288you might imagine, because what it does is that when we are no 6200:04:16,327 --> 00:04:19,851longer conscious, when we're sleeping, we continue to breathe6300:04:19,851 --> 00:04:23,523, our heart continues to beat and the temperature in our body 6400:04:23,642 --> 00:04:27,375is regulated. It doesn't get toohot or too cold, and all of 6500:04:27,435 --> 00:04:33,641that is because of the not a subconscious activity of our 6600:04:33,682 --> 00:04:39,488brain stem. As a position of 20 or 50 plus years, we still don't6700:04:39,488 --> 00:04:44,399understand everything about thebrain And it still remains to 6800:04:44,459 --> 00:04:51,021be a fascinating part of the body. Now, what I just went over6900:04:51,021 --> 00:04:54,005was basically the hardware of the brain. If you will Think 7000:04:54,045 --> 00:04:57,838about the brain as a computer, and I just talked about the 7100:04:57,898 --> 00:05:02,685hardware, but there's also inside the brain, or networks 7200:05:02,865 --> 00:05:07,620and neurons and connections, andthis is what we call software, 7300:05:08,081 --> 00:05:12,035and within that software is something called the mind, m, i,7400:05:12,035 --> 00:05:18,240n, d, the mind. Sigmund Freud, who is felt to be by some to be 7500:05:18,281 --> 00:05:21,504the father of psychiatry, divided the mind up into three 7600:05:22,165 --> 00:05:30,396distinct areas. One was the ID, the ego, e, g, o And the super 7700:05:30,536 --> 00:05:35,045ego. The it is that part of the mind that's only interested in 7800:05:35,084 --> 00:05:39,920the person, in the individual, the it knows what it wants and 7900:05:39,959 --> 00:05:43,247it doesn't care what it needs todo to get it. It's only about 8000:05:43,326 --> 00:05:48,380me, me, me. The ego is the rational part of the mind, the? 8100:05:48,500 --> 00:05:53,588it may say I want that ice creamin the store across the street.8200:05:53,588 --> 00:05:58,586The ego may say, yes, i do wantthat, but I don't have any 8300:05:58,646 --> 00:06:02,622money, and so I can't get that ice cream across the street 8400:06:03,182 --> 00:06:07,798unless I have some money to buy it. Then there's the third part 8500:06:07,838 --> 00:06:13,483of the mind, called the super ego, and the super ego is right 8600:06:13,543 --> 00:06:17,843and wrong. So the? it says I want that ice cream, i'm going 8700:06:17,863 --> 00:06:22,802to go take it. The ego says, well, i'm not going to go take 8800:06:22,862 --> 00:06:25,387it because I don't have any money, and if you want something8900:06:25,387 --> 00:06:27,798, you have to purchase it If youwant to get it from the store. 9000:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,697And the ego is rationalized and being reasonable, and the super 9100:06:33,798 --> 00:06:37,884ego would say I want that ice cream but I'm not going to take 9200:06:37,944 --> 00:06:41,598it because it would be wrong. Itwould be wrong for me to take 9300:06:41,637 --> 00:06:44,663that ice cream without paying for it. So those are the three 9400:06:44,745 --> 00:06:48,916parts of the mind. So think about all of that as we think 9500:06:48,956 --> 00:06:52,942about the brain and the mind allinside the skull and how that 9600:06:53,002 --> 00:06:58,348all helps us as this extraordinarily complex human 9700:06:58,408 --> 00:07:04,858computer, as we are called. Man,or man and woman, as one looks 9800:07:05,218 --> 00:07:08,843at the brain, there's an important part, important 9900:07:08,903 --> 00:07:15,930structure in the brain that has to deal with feeling, or emotion10000:07:15,930 --> 00:07:19,302. I call it the emotion center of the brain And that structure 10100:07:19,341 --> 00:07:26,019is called the amygdala. Amygdala, and you spell that a, y, a, m,10200:07:26,019 --> 00:07:37,500y, g, d a, l a, the amygdala. The amygdala is a very small um,10300:07:37,500 --> 00:07:42,326a P shaped structure that sits at the base of the brain, next 10400:07:42,348 --> 00:07:47,523to the hippocampus, but it is the emotion center of the brain.10500:07:47,523 --> 00:07:52,759It is where our feelings are, good feelings, bad feelings, in 10600:07:52,800 --> 00:07:57,307between. So the amygdala is the very, very important structure 10700:07:57,346 --> 00:08:01,959of the brain Because it affects how we feel about any particular10800:08:01,959 --> 00:08:06,086situation, in a particular person in a particular 10900:08:06,267 --> 00:08:11,800experience And indeed one of theways that that physicians are 11000:08:11,901 --> 00:08:16,005able to help individuals who maybe, say, extremely depressed, 11100:08:16,187 --> 00:08:20,497or depressed to the point of suicide, is to do things in 11200:08:20,557 --> 00:08:24,346terms of hormone manipulation that affects the amygdala 11300:08:24,485 --> 00:08:31,365directly. So let's pause a bit now and let's talk about mental 11400:08:32,107 --> 00:08:36,075issues. Or let's talk about mental conditions and let's 11500:08:36,115 --> 00:08:40,562divide mental conditions into mile on the mountain and, being 11600:08:40,682 --> 00:08:46,760a mental issue, let's say in themiddle area, a mental disorder,11700:08:46,760 --> 00:08:54,115and on the more serious area ofmental illness, all of us have 11800:08:54,216 --> 00:08:58,416mental issues, mental issues, the basic fears and anxiety. 11900:08:58,495 --> 00:09:01,422Some people may be afraid of dogs, some people may be afraid 12000:09:01,482 --> 00:09:06,317of, some people may be afraid ofwater. Most of the times, those12100:09:06,317 --> 00:09:10,551things, even though they call some discomfort with us, they do12200:09:10,551 --> 00:09:16,712not affect our functionality significantly. Our functionality12300:09:16,712 --> 00:09:20,558significantly and that's a wordI want you to become familiar 12400:09:20,599 --> 00:09:25,312with as you try to evaluate, or as one evaluates, whether a 12500:09:25,371 --> 00:09:30,711mental issue is significant or is not significant, does it 12600:09:30,772 --> 00:09:35,572affect one's functionality? example I have a fear of heights12700:09:35,572 --> 00:09:40,490. If I'm in a building, that's, and I'm on the 30th floor, i 12800:09:40,551 --> 00:09:44,120don't look out the window because it just makes me 12900:09:44,179 --> 00:09:47,794uncomfortable. Now, that's okay for me, because, number one, i'm13000:09:47,794 --> 00:09:51,140not in buildings on the 30th floor a lot And even if I am, i 13100:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,874don't have to look out the window. So it does not affect 13200:09:55,034 --> 00:10:00,153the functionality primarily in my life And I can do the things 13300:10:00,273 --> 00:10:04,201I need to do on a day by day basis and it does not concern me13400:10:04,201 --> 00:10:08,857. On the other hand, i am a physician, not only my position,13500:10:08,857 --> 00:10:12,711i'm a surgeon And let's say I had a fear of blood. Well, that 13600:10:12,750 --> 00:10:18,921would be a problem, because if I'm a surgeon and I get anxiety 13700:10:19,361 --> 00:10:23,596or fear every time I see blood, i probably would not be a very 13800:10:23,655 --> 00:10:28,313effective surgeon, right? So it gives you an idea about how you 13900:10:28,354 --> 00:10:33,421can compartmentalize or divide the different areas of mental 14000:10:33,600 --> 00:10:40,298issues into a mental issue on one hand, and say mental illness14100:10:40,298 --> 00:10:46,558on another hand. So a mental illness may be, let's say, 14200:10:47,681 --> 00:10:53,256schizophrenia. Let's say I go inand out in terms of reality, 14300:10:53,336 --> 00:10:56,863i'm not sure what the day is, i'm not sure where I am, who I 14400:10:57,062 --> 00:11:00,975am. Sometimes I'm in the real world and sometimes I'm not. 14500:11:01,034 --> 00:11:03,919Well, that's the problem, because if I have a job, i've 14600:11:03,940 --> 00:11:07,231got to be in the real world to function Again, that word 14700:11:07,292 --> 00:11:12,221functionality to take my car, towork or get on the bus or have 14800:11:12,261 --> 00:11:14,712someone take me to work. I've got to be able to do my work, 14900:11:15,254 --> 00:11:18,519i've got to be able to meet my obligations to those around me 15000:11:18,580 --> 00:11:22,695my co-workers or my family, and I've got to be able to take care15100:11:22,695 --> 00:11:27,993of myself. So functionality is what I want you to remember, to 15200:11:28,072 --> 00:11:33,339allow you to evaluate mental conditions Again, issues on one 15300:11:33,619 --> 00:11:37,562end, disorders, and then, on theother, on the other, extreme 15400:11:37,702 --> 00:11:42,591illnesses, in terms of what is needed or required. Two areas 15500:11:42,610 --> 00:11:49,182that particularly stress mental health are, for one, 15600:11:49,481 --> 00:11:53,172relationships. If you are in a relationship, let's say, 15700:11:53,211 --> 00:12:00,359girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, co-worker, a parent, child15800:12:00,359 --> 00:12:03,722all of those types of relationships that involve other15900:12:03,722 --> 00:12:08,851people who are close to you or who you need, will put a stress 16000:12:09,393 --> 00:12:15,441or a strain on your ability to cope or your ability to function16100:12:15,441 --> 00:12:20,812, if you will Again that word functionality. And many times, 16200:12:20,971 --> 00:12:25,837when things happen that may be of the mental nature, that may 16300:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,841affect our mental health, it will be something that may have 16400:12:28,881 --> 00:12:34,514been precipitated by relationship. Example a divorce.16500:12:34,514 --> 00:12:37,378Individuals have been married for a long period of time, or 16600:12:37,457 --> 00:12:41,102whatever the circumstances are, and they get a divorce. That 16700:12:41,163 --> 00:12:44,952clearly is a trauma And, depending on the individual and 16800:12:44,972 --> 00:12:49,057depending on the reason for thatcould very well send one into 16900:12:49,097 --> 00:12:53,524depression or into other types of ill health. From a mental 17000:12:53,583 --> 00:12:57,474perspective, if you lose your job, you've been working at a 17100:12:57,514 --> 00:13:00,778place for 10 years and you're a good worker and you love your 17200:13:00,798 --> 00:13:04,703work, but the company decides todownsize or to move to a 17300:13:04,744 --> 00:13:10,676different country And you lose your job, that clearly would 17400:13:10,716 --> 00:13:15,081affect your ability to cope and to feel good about yourself and 17500:13:15,123 --> 00:13:18,211may very well affect your functionality If you don't have 17600:13:18,250 --> 00:13:22,177the security of work and the feeling that that gives you to 17700:13:22,216 --> 00:13:26,102have something that's stable andallows you to do those things 17800:13:26,123 --> 00:13:30,312that make you feel good. And theother area that can many times 17900:13:30,692 --> 00:13:34,437have a strong impact on our mental health is change. And 18000:13:34,477 --> 00:13:37,241again, actually the first example is a type of change, but18100:13:37,241 --> 00:13:41,431say other types of change. Any major change Many times will 18200:13:41,471 --> 00:13:46,193affect us. Example many individuals doing the, the, the 18300:13:46,553 --> 00:13:51,837height of the COVID virus infection, significantly 18400:13:53,099 --> 00:13:57,741positions saw a spike in mental health issues or in the number 18500:13:58,162 --> 00:14:00,934of individuals with mental health issues. And that was 18600:14:00,975 --> 00:14:06,092because That was because, basically, that huge change 18700:14:07,254 --> 00:14:10,808individuals were not able to cope with. It was just too 18800:14:10,870 --> 00:14:15,687difficult, that was too much uncertainty, a lot of the things18900:14:15,687 --> 00:14:20,250that we all rely on were removed from us The ability to 19000:14:20,711 --> 00:14:26,947go out to dinner, the ability tosee loved ones, friends, the 19100:14:26,986 --> 00:14:30,394ability to go to work or to school or to send our kids to 19200:14:30,456 --> 00:14:36,616school. We had to adjust, on minor levels and on major levels19300:14:36,616 --> 00:14:41,456. These are the types of things that affect our mental ability, 19400:14:42,125 --> 00:14:45,610our mental health, if you will, because they affect our ability 19500:14:45,671 --> 00:14:50,716to function. Whenever you want to evaluate a mental condition, 19600:14:50,845 --> 00:14:56,152look at functionality Again. On the light end, or the 19700:14:56,712 --> 00:15:01,028non-serious end would be a mental issue, afraid of 19800:15:01,107 --> 00:15:05,691something that's not significant. On the more serious end would 19900:15:05,730 --> 00:15:11,432be mental illness, where it's anillness, meaning that it has 20000:15:11,513 --> 00:15:15,009affected your ability to function. Let's talk about 20100:15:15,110 --> 00:15:19,489mental illness. What is mental illness? Mental illness is 20200:15:19,548 --> 00:15:25,110basically a distress or problem in functioning in socially, 20300:15:26,706 --> 00:15:29,908work-wise or with family activities Pretty much what 20400:15:29,947 --> 00:15:34,474we've been saying. Mental illness is an illness that 20500:15:34,654 --> 00:15:39,327affects us mentally and preventsus from being able to function 20600:15:39,428 --> 00:15:45,970normally socially, with work andwith family. Mental illness is 20700:15:46,129 --> 00:15:53,076not something to be ashamed of. It is something that can be 20800:15:53,157 --> 00:15:55,932treated. It is an illness that can be treated just like a 20900:15:56,293 --> 00:16:00,374physical illness. Mental illnesscan be treated just like heart 21000:16:00,433 --> 00:16:04,793disease. Heart illness can be treated along illness or any 21100:16:04,894 --> 00:16:08,389other type of illness. One of the things that's important to 21200:16:08,408 --> 00:16:13,647keep in mind is that now we havemedication, because we 21300:16:13,726 --> 00:16:17,296understand a little more how mental illness works and why it 21400:16:17,336 --> 00:16:20,990works and where it works. Again,we talked about the brain and 21500:16:21,009 --> 00:16:24,606the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain, and we now 21600:16:24,667 --> 00:16:30,150have medications that can affectthose areas. It's important to 21700:16:30,171 --> 00:16:34,354keep that in mind. If one takes nothing more from this 21800:16:34,433 --> 00:16:40,567presentation, remember that mental illness is treatable. It 21900:16:40,647 --> 00:16:49,511is treatable. How does this all happen? What we believe affects 22000:16:50,453 --> 00:16:55,793how we think, what we think affects how we feel, and how we 22100:16:55,894 --> 00:17:01,471feel affects how we act. If you want a template to evaluate 22200:17:01,971 --> 00:17:06,368someone in terms of their mentalhealth, start with what they 22300:17:06,410 --> 00:17:10,594believe. Do they believe they'reseeing little green men on the 22400:17:10,634 --> 00:17:14,752street? Because then that's going to make them feel a 22500:17:14,792 --> 00:17:18,574certain way and it's going to make them think a certain way 22600:17:18,704 --> 00:17:22,106and it's going to make them act a certain way. Many times, you 22700:17:22,126 --> 00:17:28,238can get an idea or an insight into where that individual is 22800:17:28,258 --> 00:17:32,506coming from just by being able to discuss their beliefs, which 22900:17:32,566 --> 00:17:36,555is why it is so important in terms of all of us staying 23000:17:36,634 --> 00:17:40,973healthy mentally by many times reexamining our own beliefs, 23100:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,953maybe when you were growing up and you had a bad experience in 23200:17:44,993 --> 00:17:49,714a certain neighborhood or in elementary school or junior high23300:17:49,714 --> 00:17:53,351school that affected your belief about certain people or 23400:17:53,412 --> 00:17:57,469certain circumstances or certainsituations. Maybe those beliefs23500:17:57,469 --> 00:18:01,310are not true, but maybe you carried those beliefs all the 23600:18:01,352 --> 00:18:06,348way to your 40s and 50s and now you're in a relationship, either23700:18:06,348 --> 00:18:13,486by people you work with or by individuals in your family, and 23800:18:13,506 --> 00:18:17,615you find those old beliefs are now creeping into your ability 23900:18:17,674 --> 00:18:21,965to maintain good relationships with those individuals. So it's 24000:18:22,006 --> 00:18:26,336very important that we make surethat our beliefs all of us stay24100:18:26,336 --> 00:18:29,851healthy. So one of the ways to make sure that we stay healthy 24200:18:29,891 --> 00:18:34,429mentally is to constantly you know we talk about physically 24300:18:34,469 --> 00:18:37,946how it's important to exercise and eat well. I'm going to 24400:18:37,987 --> 00:18:42,170submit that for mental health, it's important for us to review 24500:18:42,269 --> 00:18:46,349our beliefs on a regular basis. I call it having a conversation 24600:18:46,390 --> 00:18:49,650with the person in the mirror and I can tell you where they 24700:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,287will show up, where the issues will show up Whenever you start 24800:18:52,327 --> 00:18:55,965getting upset or angry about something or feeling bad. Start 24900:18:56,027 --> 00:18:59,627examining that. Why is it? this bothers you, what is it that 25000:18:59,667 --> 00:19:03,090makes you so upset? And you'll be surprised that as you start 25100:19:03,131 --> 00:19:08,231peeling back that onion, you mayfind those beliefs that you can25200:19:08,231 --> 00:19:13,127see are no longer tenable. There was something that you 25300:19:13,169 --> 00:19:16,525thought a long time ago that nowyou know better, but yet that's25400:19:16,525 --> 00:19:19,911still been driving you subconsciously without you being25500:19:19,911 --> 00:19:23,457aware of it. So just something to keep in mind. Well, how 25600:19:23,497 --> 00:19:27,880common is mental illness? Mentalillness is common. About 19 25700:19:27,900 --> 00:19:33,640percent of people adults in the United States can have it. It is25800:19:33,640 --> 00:19:38,229, can be and serious mental illness can be about 4 percent 25900:19:38,855 --> 00:19:43,625serious in terms of requiring hospitalization or more serious 26000:19:43,685 --> 00:19:49,296types of treatment. One can certainly in some respects place26100:19:49,296 --> 00:19:55,567substance abuse as a strong contributing factor with some 26200:19:55,606 --> 00:19:59,000degrees of mental illness, depending on how severe that 26300:19:59,060 --> 00:20:04,565addiction is. I include in that alcohol or severe alcohol abuse.26400:20:04,565 --> 00:20:08,944These are some of the corollaries that go along with 26500:20:08,984 --> 00:20:12,262that, because a lot of times what we do is when we do get 26600:20:12,282 --> 00:20:15,298depressed and when we do get down and when things do happen 26700:20:17,565 --> 00:20:24,045in our lives, we then try to comfort ourselves by doing 26800:20:24,105 --> 00:20:28,259things that make bad situations worse. So we have to be aware of26900:20:28,259 --> 00:20:32,738that. When I'm talking about mental illnesses, i'm primarily 27000:20:32,759 --> 00:20:36,703talking about adults. Children also can have mental illness, 27100:20:37,115 --> 00:20:40,076but they're completely differentfrom adults. What I mean by 27200:20:40,116 --> 00:20:44,479that is children are not little adults that we can't take what 27300:20:44,519 --> 00:20:48,288happened with maybe a member of the family who was an adult and 27400:20:48,307 --> 00:20:52,619say, well, xyz, work for so-and-so, so, my 15-year-old, 27500:20:52,660 --> 00:20:55,938i'm going to do the same thing with her, or make or suggest the27600:20:55,938 --> 00:20:59,181same thing with her. That does not work. Children are not small27700:20:59,181 --> 00:21:04,645adults. Children are unique andthey have to be addressed in a 27800:21:04,806 --> 00:21:08,603unique manner in terms of being able to understand what their 27900:21:08,663 --> 00:21:11,980needs are. That's why they're pediatricians or physicians or 28000:21:12,000 --> 00:21:19,737child psychologists who built specifically for children. It's 28100:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,821important to keep that in mind. Another thing to keep in mind 28200:21:24,957 --> 00:21:28,619and some of you may remember this is men really are from Mars28300:21:28,619 --> 00:21:33,520and women really are from Venus. My point about this is that we28400:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,638, men and women, are different. We are completely different, 28500:21:38,621 --> 00:21:44,021that we have different chromosomes. Men have more 28600:21:44,082 --> 00:21:47,239testosterone, women have more estrogen, on and on, and on and 28700:21:47,338 --> 00:21:52,986on and on. What's important is that there's nothing wrong with 28800:21:53,026 --> 00:21:56,958being different. That's okay. That's okay. So it's not 28900:21:57,018 --> 00:22:01,397important for us to assume well,if I like X, my wife should 29000:22:01,417 --> 00:22:05,175like X, or if I like Y, my husband should like Y. We are 29100:22:05,236 --> 00:22:09,825different and we should understand that difference and 29200:22:09,904 --> 00:22:15,244embrace that difference. So whenit comes to how one deals with 29300:22:15,265 --> 00:22:18,878the situation, how one deals with trauma, it is not going to 29400:22:18,919 --> 00:22:23,878be the same. One side may cry a lot, the other side may say 29500:22:24,019 --> 00:22:27,695absolutely nothing. Many times as a physician, i've seen 29600:22:27,797 --> 00:22:31,026individuals who come to my office because they feel like 29700:22:31,066 --> 00:22:34,678that they're supposed to react acertain way When they get a 29800:22:34,738 --> 00:22:38,637certain diagnosis or this or that. What I communicate to them29900:22:38,637 --> 00:22:43,675is you are uniquely you and youdo what works for you. Whatever30000:22:43,675 --> 00:22:49,403your reaction is, it's okay foryou. In many times when we try 30100:22:49,442 --> 00:22:53,202to help others, we don't becausewe're trying to force them to 30200:22:53,403 --> 00:22:56,539act a certain way, because that's way someone who we knew 30300:22:56,579 --> 00:23:01,680before acted, or maybe the way we acted, but have those 30400:23:01,759 --> 00:23:04,046individuals talk to someone who's a professional 30500:23:04,086 --> 00:23:09,086psychologist, psychologist, therapist to guide them if they 30600:23:09,165 --> 00:23:12,458need that, as compared to tryingto force them to do something a30700:23:12,458 --> 00:23:16,726certain way. It is important tobe aware that certainly suicide30800:23:16,726 --> 00:23:23,326is a serious problem in this country And it has probably been30900:23:23,326 --> 00:23:28,128increasing, and many believe that certainly COVID was a part 31000:23:28,148 --> 00:23:32,407of that process, but it may wellhave been increasing in spite 31100:23:32,448 --> 00:23:37,442of COVID, particularly with increased drug use etc. Etc. So 31200:23:37,501 --> 00:23:40,800be aware of that If you come into a situation and certain of 31300:23:40,840 --> 00:23:46,306you live in LA County, there aresuicide hotlines that are free 31400:23:46,887 --> 00:23:52,323and confidential. In English, it's 1-800-273-8255. In English 31500:23:52,423 --> 00:23:57,625it's 1-800-273-8255. In Spanish,in LA County, it's 31600:23:57,846 --> 00:24:09,3431-888-628-9454. Spanish 1-888-628-9454. If you know 31700:24:09,442 --> 00:24:12,423someone or believe someone is introuble, do not hesitate to 31800:24:12,522 --> 00:24:17,784intervene and try to get them some help, because you may very 31900:24:17,804 --> 00:24:21,260well be able to save a life. Well, let me conclude. If you 32000:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,104remember what I said on my outline, when I get to my basic 32100:24:24,144 --> 00:24:27,996principles, i'm just about done.My first principle is God is in32200:24:27,996 --> 00:24:31,990charge. I believe that God has been extremely important in my 32300:24:32,049 --> 00:24:36,608life in terms of leading me and guiding me and directing me in 32400:24:36,648 --> 00:24:41,388the right path, and I certainly recommend that to you if that's 32500:24:41,429 --> 00:24:46,521your choice, but that has clearly been helpful for me. I 32600:24:46,561 --> 00:24:49,329decided many, many years ago that I would have no more bad 32700:24:49,390 --> 00:24:53,382days, and so I don't have bad days in my life. I have good 32800:24:53,422 --> 00:24:57,778days and I have great days. If it rains outside, some people 32900:24:57,798 --> 00:25:00,453say, oh, it's a terrible day, i'm going to get cold, i'm going33000:25:00,453 --> 00:25:04,680to get sick. And others would say, oh, what a beautiful day. 33100:25:04,861 --> 00:25:08,482It's going to clean all the leaves and the trees And it's 33200:25:08,522 --> 00:25:12,042going to make everything so bright and crisp. And so what 33300:25:12,103 --> 00:25:17,580I've learned is how my day is iscompletely up to me, 100%. And 33400:25:17,621 --> 00:25:21,192so I said if I have 100% controlof this, then I don't want any 33500:25:21,232 --> 00:25:24,020more bad days, because I've had enough of them in my life. I 33600:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,807recommend that philosophy to you. Thirdly, i don't sweat the 33700:25:27,868 --> 00:25:32,211small stuff, and most stuff is small. I have learned that many 33800:25:32,251 --> 00:25:35,085times when I get upset or I'm about to get upset, that 33900:25:35,125 --> 00:25:38,279whatever I'm upset about is probably not that big a deal. 34000:25:39,682 --> 00:25:43,939And I have learned to measure myself, take a deep breath, take34100:25:43,939 --> 00:25:47,650a step back, think about it, because most of the times it's 34200:25:47,730 --> 00:25:53,265not worth it. Stress management one of the ways, one of the 34300:25:53,305 --> 00:25:56,057things that stresses us is trying to do everything for 34400:25:56,157 --> 00:26:02,007everybody else. It's okay to take care of yourself mentally I34500:26:02,007 --> 00:26:04,597mean, i'm talking about stress now that can lead sometimes to 34600:26:04,637 --> 00:26:09,090mental issues which could lead to mental disorders, which could34700:26:09,090 --> 00:26:13,632lead to mental illnesses in some people. And finally, my 34800:26:13,692 --> 00:26:15,140final basic principle is everything is a relationship, 34900:26:16,987 --> 00:26:20,019whether it's husband, wife, son,daughter, parent, child, 35000:26:22,131 --> 00:26:26,048working relationships, friendships, etc. Etc. And 35100:26:26,087 --> 00:26:28,897relationships are based on threethings mutual respect, mutual 35200:26:28,917 --> 00:26:32,916trust, good communication. If you have those things, your 35300:26:33,017 --> 00:26:38,196relationship will thrive. It is important to our mental health 35400:26:38,217 --> 00:26:40,609that we have good relationships.Finally, let me leave you with 35500:26:40,651 --> 00:26:46,076this thought The only impossiblejourney is the one you never 35600:26:46,096 --> 00:26:50,796believe that you never begin. The only impossible journey is 35700:26:50,856 --> 00:26:53,229the one you never begin. Be the change you want to see in the 35800:26:53,269 --> 00:26:59,323world. Have a great day. 35900:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,625Speaker 1: Take the next step ofaction and share it with your 36000:27:27,685 --> 00:27:31,057family, friends and or your co-workers. They'll be glad you 36100:27:31,096 --> 00:27:35,598did So. until the next time, live your best possible life the36200:27:35,598 --> 00:27:36,603best possible way.