Prayer, Purpose, and Power: Spiritual Dimensions of Leadership

100:00:00,590 --> 00:00:01,780Dr. William T Choctaw, MD, JD:Reverend Andrew Collins.200:00:02,590 --> 00:00:05,130Okay, what I want to do, I want togive you a scripture this morning,300:00:05,740 --> 00:00:09,020starting at Mark chapter 9, verse 23.400:00:09,670 --> 00:00:13,419Jesus said unto him, If thoucanst believe, all things are500:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,369possible to him that believeth.600:00:15,370 --> 00:00:20,619And straightway the father of thechild cried out, And said with tears,700:00:20,749 --> 00:00:25,170Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief,let us go to the Lord in prayer.800:00:25,340 --> 00:00:28,300Father God Almighty, we come to you thismorning, my father, knowing my father900:00:28,300 --> 00:00:32,800that you are in control of our lives,my father, knowing that you, you let us1000:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,649sleep last night and then you touchedus with the finger of love this morning.1100:00:36,130 --> 00:00:39,250You woke us up in closing our rightmind, you know, our spiritual, physical,1200:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,640mental capacity is far too involved.1300:00:40,850 --> 00:00:43,000And we know you did it allbecause you love us, my father.1400:00:43,090 --> 00:00:44,210All because you love grace.1500:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,119And we thank you for that, andwe thank you for bringing us to1600:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,410this point in time, my father.1700:00:48,640 --> 00:00:53,009As we go through this masterclass today,we pray that you would help us all, my1800:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,629father, to constantly believe in you.1900:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,670Not only that, but believe in the thingsthat you have sent people to tell us.2000:00:57,970 --> 00:01:00,609Knowing, my father, that all thingsare possible with you, my father.2100:01:00,610 --> 00:01:03,220We love you, we praise you,we glorify and edify you.2200:01:03,675 --> 00:01:05,155Bless my father, our speaker.2300:01:05,714 --> 00:01:07,354Fill him with your HolySpirit, wisdom, and honesty.2400:01:07,354 --> 00:01:09,195We speak the words thatyou've given him to speak.2500:01:10,175 --> 00:01:12,294We ask this of you and we thankthis of you in your daughter's2600:01:12,294 --> 00:01:13,624name, Jesus Christ, Holy Name.2700:01:14,024 --> 00:01:14,425Amen.2800:01:16,794 --> 00:01:17,405Good morning.2900:01:17,714 --> 00:01:19,364Happy to have you all here.3000:01:19,945 --> 00:01:22,005Today we're going to talk about wellness.3100:01:22,484 --> 00:01:25,334Wellness you've heard it in many contexts.3200:01:26,424 --> 00:01:29,714But we're going to talk about wellnessin terms of your health and in terms3300:01:29,714 --> 00:01:34,274of the health of those that youlove and those that are around you.3400:01:34,274 --> 00:01:35,994So first, Happy New Year.3500:01:39,944 --> 00:01:42,344Welcome to 2024.3600:01:43,939 --> 00:01:51,099This is the year that'snew, and we haven't seen it3700:01:51,099 --> 00:01:53,809before, as you can imagine.3800:01:54,319 --> 00:01:56,099So welcome to 2024.3900:01:56,109 --> 00:01:56,929Happy New Year.4000:01:57,999 --> 00:02:01,009I believe life is aboutbeing of service to others.4100:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,279I believe knowledge is power.4200:02:03,454 --> 00:02:06,064I believe leaders can change the world.4300:02:06,484 --> 00:02:10,714You are in this room today andon zoom because you're leaders.4400:02:11,064 --> 00:02:15,114This is part of our leadership masterclassseries and most of this has to do4500:02:15,114 --> 00:02:17,624with what I call masterclass medicine.4600:02:18,324 --> 00:02:20,804Now you've heard aboutmedicine in different contexts.4700:02:21,169 --> 00:02:25,159But this is leaders learning howto do better and how to grow the4800:02:25,159 --> 00:02:29,929healthcare delivery system andto help others in in medicine.4900:02:30,469 --> 00:02:34,529Much of what we're going to talk abouttoday is going to be based on my, I now5000:02:34,529 --> 00:02:42,119can say 76 years of service, of life, andseven and 51 years of medical practice.5100:02:43,629 --> 00:02:45,299And these are my opinions.5200:02:45,519 --> 00:02:51,899I encourage you to use your computerbrowser liberally, meaning that feel5300:02:51,919 --> 00:02:56,819free to look up information that we maytalk about, because I think that's how5400:02:56,829 --> 00:02:59,369we all learn, and that's how we all grow.5500:03:00,339 --> 00:03:02,529And certainly, you'll be able to ask.5600:03:02,924 --> 00:03:04,734and answer questions as you need to.5700:03:05,314 --> 00:03:06,164I have to know.5800:03:06,574 --> 00:03:11,734Well, it's not uncommon, every January,that there's a tradition in this country,5900:03:11,964 --> 00:03:14,334and we call it New Year's Resolutions.6000:03:14,694 --> 00:03:19,654And if you look at television, you'regoing to see ads about how to lose weight,6100:03:20,424 --> 00:03:24,234how to be healthier, et cetera, et cetera.6200:03:24,894 --> 00:03:26,924We're going to talk aboutthat, but we're going to do it6300:03:26,924 --> 00:03:28,324from a different perspective.6400:03:29,144 --> 00:03:31,594We're going to talk aboutsomething called wellness.6500:03:32,074 --> 00:03:33,884And we'll describe what that is.6600:03:34,094 --> 00:03:39,034We're going to talk about, I would say,a good solid three to four resolutions6700:03:39,034 --> 00:03:41,634that we recommend that you consider.6800:03:41,834 --> 00:03:46,824And included in that is somethingcalled radical self help.6900:03:46,824 --> 00:03:48,265And we'll describe what that is.7000:03:48,504 --> 00:03:51,544And then we'll leave you withsome suggestions about what7100:03:51,554 --> 00:03:53,124you can do to stay healthy.7200:03:53,684 --> 00:03:57,624So, as we talked about the NewYear's weather looseness, most7300:03:57,624 --> 00:03:59,569of them will involve Eating.7400:04:00,119 --> 00:04:05,109And what I'm going to suggest toyou, to put it in context, basically,7500:04:05,389 --> 00:04:09,579when we talk about being healthieror wellness, we're talking about7600:04:09,589 --> 00:04:11,069controlling the controllables.7700:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,959What do I mean by controllingthe controllables?7800:04:14,709 --> 00:04:16,429Basically controlling yourself.7900:04:16,969 --> 00:04:18,649You cannot control other people.8000:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,499And I've said it many times,I used to thought, think that8100:04:22,499 --> 00:04:23,989I was controlling my children.8200:04:24,179 --> 00:04:25,019I was not.8300:04:25,379 --> 00:04:29,249I would make suggestions to them,but they basically did what they did.8400:04:29,609 --> 00:04:34,944And, and it's sort of like, It's aboutyou controlling yourself, basically.8500:04:34,954 --> 00:04:36,764This, this is reallywhat we're talking about.8600:04:37,054 --> 00:04:41,444And it's based on the theory that ifyou get yourself in order, you can then8700:04:41,454 --> 00:04:46,024help to help others to get themselvesto the level that they should be.8800:04:46,434 --> 00:04:49,594And one of the things, one of my favoriteprayers that I've learned many, many8900:04:49,594 --> 00:04:53,844years ago, I think back when I wasin college is the serenity prayer.9000:04:54,614 --> 00:04:58,744And I've, I've had this onmy office wall many times.9100:04:59,069 --> 00:05:02,149And basically it's the, and manyof you have heard it, it's the9200:05:02,149 --> 00:05:06,039God grant me the serenity toaccept the things I cannot change.9300:05:06,644 --> 00:05:11,334The courage to change the thingsthat I can, and the wisdom to know9400:05:11,334 --> 00:05:12,794the difference between the two.9500:05:13,184 --> 00:05:13,904What's my point?9600:05:13,934 --> 00:05:20,554My point is, it is a full time job,24 7, for you to be in charge of9700:05:20,554 --> 00:05:24,114making sure you are doing the rightthings when they should be done.9800:05:24,474 --> 00:05:26,834You don't have time to tryto change other people.9900:05:27,099 --> 00:05:30,469Because changing yourself andtaking care of yourself is, is10000:05:30,469 --> 00:05:33,889a 25 24 hour a day a situation.10100:05:34,209 --> 00:05:38,379When we talk about change and whenwe talk about wellness and we talk10200:05:38,389 --> 00:05:43,239about self or the individual, I referto it as the person in the mirror.10300:05:43,579 --> 00:05:47,449And this is the person I have aconversation with every day in terms of10400:05:47,449 --> 00:05:49,309what I should or should not be doing.10500:05:49,609 --> 00:05:53,749And I would suggest or recommendthat, that you basically do the same.10600:05:54,804 --> 00:05:59,984And when we talk about change and wetalk about the individual, I'm talking10700:05:59,984 --> 00:06:05,214about it on three different levels,mental, physical, and spiritual.10800:06:05,474 --> 00:06:08,834So what do we mean by thator why are they connected?10900:06:09,014 --> 00:06:14,274Well, our beliefs, what we think,and if we go back to what I call the11000:06:14,294 --> 00:06:18,244prefrontal cortex, the right sideof the upper part of the brain here.11100:06:18,739 --> 00:06:24,369Our belief affects how we think andhow we think affects how we feel11200:06:24,949 --> 00:06:27,159and how we feel affects how we act.11300:06:27,529 --> 00:06:32,339My point is, if you're not feelingwell mentally, if you're a little11400:06:32,349 --> 00:06:36,019down, if things aren't workingwell for you, go back and look11500:06:36,019 --> 00:06:37,639at what your belief system is.11600:06:38,044 --> 00:06:40,834What do you believe thatmay or may not be true?11700:06:41,374 --> 00:06:47,464Because what you may find outis that your belief is in error.11800:06:47,824 --> 00:06:51,824And just by changing your belief,flipping the switch, I like to say,11900:06:52,124 --> 00:06:53,934you can change the way you feel.12000:06:54,144 --> 00:06:55,214There's wellness.12100:06:55,274 --> 00:06:58,194You've, you've heard thisterm a lot, wellness.12200:06:58,574 --> 00:07:00,674A lot of times when I send an email.12300:07:01,119 --> 00:07:03,039I'll say stay safe.12400:07:03,079 --> 00:07:03,889Be well.12500:07:04,909 --> 00:07:10,889What does being well mean beingwell means being at your very best12600:07:11,129 --> 00:07:14,379mentally, physically and spiritually.12700:07:14,669 --> 00:07:17,359Yes, we think about ourselvesphysically all the time.12800:07:17,629 --> 00:07:18,649We want to stay healthy.12900:07:18,649 --> 00:07:19,579We want to eat right.13000:07:19,579 --> 00:07:20,659We want to exercise.13100:07:20,699 --> 00:07:21,549We want to lose weight.13200:07:21,729 --> 00:07:22,399That's great.13300:07:22,819 --> 00:07:28,079But I will submit to you that the twoother forms of wellness are just as13400:07:28,079 --> 00:07:31,149important as physical, if not even more.13500:07:31,359 --> 00:07:34,629And that's the mental partand the spiritual part.13600:07:34,789 --> 00:07:37,469The mental part and the spiritual part.13700:07:38,239 --> 00:07:42,189Mentally, obviously, is what youthink, or how you view other people.13800:07:42,189 --> 00:07:43,429Again, your beliefs.13900:07:43,739 --> 00:07:49,999Spiritual, many times, is how youthink, how you feel in an alignment.14000:07:50,369 --> 00:07:53,129with a spiritual belief system, right?14100:07:53,359 --> 00:07:56,049As a Christian, youbelieve certain things.14200:07:56,379 --> 00:08:01,439And you know when you are or arenot in alignment with those beliefs.14300:08:01,589 --> 00:08:04,919And so, you want to put allthose together, and what I like14400:08:04,929 --> 00:08:06,389to say, you want to be balanced.14500:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,589You want to be balanced.14600:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,659You want to have eachone of those three areas.14700:08:12,199 --> 00:08:15,779So when we talk about wellness andif we were to do a wordle, this14800:08:15,779 --> 00:08:19,669is sort of like what we have here,it talks about it in all those14900:08:19,669 --> 00:08:21,769different, all those different areas.15000:08:22,234 --> 00:08:27,664Happiness, relaxation, enjoyment,science, hygiene, care, mental15100:08:27,664 --> 00:08:30,274and physical exercise, et cetera.15200:08:30,854 --> 00:08:36,544And again, wellness therapy thenis treating ourselves mentally,15300:08:36,544 --> 00:08:41,124physically, and spiritually, andthereby being able to help others.15400:08:41,314 --> 00:08:43,174Because again, remember the beliefs.15500:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,914Life is about being of service to others.15600:08:45,924 --> 00:08:52,244So this is not just about This is about usgetting ourselves together so that we can15700:08:52,244 --> 00:08:54,944then reach out and be helpful to others.15800:08:55,359 --> 00:08:59,309So one of the, one of the resolutionsthat I'm going to suggest to you is15900:08:59,309 --> 00:09:02,259something called radical self help.16000:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,719And you may not have heard thephrase before, but radical self help16100:09:06,739 --> 00:09:13,889means being serious and, and, andcommitted to taking care of yourself.16200:09:14,049 --> 00:09:18,109Being serious and committedto taking care of yourself.16300:09:19,019 --> 00:09:21,179And why, why is this such a big deal?16400:09:21,189 --> 00:09:25,669Because many times we are taught,well, you know, it's selfish.16500:09:25,954 --> 00:09:27,684to think about taking care of yourself.16600:09:28,064 --> 00:09:30,979And I'm going to suggest that it is not.16700:09:31,299 --> 00:09:37,389Yes, you can be selfish, but radicalself care means that if I stay healthy,16800:09:37,559 --> 00:09:42,149I can help other people stay healthy,mentally, physically, and spiritually.16900:09:42,409 --> 00:09:46,819If I'm balanced, I can help otherpeople be balanced, mentally,17000:09:46,869 --> 00:09:48,529physically, and spiritually.17100:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,069It's sort of caring for the caregivers.17200:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,089If I'm a, if, assume thatwe're all caregivers.17300:09:55,009 --> 00:09:58,749as leaders, then if we takecare of ourselves, we can help17400:09:58,749 --> 00:10:00,019to take care of other people.17500:10:00,229 --> 00:10:05,119So what can you do to bring moreradical self care to your life?17600:10:06,129 --> 00:10:08,079You can see this young lady on the screen.17700:10:08,349 --> 00:10:10,559She is obviously happy.17800:10:10,869 --> 00:10:13,919Because she's involvedwith the radical self care.17900:10:14,089 --> 00:10:16,299So what are some of theelements of self care?18000:10:16,489 --> 00:10:17,909Let's just talk about them.18100:10:18,189 --> 00:10:20,889And the way, one way tothink about it is sort of the18200:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,429conscious and the subconscious.18300:10:22,679 --> 00:10:28,049Our bodies, and I, I say this all thetime, are like the most sophisticated18400:10:28,049 --> 00:10:29,769computer you can ever imagine.18500:10:30,274 --> 00:10:32,284It does so many things when we're awake.18600:10:32,284 --> 00:10:36,794It does so many things when we'reasleep, and all those things cumulatively18700:10:37,034 --> 00:10:38,924make us effective as human beings.18800:10:38,934 --> 00:10:40,264It's just extraordinary.18900:10:40,624 --> 00:10:44,354And those of you young people or,or even not young people who are19000:10:44,374 --> 00:10:46,994interested in a career, go into medicine.19100:10:47,004 --> 00:10:49,204The, the body is just extraordinary.19200:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,744And so the body operates on two levels.19300:10:51,744 --> 00:10:55,664It operates on the conscious level andthe unconscious or the subconscious level.19400:10:55,894 --> 00:10:58,454Think about it being awakeand being asleep, right?19500:10:58,644 --> 00:11:00,254When we're awake, we're conscious.19600:11:00,284 --> 00:11:05,954We, we do things purposefully but whenwe're asleep we are not conscious.19700:11:06,679 --> 00:11:12,249We're not awake, but our body functionsremarkably, and studies are now showing19800:11:12,509 --> 00:11:16,889that the body is much more active whenwe're asleep than we ever thought it was.19900:11:16,949 --> 00:11:18,969We used to think thateverything sort of shut down.20000:11:19,079 --> 00:11:19,769Well it doesn't.20100:11:19,769 --> 00:11:21,719It doesn't shut down at all.20200:11:21,909 --> 00:11:24,799As a matter of fact, some things speedup when, when, when we're asleep.20300:11:25,279 --> 00:11:31,774So some, some of the, some of the Elementsto look at with self care is getting rest.20400:11:31,794 --> 00:11:33,234Now, this is obvious, right?20500:11:33,235 --> 00:11:38,114You know, if you have any kind ofsystem, you have to rest that system.20600:11:38,404 --> 00:11:42,144So again, think of your bodyas a super duper computer.20700:11:42,154 --> 00:11:43,254You've got arrested.20800:11:43,264 --> 00:11:46,144You've got to give achance to repair itself.20900:11:46,489 --> 00:11:48,129You've got to do analytics on it.21000:11:48,129 --> 00:11:51,999You've got to make sure it's functioningproperly, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.21100:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,799Fuel, you've got to eat properly.21200:11:54,799 --> 00:11:58,739You need food to put into thebody, and ideally it should be21300:11:58,739 --> 00:12:02,179good food or proper food, and soyou've got to nourish the body.21400:12:02,429 --> 00:12:08,549It would not help you to go, to noteat for six months or three months.21500:12:08,809 --> 00:12:12,239And that's why when I hear theword fasting, I get nervous.21600:12:12,934 --> 00:12:16,464As a physician being veryhonest, I hear the word fasting.21700:12:16,464 --> 00:12:21,534I get nervous because I'm saying, youknow what, my machine is like my car.21800:12:21,794 --> 00:12:26,184Now I can say, Okay, I'm going to letthat dial get all the way to zero.21900:12:26,694 --> 00:12:28,064And I'm not going to put gas in.22000:12:28,064 --> 00:12:30,314I'm just gonna, I'm justgoing to take that risk.22100:12:30,354 --> 00:12:34,154That's the way sometimes I sort ofview fasting, but that's just me.22200:12:34,364 --> 00:12:35,124That's just me.22300:12:35,454 --> 00:12:38,124But, but you got toprovide fuel for the body.22400:12:38,314 --> 00:12:39,304That makes sense, right?22500:12:39,314 --> 00:12:39,334Yeah.22600:12:39,689 --> 00:12:40,669You gotta move.22700:12:41,079 --> 00:12:42,449The body has to be active.22800:12:42,469 --> 00:12:45,829The body was not meantto be sedentary 24 7.22900:12:46,129 --> 00:12:49,619It is a functioning, active, living being.23000:12:49,819 --> 00:12:53,529And that's the way God made us,and so that, that's our job to do.23100:12:54,089 --> 00:12:56,429And that sometimes we want to be still.23200:12:57,129 --> 00:12:58,969All right, sounds a little paradoxical.23300:12:59,209 --> 00:13:00,109What does that mean?23400:13:00,269 --> 00:13:02,809That means that sometimes youjust need to take a break.23500:13:03,119 --> 00:13:07,399Sometimes you just need to sit, andyou can call it meditation, you can23600:13:07,429 --> 00:13:11,199call it prayer, you can call it yoga,you can call it anything you want.23700:13:11,529 --> 00:13:17,459But sometimes you just need to sit and be,and be still and be at peace, be at peace.23800:13:17,629 --> 00:13:18,669I call it prayer.23900:13:19,159 --> 00:13:22,699You know, where I, I just have my,my, my little prayer for whatever24000:13:22,699 --> 00:13:24,439I want to talk to God about.24100:13:24,449 --> 00:13:29,099But, but, but sometimes you just needto stop, just need to stop and be still.24200:13:30,249 --> 00:13:31,829Sometimes you need to speak up.24300:13:32,319 --> 00:13:35,759Now this may be difficult for a lot ofpeople who are uncomfortable speaking24400:13:35,759 --> 00:13:40,419up particularly in certain situations,but I'm going to encourage you to speak24500:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,289up and you can do it respectfully.24600:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,609Speaking up does notmean that you're rude.24700:13:44,609 --> 00:13:46,139It does not mean that you're mean.24800:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,399It does not mean that you're a bad person.24900:13:48,609 --> 00:13:53,049It means that you believe that there'sbeen a misinterpretation or maybe25000:13:53,079 --> 00:13:56,499someone has said something or donesomething that, that, that bothers you.25100:13:56,909 --> 00:13:59,369And it may be helpfulto speak up at the time.25200:13:59,909 --> 00:14:02,229And number six is extremely important.25300:14:02,230 --> 00:14:04,147You gotta enjoy yourself.25400:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,064You gotta enjoy yourself.25500:14:06,064 --> 00:14:11,814So, radical self help, one of ourNew Year resolutions for 2024.25600:14:12,474 --> 00:14:18,294is a balanced approach to mentaland physical health, conscious25700:14:18,514 --> 00:14:20,054and subconscious health.25800:14:20,834 --> 00:14:24,274Many times, individuals who havetrouble dealing with this or giving25900:14:24,274 --> 00:14:29,014themselves permission tend to bewhat I call responsible people.26000:14:29,624 --> 00:14:34,754And what I mean by responsible people,they're the person in the family,26100:14:34,814 --> 00:14:38,754many times the oldest, not always,but many times the oldest, but they're26200:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,194the ones who take care of everything.26300:14:40,719 --> 00:14:42,769You know, they take care of mom anddad, they take care of the other26400:14:42,769 --> 00:14:45,019kids, they, they just run things.26500:14:45,189 --> 00:14:48,259And so they're the ones that mom anddad go to and says, okay, I need you26600:14:48,259 --> 00:14:49,509to get your sister, blah, blah, blah.26700:14:49,509 --> 00:14:52,909And I need you to send your brother overhere and I need you to pick this up and I26800:14:52,909 --> 00:14:54,219need you to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.26900:14:54,379 --> 00:14:55,989Oh, by the way, I needto go to the doctor.27000:14:55,989 --> 00:14:57,359So you need to take me to the doctor.27100:14:57,569 --> 00:14:58,999They're the ones who do everything.27200:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,139And if you're not that person,you know, people like that.27300:15:02,414 --> 00:15:02,784Right?27400:15:03,324 --> 00:15:07,544Many times, they're the individuals whoget burned out the most, is my point.27500:15:08,144 --> 00:15:11,804They're the ones who are most used becausethey're very, very good at what they do.27600:15:11,814 --> 00:15:12,704That's why they do it.27700:15:13,174 --> 00:15:18,044But they many times end up getting burnedout most or faster than everybody else.27800:15:18,374 --> 00:15:22,194And so if you're one of those people,I don't want you to get burned out.27900:15:22,404 --> 00:15:23,674You know, we need you.28000:15:23,834 --> 00:15:27,264We need you to help all of usto do things that we want to do.28100:15:27,864 --> 00:15:32,294Sometimes they may be singleparents who feel like that my job28200:15:32,324 --> 00:15:34,184is to take care of everybody else.28300:15:34,444 --> 00:15:38,124And so I've heard the musicterm, I take care of myself last.28400:15:38,739 --> 00:15:42,039You know, I feed myself last,I blah, blah, blah myself last.28500:15:42,359 --> 00:15:47,809I'm going to suggest that, that you,you take a look at radical self care28600:15:47,969 --> 00:15:50,169and you don't have to put yourself last.28700:15:50,599 --> 00:15:54,199You know, you can just put yourself in themiddle, just, just do it at the same time.28800:15:54,369 --> 00:15:58,649That is okay, is what I'm trying tosay, because many of us as children,28900:15:59,079 --> 00:16:02,389it's sort of put this guilt on us,on ourselves, because we've always29000:16:02,389 --> 00:16:06,379done it, and so that's why we alwaysdo it, and it ends up being a problem29100:16:06,379 --> 00:16:11,389for us as we get older, as we get intorelationships, as we as we have to29200:16:11,399 --> 00:16:13,449deal with illnesses on and on and on.29300:16:13,729 --> 00:16:16,549So just think about that asa part of radical self help.29400:16:16,859 --> 00:16:18,159Or radical self care.29500:16:19,329 --> 00:16:23,559So again, the physical, mental, andspiritual, I won't go into every29600:16:23,559 --> 00:16:27,979single detail, but again, rememberto sort of physically take a walk,29700:16:28,249 --> 00:16:31,879again, it's giving yourself permission,and that's the term that I use.29800:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,839I'm going to give myselfpermission to do nothing today.29900:16:36,889 --> 00:16:40,819I'm just going to sit, I'm going towatch TV, I'm going to, I don't know,30000:16:41,099 --> 00:16:42,879take a walk, go to a movie, whatever.30100:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,859But I'm going to give myself permission.30200:16:44,999 --> 00:16:46,879And I use that phraseology.30300:16:47,159 --> 00:16:48,549Because only you can do it.30400:16:48,829 --> 00:16:51,839No, you don't, you don't get permissionfrom somebody else to do stuff.30500:16:52,079 --> 00:16:56,469You have to give yourself permissionbecause you're your own worst enemy.30600:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,279Believe it or not, and maybeenemy is too strong a term, but30700:17:00,279 --> 00:17:05,599you're your own, your own worstdeterrent or, or, or, or problem.30800:17:05,929 --> 00:17:10,489And that's why you need to giveyourself permission to eat a little ice30900:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,569cream because it makes me feel good.31000:17:12,979 --> 00:17:15,179I'm not a bad person if I eat ice cream.31100:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,790You know, and so my point is, giveyourself permission to do things,31200:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,760walk on the beach, climb a mountain.31300:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,410I have a good friend who, who likesto ride bikes on mountains, you31400:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,600know, mountain bikes and stuff.31500:17:26,870 --> 00:17:30,940And so he frequently posted on, onFacebook, his mountain bike rides.31600:17:31,335 --> 00:17:32,805You know, that makes him feel good.31700:17:32,815 --> 00:17:35,495So he gives himself permission to do that.31800:17:35,505 --> 00:17:39,155He's, he's an attorney, a retiredattorney friend of mine, member of St.31900:17:39,155 --> 00:17:40,275Stephen's, I might add.32000:17:40,635 --> 00:17:43,345So, so, so give yourselfpermission to do those things.32100:17:43,615 --> 00:17:46,565The same thing with mental andthe same thing with emotional.32200:17:46,725 --> 00:17:51,755So, so my, my point about radicalself care, it is not being selfish.32300:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,725Many times we were taught, oh,you're doing this for yourself.32400:17:55,725 --> 00:17:57,655Oh, you know, you, youshouldn't be selfish.32500:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,260You can do both.32600:17:59,940 --> 00:18:00,900You can do both.32700:18:01,190 --> 00:18:05,790You can help others, but you canalso concomitantly at the same time32800:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,350help yourself, and that's okay.32900:18:08,830 --> 00:18:13,200Because we need you to behealthy and wealthy and wise.33000:18:13,390 --> 00:18:15,910We need you to be spiritually stable.33100:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,480We need you to be physically andmentally okay, because you're33200:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,350human, and we humans are limited.33300:18:23,810 --> 00:18:24,650We're limited.33400:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,080So take care of yourselfand be okay with that.33500:18:28,930 --> 00:18:32,920Finally, in terms of just dealing withself care, then I'll move on is spending33600:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,510time with other people that make youfeel better, that make you feel good.33700:18:36,780 --> 00:18:42,250And, and notice, I, what, what I mean bythat is one of the things that I do is33800:18:42,250 --> 00:18:45,150that I stay away from negative people.33900:18:45,610 --> 00:18:46,320This is just me.34000:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,130This is just me.34100:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,590My definition of a negativeperson is, as you might imagine,34200:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,060somebody who's always negative.34300:18:53,510 --> 00:18:56,490You know, anytime you ask thema question, so how you doing?34400:18:56,490 --> 00:18:57,770Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.34500:18:58,010 --> 00:19:01,020You know, they always have something badto say about somebody else or whatever.34600:19:01,410 --> 00:19:03,350I tend to stay away from folks like that.34700:19:03,680 --> 00:19:08,530I, so, and concomitantly, I tend togravitate toward positive people.34800:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,120You know, because positivepeople make me feel good.34900:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,970And so what I'm saying is, youcan use some intentionality35000:19:13,980 --> 00:19:15,310with that, and that's okay.35100:19:17,575 --> 00:19:19,025Practice gratitude.35200:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,145Simple, simple, simple, simple, simple.35300:19:21,325 --> 00:19:22,715I call it the thank you.35400:19:23,235 --> 00:19:24,325Just say thank you.35500:19:24,900 --> 00:19:25,960Don't have to make a speech.35600:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,280Don't have to blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.35700:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,790Just say, thank you.35800:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,180I, I've told this story before.35900:19:31,340 --> 00:19:34,800One of the things that I learnedand my patients taught me is, you36000:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,840know, I'd operate on somebody ortreat some, some medical condition36100:19:39,170 --> 00:19:41,030and the patients say, Oh, Dr.36200:19:41,030 --> 00:19:43,280Choctaw, do you like blah, blah, blah?36300:19:43,300 --> 00:19:47,255Do you like tamales, or do youlike cornbread, or whatever,36400:19:47,255 --> 00:19:48,805I, you know, and I said, sure.36500:19:49,015 --> 00:19:51,145And they said, oh, I'm, I'mgonna make you some cornbread.36600:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,015I'm, I'm gonna bring youblah, blah, blah, blah, blah.36700:19:53,015 --> 00:19:54,675I'm gonna do whatever.36800:19:55,035 --> 00:19:57,055And, and they would do thatwhen I first started praying.36900:19:57,055 --> 00:19:58,645I said, oh, no, no, no, that's okay.37000:19:58,645 --> 00:19:59,465You don't have to do that.37100:19:59,465 --> 00:20:00,125No, please.37200:20:00,385 --> 00:20:01,215It's, it's all right.37300:20:01,215 --> 00:20:01,984It's all right.37400:20:01,985 --> 00:20:03,385You know, that's fine.37500:20:03,655 --> 00:20:10,370And what I learned was, that I was denyingthat person the opportunity to give to me.37600:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,140It's a big deal for patients37700:20:12,140 --> 00:20:12,260to37800:20:12,260 --> 00:20:13,570Dr. William T Choctaw, MD, JD:give to their physician.37900:20:13,810 --> 00:20:17,290And I would, I would argue you canplug anything in that blank for38000:20:17,290 --> 00:20:22,020physicians, minister, friend, caregiverchurch member, blah, blah, blah, blah.38100:20:22,570 --> 00:20:24,250Giving is a joy.38200:20:24,380 --> 00:20:27,070And those of you, and most ofus in this room, if not all of38300:20:27,070 --> 00:20:29,440us do give, we know that joy.38400:20:29,790 --> 00:20:31,580You volunteer for the food bank.38500:20:31,590 --> 00:20:32,150You feel good.38600:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,990You're tired at the end of the day.38700:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,290But you feel good.38800:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,590You feel good because, oh, I saw Mrs.38900:20:37,590 --> 00:20:38,180So and so, Mrs.39000:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,760So and so, and they were sohappy, and you should have seen39100:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,820the kids, and blah, blah, blah.39200:20:41,980 --> 00:20:42,950It's a joy.39300:20:43,190 --> 00:20:46,100And so my point is,let people give to you.39400:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,390And when they give toyou, just say thank you.39500:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,450Just say thank you.39600:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,340Don't need to make a speech.39700:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,370Just say thank you.39800:20:56,085 --> 00:21:00,195So always practice gratitude becausebelieve it or not, when you give39900:21:00,195 --> 00:21:03,885something out that's positive,you really do get that back.40000:21:04,235 --> 00:21:05,705You really do get that back.40100:21:05,855 --> 00:21:07,305Cut out the toxic stuff.40200:21:07,335 --> 00:21:09,625Now that's, that'sprobably self explanatory.40300:21:09,995 --> 00:21:13,215If you practice it or if you'rearound people who practice it,40400:21:13,215 --> 00:21:14,675just sort of stay away from that.40500:21:14,935 --> 00:21:16,375And that tends to be negative stuff.40600:21:16,935 --> 00:21:20,295tearing people down, ridiculingpeople, et cetera, et cetera.40700:21:20,805 --> 00:21:24,575And have a change of environment,you know, get in your car and40800:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,215take a drive or take a walk.40900:21:26,645 --> 00:21:28,465All those things are important.41000:21:29,375 --> 00:21:33,425Self care the ability to say no,and I won't go through all of this.41100:21:33,850 --> 00:21:36,420But one of the things that I wouldtell my patients who would come in41200:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,650who were very stressed, and sometimespatients would come in and I'd41300:21:39,650 --> 00:21:40,830say, what's the problem with Dave?41400:21:41,190 --> 00:21:43,390And they would talk for like 30 minutes.41500:21:43,700 --> 00:21:46,140And the reason is that theyjust wanted to talk to someone.41600:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,455And many times, I would sayto them, well, you know what?41700:21:51,095 --> 00:21:54,485I think you need to developthe ability to say no.41800:21:54,715 --> 00:21:56,225As simple as that appears.41900:21:56,405 --> 00:21:59,315You just need to say no,because you're the go to person.42000:21:59,315 --> 00:22:01,705You're the one that everybody comesto and says, can you do this for me?42100:22:01,725 --> 00:22:02,575Can you do that for me?42200:22:02,775 --> 00:22:03,395How about this?42300:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,825How should, what should I do about this?42400:22:05,065 --> 00:22:06,325I need you to come over here.42500:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,905I need you to have, I need you tobe a part of this meeting or this42600:22:09,255 --> 00:22:10,555organization or this and this.42700:22:10,725 --> 00:22:12,395And sometimes they'll say, you know what?42800:22:13,120 --> 00:22:13,780No, thank you.42900:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,160I, I appreciate it.43000:22:15,370 --> 00:22:18,370Next time, maybe I'll, I'll be able tohelp you or I'll be able to participate,43100:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,500but I, I just need a little quiet time.43200:22:20,560 --> 00:22:25,180I just need to rest or what, whateverthe words are, because a lot of times43300:22:25,180 --> 00:22:31,480our stress is us trying to please toomany people at the same time, and we43400:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,130can't physically and mentally do it.43500:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,860It's not that we don't wannado it, but it's, but we have43600:22:35,860 --> 00:22:37,360limits is what I'm trying to say.43700:22:37,570 --> 00:22:42,190That we, humans have limitations andwe have to recognize those limitations.43800:22:42,600 --> 00:22:47,550And to make things better,sleep, get more sleep.43900:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,810Now, I'm a big believer in sleep,and I certainly have much more44000:22:50,810 --> 00:22:52,680respect for sleep than I used to.44100:22:52,940 --> 00:22:56,050And I say this parenthetically,we physicians, particularly44200:22:56,050 --> 00:22:58,270we surgeons, pride ourselves.44300:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,030Pride ourselves in not sleeping.44400:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,390We would brag about, well, how manyhours of sleep did you get last night?44500:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,870Well, I just got two and I did a sixhour operation and blah, blah, blah.44600:23:09,090 --> 00:23:11,910And, you know, that, thatwas an odd badge of courage.44700:23:12,220 --> 00:23:13,300Stupidity!44800:23:13,930 --> 00:23:15,269Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!44900:23:15,270 --> 00:23:16,270Stupidity!45000:23:16,860 --> 00:23:18,270Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!45100:23:18,640 --> 00:23:23,020Sleep is one of the most importantgifts that God gives to us.45200:23:23,570 --> 00:23:28,000And, and it doesn't take a geniusto figure out That the more rested45300:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,910you are, the better you perform.45400:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,810But anyway, I, I, I digress.45500:23:32,860 --> 00:23:33,620I digress.45600:23:33,990 --> 00:23:35,210But, but true, true.45700:23:35,270 --> 00:23:37,120I, you know, it'scertainly true of surgeons.45800:23:37,530 --> 00:23:41,200Now, obviously we had the job thatwhere, where many times you, you don't45900:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,890get a lot of sleep, but, but you wantto get as much sleep as you can because46000:23:44,890 --> 00:23:47,770you can't nearly perform as well.46100:23:47,890 --> 00:23:50,220And I used to pride myself,my goal was four hours.46200:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,050I said, if I can getfour hours, I can do it.46300:23:53,250 --> 00:23:54,530I can do any operation.46400:23:54,530 --> 00:23:56,040I can, I can drive anywhere.46500:23:56,260 --> 00:23:56,680Don't know.46600:23:56,830 --> 00:23:59,190If I get less than four hours,now, now I've got problems.46700:23:59,835 --> 00:24:00,615Now, I've got problems.46800:24:01,105 --> 00:24:04,085So my point is, don't havesilly things like that.46900:24:04,325 --> 00:24:09,995Just get your 7 to 8 hours of sleepevery night, even if you are a47000:24:09,995 --> 00:24:12,355surgeon, even if you are a surgeon.47100:24:12,645 --> 00:24:15,235Now, I know sometimes you get calls inthe middle of the night or whatever,47200:24:15,235 --> 00:24:17,325but, but that, that should be your goal.47300:24:17,515 --> 00:24:21,415Sleep, by the way, and we continueto learn about sleep, as I mentioned47400:24:21,445 --> 00:24:23,655before, two things happen during sleep.47500:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,560One is a process of the day's event.47600:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,000Now you unconscious, right?47700:24:28,340 --> 00:24:32,110You've cuddled up with your, yourteddy bear or, you know, however47800:24:32,110 --> 00:24:33,270you go to sleep or whatever.47900:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,830And, but, but your brain is still going.48000:24:36,270 --> 00:24:38,590Your brain does not shutdown when you sleep.48100:24:38,870 --> 00:24:39,840You're unconscious.48200:24:40,495 --> 00:24:41,465You don't know what's going on.48300:24:41,465 --> 00:24:42,165You're sleeping.48400:24:42,405 --> 00:24:44,865Your brain is going througheverything you did that day.48500:24:45,135 --> 00:24:49,225Organizing what it needs to organize,throwing out stuff you probably need48600:24:49,225 --> 00:24:54,165to forget, you know, and setting youup and preparing for the next day.48700:24:54,365 --> 00:24:55,125Think about that.48800:24:55,505 --> 00:25:00,565Think about the amazing God made computerthat does this sort of stuff, right?48900:25:01,415 --> 00:25:04,275And the other part of thatis restoration energy.49000:25:04,740 --> 00:25:07,620Rest, rest, rest.49100:25:07,840 --> 00:25:13,130We all need rest, mental, physical,spiritual because once we get that49200:25:13,130 --> 00:25:17,930rest, now we're ready when we wake upand the sun is rises to take on that49300:25:17,930 --> 00:25:20,450next day and do the best job possible.49400:25:22,220 --> 00:25:24,170There are many differenttypes of techniques you can49500:25:24,170 --> 00:25:25,450practice to go to sleep.49600:25:25,790 --> 00:25:30,420You know, some people like to do yoga,meditation some people play music it's49700:25:30,420 --> 00:25:32,090suggested not to look at the clock.49800:25:32,090 --> 00:25:34,180I must admit, I always look at the clock.49900:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,670I always know what time I go to sleep.50000:25:36,670 --> 00:25:39,810I always know what time I wake up.50100:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,810I'm a clock type person.50200:25:41,810 --> 00:25:43,060I'm just, I'm just that way.50300:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,870I, you know, I tell people,I've said this before also.50400:25:46,205 --> 00:25:48,545You know, if I have to be at ameeting, I'm going to get there50500:25:48,575 --> 00:25:50,625early because I hate being late.50600:25:50,805 --> 00:25:52,335I'm just one of those time people.50700:25:52,635 --> 00:25:53,785And limit caffeine.50800:25:53,795 --> 00:25:55,035Now, caffeine is interesting.50900:25:55,035 --> 00:25:57,415Some people say, well, youknow, I can't drink coffee at51000:25:57,415 --> 00:25:58,725night because it keeps me awake.51100:25:59,055 --> 00:26:01,045I can drink three cups of coffee a night.51200:26:01,325 --> 00:26:03,575If I drink, let me, let me qualify.51300:26:03,575 --> 00:26:05,985If I drink a watermelon coffee, right?51400:26:06,085 --> 00:26:09,905If I drink, if I drink water, if I drinkregular coffee, then it's not any good.51500:26:10,085 --> 00:26:12,495But if I drink watermeloncoffee, I can sleep like a baby.51600:26:12,885 --> 00:26:14,115It doesn't matter.51700:26:14,135 --> 00:26:14,905It doesn't matter.51800:26:15,135 --> 00:26:19,265And so one of the things thatyou've heard people say, and I think51900:26:19,265 --> 00:26:23,275it does sum up what we're sayingtoday is pray more, worry less.52000:26:24,005 --> 00:26:26,555You've heard that, youknow, a lot of people say.52100:26:26,675 --> 00:26:27,915And I think that's true.52200:26:27,985 --> 00:26:33,045I think, I think simplicity manytimes is the essence of greatness.52300:26:33,630 --> 00:26:35,430Pray more worry less.52400:26:35,900 --> 00:26:38,340If I'm worrying, then thatmeans I'm not praying enough.52500:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,460And if I'm praying, that meansI'm not really worried, right?52600:26:43,090 --> 00:26:46,600Because at the end of the day,only you can take care of you.52700:26:47,430 --> 00:26:48,710Only you can take care of you.52800:26:48,740 --> 00:26:49,964Other people can try to help.52900:26:50,385 --> 00:26:53,875And they can give you advice, andthey can say nice things to you.53000:26:54,245 --> 00:26:59,535But it's ultimately your decision abouthow you feel and how you interreact.53100:26:59,885 --> 00:27:01,545My opinion, okay?53200:27:02,135 --> 00:27:04,465Be intentional about cell phone use.53300:27:04,665 --> 00:27:06,295Be intentional about cell phone use.53400:27:06,295 --> 00:27:12,605Now I will admit, I will admit becausemy wife is in the room, I will admit,53500:27:12,775 --> 00:27:17,945I'm one of those people that it tookme a while to get to the smartphone.53600:27:18,545 --> 00:27:22,595And when I say took me a while, therewas a time when my wife and I were53700:27:22,595 --> 00:27:24,895with the kids and the grandkids.53800:27:25,735 --> 00:27:29,885These are grandkids from SanDiego and I brought out my53900:27:29,885 --> 00:27:32,562silver flip phone that I adored.54000:27:32,562 --> 00:27:34,348I adored that phone.54100:27:34,348 --> 00:27:36,133But it stopped working.54200:27:36,133 --> 00:27:41,934I'd flip it on and I'd push thebuttons and it wouldn't work.54300:27:41,934 --> 00:27:43,719And my grandkids sing.54400:27:45,450 --> 00:27:47,470Grandpa, you know, what, what is it?54500:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,310That was, you know, Isaid, it's my cell phone.54600:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,530And my son, Preston, just laughed at me.54700:27:51,850 --> 00:27:55,350But I couldn't get it fixed because theydidn't have any more parts for that.54800:27:55,350 --> 00:27:56,640And it was that old.54900:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,320I, I know it's, it's embarrassing,but it was that, but it, it was a55000:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,560gorgeous phone and I, and I loved it.55100:28:02,890 --> 00:28:08,350But, but anyway, anyway but so, so I, I,and I then gravitated to the iPhone thing.55200:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,065But my point is, We can get to thepoint that the machinery controls us and55300:28:14,065 --> 00:28:18,185we need, my personal opinion, we needto always be in control, not only of55400:28:18,185 --> 00:28:20,885ourselves, but our environment around us.55500:28:21,820 --> 00:28:24,830And that's where the praymore, worry less comes in.55600:28:24,850 --> 00:28:26,120Can't control other people.55700:28:26,420 --> 00:28:28,050Don't, don't even waste your time with it.55800:28:28,230 --> 00:28:29,890It doesn't mean thatyou don't give advice.55900:28:29,890 --> 00:28:31,360It doesn't mean that you don't help.56000:28:31,610 --> 00:28:34,460But you can't control them,is what I'm trying to say.56100:28:34,860 --> 00:28:38,540But, but so just, just beintentional about cell phone use.56200:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,505That, that and there are differentways to do that, you know, you can56300:28:42,515 --> 00:28:44,365turn it off certain times or whatever.56400:28:44,605 --> 00:28:48,264Now, a lot of you have jobswhere you are on call 24 7.56500:28:48,445 --> 00:28:51,275I did that most of mylife, I, I, I get that.56600:28:51,685 --> 00:28:53,535But still, just, just be aware of that.56700:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,420It starts with with our young people.56800:28:56,670 --> 00:29:01,630And if you think that you are controlledby the cell phone, I guarantee you that56900:29:01,630 --> 00:29:03,850the kids are even more controlled by it.57000:29:04,050 --> 00:29:06,230And maybe control is too strong a word.57100:29:06,230 --> 00:29:07,660And I'll admit that.57200:29:07,860 --> 00:29:10,170And that may very wellbe one of my prejudices.57300:29:10,675 --> 00:29:11,895But just be aware of it.57400:29:11,895 --> 00:29:12,915Just be aware of it.57500:29:13,235 --> 00:29:17,605Because when we get into the whole chatbotthing or the artificial intelligence57600:29:17,605 --> 00:29:22,035thing, you may want to be able tohave some, some distinction between57700:29:22,035 --> 00:29:26,815what you do and what the, what, what,what the artificial intelligence does.57800:29:27,205 --> 00:29:29,485And a lot of times you askyourself, well, sort of what, what,57900:29:29,525 --> 00:29:30,775what's wrong with this picture?58000:29:31,195 --> 00:29:34,535You know, if you have three kidsthat are out in the, in the sun and58100:29:34,545 --> 00:29:38,595beautiful grass, but everybody's gottheir face buried in a cell phone.58200:29:39,185 --> 00:29:41,995I, you know, I'm going to leave itup for you to decide whether that's a58300:29:41,995 --> 00:29:47,485good thing or not a good thing, but I'mjust saying, be aware, be aware, right?58400:29:48,655 --> 00:29:49,675Just about done.58500:29:50,125 --> 00:29:56,835Matthew 18, 22 takes you in, in, and mostof you know this, to a conversation that58600:29:56,835 --> 00:30:00,995Jesus was having with his disciples wherethey were talking about forgiveness.58700:30:01,255 --> 00:30:07,165And I have always believed that oneof the most important gifts that we're58800:30:07,175 --> 00:30:10,705given is the ability to forgive, youknow and I think it's probably one58900:30:10,705 --> 00:30:12,375of the ones that we use the least.59000:30:13,015 --> 00:30:16,465I struggle with it and I thinkall of us struggle with it, but I59100:30:16,475 --> 00:30:18,085think it's important, is my point.59200:30:18,455 --> 00:30:23,675That one of the reasons whymany times that we are stressed59300:30:23,905 --> 00:30:25,525is the inability to forgive.59400:30:25,555 --> 00:30:28,765Someone, again, cuts you off onthe freeway, or says something to59500:30:28,775 --> 00:30:32,515you in a meeting, or says somethingto you at work, or whatever, I'm59600:30:32,535 --> 00:30:34,984just making up stuff let it go.59700:30:35,364 --> 00:30:36,104Just let it go.59800:30:36,284 --> 00:30:37,534Don't try to figure it out.59900:30:37,534 --> 00:30:37,619Let it go.60000:30:37,819 --> 00:30:39,359Because then you just get more upset.60100:30:40,109 --> 00:30:41,319Why did he cut me off?60200:30:41,319 --> 00:30:42,469I haven't done anything to him.60300:30:42,469 --> 00:30:43,039I don't even know.60400:30:43,319 --> 00:30:44,369Don't even go there.60500:30:44,429 --> 00:30:44,879Don't even go.60600:30:44,879 --> 00:30:48,749Just say, God bless you or whateveryou want, but just forgive.60700:30:49,009 --> 00:30:49,639Just forgive.60800:30:50,129 --> 00:30:53,749That if you were able to do that thenthat would just be one less thing60900:30:53,749 --> 00:30:55,289that you have to be concerned about.61000:30:55,779 --> 00:31:01,119So as you look at your new year and asyou look at this year being better than61100:31:01,199 --> 00:31:04,209last year, because I think every newyear should be better than the last.61200:31:04,669 --> 00:31:09,509I think we should always grow, and that'swhat I consider growth to be that, that,61300:31:09,509 --> 00:31:14,469that we look at being more well that welook at taking better care of ourselves61400:31:14,639 --> 00:31:20,029mentally, physically, and spiritually thatwe forgive and that we all practice this.61500:31:20,279 --> 00:31:21,119being well.61600:31:21,609 --> 00:31:24,109I always like to end with mybasic principles that I've said it61700:31:24,109 --> 00:31:26,049before, but that God is in charge.61800:31:26,339 --> 00:31:29,569And again, worry more, I mean,worry less and pray more.61900:31:29,889 --> 00:31:30,969No bad days.62000:31:30,969 --> 00:31:32,069I don't have bad days.62100:31:32,069 --> 00:31:33,969I got rid of them about 30 years ago.62200:31:34,289 --> 00:31:37,904Cause I figured the days were onlygood were only bad if I said they were.62300:31:38,334 --> 00:31:42,224That I define what my days were, justlike you define what your days are.62400:31:42,504 --> 00:31:44,314Why in the world would youwant to have a bad day?62500:31:44,924 --> 00:31:45,424I don't.62600:31:45,654 --> 00:31:46,434So get rid of them.62700:31:46,634 --> 00:31:47,734Just, just get rid of them.62800:31:48,074 --> 00:31:51,284You'll be amazed if you changeyour life to the extent that62900:31:51,284 --> 00:31:52,744you never have another bad day.63000:31:52,774 --> 00:31:53,494Think about that.63100:31:53,814 --> 00:31:57,884Think about that awesome powerthat, that, that God has given63200:31:57,884 --> 00:31:59,184us to say, you know what?63300:31:59,444 --> 00:32:01,704Things, things are goodand, and you embrace that.63400:32:02,204 --> 00:32:03,464Don't sweat the small stuff.63500:32:03,504 --> 00:32:04,784Most stuff is small.63600:32:05,134 --> 00:32:08,094I've said this before also, themost of the times I've figured out63700:32:08,464 --> 00:32:12,184that when I get upset or about toget upset about something, over63800:32:12,184 --> 00:32:14,62490 percent of the time I am wrong.63900:32:15,154 --> 00:32:19,544Not 50 50, 65 45, 90 percent of the time.64000:32:19,904 --> 00:32:22,114So it's not even worth it, right?64100:32:22,264 --> 00:32:24,404So I said, just let that go.64200:32:24,434 --> 00:32:26,124I mean, that just didn't make sense.64300:32:26,669 --> 00:32:29,399As I mentioned before,forgiveness really is therapy.64400:32:30,089 --> 00:32:32,069You want to give a treatment to yourself?64500:32:32,519 --> 00:32:33,879Just go around forgiving folks.64600:32:34,079 --> 00:32:36,849Forget those folks thatirritate you or bother you.64700:32:37,349 --> 00:32:39,389And finally, everything is a relationship.64800:32:39,399 --> 00:32:41,229Relationships are based on three things.64900:32:41,529 --> 00:32:45,399Mutual respect, mutualtrust, good communication.65000:32:45,629 --> 00:32:48,579If you have those three things,you have a good relationship.65100:32:48,924 --> 00:32:51,174If you do not, you've got work to do.65200:32:52,184 --> 00:32:55,674This Masterclass seriesis also in podcast form.65300:32:56,104 --> 00:32:59,724I would encourage you, if you want tobe able to go back and review these65400:32:59,724 --> 00:33:03,324series and many others to go to patron.65500:33:03,844 --> 00:33:05,214podbean.65600:33:05,264 --> 00:33:08,134com forward slash h w w p.65700:33:08,514 --> 00:33:11,204And that's the Health and Wealthand Wives podcast with Dr.65800:33:11,204 --> 00:33:11,714Choctaw.65900:33:12,094 --> 00:33:17,804And we have done over 40 podcasts inthe last year or so and you would be66000:33:17,804 --> 00:33:19,984able to get more of this information.66100:33:20,304 --> 00:33:23,604And finally, be the changeyou want to see in the world.66200:33:23,804 --> 00:33:24,934Are there any questions?66300:33:25,234 --> 00:33:25,684Yes, sir.66400:33:29,524 --> 00:33:32,304Oh, help, help, self help andself care are basically the same.66500:33:32,504 --> 00:33:33,234Any other questions?66600:33:34,094 --> 00:33:34,784Okay.66700:33:35,424 --> 00:33:38,004Yeah, any questions from,from, from the Zoom audience?66800:33:39,069 --> 00:33:44,149While we're waiting, I would encourageyou to to really listen to us on podcasts.66900:33:45,049 --> 00:33:47,359There'll be some veryinteresting interviews.67000:33:47,829 --> 00:33:53,109The distinguished Reverend John Nickensis one of those interviewees, and you'll67100:33:53,109 --> 00:33:58,069learn about all of his secrets and whyhe's the great person that he is, well,67200:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,870try not to fall asleep on that one.67300:33:59,870 --> 00:34:03,990Oh, I, oh, ReverendNickens, are you with us?67400:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,220Always.67500:34:06,610 --> 00:34:08,280Thank you so much for joining us.67600:34:08,950 --> 00:34:12,370But other people that have beeninterviewed are Pastor Dockery,67700:34:12,400 --> 00:34:16,440Tony Dockery is one of thepersons interviewed, Sister Lorena67800:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,940Chalkshaw has been interviewed.67900:34:18,220 --> 00:34:20,500You really don't want to miss the podcast.68000:34:20,870 --> 00:34:23,269So again, go to podbean.68100:34:23,309 --> 00:34:23,679com.68200:34:23,689 --> 00:34:28,380You can download the app in yourapp store, the Podbean app, and68300:34:28,380 --> 00:34:29,900you can access all the podcasts.68400:34:32,390 --> 00:34:36,950If there is nothing else, again, I wantto thank you for being with us today and68500:34:36,950 --> 00:34:39,450wish you a very, very happy new year.68600:34:39,759 --> 00:34:44,350And we'd like to ask Pastor Rivas to comeand dismiss us with a word of prayer.68700:34:47,500 --> 00:34:47,990It's okay.68800:34:49,130 --> 00:34:50,180We're family here.68900:34:52,290 --> 00:34:52,530Amen.69000:34:53,010 --> 00:34:53,440Thank you, Dr.69100:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,340Jackow, for helping us.69200:34:56,710 --> 00:34:57,080Amen.69300:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,660And helping us too.69400:35:00,890 --> 00:35:02,660Heavenly Father, wethank you for this day.69500:35:03,110 --> 00:35:03,940You've given us a lot.69600:35:04,290 --> 00:35:07,010We understand that this isthe day that you have made.69700:35:07,350 --> 00:35:11,069And it is our choice, oh LordGod, to enjoy it, to delight in69800:35:11,070 --> 00:35:13,389it, and to have dominion over it.69900:35:13,740 --> 00:35:15,129For you even made it for us.70000:35:15,765 --> 00:35:17,835Oh God, not us for this day.70100:35:18,015 --> 00:35:20,715Therefore, Lord God, to you,we'll give you all the praise.70200:35:21,455 --> 00:35:23,765I thank you for the life of Dr.70300:35:24,515 --> 00:35:28,835Au, his ministry, Lord God, hisfamily, and for the opportunity you've70400:35:28,835 --> 00:35:33,875given us, Lord God, to enjoy him andto be bene beneficiary of his now.70500:35:34,505 --> 00:35:36,665Thank you for all thepeople who participated.70600:35:36,825 --> 00:35:39,165Give us that, what we have heard.70700:35:39,305 --> 00:35:40,755That power, oh Lord God.70800:35:41,255 --> 00:35:46,555For even you said that you have givenus not a spirit of powerness, but of70900:35:46,805 --> 00:35:49,465power, of love, and of a sound mind.71000:35:49,714 --> 00:35:55,354In the name of Jesus, let us be thatlight, being healthy, being well.71100:35:55,554 --> 00:35:56,785In your name we pray.71200:35:57,275 --> 00:35:57,705Amen.71300:35:58,365 --> 00:35:58,465Amen.