Holiday Harmony: Mastering the Art of Family Gatherings

100:00:01,180 --> 00:00:03,790Welcome to the Healthy, Wealthy,and Wise podcast with Dr.200:00:03,790 --> 00:00:04,410William T.300:00:04,410 --> 00:00:09,470Choctaw, MD, JD, where the doctorhelps you unlock your full potential by400:00:09,480 --> 00:00:14,320equipping you with tools and knowledge inthe areas of health, wealth, and wisdom.500:00:14,620 --> 00:00:18,499Anchored in his experience as abusiness executive, a physician600:00:18,529 --> 00:00:23,410surveyor for the joint commission,a former mayor, and over 50 years700:00:23,410 --> 00:00:25,279of experience as a general surgeon.800:00:25,780 --> 00:00:27,960You've got questions, he's got answers.900:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,279So let's get started.1000:00:29,880 --> 00:00:30,490Here's Dr.1100:00:30,490 --> 00:00:31,020William T.1200:00:34,510 --> 00:00:35,240Good morning.1300:00:37,150 --> 00:00:40,110Welcome to the leadership masterclass.1400:00:40,650 --> 00:00:43,890Um today we have a very interesting topic.1500:00:44,559 --> 00:00:45,720Uh what?1600:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,089What we're going to talk about today andone of my favorite subjects is holiday1700:00:50,089 --> 00:00:56,220stress, and so we're going to providea little holiday therapy for you and1800:00:56,220 --> 00:00:59,900for all our listeners out there today.1900:00:59,940 --> 00:01:00,530Next, please.2000:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,969I believe life is aboutbeing of service to others.2100:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,230I believe knowledge is power.2200:01:06,450 --> 00:01:10,270I believe leaders can change theworld and you notice that I have my2300:01:10,270 --> 00:01:14,710beliefs and I say it every singletime I give any presentation.2400:01:14,990 --> 00:01:16,010Why do I do that?2500:01:16,379 --> 00:01:19,330I do that because itlets you know the why.2600:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,210Behind what we're talking about.2700:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,750Um, and what are the beliefsbehind what we're talking about?2800:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,630We're talking about service to others.2900:01:28,060 --> 00:01:32,060Um, we're talking about knowledgeand growing with that knowledge.3000:01:32,310 --> 00:01:36,750Um, and then we're talking about takingthat knowledge and changing the world.3100:01:37,390 --> 00:01:40,140We can all agree that we don'tnecessarily like the way things3200:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,310are going on in the world.3300:01:41,500 --> 00:01:42,650So what are we going to do about it?3400:01:42,900 --> 00:01:43,840What are we going to do about it?3500:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,460We can change it and we can changeit by acquiring more knowledge.3600:01:48,130 --> 00:01:48,820Next, please.3700:01:49,179 --> 00:01:52,989Now, I always like to put up anoutline and the purpose of the3800:01:52,990 --> 00:01:55,810outline is sort of let you knowwhat we're going to talk about.3900:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,210Um, and to let you know what orderwe're going to talk about it.4000:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,929And as importantly to let youknow, when we're just about done.4100:02:04,160 --> 00:02:09,550So when we get down to mental exercises,then, you know, we're just about done.4200:02:09,979 --> 00:02:11,920I am one of those time people.4300:02:13,180 --> 00:02:14,339And let me explain.4400:02:14,549 --> 00:02:15,549I'm one of those people.4500:02:15,549 --> 00:02:19,239If you tell me to be somewhereat 10, I'll get there at 9304600:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,299because I don't want to be late.4700:02:20,775 --> 00:02:22,195So I'm always early.4800:02:22,465 --> 00:02:24,115Uh, I hate being late.4900:02:24,415 --> 00:02:30,095Uh, so I, I have this thing about alwaysrespecting other people's time that you're5000:02:30,095 --> 00:02:32,415just as busy if not busier than I am.5100:02:32,675 --> 00:02:35,175So I always want to let you knowwhat we're going to talk about.5200:02:35,614 --> 00:02:42,375Um, so we're going to talk about,um, how we think about, um, um,5300:02:42,955 --> 00:02:47,245the holidays and we're going totalk about rules around gatherings5400:02:47,245 --> 00:02:50,065with the family rules about guests.5500:02:50,410 --> 00:02:53,110And then we'll end up withsome mental exercises.5600:02:53,300 --> 00:02:53,960Next, please.5700:02:54,905 --> 00:02:58,715This presentation is partof the masterclass series.5800:02:59,105 --> 00:03:04,414Um, and let me sort of, um, takeyou back to how this started.5900:03:04,414 --> 00:03:07,565Because today, this monthis a very special month.6000:03:07,605 --> 00:03:09,565This is our one year anniversary.6100:03:10,034 --> 00:03:11,034And quite honestly,6200:03:14,835 --> 00:03:15,885The way this started.6300:03:15,935 --> 00:03:16,644True story.6400:03:16,954 --> 00:03:19,285I'm a member of the men's class.6500:03:19,285 --> 00:03:22,855I under the tutelage of RobinCollins and Robin Nickens.6600:03:23,225 --> 00:03:26,055And one day after class, Iapproached Robin Collins.6700:03:26,064 --> 00:03:28,174This is doing the covert thing time.6800:03:28,495 --> 00:03:32,685Uh, and we were in in Simpson Hall,different parts of the auditorium.6900:03:33,035 --> 00:03:36,545And I said, Robin Collins, I have anidea about setting up a master class,7000:03:36,545 --> 00:03:37,645blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.7100:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,515And he said, that's a great idea.7200:03:39,785 --> 00:03:40,505That's a great idea.7300:03:40,515 --> 00:03:42,615He didn't even ask me about details.7400:03:42,905 --> 00:03:45,345Um, and my point is, I share that story.7500:03:45,355 --> 00:03:48,425If he had said no, that wouldhave been no masterclass.7600:03:48,765 --> 00:03:50,725This whole year would not have occurred.7700:03:51,195 --> 00:03:53,204But he immediately embraced it.7800:03:53,384 --> 00:03:58,174I also presented it to ReverendNickens, um, uh, one, one, one Saturday.7900:03:58,174 --> 00:04:00,524There was an affair here at thechurch and we were talking about it.8000:04:00,765 --> 00:04:02,825And he said to say, oh,so that's a great idea.8100:04:02,834 --> 00:04:03,685It's a great idea.8200:04:04,024 --> 00:04:05,244I mentioned it to.8300:04:05,505 --> 00:04:07,475Uh, Robin Reeves is also great.8400:04:07,475 --> 00:04:08,285I just great idea.8500:04:08,285 --> 00:04:16,205So my point is, because of the supportof many of our leaders here at church,8600:04:16,785 --> 00:04:21,734we have all been able to experience this12 months of leadership masterclass.8700:04:21,734 --> 00:04:23,165And so I'm very grateful for that.8800:04:23,584 --> 00:04:24,465Next slide, please.8900:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,685So much of the.9000:04:27,135 --> 00:04:30,975Uh, masterclass, all of themasterclass is based on my years of9100:04:30,975 --> 00:04:37,355lessons learned more specifically,uh, my 50 years of medical practice.9200:04:37,635 --> 00:04:41,745And these are things my patients havetaught me that my patients have taught me.9300:04:41,965 --> 00:04:42,325Yes.9400:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,745I went to school, good school,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.9500:04:45,475 --> 00:04:48,165But what I learned was schoolcan only teach you so much.9600:04:48,794 --> 00:04:50,085Could only teach you so much.9700:04:50,485 --> 00:04:57,785My patients have taught me 50 yearsworth of, of advice and important issues.9800:04:57,974 --> 00:05:01,064And these are some of the things thatI'm going to share with you today.9900:05:01,445 --> 00:05:02,085Next slide, please.10000:05:02,965 --> 00:05:08,234So, personal note, this is myfavorite holiday of the year10100:05:09,075 --> 00:05:15,825because Christmas, because Christmasis my birthday, my birthday.10200:05:16,479 --> 00:05:22,695And it being when I was born, uh, a numberof years ago, my mother told me I was10300:05:22,695 --> 00:05:25,545special and my mother never lies to me.10400:05:26,100 --> 00:05:32,120And so . So when she told me I was,I believed her, I said, yes ma'am.10500:05:32,340 --> 00:05:32,840Yes ma'am.10600:05:32,860 --> 00:05:33,400Yes ma'am.10700:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,875I think people say, you know, broughton Christmas, you know, did you get like10800:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,585one gift and that was for Christmas?10900:05:39,825 --> 00:05:40,880No, I got two gifts.11000:05:41,595 --> 00:05:42,415I got two gifts.11100:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,095So I was not cheated on Christmas.11200:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,125I was rewarded on Christmas.11300:05:46,665 --> 00:05:52,645So, so my, my point very quickly isthis is my favorite holiday, right?11400:05:52,835 --> 00:05:57,934This is my favorite holiday next week,in addition to being my birthday.11500:05:59,340 --> 00:06:04,190So let, let me go back, take you back toone of the other presentations that we've11600:06:04,190 --> 00:06:10,630made and let me say that the masterclassis a combination of lecture on second11700:06:10,630 --> 00:06:13,350Saturday in each month and podcasts.11800:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,920So the masterclass occurs once amonth, the podcasts occur once a week.11900:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,590So the two are together, butwe'll talk about that later.12000:06:21,289 --> 00:06:24,620But one of the things that wetalked about some months ago, when12100:06:24,620 --> 00:06:25,989we talked about mental health.12200:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,890is that it is our beliefsthat affect how we feel.12300:06:32,489 --> 00:06:33,260Think about that.12400:06:33,650 --> 00:06:40,799If I believe people who wear blackshoes are bad people every time I12500:06:40,799 --> 00:06:44,649see somebody with black shoes, I'mgoing to say, Oh, that's a bad person.12600:06:44,960 --> 00:06:45,849That's a bad person.12700:06:45,859 --> 00:06:46,579That's a bad person.12800:06:46,599 --> 00:06:47,650That's not true.12900:06:47,859 --> 00:06:48,999That's just my belief.13000:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,140What's my point?13100:06:50,430 --> 00:06:54,950My, my, my point is it if you're goingthrough life and you're not happy,13200:06:55,320 --> 00:07:00,840or if you're always uncomfortable, ifyou're always suspicious, if, if, if13300:07:00,840 --> 00:07:05,979you always think the worst of what'sgoing on, go back and evaluate what13400:07:05,980 --> 00:07:10,450your beliefs are and ask yourself,well, why did those beliefs come from?13500:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,950Did something happento me when I was a kid?13600:07:13,340 --> 00:07:14,700Did somebody tell me?13700:07:15,530 --> 00:07:17,290And reevaluate those beliefs.13800:07:17,290 --> 00:07:21,020And many times what you will findout is those beliefs are not true.13900:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,040Here's my point.14000:07:22,270 --> 00:07:25,190You can change thembecause they belong to you.14100:07:25,409 --> 00:07:25,819Right?14200:07:26,070 --> 00:07:29,790So my point is our beliefsaffect how we think.14300:07:30,119 --> 00:07:32,460Think about people who arewalking down the street.14400:07:32,750 --> 00:07:36,770They see somebody across the street orsomebody is coming toward them, say,14500:07:36,800 --> 00:07:42,375maybe of a different race, And theysort of move over to the side because14600:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,945they're a little uncomfortable andthey don't know whether this person14700:07:44,945 --> 00:07:46,775is going to rob them or whatever.14800:07:46,995 --> 00:07:49,195Our beliefs affect how we think.14900:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,685Doesn't mean that the beliefs areright, it's just they're our beliefs.15000:07:53,125 --> 00:07:55,915How we think affects how we feel.15100:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,924Have you ever talked to people?15200:07:58,155 --> 00:07:59,155who were never happy.15300:07:59,165 --> 00:08:00,485You said, well, how are you doing?15400:08:00,675 --> 00:08:01,505So, oh, it's terrible.15500:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,895Then they tell you all the badthings about why it's terrible.15600:08:04,275 --> 00:08:09,105Uh, and it doesn't matter because theywill always think that things are bad.15700:08:09,764 --> 00:08:15,034So, my point very simply is, if you're oneof those people who's always miserable,15800:08:15,765 --> 00:08:20,575nothing is never good, there's always aproblem, go back to your belief system.15900:08:20,784 --> 00:08:23,494Go back to your belief systemand ask yourself, well,16000:08:23,515 --> 00:08:25,015why, why do I feel this way?16100:08:25,044 --> 00:08:27,384You know, why am I not happy?16200:08:27,384 --> 00:08:30,730Like, You know, John or somebody else.16300:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,180Why am I always miserable?16400:08:32,550 --> 00:08:35,510Many times that is within your control.16500:08:35,690 --> 00:08:38,110It is not that peopleare doing things to you.16600:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,780Nobody is doing anything to you.16700:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,550It is what you perceive.16800:08:42,145 --> 00:08:42,605Okay.16900:08:42,975 --> 00:08:46,325Matter of fact, I would argue itdoesn't matter what people do to you.17000:08:46,445 --> 00:08:47,915It's what you perceive.17100:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,545And we'll talk about that later.17200:08:49,545 --> 00:08:53,595So to summarize, what I'm tryingto say is our beliefs affect how we17300:08:53,624 --> 00:08:59,704think, how we think affect how wefeel, how we feel affect how we act.17400:09:00,555 --> 00:09:02,585Have you ever seen peoplewho are always acting up?17500:09:04,750 --> 00:09:10,280That's a reason for that because theyfeel a certain way they either feel17600:09:10,319 --> 00:09:12,409paranoid or they feel uncomfortable.17700:09:12,420 --> 00:09:15,020They feel upset or whatever,whatever, whatever.17800:09:15,020 --> 00:09:19,369I can go on and on and on, but it'sbased on certain thoughts, right?17900:09:19,519 --> 00:09:24,560And those thoughts are based on certainbeliefs and those beliefs may not be true.18000:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,410My point very simplyis you can change that.18100:09:28,850 --> 00:09:29,560Give an example.18200:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,180I have a fear of heights.18300:09:32,020 --> 00:09:36,329I am not one of those people you want totake to the Grand Canyon or where I know.18400:09:36,349 --> 00:09:37,810No, I'm not one of those people.18500:09:38,079 --> 00:09:40,390Now, I might add my wife is very opposite.18600:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,150My wife will go up to theGrand Canyon and even jump off.18700:09:44,379 --> 00:09:47,609I mean, she's braver than Iam, but I am afraid of heights.18800:09:47,839 --> 00:09:51,719So if you want me to go, I'll giveyou, I'll give you a classic example.18900:09:51,719 --> 00:09:55,099I've used this example before, youknow, downtown Los Angeles has a19000:09:55,109 --> 00:09:56,459building called the Bonaventure.19100:09:56,609 --> 00:09:56,879Okay.19200:09:57,270 --> 00:09:59,569You go down to the Bonaventureand when you get into the19300:09:59,579 --> 00:10:01,380elevator, it's a glass elevator.19400:10:01,995 --> 00:10:03,925Bonaventure is very tall, right?19500:10:04,235 --> 00:10:08,285So when I get to the Bonaventure,I do not look out the window.19600:10:08,505 --> 00:10:09,185Does that make sense?19700:10:09,545 --> 00:10:11,595You know, I, I turn my back to the window.19800:10:11,614 --> 00:10:12,675I look at the door.19900:10:13,595 --> 00:10:18,545My best friend, who loves to give me ahard time, would say, Oh, look at that.20000:10:18,555 --> 00:10:18,825Look at that.20100:10:21,395 --> 00:10:22,095Look at that.20200:10:22,135 --> 00:10:23,135Oh, you just missed it.20300:10:23,155 --> 00:10:24,045You just missed it.20400:10:24,795 --> 00:10:26,345So my point is.20500:10:26,820 --> 00:10:30,910Now, there's nothing bad that's going tohappen to me by being in the Bonaventure.20600:10:31,110 --> 00:10:32,270That's just how I think.20700:10:32,780 --> 00:10:36,629Now, I don't know when I first becameafraid of heights or whatever, but20800:10:36,630 --> 00:10:38,469my point is, I can change that.20900:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,240I can change that.21000:10:40,700 --> 00:10:44,239And many times, individuals who are afraidof flying, who are afraid of heights, or21100:10:44,239 --> 00:10:48,300whatever, whatever, we call them neuroses,not psychosis, that's a different21200:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,530issue, but they're relatively mild.21300:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,900Usually, a psychologist orpsychiatrist can work with them.21400:10:54,210 --> 00:10:59,280And change a lot of those fears oranxieties, we call them, but my point21500:10:59,310 --> 00:11:03,679is it really is all in your headwhen people say, Oh, that's just it.21600:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,439Yeah, it is all in your head.21700:11:05,749 --> 00:11:06,239Okay.21800:11:06,509 --> 00:11:08,170My point is you can change it.21900:11:08,429 --> 00:11:09,420You can change it.22000:11:09,689 --> 00:11:13,099And that's the point I want toget want to get across that.22100:11:13,109 --> 00:11:16,149In effect, I am in control of me.22200:11:16,369 --> 00:11:18,469I am in control of my happiness.22300:11:18,999 --> 00:11:20,760I am in control how I feel.22400:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,910I can't blame that on somebody else,but why don't you make me happy?22500:11:24,189 --> 00:11:26,140No, I have to make myself happy.22600:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,619You can't make me happy.22700:11:27,859 --> 00:11:32,479If I don't want to be happy becausemy mind will always be in control.22800:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,429So my point is we arein control of ourselves.22900:11:35,620 --> 00:11:39,499And if we don't like what'sgoing on with us, change it.23000:11:40,375 --> 00:11:41,035Change it.23100:11:41,455 --> 00:11:43,015Nobody else can but you.23200:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,055Okay, next slide, please.23300:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,135So, a little anatomy here.23400:11:47,344 --> 00:11:48,814Uh, this is a picture of the brain.23500:11:48,814 --> 00:11:50,604These are the differentparts of the brain.23600:11:50,854 --> 00:11:54,024I want you to concentrate on the redarea, what we call the prefrontal23700:11:54,064 --> 00:11:55,604cortex, or the frontal lobe.23800:11:56,275 --> 00:12:00,584I, I, I, analogize this to, uh,if you're flying in an airplane,23900:12:00,584 --> 00:12:02,175this is where the pilots would sit.24000:12:02,545 --> 00:12:05,555Remember, they sit in thefront of the airplane, up high.24100:12:05,865 --> 00:12:08,275Uh, I call the prefrontal area.24200:12:08,714 --> 00:12:10,844This is where our memory is.24300:12:10,844 --> 00:12:13,155This is where our thoughts are.24400:12:13,445 --> 00:12:18,425This is where our beliefs are, and thisis what we control as human beings.24500:12:18,755 --> 00:12:20,045This is what we control.24600:12:20,435 --> 00:12:25,444So your, you control your brain, yourcontrol, your brain controls, how24700:12:25,444 --> 00:12:30,094you think, what you believe, how youfeel, and ultimately how you act.24800:12:30,484 --> 00:12:30,755Okay?24900:12:31,705 --> 00:12:35,975I used to say many times when Iwas growing up, uh, or particularly25000:12:35,975 --> 00:12:39,185in college, educate me andyou can change my behavior.25100:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,870If you don't like the way I'm acting,educate me, educate me, put a book in25200:12:43,870 --> 00:12:49,669my hand, send, send, send me to a classor, or a treat or sit down and teach25300:12:49,669 --> 00:12:54,070me, you know, read beside me, educateme and you can change my behavior.25400:12:54,510 --> 00:12:55,669But my point is.25500:12:56,065 --> 00:13:01,165We're in control of this prefrontal lobe,prefrontal contacts in the frontal lobe.25600:13:01,565 --> 00:13:03,065This is where our memory is.25700:13:03,065 --> 00:13:04,625This is where our thoughts are.25800:13:05,025 --> 00:13:07,225Um, and so we control those thoughts.25900:13:07,225 --> 00:13:08,045Next slide, please.26000:13:08,535 --> 00:13:11,785The bottom line, particularlyabout the holiday season.26100:13:12,245 --> 00:13:13,535Uh, it's to stay positive.26200:13:14,005 --> 00:13:15,455Why do I say stay positive?26300:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,615I mentioned earlier that mybirthday was on Christmas and26400:13:18,625 --> 00:13:20,135this is my favorite holiday.26500:13:20,405 --> 00:13:23,425And I love the Christmas season,Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever.26600:13:23,984 --> 00:13:26,535But what I learned from mypatients, a lot of people hate it.26700:13:26,545 --> 00:13:28,104A lot of people do not love it.26800:13:28,615 --> 00:13:28,884Do it.26900:13:28,885 --> 00:13:30,195It stresses them out.27000:13:30,515 --> 00:13:33,965Um, something bad happenedmaybe five or 10 years ago.27100:13:33,965 --> 00:13:34,965They remember it.27200:13:35,474 --> 00:13:39,365And every time that season comesback around out, those feelings27300:13:39,365 --> 00:13:41,314of concern come back up again.27400:13:41,915 --> 00:13:46,645So, so my, my point is, enjoythe holidays, but be respectful.27500:13:47,235 --> 00:13:50,425And and appreciate the factthat everybody may not feel the27600:13:50,425 --> 00:13:50,615way27700:13:50,615 --> 00:13:53,005Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD:you feel and that that's okay.27800:13:53,555 --> 00:13:54,155That's okay.27900:13:54,155 --> 00:13:55,735People can feel however they want to feel.28000:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,465Whatever works for them is is okay.28100:13:58,805 --> 00:14:03,275But because we are our brother'skeeper, we are our sister's keeper.28200:14:03,665 --> 00:14:05,005We want to stay positive.28300:14:05,015 --> 00:14:10,555We want to make sure that we're notthe reason for people to have a bad28400:14:10,555 --> 00:14:15,325time or the bad experience that we wantto be that that that shine and light.28500:14:15,710 --> 00:14:18,660Uh, that that that helpsto make people feel better.28600:14:18,860 --> 00:14:19,660Next slide, please.28700:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,010So some some basic and I'll call them Dr.28800:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,010Choctaw rules.28900:14:25,290 --> 00:14:28,810When you get together with friendsand family or coworkers or whoever,29000:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,260avoid political disagreements.29100:14:31,950 --> 00:14:37,010Okay, if you want to have a nicetime and not get into arguments29200:14:37,010 --> 00:14:40,309and people fussing and fighting,try to stay away from politics.29300:14:40,309 --> 00:14:41,510Now, this is not new.29400:14:42,019 --> 00:14:47,420We've all been told, you know, avoiddiscussions about politics and religion,29500:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,680you know, so you don't get into fightsand everybody's happy, whatever, but29600:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,140particularly during the holidays.29700:14:52,490 --> 00:14:55,370And partly because there'sa lot going on in the world.29800:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,810There's a lot going on in the world.29900:14:58,220 --> 00:15:01,290If you do have those discussions,again, be respectful.30000:15:01,670 --> 00:15:03,390Doesn't mean everybodyhave to agree with you.30100:15:03,719 --> 00:15:08,629Um, I would even go back to the, tothe men's class and, and, uh, God bless30200:15:08,629 --> 00:15:12,840Robin Collins, but sometimes we get intodiscussions in the men's class and he has30300:15:12,850 --> 00:15:15,385to sort of stand up and Calm the waters.30400:15:15,385 --> 00:15:20,735And then we all, we all sort ofsit down and then we're okay.30500:15:23,905 --> 00:15:25,044And he knows what I'm talking about.30600:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,185I'm not going into detail.30700:15:27,415 --> 00:15:32,795But my point is during the holidayswhere you want to have a nice time and30800:15:32,795 --> 00:15:34,714you want to, you want it to be positive.30900:15:35,155 --> 00:15:36,155You be the leader.31000:15:36,334 --> 00:15:37,814Don't expect anybody else to do it.31100:15:37,824 --> 00:15:38,334You do it.31200:15:38,625 --> 00:15:39,125You do it.31300:15:39,385 --> 00:15:42,195Uh, you, you, you be the leadand leaders go out front.31400:15:42,629 --> 00:15:43,079Okay.31500:15:43,139 --> 00:15:44,649That's the difference betweenleaders and followers.31600:15:44,650 --> 00:15:45,550Followers follow.31700:15:45,569 --> 00:15:46,639Leaders go out front.31800:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,030Leaders go out front.31900:15:48,310 --> 00:15:51,110And so be, be, be the leaderwith that and go out front.32000:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,160Next slide, please.32100:15:52,719 --> 00:16:00,420So, let me go over one, one, one of myfavorite issues about, um, um, Christmas.32200:16:01,299 --> 00:16:04,609The financial stress of gift giving.32300:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,650Now, if you.32400:16:07,120 --> 00:16:13,550I'm born with a silver spoon in yourmouth, and you have always had, um, uh,32500:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,620well, there's not a problem for you.32600:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,880So you, you can just closeyour ears at this point,32700:16:18,070 --> 00:16:19,330because I'm not talking to you.32800:16:19,850 --> 00:16:20,369All right.32900:16:20,670 --> 00:16:25,689But if you're like most of us, and, andyou do have to decide the left hand or the33000:16:25,689 --> 00:16:30,772right hand or however you want to do it,Christmas time can be extremely stressful.33100:16:30,772 --> 00:16:37,579I can remember in, in, in my school, um,Nashville, uh, we used to give gifts.33200:16:38,130 --> 00:16:41,780Among among the classes, I didn'thave anything to give gifts,33300:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,190you know, to my fellow class.33400:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,150I was, I was a foster kid fromone foster home to another33500:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,080very stressful time for me.33600:16:49,430 --> 00:16:55,469And my point is that even amongfamilies, um, many times we feel like,33700:16:55,629 --> 00:16:57,319oh, so and so got me this last year.33800:16:57,319 --> 00:16:59,280So I need to get somethingbigger for them this year.33900:16:59,530 --> 00:17:00,219Don't do that.34000:17:00,349 --> 00:17:00,740Don't do it.34100:17:00,750 --> 00:17:01,810It's not necessary.34200:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,110It's not necessary.34300:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,210Um, yeah.34400:17:05,349 --> 00:17:09,750Give yourself permission should youchoose to opt out of gift giving.34500:17:09,810 --> 00:17:10,300It's okay.34600:17:11,109 --> 00:17:12,089Just say, you know what?34700:17:12,839 --> 00:17:16,3802023, I just decided,you know, I love you.34800:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,220I really do love you, but I justdecided I'm just not going to34900:17:19,220 --> 00:17:20,540do the gift thing this year.35000:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,369I'm just, I'm just not going to do that.35100:17:22,739 --> 00:17:23,169Okay?35200:17:23,749 --> 00:17:28,569And, and, and you don't have to go over,you don't have to explain why a lot.35300:17:28,580 --> 00:17:32,220Just say, I just decided, youknow, not, not to do this year.35400:17:32,980 --> 00:17:36,070The ones who love you and careabout you will be okay with that.35500:17:36,399 --> 00:17:38,925The ones who don't, um, Youdon't have to worry about them.35600:17:39,385 --> 00:17:39,895Okay.35700:17:40,215 --> 00:17:40,955Does that make sense?35800:17:41,775 --> 00:17:43,255And what's my point?35900:17:43,735 --> 00:17:46,555You will be amazed at the stress.36000:17:47,415 --> 00:17:52,995That folks undergo about spendingmoney and particularly when it has36100:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,445to do with being like everybody else.36200:17:55,445 --> 00:17:57,645And so they don't stand out, whatever.36300:17:57,855 --> 00:18:01,334Again, if you've never been poor, youhave no idea what I'm talking about.36400:18:01,655 --> 00:18:04,475But those of you who have, youknow what I'm talking about.36500:18:04,695 --> 00:18:05,855And it's not a good feeling.36600:18:05,924 --> 00:18:09,275And my point is, it doesn'thave to be that way.36700:18:09,625 --> 00:18:13,175Celebrate being together,not about spending money, but36800:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,565just about being together.36900:18:15,720 --> 00:18:20,970But for the grace of God, we arealive today, and we're able to stand37000:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,590and sing, et cetera, et cetera.37100:18:22,830 --> 00:18:25,260So just make it about that.37200:18:25,925 --> 00:18:26,195Next.37300:18:26,395 --> 00:18:28,425So, so you have my permission.37400:18:29,814 --> 00:18:34,254If you decide not to give a giftand somebody gets mad at you and37500:18:34,254 --> 00:18:39,375say, well, you know, I went to oneof those masterclass and Dr Chaka37600:18:39,415 --> 00:18:40,675said I don't have to give a gift.37700:18:40,675 --> 00:18:43,105So I decided not to.37800:18:43,105 --> 00:18:45,264So you can blame me.37900:18:45,304 --> 00:18:45,995It's okay.38000:18:46,044 --> 00:18:47,324I don't mind that.38100:18:48,274 --> 00:18:53,725Another point as you get with familyand or friends That may very well38200:18:53,735 --> 00:18:57,635be different people in that groupwho don't believe what you believe.38300:18:58,465 --> 00:18:59,935Be respectful of that.38400:19:00,065 --> 00:19:00,895Be respectful.38500:19:01,325 --> 00:19:04,685Not saying you have to agree with themand not saying you change anything,38600:19:05,325 --> 00:19:07,485but just be respectful, number one.38700:19:07,805 --> 00:19:08,974Number two, be honest.38800:19:09,655 --> 00:19:12,225You know, I believe blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.38900:19:12,364 --> 00:19:14,985Honestly, you know, no problem with that.39000:19:16,095 --> 00:19:21,205If possible, abort arguments, mainlybecause if you have an argument,39100:19:21,404 --> 00:19:24,384you aren't going to change anybody'sopinion because if you're yelling and39200:19:24,384 --> 00:19:28,334screaming at me, you certainly aren'tgoing to convert me if that's your goal.39300:19:28,644 --> 00:19:32,954Um, but on the other hand, ifyou're respectful with me and you39400:19:32,955 --> 00:19:36,785have a conversation with me andyou educate me and blah, blah,39500:19:36,785 --> 00:19:40,504blah, and show me some things thatI may be more open to listening39600:19:40,504 --> 00:19:41,895to what you're trying to tell me.39700:19:42,195 --> 00:19:45,665But just, just some general,some general rules, okay?39800:19:46,325 --> 00:19:47,145Next slide, please.39900:19:47,325 --> 00:19:53,004Remember in social gatherings, andthis is one of my favorite things.40000:19:53,205 --> 00:20:01,644There are two basic general types ofpeople, two categories, and you all know40100:20:01,644 --> 00:20:03,194this, but I'll just go over it anyway.40200:20:03,634 --> 00:20:05,009They are introverts,introverts, and introverts.40300:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,940And there are extroverts.40400:20:07,280 --> 00:20:07,750Okay.40500:20:08,410 --> 00:20:11,990So if you're at a family gathering andyou have a party with your family and40600:20:11,990 --> 00:20:17,550there are people who are, um, um, uh,putting caps on their heads and jumping40700:20:17,560 --> 00:20:23,529on the table and seeing an old anxiety,you may not be one of those people40800:20:25,019 --> 00:20:31,129who's sitting up against the wall byyourself, uh, with your arms folded.40900:20:31,615 --> 00:20:33,125And you're listening and watching.41000:20:33,345 --> 00:20:35,095It doesn't mean you're not enjoying it.41100:20:35,425 --> 00:20:40,625My point is, everybody's not going tojump on the table and sing Auld Lang Syne.41200:20:40,895 --> 00:20:46,605Some people will enjoy the party justas well by sitting and listening.41300:20:47,134 --> 00:20:50,284And, and a lot of times we have thistendency to believe, Well, if you41400:20:50,284 --> 00:20:53,545aren't doing it the way I'm doing it,there must be something wrong with you.41500:20:53,555 --> 00:20:54,575Well, that's not true.41600:20:55,475 --> 00:20:58,554God in his infinitewisdom made us different.41700:20:59,365 --> 00:21:03,794Uh, and it's that difference that Ithink that diversity that gives us our41800:21:03,804 --> 00:21:08,484strength and our specialness, but Iput it be respectful of those folks who41900:21:08,484 --> 00:21:10,534don't celebrate the way you celebrate.42000:21:10,964 --> 00:21:11,735It's okay.42100:21:12,234 --> 00:21:16,314And if you're one of those peoplewho just sits and listens, don't feel42200:21:16,324 --> 00:21:17,964like you have to explain anything.42300:21:17,974 --> 00:21:18,414You don't.42400:21:18,940 --> 00:21:20,870You don't have to explainanything then about it.42500:21:21,060 --> 00:21:25,330You know who you are and who'syou are, uh, you know, but if,42600:21:25,340 --> 00:21:27,560if you're one of those actually,because usually experts are the42700:21:27,570 --> 00:21:29,030ones that run around grabbing folks.42800:21:29,060 --> 00:21:30,500Oh, come on, come on, give me this, that.42900:21:30,799 --> 00:21:35,619But if you're one of those people,just take a breath, take a breath.43000:21:36,070 --> 00:21:41,260And, and if at your first Nonverbalcommunication with this person,43100:21:41,699 --> 00:21:43,790you're sort of getting the feelingthat they don't want to go.43200:21:43,919 --> 00:21:45,660Don't push it is my point.43300:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,560Don't push it because even if youmake them go, they are going to enjoy43400:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,730it because they don't want to do it.43500:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,189Right, right.43600:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,620Now, it may very well be that aftera period of time, they may say, you43700:21:55,620 --> 00:21:57,449know what, maybe I will come over.43800:21:57,449 --> 00:21:58,720You know, how do I get there?43900:21:58,919 --> 00:21:59,810Then that's okay.44000:22:00,120 --> 00:22:03,049But again, it goes back tothe basic principle of being44100:22:03,049 --> 00:22:05,210respectful, being respectful.44200:22:05,429 --> 00:22:08,080Everybody is not an extrovert.44300:22:08,329 --> 00:22:10,080Everybody doesn't do backflips.44400:22:11,070 --> 00:22:15,765They don't, um, speakingby, I'm an introvert.44500:22:16,405 --> 00:22:17,405I am not an introvert.44600:22:17,585 --> 00:22:17,805I'm,44700:22:36,145 --> 00:22:38,080but, but just, just be respectful.44800:22:38,650 --> 00:22:39,550Next slide, please.44900:22:41,379 --> 00:22:43,110Okay, sensitive topic.45000:22:43,110 --> 00:22:44,409I'm going to go there anyway.45100:22:45,419 --> 00:22:46,610We all know.45200:22:46,689 --> 00:22:47,750We all know.45300:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,199Okay, family.45400:22:49,199 --> 00:22:51,050Now, family gets together.45500:22:51,050 --> 00:22:55,909There's always one or two, butat least one in the family who's45600:22:55,909 --> 00:22:57,149not going to follow the rules.45700:22:57,670 --> 00:22:58,390We know this.45800:22:58,390 --> 00:23:03,590He may be that uncle or that auntor whoever, but there's always one.45900:23:03,970 --> 00:23:08,000These are my, my personal approachesand I share them with you.46000:23:08,769 --> 00:23:13,909Uh, now this one person at the groupgathering, particularly after a46100:23:13,909 --> 00:23:17,850while, after they've been drinking,let's, let's Stay the way it is.46200:23:18,090 --> 00:23:22,250Um, one of the reasons why I don'tdrink and I recommend others not46300:23:22,250 --> 00:23:26,629drink is that alcohol does badthings to you on multiple levels.46400:23:26,759 --> 00:23:28,449But I'll just start with the mind.46500:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,309It does things with your mind sothat you either do or say things that46600:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,139you wouldn't ordinarily do or say.46700:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,759And, you know, if you've hadfriends who've gone through,46800:23:36,819 --> 00:23:38,030they'll tell you the next day.46900:23:38,030 --> 00:23:38,800Oh, my God.47000:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,419What did I do?47100:23:40,419 --> 00:23:41,030What did I say?47200:23:41,030 --> 00:23:41,669What did I say?47300:23:41,919 --> 00:23:42,560True story.47400:23:43,425 --> 00:23:47,065When I joined, when I was in college,I went to Tennessee State University,47500:23:47,485 --> 00:23:52,785favorite HBCU, I might add, uh,and I joined a fraternity, Alpha47600:23:52,785 --> 00:23:54,124Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated.47700:23:54,125 --> 00:23:59,875Matter of fact, we just celebratedour 117th anniversary, founded47800:23:59,875 --> 00:24:02,554in 1906 at Cornell University.47900:24:02,955 --> 00:24:04,844But I digress, I digress.48000:24:05,234 --> 00:24:09,770Uh, but But, but one of the things I,you know, and I told my brothers, I48100:24:09,770 --> 00:24:11,840said, I don't drink, that's just me.48200:24:12,219 --> 00:24:14,620And of course, they would give mea hard time about this and that,48300:24:14,730 --> 00:24:16,509but I said, I just don't do it.48400:24:16,909 --> 00:24:21,500Um, and, and, and they, theywould tease me to no end about it.48500:24:22,049 --> 00:24:28,959But after about six months or a year, whenwe would go to a, uh, let's say a social48600:24:28,959 --> 00:24:34,290gathering, When we would go to a socialgathering, they would come up to me and48700:24:34,290 --> 00:24:40,099they say, chalk talk, you know, I'm sureI'm going to do X, Y, Z tonight, uh, could48800:24:40,100 --> 00:24:41,770you, could you keep my wallet for me?48900:24:42,629 --> 00:24:44,589Cause I, I don't want anybody to steal it.49000:24:44,770 --> 00:24:46,909And could you get my car keys for me?49100:24:46,910 --> 00:24:48,409Because I don't want to lose them.49200:24:48,589 --> 00:24:51,679And what I figured out, whathappened was that in spite of49300:24:51,689 --> 00:24:54,609the fact that they gave me a hardtime, they respected my position.49400:24:54,984 --> 00:24:55,444Amen.49500:24:55,564 --> 00:25:00,024I'm still, I was still, you know,a strong brother in the fraternity,49600:25:00,304 --> 00:25:04,294uh, and they recognized that theyneeded help because they were going to49700:25:04,494 --> 00:25:09,574purposely put themselves in a situationwhere they were not in control.49800:25:10,174 --> 00:25:13,354And my whole thing is why in theworld would I want to do that for49900:25:13,384 --> 00:25:17,605any reason, for any reason, notthat I'm a controller, but I am.50000:25:19,634 --> 00:25:20,685That's why I was searching.50100:25:23,694 --> 00:25:24,714So my point is.50200:25:25,194 --> 00:25:31,875Uh, you do not have to go along withthe group just because the group is50300:25:31,875 --> 00:25:34,145doing it just because you're afraid.50400:25:34,145 --> 00:25:35,364He said, Well, what's wrong with you?50500:25:35,364 --> 00:25:36,685And who do you think you are?50600:25:36,685 --> 00:25:38,464And you think you better than us?50700:25:38,464 --> 00:25:41,375And I remember when you were blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.50800:25:41,664 --> 00:25:43,394Now you are ignore all that.50900:25:43,394 --> 00:25:45,414Just just pray for just just pray for him.51000:25:45,424 --> 00:25:46,204Just pray for him.51100:25:46,554 --> 00:25:53,284Um, Uh, but remember that as peoplestart imbibing more and more and more,51200:25:53,484 --> 00:25:55,665they start losing that natural self.51300:25:56,084 --> 00:25:59,484You know, they're going to startgetting loud and laughing more and51400:25:59,484 --> 00:26:01,314screaming more and blah, blah, blah.51500:26:01,654 --> 00:26:04,565Uh, many times they can getannoying depending on how large51600:26:04,565 --> 00:26:06,504the, the, the, the group is.51700:26:06,904 --> 00:26:10,264Uh, many times they can get abit aggressive, male, female,51800:26:10,295 --> 00:26:11,714female, male, et cetera.51900:26:12,114 --> 00:26:16,989Um, Um, and so, you know, justtry to avoid them if you can, but52000:26:16,989 --> 00:26:18,580if not, prepare to leave early.52100:26:19,060 --> 00:26:25,889Say, thank you so much, love the food,God bless you, gotta go, or whatever,52200:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,509whatever terms that you want to use.52300:26:28,830 --> 00:26:32,529And one of the things that I liketo say, and this is just me, I don't52400:26:32,539 --> 00:26:34,179think there is a middle ground here.52500:26:34,549 --> 00:26:36,159If you permit it, you promote it.52600:26:37,034 --> 00:26:38,315You know, that's just me.52700:26:38,324 --> 00:26:39,984If you permit it, you promote it.52800:26:40,395 --> 00:26:43,804You know, if you, you're a participantand blah, blah, blah, and say, well,52900:26:43,804 --> 00:26:46,335I'm just doing it because it's theholidays and whatever, whatever.53000:26:46,625 --> 00:26:49,775Well, you know, I, I just don'tagree, but that, that's just me.53100:26:50,375 --> 00:26:56,124So just be aware that there willbe that person at your gathering.53200:26:56,324 --> 00:26:59,354There will probably be at leastone, and there may be more than one.53300:26:59,754 --> 00:27:01,274Just have a plan, is my point.53400:27:01,784 --> 00:27:04,734Just have a plan, um, you don'thave to be rude, you don't have53500:27:04,734 --> 00:27:09,364to be mean, just say yeah, I'msorry, uh, time, time, time to go.53600:27:09,534 --> 00:27:10,314Next slide please.53700:27:10,504 --> 00:27:14,544Another one of my favorite topics, becauseI think this is a topic that is not53800:27:14,564 --> 00:27:21,434nearly addressed as much, both medicallyand non medically, is how we deal with,53900:27:21,624 --> 00:27:24,364uh, those who are older around us.54000:27:25,024 --> 00:27:27,714They, they, family, friends,church members, et cetera.54100:27:28,245 --> 00:27:30,094Many times we don't understand them.54200:27:30,404 --> 00:27:34,034And so we tend not to be aspatient with them as we should.54300:27:34,545 --> 00:27:35,295And we say, Oh, Mrs.54400:27:35,295 --> 00:27:36,514So and so is so mean.54500:27:36,525 --> 00:27:37,614You know, or Mrs.54600:27:37,614 --> 00:27:38,965So and so is so mean, or whatever.54700:27:39,315 --> 00:27:44,344If they are over 70 or 80 or whateveryears of age, and I've even said54800:27:44,645 --> 00:27:48,33465 and older, um, things change.54900:27:48,944 --> 00:27:52,125Things change in terms of,of, of how people think.55000:27:52,725 --> 00:27:55,145Things change in termsof people's attitude.55100:27:55,589 --> 00:27:59,230Things change in terms of howpeople interreact with others and55200:27:59,230 --> 00:28:01,060a lot of times as we get older.55300:28:01,060 --> 00:28:05,750This is leaving aside medicalconditions now like Dementia and55400:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,480Alzheimer's and all that sort of thing.55500:28:08,109 --> 00:28:09,359Just be aware of that.55600:28:09,900 --> 00:28:13,380Just remember that older patientsOlder people present with different55700:28:13,389 --> 00:28:15,970symptoms than younger peoplewhen they're, when they become55800:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,929ill, they may be on medication.55900:28:17,929 --> 00:28:19,510They may need to take their medication.56000:28:19,740 --> 00:28:23,499A lot of times if they're at agathering, excuse me, they may56100:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,420forget to take their medication.56200:28:25,939 --> 00:28:28,969Older people many times havereduced energy reserves.56300:28:29,239 --> 00:28:31,859They may be, they may be some ofthose people who are sitting on56400:28:31,859 --> 00:28:34,179the side watching everybody else.56500:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,920Don't necessarily think that youhave to go and grab them and pull56600:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,389them to the center of the circle.56700:28:41,630 --> 00:28:45,739If they say no, except no,you know, don't make them have56800:28:45,739 --> 00:28:47,359to say it two or three times.56900:28:47,620 --> 00:28:49,239You know, no, I don't want to.57000:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,289I don't want to dance.57100:28:50,289 --> 00:28:51,600No, I don't want to whatever, whatever.57200:28:51,929 --> 00:28:53,169Be respectful.57300:28:54,830 --> 00:29:01,699Remember that as you get older, cognition,which is thinking, slows, slows.57400:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,179So if you're trying to communicatewith them and there's a lot of57500:29:04,179 --> 00:29:07,879noise and there's a lot of crowd,whatever, whatever, be more direct57600:29:08,239 --> 00:29:10,609and be and speak more slowly.57700:29:10,630 --> 00:29:12,109Many times you have to repeat it.57800:29:12,549 --> 00:29:14,240They're not being rude to you.57900:29:14,259 --> 00:29:16,749They just don't understand whatyou're trying to say to them.58000:29:17,214 --> 00:29:18,915So, so be aware of that.58100:29:19,435 --> 00:29:23,304Be aware that musculoskeletal systemsin the elderly is less flexible.58200:29:23,634 --> 00:29:27,264Eyesight and hearingchange, falls are common.58300:29:27,795 --> 00:29:30,584If there are a lot of people runningaround, particularly little kids running58400:29:30,594 --> 00:29:35,754around, people going upstairs, downstairs,be aware that if you've got that elderly58500:29:35,784 --> 00:29:41,645person in your, in your midst, That youneed to pay special attention to them.58600:29:42,145 --> 00:29:45,585Um, uh, just just just to bea good host or good hostess.58700:29:46,065 --> 00:29:50,484Um, many times, elderly folksmay seem to be disinterested.58800:29:50,834 --> 00:29:53,594A lot of times they they'renot hearing everything.58900:29:53,794 --> 00:29:55,574So they don't really know what's going on.59000:29:56,114 --> 00:29:58,484Um, look for signs of depression.59100:29:58,990 --> 00:30:03,840among the elderly, particularlyif they have lost a life partner59200:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,030recently last six months last year.59300:30:07,250 --> 00:30:11,360And maybe this is the first Christmasthat they are by themselves.59400:30:11,699 --> 00:30:15,300It's a big deal for themand not on them for anybody.59500:30:15,639 --> 00:30:19,420And it's just one thing to keep in mindas we celebrate the Christmas season.59600:30:19,880 --> 00:30:24,520This season may be a lot different fora lot of people than last Christmas.59700:30:25,095 --> 00:30:27,015And we just need to be aware of that.59800:30:28,775 --> 00:30:32,675One of the things I like to recommend,particularly with gatherings of the59900:30:32,675 --> 00:30:38,445family, is to assign a member of thefamily to the most elderly person there.60000:30:39,135 --> 00:30:39,905Trust me on this.60100:30:40,135 --> 00:30:42,645Teenagers and pre teens love this.60200:30:43,184 --> 00:30:46,185If you go to little Johnny and say,you know what, I want you to sit with60300:30:46,195 --> 00:30:49,765Grandma, and whatever she wants, Iwant you to make sure she gets it.60400:30:50,145 --> 00:30:54,255You know, and if she has any issues,you come and tell me the kid will love60500:30:54,255 --> 00:30:58,645that because now you've given him orher responsibility, you know, usually60600:30:59,025 --> 00:31:00,725most folks like their grandparents.60700:31:00,955 --> 00:31:01,255Come on.60800:31:01,715 --> 00:31:02,665I'm a grandparent.60900:31:02,705 --> 00:31:02,995Come on.61000:31:03,625 --> 00:31:05,035We're the ones they like.61100:31:05,205 --> 00:31:06,654They may not like mom and dad.61200:31:07,445 --> 00:31:08,685They like their grandparents.61300:31:08,715 --> 00:31:09,175All right.61400:31:09,445 --> 00:31:15,025So I assigned them to the grandparentsor maybe it's a grand aunt or61500:31:15,025 --> 00:31:19,845somebody, but that that way youengage them in what's going on.61600:31:20,555 --> 00:31:24,814This is particularly true if youwere in a gathering where there61700:31:24,815 --> 00:31:26,184are multiple languages spoken.61800:31:26,715 --> 00:31:29,625Okay, let's say Spanish, English, right?61900:31:29,845 --> 00:31:33,225And let's say there's a group offolks who are speaking Spanish only.62000:31:33,635 --> 00:31:38,405Um, grab one of those teenagersor preteens who's bilingual, and62100:31:38,405 --> 00:31:39,975say, I want you to sit by Mr.62200:31:39,975 --> 00:31:43,754So and so, and whatever we say, I wantyou to let him know what we're saying.62300:31:44,244 --> 00:31:44,694Okay?62400:31:44,975 --> 00:31:46,485Uh, they will love that.62500:31:46,525 --> 00:31:49,315They will love that, becauseagain, you're showing them respect.62600:31:49,825 --> 00:31:53,145Um, and also the other memberwho's there who doesn't speak62700:31:53,145 --> 00:31:54,455the language appreciates it.62800:31:54,845 --> 00:31:58,595Because the hardest thing is when folkstell jokes, you know, somebody tells62900:31:58,605 --> 00:32:02,005jokes, it takes three minutes to tellit, then everybody laughs and then they63000:32:02,005 --> 00:32:06,745tell you and you don't know what to dobecause they've got on to the next joke.63100:32:07,554 --> 00:32:10,945All right, so, so just just thinkabout the little things that can end63200:32:10,945 --> 00:32:16,235up making those holiday gatheringsmore, more, more beneficial.63300:32:16,555 --> 00:32:17,175Next, please.63400:32:18,965 --> 00:32:19,645Basically.63500:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,280Stay focused.63600:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,420And this is not just in the holiday time.63700:32:23,850 --> 00:32:26,650Life really is too short not to enjoy it.63800:32:26,990 --> 00:32:29,340Um, joy is up to us.63900:32:29,400 --> 00:32:35,979I define joy as, as happiness,uh, repeatedly, um, stay in64000:32:35,980 --> 00:32:37,939good health and stay happy.64100:32:38,150 --> 00:32:38,864Next, please.64200:32:39,245 --> 00:32:42,575There will always be negativesthat will come up every single day.64300:32:42,575 --> 00:32:43,675You will think negatives.64400:32:44,005 --> 00:32:50,935You know, somebody may say,uh, um, whatever to you.64500:32:50,945 --> 00:32:53,725You may say, are they,are they dissing me?64600:32:53,735 --> 00:32:56,144Did they, did, did she just criticize me?64700:32:56,305 --> 00:32:57,964Did he just criticize me?64800:32:58,455 --> 00:33:02,524Uh, I, I have a thing I say, youknow, most of that stuff, when64900:33:02,525 --> 00:33:05,365you think somebody is sayingstuff, most times you're wrong.65000:33:05,905 --> 00:33:07,125It's just what you think.65100:33:07,645 --> 00:33:10,035You know, but people aren'teven thinking about you, but65200:33:10,035 --> 00:33:11,255yeah, you, you're perceived.65300:33:11,295 --> 00:33:12,125So you get it all.65400:33:12,315 --> 00:33:13,355You get in a lather.65500:33:13,525 --> 00:33:14,425Oh, my goodness.65600:33:14,475 --> 00:33:16,245Roman Collins said X about me.65700:33:16,425 --> 00:33:18,755So the next time I seehim, blah, blah, blah.65800:33:18,755 --> 00:33:20,114I'm just going to stay away from him.65900:33:20,434 --> 00:33:21,194Don't do that.66000:33:21,565 --> 00:33:23,795Number 1, you're wasting time, your time.66100:33:24,405 --> 00:33:26,274Number 2, you're wasting energy.66200:33:26,544 --> 00:33:28,705Number 3, Roman Collins didn'tdo anything to you anyway.66300:33:29,175 --> 00:33:34,285Okay, so, so just be aware that the mostof the times the negatives that we think66400:33:34,525 --> 00:33:37,595are our perceptions, they're not real.66500:33:37,745 --> 00:33:39,095They're our perception.66600:33:39,365 --> 00:33:40,975I know because I do it.66700:33:41,375 --> 00:33:42,494I'm better at it.66800:33:42,585 --> 00:33:44,035I do it all the time.66900:33:44,384 --> 00:33:46,895Um, and so it's somethingthat we can all stop.67000:33:47,045 --> 00:33:47,885Next slide please.67100:33:48,624 --> 00:33:49,974Mental health exercise.67200:33:49,974 --> 00:33:50,954Remember what I said.67300:33:51,235 --> 00:33:52,035Just about done.67400:33:52,715 --> 00:33:57,025We frequently talk about physicalexercise, you know, so many times for67500:33:57,025 --> 00:33:59,525me walking, running so many steps.67600:33:59,924 --> 00:34:03,935Um, um, cardio exercises,blah, blah, blah.67700:34:05,065 --> 00:34:08,604This is something I came upa few months ago, um, that I67800:34:08,604 --> 00:34:10,235call mental health exercises.67900:34:10,765 --> 00:34:11,495Easy to do.68000:34:11,985 --> 00:34:14,295Um, and I think youshould do them every day.68100:34:14,295 --> 00:34:16,495Number one, think good thoughts every day.68200:34:16,715 --> 00:34:18,854Now that, that can't, thatcan't be that hard to do.68300:34:19,375 --> 00:34:21,615Um, just, just think a good thought.68400:34:22,195 --> 00:34:24,275Think good about good.68500:34:24,525 --> 00:34:27,625Think about good people dailyin addition to the thought.68600:34:27,645 --> 00:34:32,145Think about a person can be somebody who'sa family member, not a family member, but68700:34:32,145 --> 00:34:36,264who's just a good person who makes youfeel good when you see him or her, they68800:34:36,265 --> 00:34:41,945smile, they do stuff, they laugh, theytell you a joke, whatever, think about68900:34:41,975 --> 00:34:45,205at least one positive event per day.69000:34:45,425 --> 00:34:49,605Think about something that'shappened to you today on Saturday.69100:34:49,874 --> 00:34:50,694That's been good.69200:34:52,390 --> 00:34:53,990What are you grateful for?69300:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,870You know, as we used to say downsouth, count your many blessings,69400:34:57,870 --> 00:35:01,939name them one by one, and you willbe amazed at what God has done.69500:35:02,220 --> 00:35:03,290Just, just think about it.69600:35:03,489 --> 00:35:03,959Okay.69700:35:04,310 --> 00:35:08,300Um, a process, this is aprocess that takes time.69800:35:08,310 --> 00:35:12,270Now you are going to suffer, uh,suddenly become positive overnight,69900:35:12,270 --> 00:35:16,660but if you practice it again,like going out and trying to run70000:35:17,070 --> 00:35:20,040or trying to exercise, you'll getbetter and better and better with it.70100:35:20,310 --> 00:35:21,150Next slide please.70200:35:21,390 --> 00:35:26,760Many years ago there was . Some of youmay, some i, I, I may be dating myself,70300:35:26,760 --> 00:35:31,320but, but, but some of you may be tooyoung to, to remember that, but that was70400:35:31,320 --> 00:35:36,180a singer called Bobby McFaren, uh, who putour, a song called Don't Worry Be Happy.70500:35:36,540 --> 00:35:37,955And we used to all hung that Do.70600:35:40,655 --> 00:35:41,400And that's sort thing.70700:35:41,535 --> 00:35:44,730And my point is, it's, it's,it's a, it's a good, it's a good.70800:35:45,090 --> 00:35:48,460model to follow to keepthat song with you.70900:35:48,860 --> 00:35:52,860And when you get up in the morning ormidday or before you go to bed at night,71000:35:54,000 --> 00:35:59,249just remember how happy, how many happythings have occurred to you on this day.71100:35:59,300 --> 00:35:59,800Next slide.71200:36:00,549 --> 00:36:05,060In summary, command and control.71300:36:05,269 --> 00:36:09,320We have command and control ofourselves, and that is physically71400:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,930lodged in the frontal lobe of our brain.71500:36:11,930 --> 00:36:12,069Next slide.71600:36:12,230 --> 00:36:14,900in the area called the prefrontal cortex.71700:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,240We are in control of us.71800:36:17,660 --> 00:36:20,350Be aware of rules aroundfamily gatherings.71900:36:20,690 --> 00:36:22,940Be aware of rules around gift giving.72000:36:23,500 --> 00:36:29,209Um, uh, make sure that we mentallyexercise daily, just like we72100:36:29,209 --> 00:36:31,009physically exercise daily.72200:36:31,459 --> 00:36:33,809Um, and don't worry, be happy.72300:36:33,959 --> 00:36:34,509Next slide.72400:36:35,459 --> 00:36:37,599Always with these talks.72500:36:37,965 --> 00:36:41,745Uh, and with the podcast, Ialways add in my basic principles.72600:36:41,775 --> 00:36:42,475This is me.72700:36:43,275 --> 00:36:44,965In my life, God is in charge.72800:36:46,225 --> 00:36:47,625I am a physician of faith.72900:36:48,095 --> 00:36:53,555Um, indeed it has been the, the, theinfluence and the training and the73000:36:53,575 --> 00:36:57,165protection of, of, of God in my life.73100:36:57,485 --> 00:37:00,095That's allowed me to do thethings that I've been able to do.73200:37:01,665 --> 00:37:04,605Second, basic principle, no bad days.73300:37:04,695 --> 00:37:05,785I don't have bad days.73400:37:05,895 --> 00:37:11,035I used to, I used to, I stopped havingbad days about 30 years ago, because I73500:37:11,035 --> 00:37:13,155figured out my day was either good or bad.73600:37:13,155 --> 00:37:14,155If I said it was.73700:37:14,690 --> 00:37:16,790So I just said, I don't want them.73800:37:17,030 --> 00:37:17,770They're all good.73900:37:17,950 --> 00:37:18,830Simple as that.74000:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,390It didn't cost anything.74100:37:21,390 --> 00:37:22,020I just did it.74200:37:22,500 --> 00:37:27,279Um, uh, and so I pass that on toyou that whether your day is good74300:37:27,279 --> 00:37:29,709or bad, it's whether you say it is.74400:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,599If it is raining when you wake up inthe morning, you can either say, Oh,74500:37:34,599 --> 00:37:38,770my God, it is raining and I'm goingto get wet and I'm going to get a74600:37:38,790 --> 00:37:42,240cold and then I'm going to get sickand you can go on and on and on.74700:37:42,460 --> 00:37:43,709Or you can say, Hmm.74800:37:44,070 --> 00:37:45,030It is raining.74900:37:45,290 --> 00:37:46,890Oh, what a beautiful day.75000:37:46,900 --> 00:37:50,420It's cleaning off the leavesand the sun is brighter, blah,75100:37:50,420 --> 00:37:51,660blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.75200:37:51,810 --> 00:37:52,870Your choice.75300:37:53,215 --> 00:37:53,935You're a choice.75400:37:54,145 --> 00:37:59,555It's the old thing about is my glasshalf half full or half empty, right?75500:38:00,195 --> 00:38:01,185I'm one of those people.75600:38:01,215 --> 00:38:03,675I don't even go to thehalf full or half empty.75700:38:03,845 --> 00:38:05,604I'm just happy to have a glass.75800:38:06,255 --> 00:38:07,295Give me a glass.75900:38:07,534 --> 00:38:09,775I'll work out the rest, right?76000:38:10,075 --> 00:38:15,425So, so my point is if you're fortunateenough to have a glass, uh, be76100:38:15,425 --> 00:38:16,985grateful for what you have in it.76200:38:17,615 --> 00:38:18,985Don't sweat the small stuff.76300:38:19,025 --> 00:38:20,165Most stuff is small.76400:38:20,325 --> 00:38:25,085I guarantee you going backto me misperceiving something76500:38:25,085 --> 00:38:26,615that somebody says it does.76600:38:27,404 --> 00:38:28,525Principle number four.76700:38:28,564 --> 00:38:31,124Forgiveness is therapy.76800:38:31,545 --> 00:38:33,215Forgiveness is therapy.76900:38:33,215 --> 00:38:37,355I learned this 100 differenttimes that again, if I perceive77000:38:37,575 --> 00:38:41,735somebody has said or done somethingto me, forgive them immediately.77100:38:41,945 --> 00:38:42,965Don't think about it.77200:38:43,215 --> 00:38:44,545Don't look at the facts.77300:38:44,545 --> 00:38:45,675The facts don't matter.77400:38:45,895 --> 00:38:47,395Just forgive, forgive, forgive.77500:38:47,595 --> 00:38:49,865Do it quickly and do it often.77600:38:50,715 --> 00:38:55,755You'll be amazed at how that allowsyour command and control to keep you77700:38:55,755 --> 00:38:58,615on a positive path where you don'tworry about all that other stuff77800:38:58,795 --> 00:39:01,625that you can't control anyway, right?77900:39:02,855 --> 00:39:06,485And the last principle, numberfive, everything is a relationship.78000:39:06,815 --> 00:39:08,555Everything is relationship.78100:39:08,815 --> 00:39:10,765Relationships are based on three things.78200:39:11,115 --> 00:39:15,140Mutual respect, Mutual trustand good communication.78300:39:15,290 --> 00:39:18,140If you have those three things,you have a good relationship.78400:39:18,380 --> 00:39:21,030If you do not, you have work to do.78500:39:21,360 --> 00:39:21,920Next slide.78600:39:22,620 --> 00:39:27,120Just want to mention, I mentioned earlierthat this series is part of a podcast.78700:39:27,419 --> 00:39:32,190Uh, the masterclass is done once a month,every second Saturday in the month.78800:39:32,540 --> 00:39:35,310The podcast is doneonce a week on average.78900:39:35,670 --> 00:39:39,480Um, we've done over 35, 36 podcasts.79000:39:39,870 --> 00:39:43,590Uh, so I would encourage youto go into our library of79100:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,960podcasts and look up subjects.79200:39:46,230 --> 00:39:51,120Um, uh, and the way to do that isto go to Paton, become a Paton,79300:39:51,390 --> 00:39:56,925P-A-T-R-O-N, dot pod bean.com, us slash.79400:39:57,375 --> 00:39:58,855H W W P.79500:39:59,115 --> 00:40:02,875That H W W P stands for Healthy,Wealthy and Wise Podcast.79600:40:03,895 --> 00:40:13,574That's Patreon, P A T R O N dot podbean, PO D B E A N dot com forward slash H W W P.79700:40:14,405 --> 00:40:16,485The other thing, too, wewere talking about earlier.79800:40:16,795 --> 00:40:22,235This month is the one year anniversary ofour podcast, uh, and we're so delighted.79900:40:22,445 --> 00:40:26,774And again, the podcast and themasterclass of one and this again, if80000:40:27,005 --> 00:40:31,634Robin Collins back in individuals whoare on what we call our production80100:40:31,634 --> 00:40:36,505team, including Jesse and RobinCollins, but also Tony McClendon,80200:40:37,925 --> 00:40:42,350excuse me, Robin Revis, um, um, Mr.80300:40:42,350 --> 00:40:45,940Stella was very helpful whenPastor Dockery called him80400:40:45,940 --> 00:40:47,780in our first three months.80500:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,369We were struggling because we couldn'tget the we couldn't get the sound right.80600:40:52,899 --> 00:40:55,529And you can't have a podcastif you can't people can't hear80700:40:55,529 --> 00:40:57,188you and we just won't work.80800:40:57,188 --> 00:40:59,160And so we tried everything.80900:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,450And so I, I finallywent to Pastor Dockery.81000:41:01,450 --> 00:41:03,310I said, can you help us please?81100:41:03,660 --> 00:41:05,570Do you have any ideas?81200:41:05,860 --> 00:41:07,940And so we thought he said,yeah, I have an idea.81300:41:08,140 --> 00:41:09,539I'm gonna I'm gonna send Mr.81400:41:09,539 --> 00:41:10,330Stella over.81500:41:10,565 --> 00:41:11,295God bless him.81600:41:11,305 --> 00:41:11,615Mr.81700:41:11,615 --> 00:41:17,435Stella came over, pushed a few buttons andhe said, do this, this and this and left.81800:41:17,485 --> 00:41:19,604I said, call me if you, if you need me.81900:41:20,055 --> 00:41:20,865And he was right.82000:41:20,874 --> 00:41:21,334It worked.82100:41:21,824 --> 00:41:22,354It worked.82200:41:22,664 --> 00:41:24,324So, you know, God bless Mr.82300:41:24,324 --> 00:41:24,814Stella.82400:41:25,135 --> 00:41:30,155Um, uh, so I'm, I'm, I'm very,very pleased, pleased about that.82500:41:31,225 --> 00:41:34,385Pam also came to one of ourmeetings and she was very helpful.82600:41:34,695 --> 00:41:37,585Um, so, so God has blessedus is what I'm trying to say.82700:41:38,045 --> 00:41:39,345Most podcasts.82800:41:39,910 --> 00:41:42,010Uh, fail within the first year.82900:41:42,210 --> 00:41:45,090Most of them, 90 percentfail within the first year.83000:41:45,430 --> 00:41:50,619We're in that 10 percent that survivedbecause we're going into January 2024.83100:41:51,100 --> 00:41:58,765Um, And so, so thanks to all of you andthat's it, but please sign up as a patron83200:41:58,775 --> 00:42:02,584so you can listen to the podcast anytimeand go back and listen to old podcast.83300:42:02,865 --> 00:42:06,294There are a lot of people when youlisten to those podcasts, you're going83400:42:06,295 --> 00:42:12,915to be, you're going to hear commentsfrom people like, um, um, brother Katron.83500:42:13,500 --> 00:42:17,640Who had a story to tell, and he thoughtit important that he tell his story.83600:42:18,060 --> 00:42:20,890It was a good story, and Iencourage you to listen to it.83700:42:21,210 --> 00:42:25,159Um, Brother Nichols, some of youmay not know Brother Nichols.83800:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,610Brother Nichols is yourphotographer, Stephen.83900:42:27,919 --> 00:42:29,570He just goes around doing his thing.84000:42:29,959 --> 00:42:32,119Um, has a very interesting story.84100:42:32,130 --> 00:42:33,760He's been interviewed on the podcast.84200:42:34,180 --> 00:42:35,150Very interesting.84300:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,620Uh, I would encourage you, uh, to listen.84400:42:39,085 --> 00:42:44,605Um, uh, Robin, um, uh, uh, Nickensis the name of the title of his84500:42:44,625 --> 00:42:46,615podcast is symphony of life.84600:42:47,055 --> 00:42:48,205I just like the title.84700:42:48,205 --> 00:42:52,504It's like you've said, um, but I wouldencourage you to listen that there are84800:42:52,504 --> 00:42:57,205leaders among you who are doing stuff,you know, it's not just the people,84900:42:57,414 --> 00:43:01,295you know, with this and the degrees andthis and that there are people you don't85000:43:01,295 --> 00:43:02,785have to have a degree to be a leader.85100:43:03,255 --> 00:43:06,795There are people who are doing stuffevery day, you know, the people who85200:43:06,805 --> 00:43:11,735I, you know, throughout my life, uh,who had the biggest impact are social85300:43:11,735 --> 00:43:16,975workers and teachers who got me to whereI am now, social workers and teachers.85400:43:17,534 --> 00:43:23,225So my point is, there's a lotof wealth and people in St.85500:43:23,225 --> 00:43:25,135Stephen's that we don't even know.85600:43:25,470 --> 00:43:26,080Brother Bernie.85700:43:26,900 --> 00:43:28,140Uh, thank you.85800:43:28,200 --> 00:43:34,130Uh, Brother Bernie Brown, member ofour church, sits on the, uh, the,85900:43:34,140 --> 00:43:39,680the, the Board of Service Arms,attorney, retired, uh, prosecutor, L.86000:43:39,680 --> 00:43:39,770A.86100:43:39,770 --> 00:43:43,449County, um, did two podcasts with us.86200:43:43,760 --> 00:43:44,620Because he had a couple things.86300:43:44,630 --> 00:43:45,620He just wrote a book.86400:43:45,970 --> 00:43:48,210So we did one on the bookthat he had written, then we86500:43:48,210 --> 00:43:49,670just just did one on his life.86600:43:50,500 --> 00:43:56,930Fascinating about the advice he givesgrowing up in South Central LA, UCLA, you86700:43:56,930 --> 00:44:00,060know, Hastings Law School, etc, etc, etc.86800:44:00,420 --> 00:44:04,170Um, but there's a, there'srichness in our stories.86900:44:05,275 --> 00:44:08,595In our stories, uh, andthey're right here among us.87000:44:08,785 --> 00:44:09,615They're right here among us.87100:44:09,615 --> 00:44:14,645So I would encourage you to toplease, um, sign up as a patron and87200:44:14,645 --> 00:44:16,304and and and and check things out.87300:44:17,475 --> 00:44:20,775Let me also say thereis a very special story.87400:44:21,425 --> 00:44:23,724I'm going to put it out there right now.87500:44:23,724 --> 00:44:26,445She's throwing thingsat the at the at the TV.87600:44:26,835 --> 00:44:33,274Uh, there's a very special podcast thatwe just did a week ago, uh, called Lorena.87700:44:34,120 --> 00:44:42,690If you want to know, if you want to knowabout the that special person, my best87800:44:42,690 --> 00:44:45,869friend, listen to it in her own words.87900:44:46,329 --> 00:44:47,799And just think about this.88000:44:47,970 --> 00:44:53,120What if you say, you know, I thought aboutwriting a book, but I don't want to write88100:44:53,130 --> 00:44:55,340a book, but I do want to leave a legacy.88200:44:55,770 --> 00:44:59,460You know, for, I don't know, myfamily, my friends, whatever,88300:44:59,460 --> 00:45:05,480whatever, maybe a podcast, 20 or 30minutes, just say what you think.88400:45:06,499 --> 00:45:10,660Two podcasts that are coming up,two outstanding folks, which is88500:45:10,660 --> 00:45:14,809why we're saving them for last,um, you may wonder about this88600:45:14,809 --> 00:45:17,579young man by the name of Jesse L.88700:45:17,579 --> 00:45:18,199Hammonds.88800:45:18,550 --> 00:45:22,690Nice guy, you know, just sortof floats around helping people,88900:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,420you know, you don't notice himunless you say something to him.89000:45:26,450 --> 00:45:27,250I want you to listen.89100:45:27,780 --> 00:45:29,450I want you to listen to his podcast.89200:45:29,450 --> 00:45:30,700It's coming up in about a week.89300:45:31,395 --> 00:45:31,925Okay.89400:45:32,225 --> 00:45:36,925Um, uh, did you know that heworked for AT& T for 15 years,89500:45:37,295 --> 00:45:40,034which is where his is 25.89600:45:40,035 --> 00:45:40,555Thank you.89700:45:40,805 --> 00:45:43,635Which is where his, histech savviness came about.89800:45:43,755 --> 00:45:46,405Of course, you do know the, therelationship that just I'll do89900:45:46,405 --> 00:45:49,324this real quick because I, I don'twant to hold you got one minute.90000:45:49,325 --> 00:45:54,895After I had asked Roman Collinsand the folks about the masterclass90100:45:54,895 --> 00:45:56,265in the park, uh, masterclass.90200:45:57,255 --> 00:46:00,135Uh, Brother Hammonds, who's inthe same men's Sunday school90300:46:00,155 --> 00:46:02,495class, came up to me and said, Dr.90400:46:02,495 --> 00:46:05,665Choctaw, uh, who's this powho's this math class for?90500:46:06,065 --> 00:46:07,785And I said, it's for everybody.90600:46:07,785 --> 00:46:08,955He said, just for St.90700:46:08,955 --> 00:46:09,265Stephen's?90800:46:09,304 --> 00:46:11,724I said, no, no, no, no,everybody, everybody.90900:46:12,104 --> 00:46:13,794He said, then you should do a podcast.91000:46:14,660 --> 00:46:19,430And I said to him, I know what a podcastis, but I don't know how to do it.91100:46:20,210 --> 00:46:22,500He said to me, I can help you with that.91200:46:24,210 --> 00:46:28,670Fast forward, you know, 12,12 months later, here we are91300:46:29,480 --> 00:46:35,869going to January, uh, 2024.91400:46:36,930 --> 00:46:40,330And, and finally, some of youmay not know this, but I'm going91500:46:40,330 --> 00:46:41,600to put it out there anyway.91600:46:42,065 --> 00:46:48,755Uh, our leader of our church, PastorDockery, has agreed, uh, to, uh, set down91700:46:48,795 --> 00:46:51,345for an interview for a podcast this month.91800:46:51,595 --> 00:46:52,155Mm hmm.91900:46:52,305 --> 00:46:53,805So that will also be coming up.92000:46:54,704 --> 00:46:58,595I don't know why all thesethings happened, but clearly92100:46:58,634 --> 00:47:00,224there's somebody in charge.92200:47:00,744 --> 00:47:01,304It's not me.92300:47:02,325 --> 00:47:07,095I mean, it's not Jesse, even thoughJesse is chief production officer,92400:47:11,865 --> 00:47:12,775but it's not him.92500:47:12,845 --> 00:47:13,495It's not him.92600:47:13,935 --> 00:47:16,564But anyway, anyway, just sortof keep us in your prayers.92700:47:16,765 --> 00:47:17,605Next slide, please.92800:47:18,175 --> 00:47:22,055So, finally, be the change thatyou want to see in the world.92900:47:22,255 --> 00:47:25,335If the world is not what you wantto be, want it to be, change it.93000:47:25,925 --> 00:47:27,585Don't sit down waiting for somebody else.93100:47:27,785 --> 00:47:28,255You do it.93200:47:28,805 --> 00:47:30,105Because that's what leaders do.93300:47:30,325 --> 00:47:30,865Thank you.93400:47:31,315 --> 00:47:32,095Have a great day.93500:47:34,445 --> 00:47:35,585Are there any questions?93600:47:38,075 --> 00:47:41,075They always taught meto count to 10 seconds.93700:47:42,945 --> 00:47:43,815Okay.93800:47:44,044 --> 00:47:46,044Well, I have one, Dr.93900:47:46,044 --> 00:47:46,304Chakta.94000:47:47,055 --> 00:47:48,075Oh, yes, sir.94100:47:48,165 --> 00:47:49,075Roman Nickens.94200:47:49,295 --> 00:47:50,145How are you, sir?94300:47:50,165 --> 00:47:51,135How is everyone?94400:47:51,475 --> 00:47:52,275I am well.94500:47:53,545 --> 00:47:58,214You may have covered this in pastsessions or I am driving and I94600:47:58,255 --> 00:47:59,785stepped out of the car for a moment.94700:48:00,325 --> 00:48:03,375However, um, and if youcovered it, please forgive me.94800:48:03,455 --> 00:48:04,585I would like to know.94900:48:04,925 --> 00:48:06,475Because you said Dr.95000:48:06,475 --> 00:48:09,934Dockery and you're going to interviewhim so forth and brother Hammonds.95100:48:09,935 --> 00:48:11,155You just went on mute.95200:48:12,075 --> 00:48:12,955Hit your spacebar.95300:48:12,995 --> 00:48:13,605Oh, okay.95400:48:13,704 --> 00:48:14,235There you go.95500:48:14,744 --> 00:48:17,985When will someone have the opportunityto interview you for your story?95600:48:19,214 --> 00:48:24,198No, no, no, no, no one's interviewed me.95700:48:24,198 --> 00:48:29,375I, I, no, I, I, but I have told my story.95800:48:29,635 --> 00:48:30,845Uh, in a podcast.95900:48:30,885 --> 00:48:32,995And the name of the podcast is Amanda.96000:48:33,305 --> 00:48:33,565Yeah.96100:48:33,875 --> 00:48:33,995Okay.96200:48:34,405 --> 00:48:35,504Fair enough.96300:48:35,505 --> 00:48:37,145In those 35 that I mentioned.96400:48:37,315 --> 00:48:39,805And this was a podcastI did for my mother.96500:48:41,084 --> 00:48:41,354Splendid.96600:48:41,355 --> 00:48:43,214And like I said, I may have missed it.96700:48:43,244 --> 00:48:44,315Thank you so much for that.96800:48:44,624 --> 00:48:45,335I will review that.96900:48:46,135 --> 00:48:50,085I might say, I know thatyou're one of our subscribers.97000:48:50,385 --> 00:48:53,465Uh, you, you, you can goand just pull that one down.97100:48:53,825 --> 00:48:55,015But it's okay.97200:48:55,535 --> 00:48:57,085It's one of one of my favorites.97300:48:58,605 --> 00:48:58,995Okay.97400:48:59,035 --> 00:48:59,535Splendid.97500:48:59,765 --> 00:49:00,815Thank you so much, sir.97600:49:01,235 --> 00:49:02,735No, thank you for the questions.97700:49:02,735 --> 00:49:04,605That was it for me.97800:49:05,725 --> 00:49:06,195Okay.97900:49:06,665 --> 00:49:07,555Any other questions?98000:49:08,345 --> 00:49:14,094If not, then all of you have a terrific,terrific Saturday and have a wonderful98100:49:14,105 --> 00:49:16,314Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.98200:49:16,494 --> 00:49:17,124God bless.98300:49:18,075 --> 00:49:18,595God bless.98400:49:19,695 --> 00:49:22,325Thank you for listening to thisepisode of the Healthy, Wealthy,98500:49:22,325 --> 00:49:24,405and Wise podcast with Dr.98600:49:24,405 --> 00:49:25,035William T.98700:49:25,035 --> 00:49:27,345Choctaw, MD, JD.98800:49:27,635 --> 00:49:31,144Be sure to check out other greatepisodes covering areas of health,98900:49:31,365 --> 00:49:35,714wealth, and wisdom at thwwp.99000:49:35,714 --> 00:49:40,095com, and while you're there, be sure tocheck out the books, blogs, and other99100:49:40,095 --> 00:49:44,485literature in your preferred format,and don't forget to leave a review,99200:49:44,504 --> 00:49:47,835subscribe, share, and support the podcast.99300:49:48,124 --> 00:49:48,384That's it.99400:49:48,575 --> 00:49:50,525That t h w w p.99500:49:50,965 --> 00:49:51,575com.99600:49:51,905 --> 00:49:55,775You've been listening to the healthy,wealthy, and wise podcast with Dr.99700:49:55,775 --> 00:49:56,315William T.99800:49:56,315 --> 00:50:00,119Choctaw, MD, JD.