Navigating Life’s Crescendo with Rudy Chavarria Wisdom

100:00:00,090 --> 00:00:01,340Dr. William T. Choctaw: My birthday.200:00:01,910 --> 00:00:06,980Oh, and so it's always been my favoriteholiday, obviously, for the year.300:00:07,420 --> 00:00:07,629Absolutely.400:00:08,010 --> 00:00:13,110I have two sons between us, two on eachside, two on my side and two on her side.500:00:13,480 --> 00:00:18,599And on my side my youngest son withhis three kids, who are all boys,600:00:19,199 --> 00:00:23,160came up a few days before Christmasand spent some time with us.700:00:23,565 --> 00:00:29,235And then this past week on her side ourson and, and daughter in law and two kids800:00:29,235 --> 00:00:31,585came and spent the whole week with us.900:00:32,105 --> 00:00:33,815And they just left yesterday.1000:00:34,595 --> 00:00:40,385So we, we, we've sort of had a whirlwindtype of period of time to say the least.1100:00:41,975 --> 00:00:46,895Well, listen, I am very grateful andappreciative of you taking out of1200:00:46,905 --> 00:00:51,125your busy schedule to spend a coupleof times with us and my hope is1300:00:51,375 --> 00:00:53,265that we can do this more than once.1400:00:53,765 --> 00:00:58,105I just think that this is animportant title in terms of the work1500:00:58,105 --> 00:01:02,745that you do and the work that youdo with, with, with young people.1600:01:04,225 --> 00:01:08,765So what, what I'll do, I'll just sortof, I'll throw out some general questions1700:01:08,765 --> 00:01:13,535that, that we ask, and then we'll go intothe formal, into the formal interview.1800:01:13,905 --> 00:01:17,735I used to start off with just sort ofasking the interviewee to talk about1900:01:17,735 --> 00:01:21,515themselves, you know, whatever youwant to tell about your background,2000:01:21,555 --> 00:01:23,125I'll leave that completely up to you.2100:01:23,615 --> 00:01:23,795Okay.2200:01:24,425 --> 00:01:29,975Then I'll have you tell me about what youdo, you know, what what college mentors2300:01:29,975 --> 00:01:33,085are and what, what does that mean exactly?2400:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,400And then usually, I usually endup with the, on the other side2500:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,340about what, what lessons learned.2600:01:39,410 --> 00:01:43,110What, what have you learned overthese years of doing what you do?2700:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,280And then if you have any advicethat you would give to others, and2800:01:47,510 --> 00:01:52,075those are usually the Three or fourdifferent questions that I sort of2900:01:52,085 --> 00:01:53,915structure all the interviews around.3000:01:54,275 --> 00:01:57,435But we, but there, there'sno set way to do this.3100:01:57,475 --> 00:01:59,095We can do it the way you want.3200:01:59,485 --> 00:02:05,115And I think that free flow perinterviewee is what adds to the richness3300:02:05,115 --> 00:02:07,015of these types of interreactions.3400:02:07,645 --> 00:02:07,815So3500:02:07,815 --> 00:02:09,266Rudy: does that make sense?3600:02:09,266 --> 00:02:09,740Absolutely.3700:02:09,740 --> 00:02:10,213Absolutely.3800:02:10,213 --> 00:02:15,051If I can, if I can preface this bysaying if the dog starts to yap or3900:02:15,051 --> 00:02:16,741something and I have to excuse myself.4000:02:17,461 --> 00:02:20,141Just for a second, becauseour son is still asleep.4100:02:20,231 --> 00:02:22,441I already woke him and toldhim I was doing an interview.4200:02:23,031 --> 00:02:24,251I already took the dog out.4300:02:25,001 --> 00:02:29,501Sorry, now that fed him to let you know,4400:02:30,191 --> 00:02:33,231Dr. William T. Choctaw: butwe basically go with the flow.4500:02:33,231 --> 00:02:39,301I have a very good chief productionofficer named Jesse Hammons, and4600:02:39,301 --> 00:02:42,741he can get rid of any sound thatwe don't want him to interview.4700:02:42,741 --> 00:02:44,431So it's not a problem.4800:02:44,971 --> 00:02:45,421Okay.4900:02:46,251 --> 00:02:50,041Welcome ladies and gentlemen, again, tothe Health and Wealth and Wise podcast.5000:02:50,071 --> 00:02:51,631We're absolutely delighted.5100:02:52,001 --> 00:02:57,151Absolutely delighted to have avery special guest with us Mr.5200:02:57,151 --> 00:03:02,081Rudy Chavarria and he's going to talkabout, he's going to talk about some5300:03:02,081 --> 00:03:06,111exciting things that he's doing thatquite honestly, I had never heard of,5400:03:06,381 --> 00:03:09,746you know, as a formal type of activity.5500:03:09,746 --> 00:03:12,461And so I'm learningalong with our audience.5600:03:12,471 --> 00:03:13,671So welcome, Rudy.5700:03:14,046 --> 00:03:14,586Rudy: Thank you.5800:03:14,616 --> 00:03:15,456It's a pleasure to be here.5900:03:15,456 --> 00:03:18,006It's an honor to to bein your presence, Dr.6000:03:18,396 --> 00:03:18,996Choctaw.6100:03:19,516 --> 00:03:25,316For all the viewers and listeners to talkabout my background I actually met Dr.6200:03:25,316 --> 00:03:28,046Choctaw back in 1985.6300:03:28,376 --> 00:03:33,626I would just graduate as a high schoolsenior, and I was working with peer6400:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,076counseling at Walnut High School.6500:03:36,256 --> 00:03:44,096I actually started it there, and I, we gotinvited by public TV at the local Walnut6600:03:44,096 --> 00:03:49,046TV station, and it was our principal,Donald, Donald Skraba, who asked me6700:03:49,426 --> 00:03:55,496if I wanted to participate in, in thisdiscussion about drugs and teens and such,6800:03:55,726 --> 00:04:01,636and that's when I first and you, you hadsuch a profound impact on me back then in6900:04:01,636 --> 00:04:10,21685 and that when I saw you at this eventin November, I immediately recognized you7000:04:10,686 --> 00:04:16,306because you just made such an impact onmy life in very little time I had known7100:04:16,316 --> 00:04:20,266you and then, you know, driving aroundlocally and seeing your doctor's office7200:04:20,266 --> 00:04:24,866with your name, I just always knew youand I just always, yeah, it was brilliant.7300:04:25,306 --> 00:04:25,656So.7400:04:26,191 --> 00:04:30,931To start way back I I always wanted tobe in the entertainment industry, but7500:04:30,931 --> 00:04:34,491I did not have a, have a direction.7600:04:35,711 --> 00:04:42,261And so, and I'd always been apeople person and that's why and I'd7700:04:42,261 --> 00:04:43,621always been in student government.7800:04:44,611 --> 00:04:48,711And when I graduated, well, athigh school, I went to Mount7900:04:48,711 --> 00:04:52,691San Antonio college, I hadno idea what I was going for.8000:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,061I just wanted to be in the business.8100:04:54,061 --> 00:04:57,031I was in a band, we were writing songs.8200:04:57,681 --> 00:05:00,961And I, I just dropped out of Mt.8300:05:00,961 --> 00:05:03,701SAC because I had no direction.8400:05:03,711 --> 00:05:07,651I had no no no guidance.8500:05:08,626 --> 00:05:11,206I didn't even know who to go toand the counselors that I spoke to8600:05:11,206 --> 00:05:14,436at the time just were like, okay,this is, what do you want to do?8700:05:14,636 --> 00:05:16,186Well, I'm thinking about this, this.8800:05:16,206 --> 00:05:18,536All right, well, you need totake these general ed courses.8900:05:18,586 --> 00:05:22,666This is what you do for the semester andcome back and visit us during the summer.9000:05:22,676 --> 00:05:25,646It was more, you know, like, andfrankly, it's still that way.9100:05:25,916 --> 00:05:26,346Colors.9200:05:28,831 --> 00:05:33,821And so from there, I kind of floundereda bit, went from job to job, and it was9300:05:33,821 --> 00:05:41,951in 1987 that a friend of mine she wasa student of psychology at UCLA and she9400:05:41,951 --> 00:05:44,041was working a summer job at Home Depot.9500:05:45,091 --> 00:05:47,811She said to me, you know, Rudy, if youwant to be in the entertainment industry,9600:05:47,811 --> 00:05:49,461what are you doing working at Home Depot?9700:05:50,051 --> 00:05:52,841And I was just like, oh myGod, yeah, what am I doing?9800:05:52,851 --> 00:05:55,941So I quit Home Depot, got ajob at Chili's to bust some.9900:05:56,476 --> 00:05:57,856Tables become a food service.10000:05:57,866 --> 00:06:01,266So during the day I could golook for work in the industry.10100:06:02,056 --> 00:06:07,466And and then I ended up gettinga job at A& M records and it10200:06:07,946 --> 00:06:09,066pretty much started there.10300:06:09,876 --> 00:06:13,926And then I went to a schoolcalled Musicians Institute in10400:06:13,926 --> 00:06:18,916Hollywood, the VIT program toteach vocals and learn how to sing.10500:06:19,506 --> 00:06:23,796And it was there that I got intointernships there through MI10600:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,316for Warren Chapel publishing.10700:06:26,411 --> 00:06:32,751GIant Records, Warner Brother Records, andthen I started my own independent record10800:06:32,751 --> 00:06:37,831company, and then my independent recordcompany, I was making money, working with10900:06:37,831 --> 00:06:43,341a bunch of ska punk bands out of OrangeCounty, and I ended up shutting that down,11000:06:43,341 --> 00:06:50,951but in the process, and this was during95, 93, 93 to 95, I shut it down and I11100:06:50,951 --> 00:06:55,371got a lot of people starting to ask me ifI would market their materials because,11200:06:55,421 --> 00:06:59,691or their product, because they saw myflyers everywhere, stickers, posters.11300:07:00,021 --> 00:07:03,991And this is before the internet,and email was just starting.11400:07:05,111 --> 00:07:05,141So11500:07:05,181 --> 00:07:06,891Dr. William T. Choctaw: youstarted your own business, you11600:07:06,891 --> 00:07:10,131went from working at Home Depot tostarting your own record company.11700:07:10,821 --> 00:07:11,451Yes.11800:07:14,611 --> 00:07:19,901Rudy: And this is when, to, whatstarted me was my confidence.11900:07:20,996 --> 00:07:26,566What started me, or started my confidencewas the fact that I had done internships.12000:07:27,386 --> 00:07:29,896And I tell all college studentsand all high school students,12100:07:29,896 --> 00:07:33,186if you want to get involved insomething, start an internship.12200:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,266Start shadowing somebody immediately,whether you want to be a doctor12300:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,466or you want to go work with NASA.12400:07:38,616 --> 00:07:42,936As a matter of fact, over the weekendI was talking to a girl who's part12500:07:42,936 --> 00:07:47,726of the family and told her shewants to be an aerospace engineer.12600:07:48,686 --> 00:07:52,556And I said, well, you need toget involved now for two reasons.12700:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,246One, you need to start networking,which is really important.12800:07:56,646 --> 00:07:59,776And number two, you need to findout of whether or not this is12900:07:59,786 --> 00:08:03,576really what you like and reallywhat you think it is all about.13000:08:03,626 --> 00:08:07,506Because a lot of what I do now,counseling with college students.13100:08:09,256 --> 00:08:13,686They realize this isn't what I wantto do, but they're so far in to13200:08:13,686 --> 00:08:18,246their education that they have nochoice but to keep going with it.13300:08:18,686 --> 00:08:23,386And in some cases, a lot of parentstell their children, if you don't13400:08:23,396 --> 00:08:26,056do this, if you don't become thatdoctor, if you don't become that13500:08:26,056 --> 00:08:30,356lawyer, we're not paying for youreducation, which is, which is horrible.13600:08:31,146 --> 00:08:33,856So again, internships.13700:08:34,696 --> 00:08:38,986At any age or shadowing somebodyat any age, high school, definitely13800:08:38,986 --> 00:08:45,786college is is something that I feelreally helps people decide what13900:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,116they want to do with their career.14000:08:47,366 --> 00:08:51,316And this is where I see, Isee as a counselor now that14100:08:51,316 --> 00:08:53,256it funnels down into life.14200:08:55,406 --> 00:08:56,966And what I mean by that is.14300:08:58,556 --> 00:09:02,556If you're going to do something for therest of your life and you're miserable, it14400:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,886will funnel down into your personal life.14500:09:04,946 --> 00:09:06,316It just will.14600:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,876If, because you're not happy, so you lookfor happiness somewhere else, whether you14700:09:09,886 --> 00:09:13,236start to have infidelity in your marriage.14800:09:13,886 --> 00:09:20,256Or you're just a verbally or physicallyabusive husband or father, or you14900:09:20,256 --> 00:09:23,026start drinking alcohol or drugs.15000:09:24,126 --> 00:09:25,306You're just unhappy.15100:09:26,116 --> 00:09:30,106So I try to tell students now, hey,look, you need to do what's going to15200:09:30,116 --> 00:09:33,876make you happy, or this is the pathyou are most likely going to go to.15300:09:34,606 --> 00:09:36,706And even, you know, ofcourse, you know, depression,15400:09:36,746 --> 00:09:36,976Dr. William T. Choctaw: so.15500:09:37,556 --> 00:09:40,606Well, when I was growing up, I, Igrew up in Nashville, Tennessee,15600:09:40,626 --> 00:09:43,826and, and I was just thinking aboutwhat you said about the importance of15700:09:43,826 --> 00:09:47,146internship, and, and I never reallythought about it until you just said it.15800:09:47,841 --> 00:09:53,261But I remember, at least in Nashville,local colleges would have, like,15900:09:53,261 --> 00:09:57,371summer programs where they wouldinvite high school students who were16000:09:57,381 --> 00:10:01,101interested in certain areas to do,I don't know, three or four weeks16100:10:01,121 --> 00:10:03,471or a month in those summer programs.16200:10:03,631 --> 00:10:07,701Now, I'm sure it was a recruitmentprocess for them, but I think, going16300:10:07,701 --> 00:10:12,416by what you said, For the student, forus, it was invaluable because it did16400:10:12,416 --> 00:10:16,606give us an idea about what it mightbe like on the other side of that16500:10:16,606 --> 00:10:18,776fence and, and, and give you ideas.16600:10:18,776 --> 00:10:20,156Is this really what you wanted?16700:10:20,176 --> 00:10:21,436Don't, what's not what you want?16800:10:21,436 --> 00:10:22,166And that sort of thing.16900:10:22,166 --> 00:10:26,006I think that's next is,is what I'm trying to say.17000:10:26,296 --> 00:10:28,926And I think a lot of usdon't even think about that.17100:10:30,036 --> 00:10:30,506Rudy: Yeah.17200:10:30,596 --> 00:10:32,926Kind of a jettison a bit.17300:10:33,356 --> 00:10:34,906I've run into so many different.17400:10:36,126 --> 00:10:41,776Doctors, lawyers in my profession, andand throughout life that they have told me17500:10:42,966 --> 00:10:47,876that really good doctors and really goodlawyers have told me, and you can tell17600:10:47,876 --> 00:10:52,936what I mean because you can tell they justlove what they do, and I'm staying with17700:10:52,946 --> 00:10:58,336doctors and lawyers as a topic subjectright now, but those really good ones,17800:10:58,396 --> 00:11:02,886after I explain what I'm telling you andyour audience, they themselves have said.17900:11:03,221 --> 00:11:07,501Yeah, I've run into a lot of doctorsand a lot of other lawyers that they18000:11:07,581 --> 00:11:13,161absolutely hate what they do, but theydo it because they're so involved and18100:11:13,171 --> 00:11:19,471so in debt and they have a lifestyle andit's just like, my gosh, I had no idea.18200:11:19,471 --> 00:11:24,441And then I think to myself, as a,as, as doctors who are surgeons18300:11:24,441 --> 00:11:27,771and, and you're, you're performingthese services on people who.18400:11:28,691 --> 00:11:32,901who really need your help, youknow, and you hate what you do.18500:11:32,911 --> 00:11:34,761I mean, yes, many of18600:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,871Dr. William T. Choctaw: them feel trappedgoing back to your previous work, whether18700:11:37,871 --> 00:11:43,091it's by mom or dad, or whatever thecircumstances are, and they can't get out.18800:11:43,291 --> 00:11:46,911You know, I, I, I was in medicalschool, yeah, with, with students18900:11:46,911 --> 00:11:48,251who wanted to be musicians.19000:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,446They said, I don't want to come to medical19100:11:50,446 --> 00:11:50,906Rudy: school.19200:11:50,906 --> 00:11:53,146I19300:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,666Dr. William T. Choctaw: don't want to playin a band, I want to play in a symphony.19400:11:56,436 --> 00:12:01,716And I didn't appreciate itas much then as I do now.19500:12:02,056 --> 00:12:05,916To your point, that once you'restuck as an adult, or feel stuck19600:12:05,956 --> 00:12:09,906as an adult, you are miserable,and not only are you miserable, you19700:12:09,906 --> 00:12:11,536make everybody around you miserable.19800:12:12,191 --> 00:12:16,831Rudy: Yes, that that negative energyspreads like wildfire to the point to19900:12:17,001 --> 00:12:24,911to if I if I may even militarily, theytell you, or you ask any drill sergeant,20000:12:25,231 --> 00:12:29,151they'll tell you if there's a signof fear, any one of their soldiers.20100:12:30,101 --> 00:12:33,911Immediately they take them out of combatand remove them because that stuff20200:12:34,311 --> 00:12:39,111spreads quickly to all of the soldiersand then the machine doesn't work anymore.20300:12:39,471 --> 00:12:40,341It just starts.20400:12:40,401 --> 00:12:40,851Yeah.20500:12:40,911 --> 00:12:43,181And so, but that's witheverything in life.20600:12:43,181 --> 00:12:46,071So yeah, I mean, yeah.20700:12:46,461 --> 00:12:49,201So that just that negativeenergy, that bad energy20800:12:50,641 --> 00:12:52,391Dr. William T. Choctaw: let me askyou another question before you go on.20900:12:52,421 --> 00:12:55,186I have, and this is just meand you can help me with this.21000:12:55,856 --> 00:13:00,966All of my life I was, I was toldby my mother quite young, the21100:13:00,966 --> 00:13:02,446importance of going to medical school.21200:13:02,456 --> 00:13:04,676So I've always thought medical school.21300:13:05,006 --> 00:13:10,956But in general, I felt that counselors,and this is just me, were not21400:13:10,966 --> 00:13:17,196always as supportive of studentsto do what the student wants to do.21500:13:17,206 --> 00:13:19,576I'm talking about studentswho want to go to college.21600:13:19,911 --> 00:13:23,471Or go to medical school or law school, andthey said, Well, I don't know, you should21700:13:23,471 --> 00:13:25,701probably think about blah, blah, blah.21800:13:25,991 --> 00:13:28,771And, and, and I don't knowwhether it's just, just my own21900:13:28,801 --> 00:13:30,681prejudice, which may be true.22000:13:31,031 --> 00:13:35,381But I just never felt, or I felt thatthey were not nearly as helpful as they22100:13:35,391 --> 00:13:38,171should be to get students into college.22200:13:38,201 --> 00:13:40,601Because I have this thing aboutgetting people into college.22300:13:40,911 --> 00:13:44,961And I, I, I felt, and you can correctme here, that that's particularly22400:13:44,961 --> 00:13:46,041true with minority students.22500:13:46,831 --> 00:13:47,681Rudy: Absolutely.22600:13:47,931 --> 00:13:48,651Absolutely.22700:13:48,961 --> 00:13:57,421And so I'm 57 years old and you and I kindof are within the same generation of, you22800:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,751know, there's no Archie Bunkers anymore.22900:14:00,091 --> 00:14:01,791You know, it's not politically correct.23000:14:02,291 --> 00:14:06,041There's, there's no more of, ofthere's no more Fred Sanford's.23100:14:07,811 --> 00:14:08,221Yeah.23200:14:08,291 --> 00:14:12,561And for those of those of you who are ayounger audience, these are, these are23300:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,811characters in TV shows that were very.23400:14:15,771 --> 00:14:21,601They would push the limit as far as,you know, the LGBT, the, the race?23500:14:21,931 --> 00:14:22,081Yes.23600:14:22,201 --> 00:14:22,891I mean, oh boy.23700:14:22,891 --> 00:14:27,921You know, they just would beup in arms in today's 2024.23800:14:28,251 --> 00:14:32,331But in 19 72, 19 74, it was just the norm.23900:14:32,741 --> 00:14:32,801Yeah.24000:14:32,801 --> 00:14:36,641And so I wanna preface this byanswer, by by saying that we come24100:14:36,641 --> 00:14:39,641from that generation where it'snot that it was accepted, it was24200:14:39,641 --> 00:14:41,471just like, ah, it is what it is.24300:14:41,926 --> 00:14:45,826You know, we were moving forward andas a minority myself, my mother's24400:14:45,906 --> 00:14:51,806Native American Spaniard and my dadis Mexican and my wife is full blooded24500:14:51,806 --> 00:14:54,116Japanese because her mom is Japanese.24600:14:55,116 --> 00:14:59,186Her parents actually were in theManzanar camp during World War II.24700:14:59,686 --> 00:15:00,031Yeah.24800:15:00,031 --> 00:15:02,306And her aunt was born in Manzanar.24900:15:03,196 --> 00:15:07,226She just turned, she just turned 80and and then her dad is from Mexico.25000:15:07,226 --> 00:15:09,006So yeah, definitely a lot of prejudice.25100:15:10,041 --> 00:15:17,781And yes, counselors, including back then,and I'd have to say even now there is25200:15:17,801 --> 00:15:20,131prejudice and it's not so much anymore.25300:15:20,151 --> 00:15:24,281I think of course, I'm not 19 to 23anymore and I don't talk to counselors.25400:15:24,976 --> 00:15:30,266But from what I see everything's changedin the generation now which I love you25500:15:30,266 --> 00:15:36,086know, you can talk to a 15, 16 yearold, or 18 year old, and they'll just be25600:15:36,086 --> 00:15:42,666like, eh, LGBT, no big deal, as opposedto when I was 15, 16, you know, ooh,25700:15:42,686 --> 00:15:47,936that guy, ooh, that girl, or, but nowthis generation is like, eh, whatever,25800:15:47,936 --> 00:15:52,086who's, who's winning the game, or hey,well, did you see that, that TikTok25900:15:52,086 --> 00:15:56,906video, and nobody Kind of cares anymorebecause it's being so much more accepted26000:15:57,506 --> 00:16:03,076and and God bless that definitely Godbless it and to take it a step further26100:16:03,686 --> 00:16:09,236before I talk about the prejudice withcounselors to take it a step further.26200:16:09,496 --> 00:16:13,456One of the main reasons whyI was so compelled to start26300:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,876college with mentor was.26400:16:16,996 --> 00:16:22,156You know, you get all that negativeenergy and then you compounded from26500:16:22,326 --> 00:16:26,186negative from from counselors peers.26600:16:26,496 --> 00:16:26,786Yes.26700:16:27,101 --> 00:16:32,981Society, and that if you are aminority you get it from your friends.26800:16:33,951 --> 00:16:39,441Yeah, and, and it's what's interestingand even the younger people who are26900:16:39,671 --> 00:16:43,721viewing this, you know what we're talkingabout because you can be in sixth grade.27000:16:44,151 --> 00:16:47,561And you can just tell people don'tlike you when you walk into a room and27100:16:47,561 --> 00:16:49,201you've never even said anything to them.27200:16:50,221 --> 00:16:53,271And it's the same thing as whenyou're 40 years old and you walk27300:16:53,271 --> 00:16:57,381into an executive meeting and youcan still feel that nobody likes you.27400:16:58,311 --> 00:17:00,741So I guess what I'm sayingis get used to it, guys.27500:17:02,961 --> 00:17:08,601It's not going away, but here's,here's my, my punchline is all of27600:17:08,601 --> 00:17:14,701that energy that's bad and prejudicecan really push a human being to27700:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,911the point where you're suicidal.27800:17:18,011 --> 00:17:21,511And I've had a few friends of mine whohave been, who have killed themselves.27900:17:22,181 --> 00:17:26,381One who was 17, one who was 22,another one who was 54, and these28000:17:26,381 --> 00:17:28,831were all close to me people.28100:17:29,291 --> 00:17:33,311And the common denominator in everyone of them was there was something28200:17:33,311 --> 00:17:37,521that they felt that tore apart theirself confidence, their self confidence,28300:17:37,521 --> 00:17:42,481then trickled down to their selfworth and their reason for living.28400:17:44,661 --> 00:17:45,451And that was it.28500:17:45,641 --> 00:17:49,301And once you cross that linementally, that, that's it.28600:17:49,941 --> 00:17:56,551Then it becomes painful, and the painthen turns into anxiety, and then the28700:17:56,551 --> 00:18:02,091anxiety is, I think, what exacerbatesthe depression towards physically28800:18:02,091 --> 00:18:04,321painful, because you're getting anxious.28900:18:05,461 --> 00:18:10,491And then that's when, when one ofthe people that I know, she was 17,29000:18:10,491 --> 00:18:13,941who said, I just can't stand thepain, and I could never understand29100:18:13,941 --> 00:18:15,021what she was talking about.29200:18:15,646 --> 00:18:20,986But being someone myself who went throughan anxiety period, at that point as29300:18:20,986 --> 00:18:24,846I was going through my anxiety and mypanic attacks, my anxiety attacks, I29400:18:24,846 --> 00:18:26,996knew exactly what she was talking about.29500:18:27,236 --> 00:18:32,236Now I was never suicidal, but Iknew what she was talking about now.29600:18:32,926 --> 00:18:33,736anD so I got it.29700:18:33,876 --> 00:18:34,646I got it.29800:18:34,656 --> 00:18:35,326Totally got it.29900:18:36,161 --> 00:18:40,181Again, to go back to your statementof prejudice from counselors,30000:18:40,861 --> 00:18:43,981especially people you thinkare there to help you, they get30100:18:43,981 --> 00:18:44,011Dr. William T. Choctaw: paid.30200:18:44,671 --> 00:18:49,551So it ends up being a double whammy, youknow, you think they're there to help you.30300:18:49,551 --> 00:18:52,571And so you tend to put moreemphasis on what they say.30400:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,691But either because of theirlimitation, mentally, psychologically,30500:18:57,401 --> 00:18:59,291or whatever, Or their jealousy.30600:19:00,101 --> 00:19:01,011Or jealousy.30700:19:01,011 --> 00:19:01,711You30800:19:01,711 --> 00:19:05,171Rudy: can feel when someone's jealous ofyou, even when they're older than you.30900:19:05,181 --> 00:19:06,951You just feel like, wow, really?31000:19:07,631 --> 00:19:12,321I looked up to you and now you're And Iwent through that when I was at school31100:19:12,321 --> 00:19:17,151at Musicians Institute because peoplewere telling me I was really good.31200:19:17,561 --> 00:19:21,921And I, and it started to get aroundin school, of course, this was back31300:19:21,921 --> 00:19:27,181then and there were like two or threedifferent teachers that I could just,31400:19:27,181 --> 00:19:30,261they would look at me and I couldjust feel that they didn't want me to31500:19:30,261 --> 00:19:32,821succeed because they weren't succeeding.31600:19:33,461 --> 00:19:38,451And whether it's Musicians Institute,UCLA, USC Cal State Fullerton, Harvard,31700:19:38,621 --> 00:19:42,121it didn't matter because there willalways be those types of people.31800:19:42,121 --> 00:19:43,681So it's, it's important.31900:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,786To get back to your statement on that.32000:19:45,786 --> 00:19:46,886Definitely prejudice.32100:19:46,946 --> 00:19:47,666Definitely.32200:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,116And the people that I talkedthat I've brought up who are32300:19:50,126 --> 00:19:52,276suicidal, they weren't in mind.32400:19:52,296 --> 00:19:53,516They weren't just minority.32500:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,296Some of them were.32600:19:55,781 --> 00:19:59,951Jewish Christian white,black African American.32700:20:01,051 --> 00:20:06,261So it, it goes beyond, it transcendscolor, transcends all of that.32800:20:06,681 --> 00:20:13,541And I love to, to, to think that like,I play a trick with when I do go guest32900:20:13,571 --> 00:20:17,741speak, I tell all the students, okay,I want all of you to close your eyes.33000:20:17,871 --> 00:20:23,281And when we, when I talked to them about,but what we're talking about, and so33100:20:23,281 --> 00:20:24,801they all close their eyes and I say.33200:20:25,821 --> 00:20:32,761I want you to tell me what color am I andI'll say, Oh, then I'll break into like,33300:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,171Hey, you say, you know, and blah, blah.33400:20:36,181 --> 00:20:40,521And then they start to smile andI'll say, and then I'll start to say.33500:20:40,921 --> 00:20:44,781Now, if everybody would please turnto page forty five, and I'd like you33600:20:44,811 --> 00:20:50,071all to start reading we're gonna startwith this chapter, and let's proceed.33700:20:50,781 --> 00:20:54,931And then they smile, and then I'll say,yeah, brother, you know what I'm saying?33800:20:55,201 --> 00:20:58,451And then they smile, and thenI say, now open your eyes.33900:20:58,911 --> 00:21:01,041And they look at me and they'rejust like, and they all kind of34000:21:01,351 --> 00:21:06,021laugh and it's like, so it reallyis just your perception of yourself.34100:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,121You can be whoever you want to be.34200:21:09,881 --> 00:21:10,321Yes.34300:21:10,321 --> 00:21:14,781And I even tell people that aremusicians to take an, or who are34400:21:14,801 --> 00:21:21,041entrepreneurs or business people,marketers, or frankly, any student take34500:21:21,041 --> 00:21:23,561an acting class, acting one on one.34600:21:23,906 --> 00:21:27,086Because that will give you techniquesto pull yourself out of your34700:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,516shell if you are a shy person.34800:21:29,816 --> 00:21:34,026It will give you techniques that onlyan acting professor can teach you.34900:21:34,576 --> 00:21:38,916And once you turn it on, when they say,okay, read your script, go ahead, do your35000:21:38,916 --> 00:21:41,746monologue, you're like and they say go.35100:21:42,036 --> 00:21:43,686And you learn how to turn it on.35200:21:44,196 --> 00:21:47,846And then you learn how to turn it offand it's important to be successful,35300:21:47,846 --> 00:21:51,376I believe, is to have that capabilityand that ability to do that.35400:21:51,376 --> 00:21:51,946So, yeah,35500:21:52,346 --> 00:21:52,906Dr. William T. Choctaw: it's interesting.35600:21:52,916 --> 00:21:57,476You say that and it's amazing becauseyou're sort of like a mirror to me.35700:21:57,726 --> 00:22:01,946And this is the first time we've talkedabout this and yes, and all of that.35800:22:02,271 --> 00:22:06,191But I have concluded, similar towhat you've already suggested,35900:22:06,651 --> 00:22:09,801that the most important thing foryoung people to get is confidence.36000:22:11,441 --> 00:22:14,031And there are different ways to get thatconfidence, there are also different36100:22:14,031 --> 00:22:17,581ways to lose that confidence, youknow, depending on whether you live36200:22:17,581 --> 00:22:19,421in a toxic environment or whatever.36300:22:20,271 --> 00:22:24,051But interestingly, going back towhat you just reminded me of, I had36400:22:24,051 --> 00:22:28,681an English teacher named GertrudeBritton in my high school in Nashville,36500:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,281Tennessee and my high school wasnot an opposite African American.36600:22:32,751 --> 00:22:38,871Who felt it very important to teachus how to speak, you know, and36700:22:38,871 --> 00:22:43,311that's, oh yeah, she said, you willnot go out of my classroom, because36800:22:43,341 --> 00:22:44,651we were in the deep south, right?36900:22:44,831 --> 00:22:48,661You will not go out of my classroomwith, with, with this, this37000:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,211southern accent and all that.37100:22:50,211 --> 00:22:54,531So I said, no, and her point was,you have enough points against you.37200:22:54,821 --> 00:22:57,131And we certainly are goingto add that as another.37300:22:57,141 --> 00:23:00,721So her mission In life, forall of her students, was you37400:23:00,721 --> 00:23:02,331would speak proper English.37500:23:02,331 --> 00:23:04,311You would speak good diction.37600:23:04,311 --> 00:23:05,951Blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.37700:23:06,681 --> 00:23:09,071Because that then adds to your confidence.37800:23:09,101 --> 00:23:13,071And she did that by havinga public speaking group.37900:23:13,626 --> 00:23:18,126You know, we used to do orationsin competition to teach us how to38000:23:18,396 --> 00:23:23,016articulate words and sentences andparagraphs to build up our self38100:23:23,016 --> 00:23:23,756Rudy: confidence.38200:23:23,896 --> 00:23:26,476And I couldn't agree with you more.38300:23:26,626 --> 00:23:27,996Speaking is so important.38400:23:29,046 --> 00:23:35,675I tell students I tell, Itell students all the time.38500:23:35,675 --> 00:23:37,772I tell them.38600:23:43,172 --> 00:23:52,082Make sure you read and I also tell themmake sure you understand and build your38700:23:52,082 --> 00:23:57,312vocabulary and, and, you know, to go alongwith what she was doing and I tell them38800:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,352why it's important because it's one thingto be like, yeah, I know what I'm saying.38900:24:00,902 --> 00:24:06,202And then another thing to say, like to beable to say, you know, let's jettison to39000:24:06,202 --> 00:24:10,692the next topic and, and they kind of likelook at me and I'm like, I'm telling you,39100:24:10,692 --> 00:24:15,682you know, if I talk to you in one way,and then I talk to you another way, you're39200:24:15,682 --> 00:24:17,352going to look at me completely different.39300:24:17,812 --> 00:24:19,942And I, and so I tell students.39400:24:20,962 --> 00:24:21,152Sorry.39500:24:22,142 --> 00:24:22,712Oh, go ahead.39600:24:22,832 --> 00:24:23,992I'll take a look around.39700:24:25,032 --> 00:24:25,212Okay.39800:24:28,077 --> 00:24:29,107Leave him in the cage, please.39900:24:29,137 --> 00:24:30,247I'll be right there.40000:24:30,847 --> 00:24:31,567Leave him in the cage.40100:24:32,807 --> 00:24:33,067I'm sorry.40200:24:34,097 --> 00:24:39,547So I, so as I was saying, I tell studentsto expand your vocabulary because it's40300:24:39,547 --> 00:24:46,072really important to be able to articulateand know how to Articulate what you're40400:24:46,072 --> 00:24:46,952trying to communicate to people.40500:24:46,952 --> 00:24:49,902The better your vocabulary,the easier it will become.40600:24:51,392 --> 00:24:52,622And the more confident you'll get.40700:24:54,972 --> 00:24:58,052Dr. William T. Choctaw: But when youadvise students, and you work with a lot40800:24:58,052 --> 00:25:04,752of students in different areas collegeand high school, what are some of the most40900:25:04,752 --> 00:25:10,722common issues that you see come up fromthe students that they have to deal with?41000:25:10,732 --> 00:25:14,422That maybe, if they had donesome things before that time,41100:25:14,422 --> 00:25:15,882it would be easier for them.41200:25:17,672 --> 00:25:23,602Rudy: Well, the first thing is like youhad said confidence because I'm working41300:25:23,602 --> 00:25:28,902with a student who's 33 in medical schoolin Arkansas, and I'm working with a41400:25:28,902 --> 00:25:31,972high school student who's in Cincinnati.41500:25:32,272 --> 00:25:35,052She's going to be going toshe actually met I met her41600:25:35,052 --> 00:25:36,512out here about two months ago.41700:25:37,172 --> 00:25:39,172She was looking at differentuniversities to go to.41800:25:42,852 --> 00:25:47,182And it's confidence and certain mentors.41900:25:48,012 --> 00:25:55,772We'll take you so far and I tell that tomy mentors that they have to know when42000:25:55,772 --> 00:25:57,532the student doesn't need them anymore.42100:25:58,382 --> 00:26:03,422And the student will eventually knowwhen I need to move to a new mentor.42200:26:04,422 --> 00:26:09,392And I think that's reallyimportant to be selfless.42300:26:09,672 --> 00:26:09,772Thank you.42400:26:11,437 --> 00:26:15,987As a mentor, to be able tosay, you don't need me anymore.42500:26:16,757 --> 00:26:21,027It's nice to get the money, but to beable to say, you don't need me anymore.42600:26:21,467 --> 00:26:26,347And for a student to be able to realize,I don't need this mentor anymore.42700:26:26,767 --> 00:26:29,037So again, it would be confidence.42800:26:29,307 --> 00:26:33,447And whether it's the student inmedical school or the high school42900:26:33,447 --> 00:26:35,857student, there's that certain level of.43000:26:36,362 --> 00:26:40,902Confidence that they need to pushthemselves through to the next level.43100:26:42,722 --> 00:26:46,222And so I, sorry, self esteem.43200:26:47,547 --> 00:26:47,897Dr. William T. Choctaw: Right.43300:26:48,237 --> 00:26:51,697How do you advise students many timeswho are in an environment where maybe43400:26:51,697 --> 00:26:56,137they may be the first one in theirfamily to go to college, potentially43500:26:56,137 --> 00:27:01,177go to college, but yet there's a lot ofnegative energy around them either say43600:27:01,187 --> 00:27:05,767mom or dad may not have gone to collegeand may or may not be as supportive as43700:27:05,767 --> 00:27:09,682they should be certainly their friendshave nodded their sort of Teasing43800:27:09,682 --> 00:27:12,802them a lot or you think you're betterthan us, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.43900:27:13,282 --> 00:27:18,052How do you, how do you help themto get out of that, that level44000:27:18,102 --> 00:27:19,432and get to that next level?44100:27:20,132 --> 00:27:26,082Rudy: Yes you have toshow them the better life.44200:27:26,742 --> 00:27:27,172Okay.44300:27:27,772 --> 00:27:31,232You have to show them so theycan see and they can hear it.44400:27:32,192 --> 00:27:35,432And when I first started the company,I met with a couple of people up in44500:27:35,672 --> 00:27:39,042Palo Alto, California, good friendsof mine helping me with the company.44600:27:40,087 --> 00:27:43,647And one of them brought theirtheir son, 17 year old, who was a44700:27:43,647 --> 00:27:45,867student of Berkeley Chinese kid.44800:27:46,617 --> 00:27:52,547And as myself, his dad, and my businesspartner were talking at dinner, he44900:27:52,547 --> 00:27:57,637was sitting there quiet in the table,and he had one thing to say to me.45000:27:57,637 --> 00:27:59,607He said, how do you plan on mentoring us?45100:28:00,967 --> 00:28:04,687And this kind of goes along with myanswer to the question you're asking.45200:28:05,252 --> 00:28:10,372I, I, I leaned in towards him andI said, stories, I said, because45300:28:10,372 --> 00:28:14,702if I sit here and I tell you, youneed to do this, you should consider45400:28:14,702 --> 00:28:16,792this, you need to think about this.45500:28:17,337 --> 00:28:18,997It's going to go right over your head.45600:28:19,637 --> 00:28:21,907You're going to think, who'sthis dude trying to tell me?45700:28:22,727 --> 00:28:25,657I go, the guy, and you know, who'sthis dude trying to tell me about the45800:28:25,657 --> 00:28:29,057future or my future when he probablydoesn't even have a Snapchat account.45900:28:29,447 --> 00:28:31,587He probably doesn't have aTikTok account and he's going46000:28:31,587 --> 00:28:33,177to tell me about the future.46100:28:34,127 --> 00:28:38,157And he smiled and I said, but ifI tell you a story, I said like46200:28:38,157 --> 00:28:41,007the stories that your dad justshared with me, I go, did you know46300:28:41,007 --> 00:28:42,367your dad went through all of that?46400:28:43,237 --> 00:28:46,207And he looked at his dad and his dadsmiled and he goes, no, I didn't.46500:28:47,002 --> 00:28:48,402I go, that was a story.46600:28:48,742 --> 00:28:50,082I go, what about all the other things?46700:28:50,082 --> 00:28:51,202You're hearing these stories.46800:28:52,012 --> 00:28:53,672I go, your mind is spinning.46900:28:54,272 --> 00:28:58,562I go, if I tell you a story, you know,maybe you should hear, maybe you should,47000:28:59,082 --> 00:29:03,232you know, if I tell you a story aboutsomething I went through, then you're47100:29:03,232 --> 00:29:04,932going to apply it to your own life.47200:29:05,752 --> 00:29:07,822And then you'll start to ask me questions.47300:29:07,922 --> 00:29:09,892I go, that's how I plan on doing it.47400:29:09,952 --> 00:29:11,602Everybody's going to have their own story.47500:29:11,872 --> 00:29:13,482Their own testimony, if you will.47600:29:14,172 --> 00:29:18,192And that is what's going to makeyou feel like, okay, not only can47700:29:18,192 --> 00:29:22,737I trust you, But yeah, now I'm, nowI'm curious, how can you, what do47800:29:22,737 --> 00:29:24,317you think about this situation, Rudy?47900:29:24,807 --> 00:29:26,127And that's where it begins.48000:29:26,137 --> 00:29:31,877So, so so that's one part of it,by telling stories but also for the48100:29:31,877 --> 00:29:36,197person who is trying to escape thenegative energy, whether it's parents,48200:29:36,417 --> 00:29:39,317and one of the schools that I spoketo, Santa Ana High School, one of48300:29:39,317 --> 00:29:44,217the biggest problems they have is thedropout rate for community college.48400:29:45,197 --> 00:29:45,677Yes.48500:29:45,957 --> 00:29:49,477It's 50 percent and moreon the first semester.48600:29:50,052 --> 00:29:53,222And a lot of it is because theHispanic family that they come from,48700:29:53,852 --> 00:29:57,742they rely on the high school studentto make an extra income working at48800:29:57,742 --> 00:30:01,072McDonald's or wherever, wherever it is.48900:30:01,422 --> 00:30:06,892So this way they can help feed the family,which is a huge burden on, on on kids.49000:30:07,442 --> 00:30:09,812And so to answer yourquestion is to show them.49100:30:10,232 --> 00:30:14,722The better life that they feel thatthey don't deserve, but the better life49200:30:14,722 --> 00:30:20,902that is out there that they totallydeserve that, that so they can see49300:30:20,902 --> 00:30:26,472that if they, they do the time inschool, this is what you'll get for it.49400:30:27,042 --> 00:30:29,252If they do the time in a trade school.49500:30:29,962 --> 00:30:31,402This is what you'll get from it.49600:30:32,042 --> 00:30:36,592And then I take it a step further, andI'm, I'm actually going into, I spoke at49700:30:36,592 --> 00:30:42,652a continuation school in early December,and a couple of the students were just49800:30:42,652 --> 00:30:46,432kind of, yeah, yeah, whatever dude,but I focused on three or four of them,49900:30:47,162 --> 00:30:48,822and I, and I call them out by name.50000:30:48,822 --> 00:30:49,692What do you like doing?50100:30:50,742 --> 00:30:52,182Well, I like this.50200:30:52,462 --> 00:30:53,882What are you going todo when you graduate?50300:30:54,702 --> 00:30:57,982Well, I'm probably going to bean electrician and I'm brilliant.50400:30:58,502 --> 00:30:58,962Excellent.50500:30:59,492 --> 00:31:03,612And then I go to the whiteboard and Isaid, this is what his name was Daniel.50600:31:03,622 --> 00:31:07,202This is what Daniel canexpect when he graduates.50700:31:07,312 --> 00:31:08,952And I said, now all of you follow this.50800:31:09,662 --> 00:31:15,022I told him how much rent costs nowadays,$2,600 for a two bedroom apartment.50900:31:15,802 --> 00:31:18,322And I wrote it all down a month, times 12.51000:31:18,412 --> 00:31:23,322And then I wrote down electricity, $200a month, times 12 gas, blah, blah, blah.51100:31:23,792 --> 00:31:28,862And then I wrote down, Daniel'sgonna make 30, $33 a month, or51200:31:28,862 --> 00:31:33,382sorry, an hour as an electricianstarting out for 28 to $33 a month.51300:31:33,412 --> 00:31:36,922And I wrote that out times12 times four times, 40 times51400:31:37,572 --> 00:31:39,177four weeks times 12 months.51500:31:40,087 --> 00:31:43,537And then I wrote down, if you don'thave a degree, or you don't have51600:31:43,537 --> 00:31:47,397a trade school, you're gonna makeprobably 18 to 20 dollars an hour.51700:31:47,937 --> 00:31:50,857But I wrote that down,and they can see it.51800:31:50,967 --> 00:31:52,847They can see that, wow.51900:31:53,337 --> 00:31:55,197And then I said, oh, andyou wanna go to the movies?52000:31:55,842 --> 00:31:55,872Yes.52100:31:55,882 --> 00:31:59,279You're going to drop100 to go to the movies.52200:31:59,279 --> 00:32:03,972And you're going to, and then gas for yourcar and you want, you want a nice car.52300:32:04,012 --> 00:32:04,362Okay.52400:32:04,362 --> 00:32:06,602And you have a girlfriend or aboyfriend and you have all this,52500:32:06,942 --> 00:32:08,632and I'm like, this is your life.52600:32:09,412 --> 00:32:10,952This is where you guys are headed.52700:32:11,552 --> 00:32:15,312And I said, now Daniel, on the otherhand, goes to trade school, becomes52800:32:15,312 --> 00:32:19,212an electrician, works with his dad,his dad gets him into the company.52900:32:19,682 --> 00:32:21,022He starts to make money.53000:32:22,072 --> 00:32:24,592He lives with his parents, whichis totally cool because he's saving53100:32:24,592 --> 00:32:29,652money and he saves enough money tobuy an apartment complex, a duplex.53200:32:29,922 --> 00:32:35,522He rents one out and he lives inthe other and the mortgage comes,53300:32:35,552 --> 00:32:37,772the mortgage payment comes fromthe one that he's renting out.53400:32:37,772 --> 00:32:39,362So he's essentially living rent free.53500:32:39,542 --> 00:32:40,462He's an electrician.53600:32:40,712 --> 00:32:42,432He knows how to fixthings around the house.53700:32:42,442 --> 00:32:44,432He doesn't have to callanybody to fix anything.53800:32:44,952 --> 00:32:48,702He lives there until he and hisgirlfriend or his partner decide53900:32:48,702 --> 00:32:49,742they're going to get married.54000:32:50,382 --> 00:32:55,292Then they take out a loan on theapartment and they go buy their own home.54100:32:55,612 --> 00:32:57,112They both have good jobs.54200:32:57,502 --> 00:32:59,402They live there for maybe seven years.54300:32:59,402 --> 00:33:02,312Then they take out anotherloan against the apartment and54400:33:02,312 --> 00:33:03,332against the house they own.54500:33:03,372 --> 00:33:05,962And they buy another building apartment.54600:33:06,712 --> 00:33:10,062And then by the time they're50, they own four apartments.54700:33:10,152 --> 00:33:14,012They sell them all and buy onebig building that has 60 tenants.54800:33:14,647 --> 00:33:20,747At 4, 000 a month, when I write down60 times 4, 000 people, I'm like,54900:33:20,837 --> 00:33:23,347this is what Daniel's life can be.55000:33:24,407 --> 00:33:27,18760, I said, 4, 000 times 60 tenants.55100:33:27,227 --> 00:33:29,197You guys tell me what he'sgoing to make a month.55200:33:29,407 --> 00:33:35,167And I'm like, wow, over 200, 000 amonth is what he's going to be making.55300:33:36,067 --> 00:33:38,287And I say to him, this is your life.55400:33:38,832 --> 00:33:42,182So, to answer your question, howdo you pull somebody out of that?55500:33:42,842 --> 00:33:44,072You show it to them.55600:33:44,362 --> 00:33:45,822You show them a better life.55700:33:45,942 --> 00:33:49,352And then they start tofeel like, I can do this.55800:33:49,362 --> 00:33:50,142That it's doable.55900:33:51,732 --> 00:33:52,412Doable.56000:33:52,872 --> 00:33:53,804Because of the math.56100:33:53,804 --> 00:33:54,852Dr. William T. Choctaw: But you know what?56200:33:56,102 --> 00:34:00,827That's just a brilliant point, becausewhat I see, and again, I'll get this.56300:34:02,177 --> 00:34:07,457I've had this belief system that a lotof students, and I'm talking about my56400:34:07,457 --> 00:34:11,377students who, who have to struggle,you know, whether it's because they're,56500:34:11,407 --> 00:34:16,207they're from families that, that are pooror they're minority or both or whatever.56600:34:16,577 --> 00:34:20,217And many times, they,they want the better life.56700:34:20,247 --> 00:34:21,357They want to do well.56800:34:21,377 --> 00:34:22,857They're willing to work well.56900:34:22,857 --> 00:34:24,897But there are traps for them.57000:34:25,077 --> 00:34:26,277There are traps out there for them.57100:34:26,937 --> 00:34:27,747One of the traps.57200:34:28,557 --> 00:34:32,827Is these places they call themselvescolleges and universities and they're57300:34:32,837 --> 00:34:37,627not colleges and universities andthey take our best and our brightest57400:34:37,867 --> 00:34:42,197who save what little they have whenthey get into a place, and I'll57500:34:42,207 --> 00:34:44,247throw a name out Trump University.57600:34:44,672 --> 00:34:49,442And thinking that they're going to auniversity, but it's not a university.57700:34:49,442 --> 00:34:51,632They can't transfer those credits.57800:34:51,822 --> 00:34:56,412They can't take that and take an examand go up into a different profession.57900:34:56,812 --> 00:35:00,152How do you protectstudents from the traps?58000:35:00,672 --> 00:35:05,002out there where people try to takeadvantage of them, which ends up then58100:35:05,022 --> 00:35:08,732either pushing them into depressionor make them give up altogether.58200:35:11,402 --> 00:35:12,452Rudy: That's a very good question.58300:35:13,502 --> 00:35:17,792And, and I'll give two examples.58400:35:17,802 --> 00:35:22,422One and I only give it religiously.58500:35:22,902 --> 00:35:31,227What I mean by that is in ChristianityGod blesses you with gifts and talents,58600:35:32,067 --> 00:35:37,747and he wants you to be the light of theworld for you to go up to the tallest58700:35:37,757 --> 00:35:48,887tree, and so people will see you, and thenyou will selflessly say, I am blessed,58800:35:48,997 --> 00:35:53,667and it's not from me, it's from God,but I am here to spread positive energy58900:35:54,117 --> 00:35:55,837with the gifts and talents that I have.59000:35:57,057 --> 00:36:05,017And so that, I got so lost in that,that visual that I forgot your question.59100:36:05,027 --> 00:36:05,387That's okay.59200:36:06,727 --> 00:36:06,807Dr. William T. Choctaw: Forgive me.59300:36:06,947 --> 00:36:10,177And I am Christian, by the way, so you're,you're, you're, you're, you're in good,59400:36:10,197 --> 00:36:11,527you're, you're in good company here.59500:36:11,527 --> 00:36:12,047It's okay.59600:36:12,097 --> 00:36:12,567Okay.59700:36:12,617 --> 00:36:17,392Rudy: So how, how, you, you had asked,how does a person, How does a student59800:36:19,012 --> 00:36:27,432get beyond, you know that trap and so theexample I just gave you, you know, to be,59900:36:27,752 --> 00:36:32,482use the God given gifts that you have andtalents and, and whatever God it might60000:36:32,482 --> 00:36:36,012be, it could be Buddha, it could be Allah.60100:36:36,437 --> 00:36:37,437It doesn't matter.60200:36:38,187 --> 00:36:43,667It's just God given talent thatyou have that can not be buried.60300:36:44,147 --> 00:36:47,977And there are plenty of stories, asyou know, in the Bible of the, of the60400:36:47,977 --> 00:36:51,537three sons that the father said to oneof the son, I'm going to give you all,60500:36:51,537 --> 00:36:53,647I'm just going to paraphrase this.60600:36:53,647 --> 00:36:56,687I'm going to give you all 10, 000and I want you to, it's your money.60700:36:56,697 --> 00:36:57,337Do what you want.60800:36:57,337 --> 00:36:59,757One son goes out and blows it in parties.60900:37:00,197 --> 00:37:06,047The other goes out and, and, and investsit into a business because bankrupt, but61000:37:07,037 --> 00:37:11,907And then the other son takes the 10, 000and he buries it because he doesn't want61100:37:11,907 --> 00:37:13,397to touch it, doesn't want to lose it.61200:37:13,827 --> 00:37:17,477And then the father comes back and ispraising the other two sons, one who61300:37:17,477 --> 00:37:22,287blew it, it parted away, the otherone who tried to be an entrepreneur,61400:37:22,677 --> 00:37:26,367and he gets angry at the son who tookhis talent and buried it in the dirt.61500:37:27,732 --> 00:37:29,992So how to avoid getting into that trap.61600:37:31,702 --> 00:37:35,412And I tell that story because thatwas a very selfless act of those two61700:37:35,412 --> 00:37:37,842boys who, two sons who just blew it.61800:37:39,012 --> 00:37:44,252But on another hand, it wasn't,it wasn't selfish of them because61900:37:44,732 --> 00:37:46,102they were given that money.62000:37:46,212 --> 00:37:51,852So it wasn't selfish of them to do whatthey wanted with it without having any62100:37:52,322 --> 00:37:54,912guilt or responsibility to their dad.62200:37:55,012 --> 00:37:56,742And that's what their dad loved.62300:37:57,777 --> 00:38:00,627Because he wanted to give it to himand said, do what you want with it.62400:38:00,937 --> 00:38:04,227And they did what they want withit without any parental guilt.62500:38:04,567 --> 00:38:06,577And that's, so that's totap onto your question.62600:38:06,587 --> 00:38:09,137How do you pull up, get out of that trap?62700:38:09,437 --> 00:38:10,957Because parents are that way too.62800:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,977They can put their children intoa trap of, you need to do this.62900:38:14,557 --> 00:38:17,847And even though the son or daughter mayfeel like, well, this is what I want to63000:38:17,847 --> 00:38:22,397do, they will stop from doing it becausethey feel that guilt of their parent.63100:38:23,537 --> 00:38:27,867And they won't do it because theirparent has drilled in them so much.63200:38:29,342 --> 00:38:33,442aNd, and helicopter parents inparticular, or bulldozer parents in63300:38:33,442 --> 00:38:38,202particular, that their child grows upthinking, I'd love to, but I can't.63400:38:38,492 --> 00:38:41,552And that again, funnels down intotheir marriage because their spouse63500:38:41,552 --> 00:38:43,472might be very, Hey, let's go do this.63600:38:44,072 --> 00:38:45,052Hey, I'm going to do this.63700:38:45,522 --> 00:38:49,142But the, but they will be like, Oh,I can't because of my mom and dad.63800:38:49,582 --> 00:38:50,862And they're like, Hey, we're married.63900:38:51,432 --> 00:38:53,332You know, we're going todo what we want to do.64000:38:53,342 --> 00:38:56,862We're going to raise our kids theway we want to raise our kids to64100:38:56,862 --> 00:38:58,272pull yourself out of the trap.64200:38:58,272 --> 00:38:59,092It's not only.64300:38:59,662 --> 00:39:01,042Collegiate, if you will.64400:39:01,042 --> 00:39:03,082It's also parental.64500:39:03,732 --> 00:39:03,822Mm-Hmm.64600:39:04,062 --> 00:39:05,202. And as an individual.64700:39:05,582 --> 00:39:13,362So to answer that question, to funnelall down, to answer one question and64800:39:13,362 --> 00:39:19,422give you one word, and that is selfishbecause you have to be a selfish64900:39:19,422 --> 00:39:21,462individual, a selfish human being.65000:39:21,732 --> 00:39:28,882Knowing that I only have one life, Godgave me the talents to do what I can do.65100:39:29,892 --> 00:39:34,272So when I am on my deathbed, Ican say I lived a happy life.65200:39:34,277 --> 00:39:35,322I have no regrets.65300:39:36,112 --> 00:39:40,442And I used what God gave meand granted people called me65400:39:40,452 --> 00:39:43,162selfish, but I know I'm not.65500:39:44,312 --> 00:39:46,932I just did what I wanted todo with what God gave me.65600:39:47,632 --> 00:39:50,392So to answer your question, youhave to be a selfish human being.65700:39:50,862 --> 00:39:54,932Now there are people who, who take itto the limit, like Steve Jobs or, or65800:39:54,972 --> 00:40:02,342Elon Musk, who, you know, people arejust like, have been portrayed as just65900:40:02,422 --> 00:40:05,382mean human beings, but think about it.66000:40:05,392 --> 00:40:07,112Those people are so focused.66100:40:07,532 --> 00:40:10,432That there's nothing thatmatters to them, but their goal.66200:40:11,282 --> 00:40:15,062And they'll frankly crap oneverybody around them, family and66300:40:15,062 --> 00:40:16,932friends to get what they want.66400:40:17,802 --> 00:40:20,512bUt I, but to answer your question,you have to be a selfish person.66500:40:21,322 --> 00:40:24,542And I don't think the wordselfish in this case is a, is66600:40:24,542 --> 00:40:26,172a bad word or a negative word.66700:40:26,172 --> 00:40:32,522I think it's a very, it's a word that Ibelieve that people should, should say66800:40:32,522 --> 00:40:34,212to themselves, I'm going to be selfish.66900:40:34,392 --> 00:40:37,762And as you can probably know, one ofthe key things of being successful.67000:40:38,512 --> 00:40:43,182Is having the ability to say, no, Heywe're going to go do this when, you know,67100:40:43,182 --> 00:40:49,492we want you to come and you as a son ordaughter say, no, I'm going to go do this.67200:40:50,432 --> 00:40:56,192Or you as, you know, a parent, yousay, no, I'm not going, I need to67300:40:56,192 --> 00:41:02,592work on our taxes or you as, but theability to be selfish and the ability67400:41:02,592 --> 00:41:06,942to say no, that to me to answer yourquestion is the way to avoid that trap.67500:41:07,297 --> 00:41:11,027When people try to put up boundaries,you say, no, I'm not doing it.67600:41:11,377 --> 00:41:12,877I'm, no, I'm not doing it.67700:41:12,997 --> 00:41:15,907And that's one of the things thatI tell students that I'm mentoring.67800:41:16,627 --> 00:41:18,897You have to have a list of standards.67900:41:19,457 --> 00:41:24,577You have to write down my list ofstandards as an, as, yes, as a friend.68000:41:24,957 --> 00:41:26,327This is my standards list.68100:41:26,327 --> 00:41:29,317If you're going to be a friend of mine,you're going to live by my standards.68200:41:29,317 --> 00:41:32,107If you're going to be myspouse, these are my standards.68300:41:32,697 --> 00:41:35,557If you're going to be my businesspartner, these are my standards.68400:41:35,907 --> 00:41:41,447And if you're going to be, you know my,well, I said it, my spouse, whatever,68500:41:42,397 --> 00:41:46,357there's a list of standards where youyourself will say, I will not cross these68600:41:46,357 --> 00:41:52,467lines because then it affects me as ahuman being and I can't be 100 percent me.68700:41:53,917 --> 00:41:59,367So yeah, that's your question to, toget out of that trap, to be selfish.68800:41:59,967 --> 00:42:02,417Have your list of standards that68900:42:02,427 --> 00:42:04,027Dr. William T. Choctaw: makesperfect sense that the students69000:42:04,027 --> 00:42:05,587have to be focused and relentless.69100:42:05,937 --> 00:42:10,407I mean, I'm sure we can all remember incollege, you know, when we wanted to go69200:42:10,407 --> 00:42:11,887to the part of it to say, you know what?69300:42:11,887 --> 00:42:17,487I got, I got a chemistry exam tomorrowand I'm not doing well on chemistry.69400:42:18,217 --> 00:42:22,927I really need to stay here and studyand it's making those choices and69500:42:22,927 --> 00:42:27,947giving yourself permission to makethose choices that that are okay.69600:42:27,977 --> 00:42:28,707That's okay.69700:42:29,017 --> 00:42:32,357And, and I, and you touched on anotherthing that I think is important also.69800:42:32,597 --> 00:42:37,237I think there should be some, somereligious connection there, you know,69900:42:37,237 --> 00:42:42,247and as I said, you can choose what youlike, but I think that to, to your point70000:42:42,487 --> 00:42:47,437helps you maintain those standards,you know, or helps you create them.70100:42:47,657 --> 00:42:50,767So, no, no, no, I'm not justout here doing X, Y, and Z.70200:42:50,957 --> 00:42:51,977I have a purpose.70300:42:52,562 --> 00:42:56,772And either this is in alignment with mypurpose or it's not in alignment with,70400:42:57,772 --> 00:42:59,832and if it's not, then I need to let it go.70500:42:59,972 --> 00:43:00,952And that includes people.70600:43:01,332 --> 00:43:03,092I'm sorry, I need to let it go.70700:43:03,562 --> 00:43:08,012I'm on my way to law school ormedical school or graduate school.70800:43:08,042 --> 00:43:10,822I can't get involved with drugs right now.70900:43:11,292 --> 00:43:12,702I won't even get out of college.71000:43:13,712 --> 00:43:14,992I think that's excellent advice.71100:43:15,762 --> 00:43:16,122Excellent advice.71200:43:16,122 --> 00:43:19,532Rudy: And you bring up friends.71300:43:21,702 --> 00:43:26,242That whether it's friends or family,they may hate you, may talk about you,71400:43:26,242 --> 00:43:29,952but in the end, yes, we'll respect you.71500:43:30,222 --> 00:43:30,782Yes.71600:43:30,892 --> 00:43:33,982And they won't let anybody talkbad about you because it's true.71700:43:34,052 --> 00:43:39,012And it's always, yeah, they will belike, like, Hey man, you know, Hey bro.71800:43:39,012 --> 00:43:43,612Hey, you know, like, Hey, hey, they'lljust talk so good about you in the end.71900:43:43,612 --> 00:43:46,762And whether that's family,friends or colleagues.72000:43:47,122 --> 00:43:51,122And like you had said, you know Youcut the people out of your life who,72100:43:52,552 --> 00:43:54,372who deserve to be, who need to be cut.72200:43:54,692 --> 00:43:55,002Yes.72300:43:56,192 --> 00:43:56,582You.72400:43:56,632 --> 00:43:56,922Yeah.72500:43:56,952 --> 00:43:59,592And if I may, on the, on thereligious Christian thing.72600:44:01,352 --> 00:44:06,602Someone asked me what is the best bookthat I, that I would advise and I would,72700:44:06,662 --> 00:44:12,992I would say for a book of stories, theBible, both New and Old Testament, because72800:44:12,992 --> 00:44:17,052there are so many stories in there thatyou, even if you don't believe, you72900:44:17,052 --> 00:44:18,442just want to read it for entertainment.73000:44:18,857 --> 00:44:23,487You'll read these stories and be like,wow, or you'll read the if you like73100:44:23,487 --> 00:44:29,407poetry, just pick up psalms, pick uppsalms, and you'll just be like, wow,73200:44:29,577 --> 00:44:32,247you know, I don't need to read T.73300:44:32,247 --> 00:44:32,417S.73400:44:32,417 --> 00:44:33,577Eliot or anybody like that.73500:44:33,587 --> 00:44:39,457Just the stuff here is just fascinatingand just and, and again, I say this73600:44:39,457 --> 00:44:42,147because if you're not a Christian, you'renot religious and you just read it.73700:44:42,502 --> 00:44:43,272For face value.73800:44:43,812 --> 00:44:45,562You will pull something out of that.73900:44:46,192 --> 00:44:51,422And you'll just be blown away like,wow, you know, so, yeah, you know,74000:44:51,722 --> 00:44:54,432Dr. William T. Choctaw: well, youknow, you, you have been absolutely74100:44:55,092 --> 00:44:58,632excellent in terms of giving usgood advice and things to do and we74200:44:58,632 --> 00:45:00,172want to be respectful of your time.74300:45:00,632 --> 00:45:02,282Let me ask you one question.74400:45:02,292 --> 00:45:06,962What advice would you give to youngpeople who you normally mentor74500:45:07,292 --> 00:45:10,602or who you're presently mentoringor will mentor in the future?74600:45:11,017 --> 00:45:15,727Because I think that gap betweenhome and college is huge.74700:45:16,017 --> 00:45:20,247And I think, to your point, I thinkit many times will dictate whether74800:45:20,247 --> 00:45:24,987you succeed or you don't succeed, howwell you navigate that transition from74900:45:24,987 --> 00:45:28,847high school to college, or high schoolto whatever is after high school.75000:45:29,077 --> 00:45:33,477But what advice in general would you give,you know, to all of the parents on the75100:45:33,477 --> 00:45:35,277parents side and on the students side?75200:45:37,677 --> 00:45:44,737Rudy: First of all, I, I think, Humility,if you're a parent humility in, in, in75300:45:44,807 --> 00:45:50,197the way where you can say as a parent,I don't know everything, where you as75400:45:50,197 --> 00:45:56,247a parent can say to your child, I don'tknow everything, and I am not perfect.75500:45:56,397 --> 00:46:00,717When you can say those two lines toyour son or daughter, the anxiety,75600:46:00,747 --> 00:46:07,807the, the expectation, it becomes morewhat your son or daughter will be like.75700:46:10,897 --> 00:46:12,957Cause they, sons anddaughters need to realize.75800:46:13,422 --> 00:46:18,012And I'm sure that there was a pointfor you with your parents that my75900:46:18,012 --> 00:46:22,732parents don't know everything andthat's best for me as an individual.76000:46:23,502 --> 00:46:26,632And my mom, my dad isn't Superman.76100:46:27,192 --> 00:46:29,602Like I thought he was, he's a human being.76200:46:29,802 --> 00:46:35,452He's just like me trying to figure itout, but trying to be the best as you can.76300:46:36,502 --> 00:46:37,712And same with my mom.76400:46:38,512 --> 00:46:43,802But if a parent can just be humble andadmit these things to their child, the.76500:46:44,672 --> 00:46:48,252The expectations, the anxiety,just, ah, the weight on your76600:46:48,252 --> 00:46:50,032shoulders just, ooh, goes away.76700:46:50,562 --> 00:46:52,572There's that saying, let go and let God.76800:46:54,082 --> 00:46:55,322And it's kind of the same thing.76900:46:55,542 --> 00:46:59,192Let go of thinking you have to be theperfect parent and tell your son or77000:46:59,192 --> 00:47:00,882daughter that, I don't know everything.77100:47:00,942 --> 00:47:02,022I had to figure it out.77200:47:02,032 --> 00:47:04,102I went exactly what you're going through.77300:47:04,642 --> 00:47:07,262But, but here's where Ican help as your parent.77400:47:07,662 --> 00:47:09,202I am here for you.77500:47:10,022 --> 00:47:12,272Give them a hug or let them hug you.77600:47:12,842 --> 00:47:15,362And here's another lastthing for the parents.77700:47:15,957 --> 00:47:22,747Is to tell them, we are a team, youand me are a team and your brother and77800:47:22,747 --> 00:47:26,747your dad were a team, even if they'redivorced, it doesn't matter because you77900:47:26,747 --> 00:47:30,987still parents and you can rely on me.78000:47:31,157 --> 00:47:31,707We are a team.78100:47:31,727 --> 00:47:35,587Now, if that parent can't do that,then I'd have to say that parent78200:47:35,597 --> 00:47:36,887needs to work on themselves.78300:47:37,767 --> 00:47:38,777And there's nothing wrong with that.78400:47:39,307 --> 00:47:42,927And for the, the, the child,the student to realize.78500:47:43,827 --> 00:47:47,367tHat my mom and dad aren'tperfect, and there are some78600:47:47,367 --> 00:47:48,817things that I can't tell them.78700:47:49,307 --> 00:47:51,957It's best that they don't know,and I'm talking about the good78800:47:51,957 --> 00:47:53,187things you want to do in your life.78900:47:53,237 --> 00:47:58,417If you're doing, I'm not talking aboutdrinking or drugs or any of that stuff.79000:47:58,757 --> 00:48:01,847I'm talking about things that you knowyou want to do with your life, you79100:48:01,847 --> 00:48:03,397want to study, you want to become.79200:48:03,637 --> 00:48:10,017Sometimes it's best that parents don'tknow, and then you do it, and then while79300:48:10,017 --> 00:48:11,457you're doing it, your parents like.79400:48:12,717 --> 00:48:14,187Wow, you did all this.79500:48:14,187 --> 00:48:15,087And I'm like, yeah, I did.79600:48:15,757 --> 00:48:16,147I did.79700:48:16,187 --> 00:48:17,247I did it myself.79800:48:18,307 --> 00:48:22,157And then your parents starts to havethat respect for you because you did it.79900:48:22,157 --> 00:48:25,717And and it goes again, being selfish.80000:48:26,147 --> 00:48:31,557So advice that I would give to a highschool student or a college student is80100:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,397do what you want to do with your life.80200:48:33,437 --> 00:48:35,267Well, I don't know whatI want to do, Rudy.80300:48:35,597 --> 00:48:37,547Well, start with what are your talents?80400:48:37,942 --> 00:48:38,862What are you good at?80500:48:38,872 --> 00:48:40,442What do your teacherstell you you're good at?80600:48:40,452 --> 00:48:41,902What do you know you're good at?80700:48:42,272 --> 00:48:42,912Are you good at math?80800:48:42,952 --> 00:48:43,942No, I'm terrible at math.80900:48:44,412 --> 00:48:47,132Alright, well, I couldnever be a business owner.81000:48:47,142 --> 00:48:50,472Yeah, you can, because youmight be a people person.81100:48:51,012 --> 00:48:53,352You might be, and then what doyou do if you don't know math?81200:48:53,382 --> 00:48:55,652You hire the best math people.81300:48:57,042 --> 00:48:59,332Yeah, and you tell them what to do.81400:48:59,772 --> 00:49:02,142Just because you don't know mathdoesn't mean you're not smart enough81500:49:02,142 --> 00:49:03,512to be your own business owner.81600:49:04,512 --> 00:49:07,102And so follow your talents,follow your passion.81700:49:07,622 --> 00:49:09,682Do what you want to do as an individual.81800:49:09,792 --> 00:49:10,642Be selfish.81900:49:10,752 --> 00:49:11,342It's okay.82000:49:12,312 --> 00:49:13,772And and the money will come.82100:49:13,772 --> 00:49:16,212And you'll realize it'snot about the money.82200:49:16,302 --> 00:49:18,862It's about me doing things.82300:49:18,982 --> 00:49:20,302And the money's just gonna come.82400:49:20,962 --> 00:49:21,432So, yeah.82500:49:22,442 --> 00:49:22,672So,82600:49:22,952 --> 00:49:25,032Dr. William T. Choctaw: for theparents and the students who are82700:49:25,032 --> 00:49:28,492listening to this podcast, howdo they get in touch with you?82800:49:29,422 --> 00:49:31,442If they want to follow up or82900:49:31,682 --> 00:49:33,162Rudy: Yeah.83000:49:33,942 --> 00:49:39,402Yeah, they can contact me Well, youcan go to college web mentor.com Okay.83100:49:39,402 --> 00:49:41,082That's college.com.83200:49:42,092 --> 00:49:42,662Dot com.83300:49:42,872 --> 00:49:47,402And you can reach out to mepersonally at Rudy, R-U-D-Y-A-M-P,83400:49:47,552 --> 00:49:49,562Adam Michael paul@gmail.com.83500:49:50,242 --> 00:49:51,672And you know what's interesting?83600:49:52,612 --> 00:49:56,182Since I brought up my website, I usedto have prices up there, like, you know,83700:49:56,182 --> 00:49:57,832cookie cutter pulled up to McDonald's.83800:49:57,832 --> 00:50:01,682I'll take them number one grilledonions, or number two, or number three.83900:50:03,007 --> 00:50:04,547But I realized that wasn't working.84000:50:04,547 --> 00:50:05,887I wasn't getting any sales.84100:50:06,847 --> 00:50:10,017And then I took the prices offand then people started calling.84200:50:11,167 --> 00:50:12,147sO there's no prices.84300:50:12,147 --> 00:50:17,557But actually, it hit me thatthis is such a delicate situation84400:50:17,557 --> 00:50:20,917and trying to, to help somebody,you can't put a price on it.84500:50:20,917 --> 00:50:24,957So really it's, I mean, there'shourly rates, but each individual84600:50:24,967 --> 00:50:27,747mentor is, is, is has their own rates.84700:50:29,407 --> 00:50:33,697And it's more of where youmeet somebody for 20 minutes.84800:50:34,377 --> 00:50:37,427Every other week, and then youcan educate through, through84900:50:37,477 --> 00:50:40,157through Google Docs and journal.85000:50:40,157 --> 00:50:42,527Journaling is really important, andthat's another thing for a parent85100:50:42,527 --> 00:50:45,597and for a student to journal aboutwhat you're going through in life.85200:50:46,007 --> 00:50:48,897Because as you read it and you'rewriting it, you're figuring things out.85300:50:48,987 --> 00:50:50,627How to figure problems,how to problem solve.85400:50:51,687 --> 00:50:54,427A lot of that happens betweenthe mentors and the students.85500:50:55,047 --> 00:50:59,127And that's I know I'm totallytransitioning here, but but that is85600:50:59,137 --> 00:51:02,837the, the way to get ahold of me throughemail and just check out the website.85700:51:03,037 --> 00:51:07,527So, yeah, and I'd love to come backanytime you want to talk to me.85800:51:08,067 --> 00:51:10,077Dr. William T. Choctaw: Wedefinitely want to have you back.85900:51:10,077 --> 00:51:13,847And so what I, my request ofyou is look at your schedule.86000:51:14,737 --> 00:51:18,837Okay, next few months and see whichmonth is good for you, but and just86100:51:18,837 --> 00:51:22,887just this shoot me a text on emailsthat I'm available during the month86200:51:23,477 --> 00:51:28,367of and we will because I really dobelieve this is so important and I86300:51:28,367 --> 00:51:32,977don't think anybody else is talkingabout this the way we agree with.86400:51:33,497 --> 00:51:34,307Rudy: I totally agree with86500:51:35,357 --> 00:51:35,407Dr. William T. Choctaw: you.86600:51:35,407 --> 00:51:38,697Everybody just assumes, well, it's allhandled and everybody takes care of it.86700:51:38,857 --> 00:51:43,517It's not all handled because I, tothat point, I have a grandson, my first86800:51:43,517 --> 00:51:45,887grandson who's applying to college.86900:51:45,897 --> 00:51:47,507He's, he's a 3.87000:51:47,507 --> 00:51:48,0478 student.87100:51:48,387 --> 00:51:51,037He's applying to most of the UC schools.87200:51:52,012 --> 00:51:56,152And you know, he's in that, inthat transition, so I'm going87300:51:56,162 --> 00:52:00,237back through this again with him,you know, and you're right, you87400:52:00,237 --> 00:52:03,442know, he talks in the Instagram,which I never heard of back then.87500:52:04,017 --> 00:52:08,217But I think a lot of parents gothrough this every year and they87600:52:08,217 --> 00:52:12,807need help and I think the resourcesare very limited to help them.87700:52:12,827 --> 00:52:13,417Rudy: Yes.87800:52:14,227 --> 00:52:14,367Yes.87900:52:14,667 --> 00:52:17,437Dr. William T. Choctaw: We wantto help to make you available on a88000:52:17,437 --> 00:52:20,447regular basis as as as possible to88100:52:20,447 --> 00:52:20,627Rudy: help.88200:52:21,677 --> 00:52:25,837Well, I'd come back every month and we cantalk about one thing in particular that.88300:52:26,262 --> 00:52:29,352Like maybe next month, whatshould a student be doing for88400:52:29,352 --> 00:52:31,552spring break, you know, to okay.88500:52:31,692 --> 00:52:31,912Okay.88600:52:32,022 --> 00:52:34,212And then and then yeah.88700:52:34,212 --> 00:52:35,742And then what should a student be doing?88800:52:35,742 --> 00:52:39,202That's about to graduate highschool or graduate college.88900:52:39,222 --> 00:52:40,442What should they be doing?89000:52:41,012 --> 00:52:43,302That they can't get from theircounselors advice, or they89100:52:43,302 --> 00:52:44,422can't get from their parents.89200:52:44,832 --> 00:52:46,662Yeah, what should they be doing?89300:52:46,662 --> 00:52:47,562What should they be focusing on?89400:52:48,612 --> 00:52:51,192So yeah, I'm, I'mwhenever you want me back.89500:52:51,192 --> 00:52:51,862Dr. William T. Choctaw:Why don't we do that?89600:52:51,862 --> 00:52:53,412We'll set up a monthly thing.89700:52:53,552 --> 00:52:56,792You can send a list of topicsthat, that, that you think would be89800:52:56,792 --> 00:53:01,562appropriate, but, but we'll coordinatemonthly for the next 11 months.89900:53:02,622 --> 00:53:03,812Rudy: That sounds perfect to me.90000:53:03,812 --> 00:53:06,652Right.90100:53:06,832 --> 00:53:08,222Dr. William T. Choctaw: Ihonestly think that this is an90200:53:08,232 --> 00:53:12,462area that's weak in our educationdevelopment system for the students.90300:53:12,722 --> 00:53:15,832I think either we have counselorswho don't understand the students,90400:53:15,842 --> 00:53:20,372all the students, and maybe are notproviding the help that they should90500:53:20,392 --> 00:53:23,912be because of their own, I don'tknow, limited experience or whatever.90600:53:24,417 --> 00:53:26,367Yeah, I think there's a need is my point.90700:53:26,507 --> 00:53:29,767I think there's a need absolutelyfor all students regardless90800:53:29,767 --> 00:53:30,347Rudy: of who you are.90900:53:31,117 --> 00:53:31,677Yes.91000:53:31,727 --> 00:53:35,247And, you know, you bring up a very goodpoint about counselors because like Mt.91100:53:35,247 --> 00:53:38,857SAC has I think over 42,000 students and how can 2591200:53:38,857 --> 00:53:41,787counselors help 42, 000 students.91300:53:41,807 --> 00:53:42,757It's not possible.91400:53:43,407 --> 00:53:45,787And there are some counselorsthat don't want to help you.91500:53:46,197 --> 00:53:48,117I mean, unfortunately,they think they already91600:53:48,117 --> 00:53:49,307Dr. William T. Choctaw: knowthey look at you and say, Oh,91700:53:49,307 --> 00:53:50,507no, no, no, you in this group.91800:53:50,677 --> 00:53:51,657Oh, no, no, no, you're in that.91900:53:52,177 --> 00:53:52,737Exactly.92000:53:52,757 --> 00:53:53,027And then92100:53:53,027 --> 00:53:57,587Rudy: which brings up the whole prejudicething, you know, that sometimes slips in.92200:53:57,587 --> 00:54:00,837We're like, Oh, well, you're AfricanAmerican, you should be doing this.92300:54:01,127 --> 00:54:03,427I mean, Hilda Solis is a perfect example.92400:54:03,667 --> 00:54:07,137When she talks to students, she says,Yeah, I went to my counselor and the92500:54:07,137 --> 00:54:11,157counselor told me I should be a secretaryand I should go to Rio Hondo for secretary92600:54:11,157 --> 00:54:12,927classes and she ended up becoming.92700:54:13,247 --> 00:54:17,547The Secretary of Labor forPresident Obama and everybody92800:54:17,737 --> 00:54:20,747laughs in the audience, I love that.92900:54:20,747 --> 00:54:25,617But you know, think beyond, you know, soyeah, I'm here for you and your audience.93000:54:25,867 --> 00:54:27,737Dr. William T. Choctaw: We willset that up, we will do that93100:54:28,077 --> 00:54:30,287once a year for that reason.93200:54:30,507 --> 00:54:35,747And again, thank you so much, youknow, God bless you and continue93300:54:35,747 --> 00:54:36,699with the work that you do.93400:54:36,699 --> 00:54:37,257Of course, likewise.93500:54:37,567 --> 00:54:40,177And we'll both be in touch for february.93600:54:42,167 --> 00:54:42,587Okay.93700:54:43,037 --> 00:54:43,347Rudy: Thank you, sir.93800:54:43,427 --> 00:54:43,877Take care.93900:54:43,877 --> 00:54:44,527Take care.94000:54:44,527 --> 00:54:44,817All right.94100:54:45,037 --> 00:54:46,087Bye bye You too